There is something about fur on guys that never really looks right, and I think that unless it’s a rare occasion men in general shouldn’t be wearing fur. So when it comes to fur rimmed hoods I am beginning to form a deep hatred for the fashion statement. First and foremost the fur doesn’t even keep you warm, and to top it off 99% of the jackets with a fur rimmed hood aren’t even real fur. I think that the only appropriate time to wear a jacket like this is if you are performing in some sort of dog sled race or if you’re skiing, other than that there is no need for fur. I don’t think I need to continue my rant, but this is a trend that needs to just die.

You know what really upsets me? People who take an awesome new trend and shit all over it. I was wearing headbands before the hippie wannabes came along, and now everyone in Ugg boots and their grandmothers have them. Remember owl necklaces? I got the coolest one at an old lady thrift store four years ago and wore it all the time. That is until they were mass produced, and I wished for a real one to eat my eyeballs.

…And now they are crapping all over hair pieces. What the hell were these ladies thinking with the hats? I feel the need to grab my knickers from the back of my closet, hire some backup dancers and perform “Yankee Doodle Dandy” in historic colonial Williamsburg, VA. Don’t get me wrong, I love hats. And I love feathers on hats. But turning a cute trend into a “Pirates of the Caribbean” remix is uncalled for.

Thanks Fabulousness

Yeah, That's What's Happening...

I’m totally over this economy. Honestly it’s very taxing on me. Not only as a journalist who is required to write about the latest in fashion (not easy to do when the only news is bad news) but also as a business man who is in the process of creating a fashion empire that will rival Vogue. Now thinking that the current financial situation might make such mainstays tumble freaks me the fuck out and makes me wish for a better outcome than what’s undoubtingly going to happen.

To say we’re going to be affected is an understatement. This is going to rock the fashion world. Even the most posh designers and editors are going to shit their pants when this is all said and done. Fashion week will be the first showing of how effected the industry will be. You’ll have designers who just won’t show up to the party and some that will cut costs by showcasing videos or staging presentations with manaquins and then all these models will have reason not to eat, lack of income.

I’m one for oppulence. I live to talk about out of reason fashions and $15,000 Louis Vuitton luggage sets. I can’t take another second of this economy another minute in which my old designer friend calls me up to call it quits. I hope this passes quickly cause once you’ve donated your life to parties featuring rock stars and coked out trust funders it’s hard to turn back. So basically start spending cash again quick and be sure to buy local, I have a couple of buddies who have to fund their thread groupies drug addictions.

And if swimming in excess fabric weren’t bad enough, swimming in excess designer fabric is worse! Ok, cool, you’ve got a $800 Zac Posen blazer, but who in their right mind would make such an investment on a size 10 if you wear a size 2! The Olsen twins may have the money to throw around for their XL attire, but at the end of the day, fitted is more professional, more elegant and more chic! So, go give that 3XL tee of yours to that homeless family to sleep in. 

Thanks Fashionista!

Their rhymes are weak. Their style sucks. And they can’t dance for shit.

Why are they becoming popular?

Oh, yeah cause people are fucking stupid and easily fall for a gimmick.

The Jazzy Jeff/Pre-Million Dollar Movie Deal Will Smith look was never cool. These guys haven’t even attempted to make the look interesting by updating it. It looks like they just watched a full season of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and photocopied everything they saw. You’re not the new hipster, you’re not even close to being a blipster and I refuse to consider your shitty attempt to rehash the 90′s it’s own style category other than Napper (Nerd + Rapper = Nappers) because you are seriously putting us all to sleep. What’s so annoying is that this was purposely started. I’m sure it was a conversation at some Billyburg Salvation Army that got these boys talking about wearing 90′s retro wear and now they’re doing it and stinking up the streets with their visual vomit endouching style.

I’m starting to miss the good old days of rap, when cocaine and heroine dealers like Jay Z and Biggie Smalls ran the streets of Brooklyn. Now with all the white kids moving in we get vanilla flavored attempt at gansta.

So let it be known far and wide. The Retro Kids = Nappers. Kids that dress like they tripped into Kid n Play’s closet = Nappers. The Fresh Prince’s of Brooklyn = Nappers.

