BASH
LOL: ‘Regretsy’ Bashes More Than We Do!

Regretsy is the newest member of the bash-things family..This user board prides itself in making fun of things they think are hideous on Etsy, and getting away with it by refusing to link to the original source…not like it’s hard to find custom Twilight painted converse…Google?
What do you guys think, is this funny, or just plain mean?
LINK LOVE: Jezebel
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, etsy, regretsy, twilight converse

THE BASHED Vadge Bag Is Looking for Love #FASHIONFAIL

Sally couldn’t understand why her boyfriend Barry liked her new handbag so much and had no problem carrying it for her when she headed to fitting rooms.
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, The Bashed, vadge bag

The Bashed: BagTV

We all survived the mini backpacks and see-through bags; but if 2009 means purses with built-in TVs, I’d sooner buy a time machine.
Available in a variety of colors and materials, the $400 BagTV has a 7-inch TV screen, DVD and MPEG player with USB connectivity and 2.5-hour battery life
My immediate thought was concern that people would get mugged for these. But I’m pretty sure even the hardest criminal would be ashamed to even touch this.
Even I am limited in my ability to capture perfection with words. So here are the best quotes from the BagTV website, which hyphenates “hand-bag:”
- “…enables the owner to literally watch Films/Videos…” (literally!!)
- “Use at night in bars, and clubs to show off your latest photos, or favourite videos.” (You’re going home alone tonight from said bar or club)
- “…doubles as a really useful bit of kit for the ladies to rival their boys toys!” (…bit of kit?)
From Style Frizz
READ MORE ABOUT: BagTV, BASH

The Bashed: Wino

READ MORE ABOUT: Amy Winehouse, BASH

Designer Discovery: Josh Goot





Working to blend both comfort and cutting-edge designs, Josh Goot isn’t stopping for anything as he quickly climbs the ranks to the top. It’s clear through the wide range of the label’s designs that these are creations, which will appeal to a wide range of people. The summer and spring collections take a walk on the fun and flirty side with loosely-fitted dresses and bright colors. On the other hand, the fall and winter collections speak to the fierce and independent woman. Using bold colors such as blacks, it’s clear that your dealing with a confident and stylish consumer. The great thing about Josh Goot designs are that they push the limits without breaking the wearable boundary. These aren’t designs that sit by themselves while people stare in awe, they’re worn on the streets while people do so. This is clearly a label capable of making outfits for a variety of occasions and people, so no matter where you’re going or what you’re doing, go get one!
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, Josh Goot

The Bashed: Pre-Distressed Chucks

Naturally distressed Converse sneakers are almost as sentimental as great grandma’s baked macaroni recipe passed down through several generations. The thing I love about seeing someone sporting a nice beat up pair of these kicks are the stories behind them…the tragic bleach spill at the laundromat, the pit bull who mistook the chucks for a steak, the mud pit at Lollapalooza. The stories are endlessly entertaining. So, why one earth would you buy Chucks that already have tears, stains and battered laces? Not only are you sacrificing the story behind the timeless sneaker, you resemble the loser who actually coughed up money for torn Abercrombie jeans! I despise this instant gratification era we live in and Converse is just feeding the flame by pre-beating their shoes. Really people, have some patience, take your time with a natural distressing process…Chucks aren’t going out of style anytime soon.
Thanks Arquivo Urbano!
READ MORE ABOUT: abercrombie, BASH, Converse

Mary-Kate Olsen: A Walking, Talking, Breathing TrendSpark




I’ll be honest with you, I envy Mary Kate Olsen. No, I’m not bitter that the girl was world famous for saying “you got it dude,” becoming a multi-millionaire before her first birthday. I’m not jealous of the fact that she has an equally successful identical twin sister who aids Mary Kate in pissing off PETA. I could care less that she had a fling with our handsome departed Heath Ledger. What I do covet, however, is this girl’s immaculate roll out of bed, get dressed in the dark, pile on mismatched accessories style and how well she pulls it off.
People may poke fun at her style, saying she looks like an anorexic crack-head, but I love it. For some odd reason, the girl always looks disheveled, thrown together and homeless, but stunning, fashionable and worthy of Fashion Indie’s praise. I would like to consider Mary Kate the pioneer of the bohemian, mod-vintage look, a look that seems easy to pull off, but takes mastery that only this Olsen has. There is no denying that Mary Kate looks good in whatever she wears, with or without styled hair, rips or no rips, baggy or tight fitting. If only Mary Kate still attended NYU…I could hunt her down, grovel at her feet and ask her to teach me her ways.
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, heath ledger, Mary Kate, peta

