[Above: Purple Gameboy plaforms]

Nothing says I’m a naughty gamer like purple platforms with tadpole-like fringe. Rumor has it you must own at least three Hello Kitty jeggings to buy this pair.

Is that a loafer cell with 90s earbuds? Looks like T-Mobile. (Ew.) Probably gets better reception than my iPhone though. (Damn you AT&T.)

Barring the Pokemon figurine and hideous video-game cubby, you could almost make a case for tolerable. But no.

Hightop sneaks with built-in CD player would be a hit. If it weren’t 2011. Where’s the mp3 player, playa?

These Nike hightops made entirely from computer parts get my internal processor buzzing. But I’m afraid the comfort level is a system fail.

Sister to the hightops above – electronics-made heel accompanied by cute bow tie. I’d pay $5 to smash them to pieces with a hammer.

You must look closely to see what’s really going on here. That’s a dual speaker with built-in bass; comes equipped with volume control, power adapter, and a whole lot of “punch me in the face because I’m a loser.”

Bedbugs suck the blood of humans as they sleep. They scuttle. They scamper. And they hide in dark, unsuspecting places waiting to jump out and scare you, so you drop a fresh bowl of Easy-Mac all over your new pajamas. Ahhrg.

Bedbug complaints rose 7 percent in 2010 — and those are only reported cases. (It’s rather unfashionable to admit you have dirty bugs crawling about your home.) So what’s the pest outlook for 2011?

According to bedbug experts, “Each year it’s always a little worse.” In other words, batten down the exterminator hatches — 2011′s gonna be brimming with bedbugs.

Link Love: WSJ

Shooting down evil sperm, combating crabs, and taking down STD’s all while wearing a condom hat. It’s not Pamela Anderson’s ultimate nightmare, it’s a new game for XBOX 360 called Privates. Prepare to be nauseated.

So the premise is simple, you play as a team of condom men whose only responsibility is to tackle mean faced spermies and other sexually transmitted diseases INSIDE OF A VAGINA!!! Gross. To find out more about the slippery adventures of the condom men, click here.

Last night, our pup Oxycotton Tail ate an insane amount of chocolate covered expresso beans. She then threw up and insane amount of half ingested chocolate covered expresso beans. Girl knows how keep thin before fashion week.

So this is basically ACNE PAPER’s either shooting the same artsy fashion shots their known for or they have really jumped the curve and are now shooting porn. It’s either a push the limits spread with gratuitous dick or this has been reshot by a dude who’s reading it while jerking his flesh flute. If it’s the first, then Acne Paper is officially genius. You’ve been warned!!!