And I fucking hate Nappers.

I keep seeing images of Selma Blair and Molly Shannon from their new series Kath & Kim.  I’ve never found Selma Blair interesting, but I was excited when I heard Patricia Field was doing wardrobe for a new show — until I saw the pictures. I haven’t seen it or its British counterpart, nor do I plan to.  

I get it, they’re dysfunctional, quirky, zany, kooky, suburban, etc.  

Generally I LOVE British comedies.  But this seems like Absolutely Fabulous all over again.  I tried to like the show.  Really.  I’m sure someone will freak out when they read this.  I’ll give it another chance, though; it’s been a few years.  Maybe I was too young to “get” it.  But I remember the clothes.  I guess I can get all the skanky irony and humor of wearing such outfits.  But … I just can’t get behind this.  It’s all a little played out, and I prefer creativity over kitschy.  

P.S.  Did Kath & Kim even make it past its first episode?

“Might as well be a bullseye.” The quote was made popular by hilarious movie Wedding Crashers, but this terrible tattoo location has been popular for far too long. If you’re not positive of the exact definition of a tramp stamp, allow me to enlighten you with my own take on the phrase:

“>

1.) It must be placed on the lower back. The middle of the tattoo hits the spine, and the rest usually fits between the love handles.

2.) The tattoo’s design frequently has no intelligent meaning. It’s mostly a gross object (heart, butterfly, fairy etc.) placed in the middle of two lines of scribble.

At times, the tattoo is not done well. This is caused by the snowball effect: the artist thinks it’s ridiculous, is laughing uncontrollably and, in turn, probably has a shaky hand.

Tramp stamps are the tattoo equivalent to MTV’s spring break in Cancun. You did it when you were young, stupid and severely intoxicated. But what to think when you see a middle-aged man driving a car with a holographic pink tramp stamp on the bumper? Is it a mid-life crisis or the castration of a pushover dad on his daughter’s 16 birthday? Why don’t you be the judge; I am too over it to think.

Thanks to Caitlin Prarat’s Canon 40D for the epic car photo

http://caitlinprarat.synthasite.com/

The Fanta Girls

TLC

3LW

The Spice Girls

Destiny's Child

The Cheetah Girls

The Pussycat Dolls

The Saturdays

Please ladies, the love is beautiful and all, but leave the matchy matchy up to identical twins, the junior class powderpuff football team or a dance group on America’s Best Dance Crew!

The new Citroen 2CV by Hermes

Louis Vuitton Vespa

Volkswagon Beetle for Barney's NYC

Louis Vuitton car

Bugatti by Hermes

On Monday Rebecca wrote about how she wanted the new Fiat 500 by Diesel, well after two more designer/fashion inspired cars were spotted today, I am officially over this lame trend. The new Hermes Citroen 2CV and the Volkswagon Beetle for Barney’s are pretty damn lame if you ask me. As if the orginal car isn’t expensive enough (with the exception of the VW) now you have to pay the added super premium price to have the left over fabric from an old Hermes line stiched over the seats. The only really cool vehicle I see here is the Louis Vuitton Vespa, mostly because you can actually see the signiture monogram print. If you like Hermes or Diesel enough to buy their collaboration cars, save your money on the car and spend it on their clothes where it should be spent in the first place.

Thanks to Selectism for the images.

There is nothing more annoying than coming home from work and discovering that someone or something has ruined your stuff. The dog ripped your leather bag to shreds, the cat tore the couch cushions apart or water leaked into your closet and ruined five pairs of your shoes (yes, this happened to me two weeks ago). Some of these incidents cannot be avoided due to animal instinct or old apartment buildings. But in certain situations, a bit of careful thought goes a long way to prevent the after-work-oh-fuck mishap. I’m sure you’ve all heard of the Bedazzler. Referred to as “the hottest craft item in America” on MyBedazzler.com, this thing can do some serious damage. I would know because I had one, and I used it without mercy. Anything left out in the war zone was free game for mass destruction- canvas shoes, leather jackets, stuffed animals, silk ties and even dirty socks. I had a denim hat that was so Bedazzled, it weighed 7 pounds and gave me migraines. Luckily, this phase wore off and my family’s possessions are finally safe. But I see grown women, men and campus students who are going though the same horrors and turmoil my kin once experienced. Their shining beacons of studded denim jackets, handbags and hats stands as a warning for everyone who owns or knows some one who owns this crafty little tyrant: IT’S TIME TO DITCH THE BEDAZZLERS!

