The Gay Jock, above all else, wants to assert his masculinity, often at the cost of taste, style, individuality, personality or wit. But at least all those hours at the gym will be on full display as their shirts come off at the merest hint of sunshine.

- A Boat Shoe. The Gay Jock has a puzzling affinity for flip-flops, perhaps because it reminds him of all that time spent (cruising) at the pool or beach, but a boat shoe provides better sailing and also spares society the sight of their manly, albeit totally pedicured, toes.

Paul Smith Hashberry Red Dip Dye Boat Shoes

- Frankie Morello Biker Shorts. Gay Jock can hang up those board shorts and wife beater for at least one day and instead opt for a dressier alternative as in Frankie Morello’s Spring 2012 men’s runway collection. Featuring blazers and vests paired carelessly with biker shorts, the shirt, as usual, will most likely be optional if not completely nonexistent.

Photo: The Fashionisto

- Dieux du Stade Calendar. Rugby players are the biggest badasses of all athletes. Not only do they not wear padding or helmets like those sissy NFL players, but they’re also not afraid of getting naked and fondling each other. Something the Gay Jock not only appreciates, but emulates whenever possible.

- ESPN Presents: Jock Jams Vol. 1. A masterwork in the field of mass-produced mixtapes, the first Jock Jams remains the best with such noted gay-fist-pumping classics as “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)”, both “Pump Up the Jam” and  “the Volume” as well as perennial man-love manifesto “Y.M.C.A.” There are enough hits from yester-queer to power your Gay Jock through his morning cardio and into his meth-laced partying all weekend.

- Devotion Protein-Infused Vodka. Between all those sports they’re allegedly playing and all that tail they’re inevitably chasing, the Gay Jock has to make the most of his time. So with Devotion’s protein-infused vodka, they can bulk up while getting fucked up — plus anything endorsed by the world’s foremost gay jock, The Situation, has got to be good.

1. Reiss Clairey Chain Detail Flat $175, reissonline.com

2. Tapeet Embellished Denim Sandals $163, theoutnet.com

3. Bernardo Jeweled Emilio Sandal $375, editnewyork.com

4. Topshop HUNK Tan Metal Chain Gladiator Sandals $60, us.topshop.com

5. Armani Exchange A|XX 20th Reptile Sandal $58, armaniexchange.com

6. Betsey Johnson Beckky Heart Flip Flop $69.95, betseyjohnson.com

7. Butter Arrow Fringe Thong Sandal $242, endless.com

8. Mossimo® Peita Flat Thong Sandals $22.99, target.com

9. Lilly Pulitzer Set in Stone Wedge Sandal $268, simplysoles.com

10. Antik Batik Akan Thong $225, calypsostbarth.com

What is your favorite pair of flip flops you use to beat the city heat?

The Hamptons is going to be swarming with the rich and fabulous. It is important that you always look posh and put together even if you’re getting plastered in the middle of the day. I recommend this Ben Minkoff weekender. It’s simple, durable, and can hold a champagne bottle or two. (And yes I know from experience.) One of your essentials should include a Ralph Lauren polo. (The staple of the prep wardrobe) An Orlebar Brown bathing suit is the way to go shorts wise. (Even if you’re not swimming you can wear these as shorts all day and look stylish.) Finally you’ll need a pair of  Sperry boat shoes. (Duh!) Don’t forget to bring a blazer just in case and daddy’s credit card.

The Jersey Shore is always a hot spot during the summer months and Memorial Day weekend is probably one of the craziest times it gets. As a Jersey native I have to say that  people were going to down the shore (As we Jerseyans put it) before Snooki and The Situation took over with a camera crew. That being said a Quiksilver duffle is what you want to pack. It can take a beating and be fulled to over capacity with all your weekend needs. While you’re at the beach or walking on the boardwalk these American Eagle shorts have both fashion and function without calling negative attention to whoever is wearing them. Speaking of the boardwalk you can stroll comfortably down it in these Ugg sandals. Lastly you’ll need something nice to impress at the club and an Armani Exchange dress shirt will do the trick. Just make sure you’re tan and party ready.

Fire Island is a major gay destination on the East Coast if you didn’t know. The island is known for it’s nonstop parties and debauchery. If you go this Rag & Bone bag says “I’m here, I’m queer, & I have taste: Get Used To It!”  I recommend packing light since it seems that many of the people running around are not in that much clothes. That’s why this Baskit trunk is totally appropriate. There are a lot of outdoor activities so go for a pack of American Apparel tanks so you have something light and simple that can transition from day to night. Finally I recommend these GAP flip flops:they’re inexpensive, versatile and perfect for a beach day. Remember to leave your heavy layers and inhibitions behind.

FREEWATERS

Problem: Over 3,000,000 people die every year from unsafe water, most under the age of 5. That’s more than die from war annually.

Mission: Your new expertly innovated flip flops = one year of clean drinking water for an individual in a poverty stricken rural community.

WARBY PARKER

Problem: 1. Glasses are way too expensive. 2. One billion people don’t have access to glasses. That means 15% of the world is unable to work and learn effectively because they cannot see clearly.

