My sister, the ultimate Twilight fan, sent me a link to this silly little picture. I’m sorry, but I think Robert Pattinson is really hot, and I think this guy is really NOT. I guess if the Twilight characters were emo, they’d look a little like this.

Get ‘New Moon’ gear at Hot Topic (you too can impersonate Edward and Bella)

LINK LOVE: Twilight Lexicon

I know that guys wearing girls clothes is a huge trend right now, and has been a huge trend for a long time. I know tons of guys that wear girls jeans (I have a friend who stole a pair of my jeans…a guy friend),  and sure, there are still guys out there that think they look better in eyeliner than I do, but really Adam Lambert?  Performance calls for different attire than a regular day, and I know he wants to look like a real “rock star,” but I’m sorry, I can’t get over those mud-colored platform boots. And metal angel wings (or whatever the hell those are)? He’s been said to be the male-version of Lady Gaga, but this look really isn’t new. Just go to a suburban mall and wait outside of Hot Topic, or a nightclub on Industrial Night.  Sorry if you love this look, as I’m sure many girls, and guys, will soon have his posters plastered all over their walls.  I’ll admit the one on the left isn’t that bad, but I am not too crazy about a guy that spends more time getting ready, and getting into his flared (ew)  jeans, than I do.

SOURCE: New York Fashion

Oh, Hot Topic.

The only good part about this black patent stiletto (with built-in bottle opener) is that you have to be really skilled to be able to use it without flashing everyone at the party. If you can pull that off, you deserve to wear whatever you want.  Ug, circular logic, perhaps, but I felt the need to justify the existence of these shoes. I just feel so bad for whoever will spend $40 on these.

I am speechless. Raf Simons and Doc Marten took my favorite warm weather kick, the gladiator sandal, and turned it into a complete fashion fail. First and foremost, the idea of men wearing gladiator sandals is less than appealing, let alone men in gladiator sandals with a chunky rubber sole, paten-leather straps and tie-up shoelaces. This collaboration is a gothic mess and seems like it should appear on the shelves of Hot Topic, cheaply constructed by some no name designer, rather than a work partially designed by Raf Simons. Honestly, if I see any guy wearing these shoes come springtime, I will undoubtedly push him into oncoming traffic.

Thanks Pipeline!

Get rid of that American Apparel white tee, and head to Hot Topic for some fishnets…

No more white tees or tanks under pieces that might be too revealing, Fall 09 will be the return of the fishnets. And I don’t mean the kind hookers wear on their legs,  I mean the long sleeve shirt kind.

Take a look at the Fall 09 show of Nathan Jenden for a take on this trend.

IMAGES: Style

Signs that Richie Rich might be officially done.

1. He’s releasing an album (also see; Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Heidi Montag)

2. He’s releasing an accessories line (also see; Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Heidi Montag)

It’s so sad to see a fairly talentless designer continue to be fairly talentless. I was expecting more from Richie after the Heatherette split, but it seems the aging twink is just gonna try to grasp onto whatever few opportunities are left for him.

He’s launching his first compilation album called Only Play This at Gay Raves Celebutante, which will include music by Richie, Madonna, the Scissor Sisters, Lil Mama and other butt play friendly artists. And he will be designing a line for utterly uncool mall store, Hot Topic.  So basically, he’s completely out of cash and might be starved for a few remaining deals before the shine of fame diminishes from his baby blues.

Additionally, Richie is releasing a shoe line (also see; diluting his brand image) called Rox & Riley which was rumored to be a collabo with Hilfiger’s less rich sibling.

Oh, Richie, so many projects, so few people who actually care.

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=03JTifYCs7E[/youtube]

Scenes from happier days with Perez Hilton, you know when his collection didn’t crash and burn. I’m sure there is a Hot Topic exec kicking himself in the ass right now for picking up that phone call.

Yeah, one graphic on t-shirts, bags and flip flops and these glasses by Kanye West.

By now we all know about Perez Hilton’s clothing line. The collection that included blog flip flops appears to be a major flop.  Perez Hilton decided to make an appearance at an LA Hot Topic to great his fans and sell some goods.  Apparently, no one came. An employee from the store reported what really went down the day of the event.

ONLY 7 people showed up. SEVEN.That’s it. Mario was BEYOND upset texting and DEMENDING the right water, food, ETC he was a rude royal pain in the ass and BEYOND crass… My manager was trying to get people to come in to meet Perez by handing out $5 gift cards NO ONE WANTED TO MEET HIM! …he left around 8:45PM without saying goodbye to anyone & looked like he had been crying like the little bitch he is. We sold a grand total of $6.45 of Perez Hilton items between 6PM – 9PM. My manager has already talked about discounting his ‘line’ !”