There isn’t much to do when you’re a 16-year-old suburban teenager who just got her driver’s license. The novelties of sitting at Starbucks and hanging out at Denny’s wear off really fast. Luckily (I think), my friends and I found a Sunday night teen dance party at a club in Akron, OH. It was a country western themed bar called “The Boot” that locked away it honky-tonk tunes and cowboy boots on the day of rest so bored teenagers could fill it to fire-hazard capacity. We strategically planned a “study sleepover,” kissed our parents goodbye, filled water bottles with 99 Bananas and piled into someone’s rusty car. For a fee of $5, you got sweaty teens grinding on each other, bad rap music, the occasional knife-fight and a vast sea of skanktastic fashion.

I usually wore a tank top and jeans, both made of natural fabrics that covered the better part of my body. But the majority of girls looked like a spandex/glittered/backless mess. Sequined butterfly tops barely covering the nipples were strapped onto overly tan torsos with single flimsy strings. Ass-crack revealing jeans that were certainly not Alexander McQueen caused a stir when getting low with Lil’ John. I’m sure the bartenders swept up a literal ton of glitter at the end of the night. Unfortunately, I sometimes still see this club wear popping up around the neighborhood. I hope you enjoyed my trip down memory lane. Lamentably, some adults haven’t grown out of this stage yet.

Thanks to GreatGlam.com for the truly horrifying photos!

Thanks for the photos Popgloss!

Some skanky Hockey Mom.

Amy Poehler...the "cool" mom in Mean Girls.

Let’s face it, there is nothing cool about moms that wear pink velour Juicy Couture sweatsuits, flaunt their belly-button piercings, show off their cleavage to their kid’s friends, smell like a baby prostitute or wear Rock and Republic jeans. Really, anyone over the age of 40 that goes out looking like they are about to hit up a high school dance should be given a reality check. Yes, you are old. No, you shouldn’t be wearing your 14-year-old daughter’s clothes. Yes, you turn heads…but not in a good way. No, you are not cool.

If there is one thing I really applaud, it is a woman who embraces her age and dresses for it. Dressing like a “mom” doesn’t mean you lose fashion and sex appeal. My mom looks killer in her Ralph Lauren blazers, Brooks Brothers sweaters and Calvin Klein jeans…and seeing that she has been married to my dad for 31 years means she must be looking good! 

Take my advice. If your mom has nicer clothes than you do, gets her nails done more frequently, dyes her hair obsessively and compliments your friend on her “stellar” heels, I recommend you ditch her while she’s shopping at Guess and head for higher ground. In the meantime, I’ll be hitting up 5th Ave with my cool mom.

So two of our writers simultaneously decided to write about their hatred for headbands…

From Andy Wass

What are these even called? I need to differentiate them from regular headbands. So forehead bands are obviously for when you’re going for the Bret Michaels/goddess look.

Now, I generally LOVE bohemian and Native American-inspired looks.  But the reason I’m sick of these little headbands is because, as Mischa Barton has showed us countless times, they are SO difficult to pull off, yet girls insist on wearing them.  I don’t know if my hair is too greasy, or my head is deformed, but when I’ve tried to wear a string around my face, it only stays in place until I start moving or sneeze or talk or breathe or blink. Then it slides down or up and makes the top of my hair resemble a bicycle helmet.

Also, my general philosophy is that if everyone is wearing the same thing, I become such the contrarian and trend-stopper.  I’m tempted to sneak downtown with a pair of scissors and just snip these headbands off girls’ heads while they aren’t looking.  So please let your brains relax and keep your hair dent-free.

First image from Urban Outfitters.

