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GIRLS, Mens, THE BURNBOOK / February 18 2010 12:50 PM

A Letter to Richie Rich

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A Letter to Richie Rich

Dear Richie,

Please STOP! Just STOP! You have no talent, your look is soo dated, and your overall attempt at a fashion show was the worst thing I’ve seen since Perez Hilton tried to design wearable garments. Your front row was a joke, making people wait an hour for you to arrive is just plain rude, and then to showcase what you call ‘clothes’ on those you consider ‘models’ on what you consider a ‘runway’ was more painful then it was fun to watch. Not only did I feel dirty and had to go home right away to change my contact lenses, I also got a weave thrown at me by one of your male models, the fear of getting lice made me scream! Eww!

Using Pamela Anderson as a way to get people to attend your ‘event’ is a cheap trick, since she is just as much a has been as you! Her strut down the runway made me want to puke, then I realized you were right behind her on rollerskates which gave way for more uncontrollable bodily functions as I puked a bit in my mouth. You are NOT a designer, or a celebrity at that, you are NOT important, and if you fell off the face of the planet today (as you should do from embarrassment of what you presented to the public last night) you will NOT be missed! And if you choose to continue doing what it is that you do, please take us of your list, as we never want to even hear about your events in the future.

As Daniel Tweeted last night: ‘The real reason McQueen committed suicide, for fear of accidentally catching a glimpse of this show.’

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FASHION FAIL, RANDOM COOL SHIT, THE BURNBOOK / October 5 2009 1:58 PM

LOL: ‘Regretsy’ Bashes More Than We Do!

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LOL: Regretsy Bashes More Than We Do!

Regretsy is the newest member of the bash-things family..This user board prides itself in making fun of things they think are hideous on Etsy, and getting away with it by refusing to link to the original source…not like it’s hard to find custom Twilight painted converse…Google?

What do you guys think, is this funny, or just plain mean?

LINK LOVE: Jezebel

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THE BURNBOOK / January 7 2009 12:41 PM

The Bashed: BagTV

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The Bashed: BagTV

We all survived the mini backpacks and see-through bags; but if 2009 means purses with built-in TVs, I’d sooner buy a time machine.

Available in a variety of colors and materials, the $400 BagTV has a 7-inch TV screen, DVD and MPEG player with USB connectivity and 2.5-hour battery life

My immediate thought was concern that people would get mugged for these. But I’m pretty sure even the hardest criminal would be ashamed to even touch this.

Even I am limited in my ability to capture perfection with words. So here are the best quotes from the BagTV website, which hyphenates “hand-bag:”

  • “…enables the owner to literally watch Films/Videos…” (literally!!)
  • “Use at night in bars, and clubs to show off your latest photos, or favourite videos.” (You’re going home alone tonight from said bar or club)
  • “…doubles as a really useful bit of kit for the ladies to rival their boys toys!” (…bit of kit?)

From Style Frizz

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THE BURNBOOK / January 5 2009 1:58 PM

The Bashed: Wino

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The Bashed: Wino
Indies,  I wanted to start 09 off right by threatening your stomachs to unleash the lattes you had this morning.  Yes, Amy is on the beach giving unobstructed view of inadequate tiddiez and if that didn’t stoke the fires of your refinement,  she added in a crotch grab for no extra charge.  I feel so sad for those bikini bottoms,  I bet there’s all sorts of chum down there.  Don’t those sad little tiddiez make you remember when you were young and you’d look through the pages of National Geographic hoping to see a 3rd world breast but when you found it,  it was deflated and saggy but you were greatful to Jesus to see it anyhow?  I know you were looking too reprobates!  Now just so we’re clear,  this will NOT be the beach look for S/S 09′……………..I just want to make sure no one was confused.
- Z’maji of HauteBlogXOXO

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NEW FACES / January 5 2009 10:00 AM

Designer Discovery: Josh Goot

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Designer Discovery: Josh Goot

Designer Discovery: Josh Goot

Designer Discovery: Josh Goot

Designer Discovery: Josh Goot

Designer Discovery: Josh Goot

Working to blend both comfort and cutting-edge designs, Josh Goot isn’t stopping for anything as he quickly climbs the ranks to the top. It’s clear through the wide range of the label’s designs that these are creations, which will appeal to a wide range of people. The summer and spring collections take a walk on the fun and flirty side with loosely-fitted dresses and bright colors. On the other hand, the fall and winter collections speak to the fierce and independent woman. Using bold colors such as blacks, it’s clear that your dealing with a confident and stylish consumer.  The great thing about Josh Goot designs are that they push the limits without breaking the wearable boundary. These aren’t designs that sit by themselves while people stare in awe, they’re worn on the streets while people do so. This is clearly a label capable of making outfits for a variety of occasions and people, so no matter where you’re going or what you’re doing, go get one!

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THE BURNBOOK / January 1 2009 5:00 PM

The Bashed: Pre-Distressed Chucks

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The Bashed: Pre Distressed Chucks

Naturally distressed Converse sneakers are almost as sentimental as great grandma’s baked macaroni recipe passed down through several generations. The thing I love about seeing someone sporting a nice beat up pair of these kicks are the stories behind them…the tragic bleach spill at the laundromat, the pit bull who mistook the chucks for a steak, the mud pit at Lollapalooza. The stories are endlessly entertaining. So, why one earth would you buy Chucks that already have tears, stains and battered laces? Not only are you sacrificing the story behind the timeless sneaker, you resemble the loser who actually coughed up money for torn Abercrombie jeans! I despise this instant gratification era we live in and Converse is just feeding the flame by pre-beating their shoes. Really people, have some patience, take your time with a natural distressing process…Chucks aren’t going out of style anytime soon.

 

Thanks Arquivo Urbano!

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TRENDSPARK / January 1 2009 3:00 PM

Mary-Kate Olsen: A Walking, Talking, Breathing TrendSpark

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Mary Kate Olsen: A Walking, Talking, Breathing TrendSparkMary Kate Olsen: A Walking, Talking, Breathing TrendSparkMary Kate Olsen: A Walking, Talking, Breathing TrendSparkMary Kate Olsen: A Walking, Talking, Breathing TrendSparkMary Kate Olsen: A Walking, Talking, Breathing TrendSparkI’ll be honest with you, I envy Mary Kate Olsen. No, I’m not bitter that the girl was world famous for saying “you got it dude,” becoming a multi-millionaire before her first birthday. I’m not jealous of the fact that she has an equally successful identical twin sister who aids Mary Kate in pissing off PETA. I could care less that she had a fling with our handsome departed Heath Ledger. What I do covet, however, is this girl’s immaculate roll out of bed, get dressed in the dark, pile on mismatched accessories style and how well she pulls it off. 

People may poke fun at her style, saying she looks like an anorexic crack-head, but I love it. For some odd reason, the girl always looks disheveled, thrown together and homeless, but stunning, fashionable and worthy of Fashion Indie’s praise. I would like to consider Mary Kate the pioneer of the bohemian, mod-vintage look, a look that seems easy to pull off, but takes mastery that only this Olsen has. There is no denying that Mary Kate looks good in whatever she wears, with or without styled hair, rips or no rips, baggy or tight fitting. If only Mary Kate still attended NYU…I could hunt her down, grovel at her feet and ask her to teach me her ways. 

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