This is seriously the greatest story I’ve written, ever. I’ve never felt so great reporting on a story.

Seriously, Hot Topic?  Did you honestly think this line would sell?  You’re regular customer is a self hating emo kid who thinks they are being “different” by wearing you mass produced goods. The idea that a middle aged doucher who mainly talks to sad housewives and chubby gays looking for a midday break from their work day could create a collection your customers might buy is idiotic. I hope a shit load of people get fired at Hot Topic this week.

Also, if anyone has video of Perez Hilton crying at Hot Topic or his appearance there, I want it. It’s totally the new porno.

We know where this is heading.

It starts with Daddy staying a little too late at work with his new secretary. Then mommy’s crying in the bathroom with a bottle of gin. And pretty soon you have two Christmas’ and a slew of step brothers who like playing “Hide the Inhaler” when you come over.

The break up is so eminent. Richie Rich has signed with shit maker Hot Topic to create a line of clothing without Heatherette.

“He didn’t want to do it,” sighs Richie. “They asked Heatherette to do it initially, but Traver said no, so I was like, well I’ll do it! I love Hot Topic!”

The line will hit the retailer in the near future and should fit well with equally crappy goods from Perez Hilton and Avril Levine.

Dammit Richie, we wanted to like you but this is unforgivable. Hot Topic is where emos go to die!!!

Perez Hilton is releasing a line with Hot Topic. Metromix met up with the blogger to talk about his new line. He basically bashed Lauren Conrad’s collection and says his is better cause it’s wearable and cheap (also see made my Chinese children in sweatshops). Alright, I won’t suddenly proclaim my love for Lauren’s trash, but it’s surely better than this fucking shit pile of steaming vomit inducing hoodies and accessories.

I especially enjoy the idea that he believes that people will want to wear his collection cause it defines what his readers want.  If this is true then Perez’s audience is filled with idiotic TRL watching 16 year olds from the 1990’s.

Included in the mix of “fashions” are rubber bands and notebooks.  Oh god, this has got to be the worst thing to ever happen in the world of collaborations. Hot Topic, listen up, drop this line before it causes even more people to turn their back on your collections. Hire a real designer to revitalize your currently shitty offering and get off the Perez bandwagon.

If you need it, I can make a list of about a dozen indies out there who can do a better job than Perez’s half assed attempt at fashion.

You too can look like this. I bet you’re excited. 

Oh, God! First the Paris Hilton Doll and now this.

Further proving that Hot Topic is the least relevant of fast retailers, the chain of mall stores (I believe they only exist in Middle America) are signing on gossip columnist/posterboy for late term abortions, Perez Hilton, for a collection of shitty tees, flip-flops and other completely undesirable items for their creatively titled “Perez Hilton for Hot Topic” line.  The collection will include Perezcious Pink and Gossip Gangster inspired items.

“It seems natural to make products that my readers will love and hopefully some guys will rock it too,” Perez said in a statement on Tuesday. “Some people might even call me a perfectionist (such perfection in drawing coke lines on celebrity pictures), well that person would be me! I’m very passionate about my brand. I have extremely high standards and I like to get my hands dirty!”“I’m most excited to finally see on the shelves products that are good and affordable for my readers. I actively sought out Hot Topic for that reason.”

“I keep seeing these lines from the likes of Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag that give me nightmares,” he says. “My brand will be very conscious of my audience.”

Hears a little SAT prep for you. Lauren Conrad’s fashion line is to nightmares, as Perez Hilton’s fashion line is to _______ .

If you said “being gang raped by a pack of wild, rabies infected gibbons covered in month old fecal mater and then taking a sawed off shotgun to the forehead when you discover two weeks later you are pregnant with one of their demon spawn, oh yeah, and you’re a man” then you are correct.

I know none of the readers of this site would be caught dead in a Hot Topic (and that’s why we love you) but it is extremely important to encourage others to stay farther away from this collection than you would from Perez’s downwind. A mean breath of this collection may lead people to think you’re a flamingly gay, ignorant failed actor with homophobic tendencies and bad hair who wishes for a day when his penis isn’t lodged between two massive rolls of fat.

Stay away from this like the plague. It wouldn’t even be funny if you bought the collection to be “ironic”. A sale is a sale and Perez Hilton is not smart enough to realize when people are buying his stuff to be dicks.