From Yael Friedman

Ever wonder why some celebrities seem so stupid? I mean not just dropped on the head as a baby dumb, or raised by Britney Spears dumb, but really missing a chromosome or two dumb. It just might be cuz they have giant sticks up there asses, but, wait, that’s not it, since most of them got that removed the first time they rushed to the docs for lipo.

So what’s the answer?

This fashion detective finally figured it out; it’s those wicked tight headbands worn Indian Chief Style that keeps the oxygen from flowing into their brains. It’s this which leads them to say and do things that seem totally insane to normal people. This is not meant to diss headbands or Native Americanos, but when you’re wearing a headband that makes you loose all feeling in your brain, then you are caught talking about the evils of the world and why no one is fetching you your Redbull, it’s time to take it off.

Sidenote, is it just me or have you noticed that when a celebrity gets arrested they’re usually wearing something around her head? Coincidence?  I think not…

Indies, let me know which opinion you agree with more!

Oh the bastard child of suburbia and commercial retail, how I loathe you. Indoors, outdoors, wherever you may be, please fuck off. Unfortunately for Northeastern Ohio, malls are the only options available for shopping. Yes, there are a few, small locally run boutiques and novelty shops, but they are found very far and few between.

It’s not just the establishment itself, but what malls hold inside may scare those who have never shopped there before. Merry-go-rounds holding screaming children and bored parents. Massive herds of 13-year-old, jean skirt-wearing, white eyeliner-eyeballed monsters whining at Tommy or Jimmy to “stop poking her in the boob.” Clowns making balloon animals and painting faces while cackling profusely. Not to mention Ugg displays, women sprinting after you with stinky perfume samples, the smell of rotting fast food, cell phone kiosks and weirdoes stealing pennies from disease ridden fountains. As I am forced to bear the dangerous elements associated with malls, I realize what won’t kill me will only make me stronger. And it makes me incredibly grateful for the freestanding stores that await me in New York.

For shame Paris! You should be embarrassed!

Whoever decided that the resurrection of puffy vests for Fall 2008 was acceptable is terribly mistaken. Take a sleeping bag, throw a zipper on it, and several of your cat’s regurgitated hair balls and you’ve got yourself another hideous puffy vest. I know, I know…they can be substituted for a coat in the cooler months and are oh, so cozy warm. Well, I don’t care. You look like another one of those preppy, Abercrombie obsessed conformists with no taste. And did you ever consider how many teddy bears could have been made out of this sorry excuse for fashion? I could have sworn that puffy vests were long gone when the last leaf fell in Fall 2007, so why on earth am I already seeing them out again? Personally, I’d rather be smothered to death by a puffy vest than be caught dead wearing one. 

Thanks for the photos The Budget Babe.

Totally the hat my grandpa wore to his POW meetings

Silly girl, rock/grunge wannabes don't smile.

You better know when to fold'em.

Something about having too much eyeshadow and not enough death metal on your iPod always manages to throw me off. A look that’s being raised from the dead in beauty is literally a look that makes you look like you just walked off the set of Thriller. The black-eyed, overly mascaraed trend is one which needs to rest in peace. No woman looks good like this, with the exception of true grungers/rocker types,  but it’s only made so much worse in the collection of Ashish cause the face doesn’t seem to match the collection, which looks like a mix of Mary-Kate meets Grannies Bridge club in Florida. Of course, when we saw a similar attempt at Alexander Wang’s last season, which was a truly rock-derivative collection, it was all the rage, but here the Raccoon is all the wrong you need to avoid.

On the other side of the coin, some of you may argue that raccoons are cute little creatures with a sense of mischief that is fun to imitate through eye shadow. Let me warn you the image on the next page may shock you and completely change your ideas of raccoons.

DO NOT CLICK IF YOU ARE FAINT OF HEART OR DON’T APPRECIATE SOME RIKERS ISLAND STYLE ACTION IN THE MORNING.

A love that Snoopy can't speaketh name.

We all know that baggy jeans for guys are totally out of style. That being said, why on earth do we find it necessary to wear slim fit jeans practically falling off our asses? No, it’s not cute. No, all the girls aren’t drooling over your Calvin Klein underwear-ed ass. No, seeing your happy trail isn’t sexy. Yes, you look like a fool. 

