[Bangkok, March 20. Image via AP.]

LINKAGE: What A Tangled Web Of A Weave [Snap Judgment]

You know what really upsets me? People who take an awesome new trend and shit all over it. I was wearing headbands before the hippie wannabes came along, and now everyone in Ugg boots and their grandmothers have them. Remember owl necklaces? I got the coolest one at an old lady thrift store four years ago and wore it all the time. That is until they were mass produced, and I wished for a real one to eat my eyeballs.

…And now they are crapping all over hair pieces. What the hell were these ladies thinking with the hats? I feel the need to grab my knickers from the back of my closet, hire some backup dancers and perform “Yankee Doodle Dandy” in historic colonial Williamsburg, VA. Don’t get me wrong, I love hats. And I love feathers on hats. But turning a cute trend into a “Pirates of the Caribbean” remix is uncalled for.

Thanks Fabulousness

When I hear the phrase head gear, I think of the awful contraption I wore as an adolescent to realign my jaw. Thankfully, designers this season make head gear look much more fashionable than a rubber strap and two metal prongs. The Junya Watanabe, Louis Vuitton, Marc Jacobs and Nathan Jenden are a few runways that were full of outrageously daring head pieces. Some were simply adorned with feathers while others had structural objects towering a foot above the hairline. The trickle down effect has already come into play, and toned-down versions of these pieces can be found virtually anywhere. There are also the feathery accessories we’ve been seeing everywhere.  I know what I’m wearing out tonight, and it has nothing to do with straightening my teeth.