Mother Mary Would Not Be Happy

Correct me if I am wrong, but there is something terribly disturbing about celebrities who correct their unsuccessful past relationships by robbing the cradle. Madonna, like many others, has had her fair share of spotlight boyfriends and breakups, but I certainly hoped she wouldn’t fall into the Demi Moore trap of dating boys who should be doing keg stands at their respective college’s frat house. Apparently the celebrity world is a world where age is not an issue. Madonna is 50 and her new Brazilian model man candy Jesus Luz is 20. Easy math here. She was married to Sean Penn with a successful career when this kid was running around in diapers!
By all means, Madonna, he is quite the looker…if you can still attract sexy, foreign models even with your age, track record, wrinkles and menopausal symptoms riding on your back, all the power to you! However, if this is a mid-life crisis relationship for the tabloids, I would crucify what you have going with Jesus before the holy trinity spites your ass!
Thanks NY Mag!
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, jesus luz, Madonna, sean penn

Christina Aguilera: The Urban Outfitters Poster Child

I think Christina Aguilera is going through a mid-career identity crisis. She started us off with a young, cherub-like genie-in-a-bottle before moving to the oh-so-fabulous pin-up stage where she stayed for some time. Then she gave birth and started to swing the drag queen look which didn’t sit so well in my stomach. Now, Aguilera apparently watched too much Gossip Girl. Does anyone else see the resemblance to Jenny Humphrey here? It’s the lumberjack-after-a-MGMT-rave-party Jenny Humphrey kind of look that I hope doesn’t stick around for too long. I guess if the singing career doesn’t pan out, you can always be an Urban Outfitters window model Christina.
Thanks Just Jared!
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, Christina Aguilera, gossip girl, jenny humphrey, mgmt, urban outfitters

The Bashed: Donatella Versace

Is this really Donatella Versace?
Donatella’s battled her demons in the past and even spent some time in rehab for alcohol and cocaine addictions. It looks like she’s transferred those addictions, taking some unhealthy cues from daughter Allegra, or stayingout in the sun too long, or overbleaching her hair …. or all of the above.
Maybe St. Bart’s is just full of bad lighting.
Photo from The Daily Mail.
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, Donatella Versace

The Bashed: Nancy Wu for Nike

Nike has asked Nancy Wu to design a remix project for the brand. I have to say, the results disappoint me. Her illustrations and such are so adorable, but I can’t figure out how she came up with these. Gladiator sneakers… really? I don’t see how these serve a purpose, whether fashion or function wise. It looks like the pair of Goodwill sneakers I tried to make cutouts in a few years ago. FAIL.
Thanks Highsnobette!
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, gladiator, Goodwill, nancy wu, nike

Looking Robotic Is Not So Hypnotic

I didn’t get the memo that dressing like robots was the new thing. Regardless, I’m not sure I’d want to jump on board. Jennifer Connelly is looking more awkward than usual in this Givenchy number. The dress doesn’t hug any parts of her body but rather hangs loosely as if draped on cold, hard steel. The cutouts hit all the wrong places, which gives the impression she is playing dress-up in mommy’s ill-fitting clothes.
Thanks Fabulousness!
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, givenchy, Jennifer Connelly

The Bashed: Jenna Dewan

The Golden Globe Awards, aka my favorite time to barf on everyone’s fashion parade. Jenna Dewan did an exceptionally nice job of giving me material to bash. Not only is the Herve Leger bandage dress so over-worn it makes me want to pull my own teeth, but it was not designed for chickens. I could snap poor Dewan in half over my knee. She needs to come over to my house and eat a nice Greek meal so she can fill out that dress like a woman instead of a 1st grader who was injured during a gym class dodgeball tournament. And the color? Bitch please. This is the perfect look for a burnt-out South Beach cougar.
Thanks Fabulousness!
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, herve leger, jenna dewan, the golden globe awards

The Bashed: Rihanna


Rihanna, I love you, but your fashion sense as of late has been getting on my last nerve. Out of all the tops in all the world, you choose this ruffled, midriff-baring, tranny-mess of a number. And in Paris? Big mistake woman. What happened to your avant-garde, unique and fun style? Now you look like an extra from Clueless. I stopped dressing like Cher and Dion over a decade ago; now it’s your turn to follow suit.
Thanks to Just Jared for the photos.
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, Cher, clueless, dion, Rihanna