Slim fit and skinny jeans are meant to be worn at the waist, not the thigh, or worse…the knees. Politicians in Louisiana towns agree, sending some boxer-bearing boys to jail for up to six-months or charging them $500 for public indecency. It’s about time saggy jeans became a fashion crime!

Hangovers are terrible. I sympathize with students who are forced to attend class after a night of irresponsible drinking. Yes, it’s foolish to stay at the bar until 2 a.m. on a Tuesday, but let’s face it; college is about being immature and reckless before getting a real job. However, there is no excuse for not being able to throw on the crumpled, 3-month-unwashed, comfortable jeans slung over your computer chair. Instead, I see about 600 girls a day wearing Pink sweatpants. It doesn’t matter if the temperature is 95 or -5 degrees outside, people wear these sweatpants to class on a daily basis. You had time to put on a full face of cakey makeup but couldn’t button your jeans? Time management, people, time management. And these sweatpants aren’t cheap either; I’ve seen some pairs that sell for $50! I can buy awesome old man sweatpants at Goodwill for $2, and people spend 25 times that amount to look like the same pile of hung over crap. Unless you are going to be a gym teacher, learn how to make that hangover look appropriate ASAP…chances are your future employer won’t tolerate pink, rhinestone-covered sweatpants in the office.

Photos: OCregister.com, Blogger.com 

If you don’t know by now that these rag-like “scarves” are done you might indeed be living under a rock. I can completely understand letting a trend linger a little too long, but A Peace Treaty is simply another reason for me to want to kill this trend. The stupid dangling knots on the end are enough to drive any person crazy, and they never look quite right. The biggest outrage of all (and the sole reason that drove me to write this article) is the price. A Peace Treaty has the nerve to charge $99-$125 dollars for these 100% cotton table napkins! If you want to be the one who keeps this trend alive and keep wearing these things at least go to Urban Outfitters and buy one for $30 instead. For all of you who wanted to be cool and went out and bought one of these A Peace Treaty things, you’re stupid and will forever be deemed a douche and a label whore.

Does anyone even know why Sienna Miller is famous? Is it because she is a cheating, back stabbing, kaniving whore? Who knows, who cares. All I know is that I’m sick of hearing about her, and I’m offically over her. She’s like the new school Mischa Barton, in two years she’ll be jerking off the CEO of Soap Network in a janitor’s closet begging for a cameo on Days Of Our Lives. She doesn’t even care how she looks anymore either. If she’s going to try to stay in the spot light by spreading her legs, the least she could do is look good while in action.

Not that finding pictures of Sienna Miller looking ugly is hard, but Just Jared makes it way easier!

Unless you are climbing Mount Everest or moving to Alaska there is absolutely no need to own this amazing display of ugliness. North Face has become huge in the last couple years, and for what reason? They are simple black fleece jackets that scream “Look at me I am a conformist DOUCHE BAG!” There are very few stupid fads that I hate more than this one. If you are currently reading this thinking to yourself, “Well I wear mine because it keeps me warm when it’s cold out” go stick your hand in your sink’s garbage disposal and turn it on because your stupid. Cold weather and the desperation to stay warm should be/is every fashion lovers dream. Cold weather means layers, accessories and most importantly, MORE CLOTHES! Wear a cool scarf, hat, gloves, sweater jacket instead of one stupid North Face, and if you chose to go with the North Face, don’t be surprised when I kick you from behind into oncoming traffic. For all you North Face wearing losers, move back Long Island (sorry Marissa), Vermont, Middle America, or where ever your bad fashion sense came from.

Images courtesy of Flickr.com

The fashion world has always been an industry that craves extremes, which is why I think I hate this haircut so much. To me this represents everything that is mediocracy. You have to be cool so you grow your hair out but your too big a pusy to go all out, so you settle for this glorified bowl cut? I am a big fan of long hair, in fact I have had long hair, but this is not long nor acceptable in my book. This “inbetween” length of hair is actually great, because it allows for so many options and styles that can be used. Unfortunately so many have fallen victim to this ugly hair tragedy, so many that this is bordering on “How To Look Middle American.” I will say it now, If I count 35 kids with this exact haircut between now and Friday, expect a follow up story! (and no I won’t cheat by going to a shitty strip mall in Jersey and count all the douche bags at Hollister and Abercrombie).

