Luckily this is all just for an editorial and has absolutely no resemblance to Karl Lagerfeld’s actual existence, which I think still takes place in a Transylvanian castle where even the most intrepid of travelers fear to tread.

Further proving my point, Uncle Karl’s take on grocery shopping: “It’s the first time I’ve stepped into a supermarket. It’s crazy — fascinating what one can buy. There’s enough here to easily gain 20 kilos.”

By someone used to getting his food mama-birded to him by Baptiste Giabiconi, food shopping would be an awkward experience. Much like driving: “I haven’t driven since I was 18, and that’s a benefit to society because I ended up in a ditch, without knowing why!”

To be fair, however, it was the 1800s and no one had invented paved roads yet. [WWD]

- Karl Lagerfeld, because he has a few spare seconds on his hands, will draw political cartoons for French Elle. [WWD]

- Who wants to see drunk celebrities making out in Vanity Fair‘s Oscars Photo Booth? Note that Diddy chose to go it alone since he and his ego have been in a committed relationship for the better part of a decade. [Vanity Fair]

- A recent study proposed that putting laws into effect that would ban images of super thin women might be worthwhile, i.e. monetarily sound. [Styleite]

- Feds in New Jersey uncovered one of the largest counterfeit rings ever to fake its way through America, to the tune of over $300 million. [HuffPo]

- Topshop Unique‘s “Cleopatra” collection, despite being critically-maligned, is the biggest and fastest selling Unique collection ever thanks in large parts to celebrities like Rihanna wearing it out and about town. [Telegraph]

- Martha Stewart‘s dog won best breed at the Westminster Kennel Club‘s annual dog show. Let’s hope that winning streak translates to court. [Styleite]

- French Elle has dubbed plus-sized model Tara Lynn as “The Body.” Big girls are officially shutting it down – take a note. [Huff Po]

- Hours before Whitney Houston‘s death and before she was called on to do a tribute performance at the Grammys, Jennifer Hudson was extolling the virtues of her American idol. [Refinery29]

- While we may have lost Whitney, Ashanti‘s still around as she made glaringly — and desperately — clear at some rando fashion show this New York Fashion Week. [Huff Po]

- White Collar‘s Matt Bomer is a gay. And adding that to my list of “Things I’ve Rolled My Eyes at Today.” [THR]

The story mused over her beginnings, from the 90s assistantship at French Elle, Fashion Editor jobs at 20 Ans and Mixte, then her decade at French Vogue. They compared soundbites from Emmanuelle to quotes from Carine – it’s a little bit of who said it best. Though the Daily promises to answer under the radar questions, they were never really able to ask them. It’s mostly research and speculation. It was entertaining, but I’d really love the actual lowdown of what’s going on in her mind and at French Vogue.

Photo by Jessica Lapidos

Plus size model Tara Lynn (was also featured in the V Magazine plus size issue ) hits the cover of French Elle.

LINK LOVE: MadisonPlus

Scar Jo goes dark for French Elle June 09.

LINKAGE: ICYDK