All Entries Tagged With: "Hipster"

How To Look Hipster

Living in the Greenwich Village/ SoHo area never ceases to amaze me. Amazing speciality boutiques line the cobblestone streets. Eclectic art galleries display their masterpieces through open windows. The aroma of diverse coffee beans engulf the air around you. Out of everything the area has to offer, I am particularly intrigued by the people. But let it be known, just because you are in an edgy part of the city doesn’t mean you can escape the increasingly mainstream “hipster” trend. Hipsters are everywhere, the contemporary subculture who takes it upon themselves to deem what is “cool” in fashion and free time. Well, I hate to break it to them, but hipsters wouldn’t know “cool” if it bit them on the ass. Here are the elements of a hipster…in moderation, pretty neat…together, hipster scum: 

White Converse Sneakers: You cannot possibly call yourself a hipster without owning a pair of these. Worn in, loved Converse are preferred.

Levi's 511 Skinny Jeans: Giving young men the legs of a 10 year old, one pant-leg at a time!

Solid V-Neck T's: Preferably in odd colors like lilac purple or vomit green. Layer them, the more v-necks, the more hipster you are!

American Apparel Hoodies: Own one in every color so you can match your v-necks! Want to look mysterious and contemplative? Easy! Put the hood up!

Member's Only Jackets: For the cold days, you need a solid color, lack luster jacket to match your actual, un-hipster tainted personality.

Calculator Watch: They look like they are straight out of the 80's...and they make you look smart!

Nerd Glasses: Wear them 24/7...even if you have 20/20 vision! It is imperative that they are bigger than your face.

Organic Food: Show the world that you are zen with your body. Eat all-natural, organic product! Better yet, go vegeterian...or vegan if you dare!

Drink Olde English: 40oz beers are all the go...throw the nifty glass bottle in a paper bag and nobody has to know you're drinking your little hipster problems away!

Here’s a few more tips if you’re headed down a path of hipster hell. Carry around a small notebook. That way, people will know you are a thoughtful soul with a knack for English prose. Attend art museums. Stare at paintings with your jaw gaping wide open, even if you don’t understand the artist’s aesthetic. Remember, being hipster is all about image. If you look hipster cool, then you are hipster cool. So wear your skinny jeans. Hide the bags under your eyes with enormous dorky glasses. Pretend you are infatuated with art and the visual beauties this world has to offer. Hipsters are actors…and they’re pretty damn bad at it. 

Last Night: The Teenagers Take On NYC

I’m Over It: Librarian Chic

Let’s just say someone shit in my cornflakes this morning, cause there are a couple of looks that I am officially over.

Hipster librarian was one look I thoroughly endorsed, being sure to pay extra attention to girls rocking it, offering to buy them drinks, telling them how smart/hot they looked, and quoting random lines from 18th century poetry that I knew they’d remember from their Lit. 101 classes at community college. Well enough is enough. This look has over stayed it’s welcome and is quickly morphing into the default of sexy intellectuals everywhere to the mainstay of hotties who want to appear like they have more than two brain cells dancing around in their head.

It’s extremely disheartening when you spot a sexy hipster librarian and assume that you’ll be able to engage in a conversation only to discover that your talking to some cracked out coke addict with bulemia breath who’s only wearing nerd shades to appear interesting.

So indies, I’m over it and hopefully you will be too so that we can return balance in the nerd/nerd wannabe universe.

Daughter of Style: Lou Doillon

TrendSpark: Hipsters Wearing Crocs

Goddamnit!!! I was afraid this might happen. I haven’t been on The Cobra Snake for sometime but today I jumped on to check out some photos from recent events I’m not cool enough to get invited to. Anywho, aside from being shocked by the unforgiving amounts of Henry Holland candids, I spotted the photo above in one of the galleries. Why hipster scum, why?!? There is no need to support Crocs. They are ugly little monsters that make you look like a complete fly-over state reject. Please, do not copy this trend. No one needs to support Crocs rise. 

Wait. Just realized something. Crocs are to the Millennium, as Sketchers are to the 90’s.  Damn, that’s a scary thought. On a side note, isn’t it time Sketchers got cool again, eh?

How To Look Hipster: Wear Tees From CTRL

Noisy patterns, check. Eighties thematics, check. Tees emblazoned with ironic, nonsensical phrases, check. Usually I’m impressed with the way European labels somehow manage to exude an air of distinctiveness, but this one strikes me as contrived. Along with your fundamental hoodies, tees, tights, and tanks, they also design skateboards so that one can thoroughly complete the poseur ensemble. The “exotic, awesome, dark” lookbook is basically a manual on how to look tragically hipster and unabashedly trendy without really knowing it. Everything intentionally clashes with everything, compulsive layering is widespread, and the pieces themselves are as just about as original as a forearm tattoo.