I know you are all thinking, “I never see trucker hats around here anymore.” Well, in a little place called Kent, OH, I have not been so lucky. On my four-month hiatus away from Brooklyn to finish school, I’ve seen enough of them to give hat hair to the occupants of a small country. Hey, truck drivers are pretty sweet, if you think about it. They sleep, like never, get to travel across the country and transport cool shit like explosives and baked goods. As for the kids around here who are constantly trying to make them fashionable, it’s not working. Unless you drive a truck to finance your fraternity, sorority and/or douche bag membership, they are unacceptable. Oh wait, I take that back; for anyone who can’t stay awake at the wheel for 48 hours and doesn’t eat apple pie at Gertrude’s diner, it’s unacceptable.  

Photo: Flickr.com

Just about a month of living in the East Village and if I’ve learned one thing, it is this: never make eye contact with people you pass on the street. Instead, look at their feet. But all of this foot-looking has got me a little worried about the American taste in sneakers.

On my three block walk to dinner the other night, I spotted 33 pairs of Puma Future Cats (that is, 11 per block and 11 too many). But God forbid I say everyone wears Puma Future Cats. Red Pumas. Lime-green leather Pumas. Leopard print suede Pumas. High tops. Low cuts. Laced. Unlaced. There are far too many options when it comes to these conformist sneakers! Are we really that desperate for a pair of sleek Euro sneakers? 

Okay, so you’ve been living in Pumas for the past six years…now what? Let me make a few suggestions. Opt for a pair of Bikkembergs, Pony or Diesel kicks. Unique, Euro, stylish and they will set you back just about as much as a pair of Pumas. Do us all a favor and put the cat to rest.

I guess I was never into this craze in the first place, but I am over it more that I ever have been. On my usual downtown walk to the bars Saturday night, I saw the typical Midwestern university treasure trove of ghastly fashion. But this time, I overlooked the sea of snow-stained Ugg boots and pink Hollister tees to an even greater annoyance. Tank tops/dresses worn on top of tee shirts takes the biggest slice of bad fashion cake.  It doesn’t make sense aesthetically or functionally. If you think your tank top is too revealing to wear in public, then you should never have purchased it. And if you still insist on showing it off at the frat house, why not wear a nice blazer or cropped jacket over top? Is your dingy, pit-stained t-shirt really the best alternative?  It looks bulky, busy and childish. The look is fine for toddlers in the sandbox, but as for anyone older than five, just grow up.

So New York Fashion Week is here and everyone and their stylish, possibly queer, spandex wearing nephew are getting excited about the models, the celebrities, and the swag bags. Honestly though, I’m over it.

Every year it’s the same circus. We all rush to Bryant Park. We all wait in line. We all find our seats. The lights dim and the models hit the runway and we all end up pretty bored sitting in the dark as last years hits come playing over the sound system. It’s a joke really that an industry that’s supposed to be so on the cusp on the newest trend has gotten stuck on one set model for how to present fashion.

It’s ridiculous really. Pencil thin models are boring, especially when they’re pale and dull. Most of the collections are tired, seriously, how many times can you recreate a basic black dress?!? And the after parties are usually pretty blah. Basically, it’s all the same, every season it’s the same thing, and frankly I’m tired of it.

So my New York Fashion Week Resolution is to change the game. To make fashion exciting again. To take it beyond the runways, to present it in a new way, to make people take notice and to give young designers the chance to break free from the silly restraints established by IMG and Vogue. We started seasons ago with fashion show concerts, now we’re hosting shows on the Brooklyn Bridge for millions of people to witness.

The world of fashion is changing so keep it here on fashionindie.com cause we’re sparking the change.

Next, year expect bigger events, more designers, and a fashion week that will trump all others as Fashion Indie Media presents another season of Fashion Indie Week!!!

Chest tattoos on housewives.