Want To Smell More Like Meat Than Paris Hilton’s Face?
No this is not a joke, Burger King has released a body spray called Flame. Judging by the picture, I would have to guess that the scent is somewhere between a dumpster full of male stripper dicks and bacon grease. However, Burger describes more of “the scent of seduction” and “a hint of flame broiled-meat”. This is just a ploy to get people to eat more Burger King. If I smelled like Burger King all the time I would probably puke all over myself, I eat one fry from there and I feel dirty. Maybe if fat people sprayed this on their veggies they would lose weight! No? Just a thought. Well I’m going to spray myself down in cologne just to insure I don’t smell like this…ever! If for some stupid reason you would like to buy some of this death juice, check out the website, or head over to Ricky’s.
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, Burger King, paris hilton, ricky's

The Bashed: Jansport Backpack Guy
It’s Monday, and you know what that means, another week of the best bashes we can dream up. Monday usually seems to be the best day to get this stuff off my chest, especially after a weekend spent in the presence of trashy club people and dive bar wonders.
I spent most of this weekend finishing up Christmas shopping and dodging the tourists who are headed to town for the holidays. While on my 5 hour voyage all over Manhattan, I couldn’t help but notice more and more people over the age of 12 who were still rocking the Jansport backpack. I’m pretty sure it was a staple that as soon as you were out of junior high you had to ditch the Jansport. For all you steady Jansport users out there, how does it feel that the 35 year old video game designer, who still lives in his mom’s basement, with the ponytail knows better than to wear one of those? Oh and for all you anti-conformist douche bags out there who don’t want to get a messenger bag, there are plenty of other options that will suffice more than a Jansport bag. If this hasn’t been reason enough to get a new bag, maybe the high five you share with the kid in the picture above, after he sets the new high score on Pac-Man at the arcade will.
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, Jansport, Pac-Man

Robo-Hoe Is A Prude!
Le Trung’s social skills clearly suck it hard. So hard that he built himself a woman named, Aiko. I guess he got tired of getting those rejection letters from EHarmony. Robo-Hoe can clean the house, speak 13,000 sentences in English & Japanese and fend off your sexual advances………wait a minute, that sounds like a real woman to me! Her most impressive sentence is ‘I don’t like it when you touch my breasts’. I’ll be damned if an appliance tells me that I can’t have a little taste of the goods. That’s like my fridge telling me I can’t dry hump it on those drunk nights when I come home to a lonely apartment and need a little lovin’.
The most offensive thing is that he payed all this money and she looks like cheap trailer trash with paint by number pancake make-up from the “Cover-All” Ike Turner domestic abuse glamour kit. If I pay $20,000 for a woman she had better not only let me touch the breasts but also be the lay of my life. I better not be able to walk or form intelligent sentences for a week. Do you understand what that can buy? A new collection of Raf Simons footwear and a fatnin’ double meat double cheese to eat in front of the starving waifs down at Wilhelmina.
All I’m saying is, if you want to be rejected by a woman there’s no need to pay 20 large for that. That money could have been put to good use on cheap, eager hookers or paper for the girls down at Wilhelmina to eat or more warm vomit like sludge and sewer water beverage urine for the Kathie Lee sweat shop orphans down at the docks. Such a senseless waste.
- Z’maji of HauteBlogXOXO
READ MORE ABOUT: aiko, BASH, eharmony, Raf Simons

I’m Over It: Fur Hooded Jackets
There is something about fur on guys that never really looks right, and I think that unless it’s a rare occasion men in general shouldn’t be wearing fur. So when it comes to fur rimmed hoods I am beginning to form a deep hatred for the fashion statement. First and foremost the fur doesn’t even keep you warm, and to top it off 99% of the jackets with a fur rimmed hood aren’t even real fur. I think that the only appropriate time to wear a jacket like this is if you are performing in some sort of dog sled race or if you’re skiing, other than that there is no need for fur. I don’t think I need to continue my rant, but this is a trend that needs to just die.
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, Fur Lined Coats, I'm Over It

The Bashed: Whitney Port’s Spring 2009 Collection
When I saw Whitney Port’s Spring 2009 collection, I couldn’t help but laugh. Then, I got this funny feeling in my stomach and proceeded to vomit all over my keyboard. I initially thought that it couldn’t get much worse than the hideous jersey cocktail dresses of Lauren Conrad, but oh, I was so wrong. There is something very disheartening about tie-dyed cotton dresses and booty shorts alongside zip-up purple tanks and off the shoulder bohemian dresses. I remember seeing sorry excuses for fashion, almost identical to Port’s collection, at the Limited Too when I was six.
The hysterical laughing, followed my vomiting, continued when I realized that one of Port’s dresses goes for $345. Yes, it’s the name you are paying for, but if you tell someone who has never seen The Hills, they will undoubtedly say, “Whitney who?” Why on earth would you pay for the awful design of a fashion senseless diva who probably made her claim to “fame” because daddy pulled a few strings.
Forget presents this Christmas, all I want is for pathetic designers like Whitney Port to realize that they have no talent.
Thanks Fabsugar!
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH

