House of Beyonkey Donkey

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

Beyonce is peddlin’ dresses for House of Dereon, but all I saw was caramel colored ‘thank ya Jesus’, packed into chiffon. I know many people have their reservations about Beyonkey Donkey and her maternal unit’s ideas about fashion but if these ads are any indication of what’s to come, I’d say we should get something that you could at least wear to a formal hoe-down or a pig sloppin’. OH-Paaaaa, I kid. Honestly, the two pieces presented in the ad are quite lovely and Dereon definitely has some restitution to perform for past offenses that shall remain nameless *cough* polyester nightie dress with lace trim *cough*

I still say that we should give ol’ McJiggleYums a chance………………..ahhhhh, JiggleYums *gurgling & incoherent*

- Z’maji of HauteBlogXOXO

Street Zero: Solange

Edited by Princess Glover

Somebody please give this girl a clue. I’ve got nothing against Bey’s little sis; I’m even feeling her new retro-inspired video for “I Decided”. But it seems everywhere I turn, Solange Knowles is committing some serious crimes of fashion. Her wardrobe choices of late lack a natural, spontaneous quality and generally don’t do her much justice. Something is always off kilter, whether it’s disproportionate, ill fitting, overwhelming or just doesn’t make sense. Either she’s trying too hard or not hard enough, and the poor thing just can’t seem to get it right. Here are some words of wisdom I think will ensure that her attempts at looking stylish/edgy/like you give a damn garners cheers, not jeers:

1. Check your stylist’s credentials before you pay her to send you down the red carpet in some repugnant, inexplicable getup.

2. Don’t take fashion advice from big sis. House of Dereon, anyone?

3. Get a 360-degree mirror a la What Not To Wear; you can’t go wrong.

4. Give the curly weaves a rest. It looks as feigned as your sense of style.

5. Understand that just because something doesn’t match it doesn’t mean it goes. And just because something matches doesn’t mean it goes.

I Don’t Think They’re Ready for this Jelly

Edited by Saynt

Everyone seems to be freaking the fuck out about these snaps from the House of Dereon’s new kids collection. Apparently someone doesn’t think “fuck me” pumps and five year olds mix. Personally, I don’t think this message is to far off from the one we’ve been promoting on the Disney Channel or in tabloid media. Women are discovering at a much younger age the need to be “sexualized”. Yes, it is disgusting, but like the Miley Cyrus backlash, this is just another attempt to place blame in the wrong direction. Should you be pissed at Beyonce’s momma for hawking this shit, or at the idiots who buy it for their kids?

Personally, while I do think the collection is extremely tacky, I don’t see anything wrong with heels on little girls. What girl or boy hasn’t attempted to walk in their mom’s heels (It was once, I was 6, and had it not been caught on tape it probably wouldn’t have been as big as a deal as it has become. Especially, love it when Mama Saynt shows it to my prospective love interests. Nothing says question your boyfriend’s sexuality faster than a video of him strutting in stilletoes. Thanks mom.)? Regardless, I think it’s weird to see girls at such a young age in heels, skinny jeans, and make-up, but isn’t this how children are displayed on shows like The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Hanna Montana, and High School Musical?

Where should we draw the line when it comes to decency amongst children? Oh, yeah at home. If you don’t want your kids looking like tramps, don’t buy it, but quit being such a mom blogger and freaking out about it on the web, it’s annoying and know one cares about you flipping opinion.

Yeah, this seems bad, but it could be a lot, lot worse..

Apple Bottoms for babies?