Cool or Not So Much?

Granted, if you are a man it would make sense since most of the time you’re covered up, but as a woman wouldn’t it just distract from your decent set of baby feeders, possibly preventing you from ever looking presentable enough to do anything worthwhile with your life?

It’s especially annoying when nothing else about your style defines you as rebelious as the crazy ink blasted across your clavicle.  I mean, if you had some wicked hair, some additional tattoos and piercings, and had your arm around Travis Barker, it would definitely be worth the permanent ink, but if you look like some Texan Walmart employee who’d rather spend her days at a baseball game than at the gym, this look just borders on poser.

If I was a chick and had a chest tattoo and looked like the completely random person we found above, I’d probably spend my days on FashionIndie.com, talking shit about Daniel Saynt and acting like I was important or something.

Oh yeah, and the Astro’s suck!!

Thanks Tides Turn for the awesome photo!!!

Headache. Blurred vision. Nausea. These are all symptoms of whiplash, an injury caused by a severe jerk to the head. This impairment is typically caused by car accidents, roller coasters and intense inebriation. But haircuts have been the unusual and recent cause of whiplash, so people must be educated on its dangerousness. When your bangs are so long you have to whip your head around in a violent fashion to remove them from your line of vision, it’s time for a haircut. I’m not saying I don’t like long hair and “man bangs” because I actually adore the styles, but being fashionable doesn’t have to come with a side of painkillers. Sometimes you have to accept you have a smaller forehead than your friends and lose a few inches. But seriously kids, the time has come to remove the veil and take a look at the big scary world. Just get a nice little trim and save yourself from an unnecessary hospital bill.

So due to the fact that I am totally over the whole “fringe” look on books and bags, I though I would offer you indies a way to go Native American without the cliche of leather fringes. This cool messanger bag by Undercover brings in the Native American vibe and is easy to wear with anything. Though this bag is not for everyone, it definately beats looking like every kid who walks out of Urban Outfitters, Mischa Barton or Ashley Tisdale!

Shout out to Selectism for the bag and Just Jared for the celeb pics!

There is nothing better than having a natural, glowing summer tan stick around for the start of fall. It’s a lovely reminder of trips to the beach, outdoor music festivals and, my favorite, rooftop barbeques. I cherish the last few weeks of my healthy looking skin tone before the hibernation process is underway. But for some, good looks means having a tan year round, no matter what the weather may be. I’ve already observed a handful of fake-and-bakers in the neighborhood. But I know in two month’s time, I am going to feel like Willy Wonka surrounded by Oompa Loompas. The smell of shish kebab will fill the air as alien-like creatures enter the room with their orangey radioactive skin and glossy white makeup. Scary? Yes. Intimidating? No. I would rather feel like Dracula than something starring in a Will Smith movie.

So this past week I was making my Fall shopping wishlist and I came across these Alexander Wang denim shorts. I know Alexander Wang is the designer of the moment and can do no wrong, but almost $300 for denim shorts?! REALLY!

Okay the whole designer, distressed look is a personal-fashion-pet-peeve of mine. Why spend a crazy amount of money on something you can get at a thrift store for $3? This is why I can’t really understand Alexander Wang as a designer. It looks like luxe Urban Outfitters clothing. Kurt Cobain must be rolling around in his grave.

All I have to say is I’m so over it!

Dr. Martins are just plain annoying to me at this point. They are clumsy, heavy, stupid shoes and I am officially over anyone who is wearing them. The ugly tag on the back, the yellow stitching and transleucent amber sole make me want to puke. There is something about Dr. Martins that reminds me of the 6th grade and Metallica, and I don’t mean that in a good way. The worst part about them is that I have seen way to many people wearing shin high patent leather Docs. So rather than bitch and leave it at that, I will bless you all with some fashion friendly alternatives.

Red Wing Boots are where it’s at this year. They marked their comeback at Capsule this year, and I am totally into them. They are known as beeing work boots, so beating the crap out of them and making them look rugged is a must.