Mission: Buy a pair of vintage inspired glasses for $95, they give a pair to someone in need.

TOMS

Problem: Hundreds of millions of children are at risk of contracting STDs (soil transmitted diseases) from volcanic and chemically contaminated soil. These diseases are 100% preventable by wearing shoes.

Mission: For every pair of shoes you buy, they give a pair to a child in need. And they don’t stop giving after that child outgrows them.

SUR EVOLUTION

Problem: Artisans across the world do not have a proper marketplace for their work, and thus are living in poverty.

Mission: Empower artisans by selling their products at fair trade prices, using sustainable materials and, respecting nature and cultures.

ORGANIC SURGE

Problem: 1. Our toiletries contain a staggering amount of harsh chemicals. 2. There are a staggering number of children in Africa living in poverty.

Mission: Proceeds from range of chemical-free beauty products goes to providing emotional and financial aid to vulnerable children in Africa.

Now, I have never considered myself a gentleman — usually a lady, more often a tramp — but in reading Ford’s “5 easy lessons on how to be a modern gentleman” for An0ther Magazine,  I realized that I’ll probably never be a gentleman. Not because I’m sartorially challenged, but mostly because I’m kind of an asshole.

Photo: AnOther Mag

1. You should put on the best version of yourself when you go out in the world because that is a show of respect to the other people around you.

Okay, I can support this first rule. I don’t actually respect anyone, though —  I just enjoy my version of self being noticeably better than everyone else’s.

2. A gentleman today has to work. People who do not work are so boring and are usually bored. You have to be passionate, you have to be engaged and you have to be contributing to the world.

I’m a Fashion Blogger, which I guess one could consider work. Sure, this “work” usually involves making snarky commentary on fashion, drinking at press events and keeping one step ahead of the feds, but, hey…it pays the bills.

3. Manners are very important and actually knowing when things are appropriate. I always open doors for women, I carry their coat, I make sure that they’re walking on the inside of the street. Stand up when people arrive at and leave the dinner table.

I mean, fuck that. I’m all for being polite and shit, but only to the point where it doesn’t inconvenience me in any way, shape or form. At the end of the day, though, Good Samaritan Laws exist for people like me — who’d sooner chew off their own arm then offer someone a seat on the subway.

4. Don’t be pretentious or racist or sexist or judge people by their background.

Yeah, okay, then why work in fashion? Next!

5. A man should never wear shorts in the city. Flip-flops and shorts in the city are never appropriate. Shorts should only be worn on the tennis court or on the beach.

Okay, I can definitely agree on the flip-flops, but I dare you to find me wearing a hem that falls below my upper thigh come early June. These gams are meant for public consumption, thank you. I do, however, completely object to board shorts, baggy jean shorts or any short that could be mistaken for pants.

I guess being a gentleman is more than just dressing the part and perhaps we can all take a page out of Tom Ford’s book of etiquette. But that would involve constantly striving to be a better person and I am just suh-WAMPED these days. I’ll consider opening doors for women but unless they intend to tip me…I do not hold coats.

Link Love: AnOther Man

Sally Singer‘s T Magazine declares that this “multistrapped mid-’80s fashion disaster beloved by Deadheads in dreads, is having a moment.” There are at least 5 things wrong with that sentence so would it be possible to end this moment before it even starts?

Apparently Lanvin (left Alber, what were you thinking?), Bottega Veneta (center) and Richard Chai (right) all showed them on their spring runways. So with the coming warm weather also comes the threat of seeing people’s gross feet on the subway…

The New York City subway…

In flip-flops…

Why not just walk barefoot through a pile of hypodermic needles? It’s the same experience. So, gentlemen, before subjecting your feet and the world to Teva torture, perhaps consider a slip-on? An espadrille? A casual man-heel?

Photos: GQ

Ace Hotel has been on a major roll with their line of collaborations. First Butt Magazine, then Opening Ceremony and now the destination for stylish travelers everywhere has partnered with Havaianas to create the perfect summer flip-flops.

The Limited Edition footwear will be available in Ace Hotel Mini-bars and can be purchased for $22. You can also grab a pair online at www.us.havaianas.com.The flips are black & white and feature the hotels signature coyote mascot pin.

Vicky Beckham isn’t afraid of getting her feet wet, she hung with her kids on a lazy afternoon wearing ripped denim, a black tank, and (for the first time) flip flops.

Image via Just Jared

The Daily News tested some of their own flops for germs and found more than fecal matter, but boil-causing bacteria.

Want to know more? Are you sure? Click here.

So these are flip flops, made by Krispy Kreme, that have real grass in them, supposedly made to resemble the feeling of walking on grass at a park. Handed out to ‘stressed-out’ London commuters, each shoe contain around 5,00 blades of grass, which needs to be watered (yes watered) in order for them to last as long as 4 month. Also, the grass needs to be ‘mown’ in order for them to not overgrow. Yes, all of this is odd, but they do sound sort of comfy.

Thanks Shoewawa for pointing these out.