Five Winter Don’ts For The Sylish Man
1.) The Ear Muff: There is no easier way to look like a Wall Street douche bag than ear muffs, especially the behind the head ones. Ear muffs are like the shitty stocking stuffer gift that your crazy Aunt Myrtle buys you for Christmas. The main selling point for these stupid things is that you can wear them with out messing up your hair. If you are that conscious about how you look you should know better than to wear something so stupid.
Alternatives: Buy a nice knit hat that will keep your ears warm in the frigid weather. I recommend the Marc Jacobs one that is currently on my head. It’s $45 and it’s cashmere, it’s heaven.
2.) Cargo Pants: As Jonah Hill said in Superbad, “No one’s gotten a hand-job in cargo pants since Nam.” Enough said.
Alternatives: Anything with two leg holes and a reasonable number of pockets (5 or less).
3.) Face Mask: I really am blown away at how many people I see wearing these on a daily basis. There are so many different options that can make you look like you aren’t going to rob the Duane Reade on the corner. I can understand if your ugly, or you have a bit of clap residue on your lip from the stripper the night before, but come on Hannibal Lecter ditch the mask.
Alternatives: The easiest way to combat this stupidity is just pull your scarf up over your face. Grab a cool scarf from any retailer for like $20 and your all set.
4.) The Bubble Jacket: In a society where being “fat” isn’t looked upon with too generous of an eye, why would you want a jacket that makes you look that much bigger? It never really gets that cold in the city where you would need a goose down jacket to brave the elements. If you are going to shoot a documentary on penguins in Alaska I’m all for it, but if you are walking five blocks to work there are other options that won’t have you looking like someone from a rap music video.
Alternatives: Any normal coat. For extra warmth try a thicker wool coat, possibly with a fur (or faux fur) lining. A bit of layering never hurt anyone either!
5.) The Leather Trench Coat: Hey Morpheus the leather trench coat is no longer acceptable in the Matrix either. I was blown away when I saw someone wearing one of these on the subway this morning. Ever wonder what happens to those cows that are slaughtered for McDonald’s burger? They just hose it off, cut arm holes in it and tie the tail around the waist, resulting in a beautiful leather trench coat. So if you continue to wear this coat I’m going to ask that you sit your robot ass in the corner next to the dude from Grandma’s Boy.
Alternatives: A normal length leather jacket, or a normal trench that isn’t leather. I’m a personal fan of the Surface to Air x Justice jackets.
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, Duane Reade, Grandmas Boy, Hannibal Lecter, Jonah Hill, justice, Marc Jacobs, mcdonalds, Morpheus, Superbad, surface to air, The Matrix

The Blessed: Lipstick Jungle
READ MORE ABOUT: Anna Wintour, BASH, lipstick jungel, sex and the city

Laurend Conrad Poses for Playboy…Oh Wait…That’s Carmen Electra
Is this Lauren Conrad or Carmen Electra? Guess we’ll never know, due to the high amounts of photoshop.
Oh a side note, I want that playboy bunny garment (if you can call it that). I think it would go nicely with my Hugh Heffer blow up doll.
Thanks Scandalist for the pic
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, carmen electra, hugh hefner, Lauren Conrad, playboy, playboy bunny

Beth Ditto Makes ‘Big’ Mistake, Blames Food!
I actually have no issue with Beth Ditto’s weight, although I have a ‘huge’ issue with the ideas of matching your hair color with your shoe choice…
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, beth ditto

The Bashed: Ivana Trump and Star Jones
What do an ex daytime television diva and a woman that used to make expensive dirtiez to Donald Trumps crotch have in common? Both of them enjoy the fuzzy dead carcasses of woodland creatures. I personally think Ivana’s coat is made out of excess comb over sheddings from The Donald. She’s a very resourceful woman. I don’t know where Star got hers from but I’m sure she strangled and skinned the poor little defenseless rats all on her own-some cuz she’s a strong black woman. Don’t mess with Star-uh cuz you’se hoes might be next!
Don’t get me wrong, I hate PETA too…….I want them dead, I paid the people to destroy them but they haven’t finished the job, darn indecisive mormon terrorists! Heavy full on fur coats, however, ain’t cute so the 80’s IS pressing charges cuz they want their merchandise back. Fur is after all murder – FABULOUS MURDER *evil*! I know I personally want a fur coat made out of Brandy and Beyonce lace front wig weavins………….that’s only if anyone was wondering what to get me for ChrismaKwanzNukkah!
-Z’maji of HauteBlogXOXO
READ MORE ABOUT: BASH, Fur, ivana trump, peta, star jones










