Frye Boots makes more badass biker type boots that usually say fuck the laces and go stright to buckles. These serve as a great alternative to the shin high Dr. Martins. So don’t say there aren’t any other options out there because I just gave you two good ones, and I now reserve the right to plant my size 11 Red Wing Boot in your ass you for wearing Dr. Martins.

Let’s just say someone shit in my cornflakes this morning, cause there are a couple of looks that I am officially over.

Hipster librarian was one look I thoroughly endorsed, being sure to pay extra attention to girls rocking it, offering to buy them drinks, telling them how smart/hot they looked, and quoting random lines from 18th century poetry that I knew they’d remember from their Lit. 101 classes at community college. Well enough is enough. This look has over stayed it’s welcome and is quickly morphing into the default of sexy intellectuals everywhere to the mainstay of hotties who want to appear like they have more than two brain cells dancing around in their head.

It’s extremely disheartening when you spot a sexy hipster librarian and assume that you’ll be able to engage in a conversation only to discover that your talking to some cracked out coke addict with bulemia breath who’s only wearing nerd shades to appear interesting.

So indies, I’m over it and hopefully you will be too so that we can return balance in the nerd/nerd wannabe universe.

Remember the horror? I know I sure do. Then again, the scars from Mantihose would be a pretty tough thing to forget. News has it demands for Mantihose are on the rise. In fact, the desire for Mantihose is so high, websites simply can’t keep up! Legwear4men has reported that their running out and it’s becoming an issue. What? How on earth is this possible; I really just don’t understand. Stop the Mantihose!

Diane Von Furstenberg

Levi’s

Burton Snowboards

Gap

Sphinx

Seiko

Royal Elastics

Loop

Paul Frank Industries

Bond No. 9

Barneys

I think it’s been made clear that the, often overrated, work of Andy Warhol is becoming widely used and revealed; however, until this stops, we’ll keep on telling you. Brands across the board refuse to stop the sale of designs featuring Warhol’s images; in fact, some designers are just joining the pack! What is this? The long list of designers and stores include Diane Von Furstenberg, Levi’s, Burton Snowboards, The Gap, Sphinx, Seiko, Royal Elastics, Loop, Paul Frank,  Bond No. 9 and Barney’s. Some of the designers are new to the Warhol scene; however, some just keep at it. Barney’s featured Warhol images in 2006 and recently they’ve swapped the images for “inspiration quotes” on Warhol’s behalf.

Thanks StilinBerlin for the pics

I know it was “the thing to do” in sixth grade but having holes in your jeans is about as cool as naming your left nipple Beyonce Knowles and claiming no one is ready for your jelly.  When you’re a hasbeen 30-something, attempting to hold on to a small shred of your youth by hitting the streets with a pair of jeans that look that you spent the last two weeks on your knees in front of of a casting director cause no one in Hollywood takes you seriously, you’ve got a problem. Take it from me, kneepads are the new holes girlie,  so ditch the strategically placed wear-n-tear and get in with the times.

The only type of holes I can thoroughly endorse are those caused on your brain from a major dose of E on rave nights.

]]> http://fashionindie.com/im-over-it-knee-cleavage/feed/ 0 http://fashionindie.com/im-over-it-mariah-carey/ http://fashionindie.com/im-over-it-mariah-carey/#comments Fri, 01 Aug 2008 15:03:12 +0000 Rebecca Alexander http://fashionindie.com/?p=8499

Okay, everyone used to love Mariah, she was beautiful, confident, and had a great voice. Now, she’s old, annoying, and trashy, and I’m over her. Just to show how trashy she really is, NY Mag points out that in every photo she takes there are two very distinct things that she does;

1. Twirl her hair

2. Show off her left hand, the one that has the enormous rock on it.

Now we all know that her ring is huge, and we all also known that that ring was formally given to Nick Cannon’s ex. SO why show off something that was pre-owned by a former girlfriend? We don’t know either…Also, there are bigger diamonds out there, on woman that have class who don’t feel the need to flash their left hands, most of whom know that love has nothing to do with the size of the diamond you’re rockin.

Yes they were hot, especially when Mary Kate wore them two seasons ago. This Spring, we saw them everywhere, oversized glasses became the staple fashion accessory that hipsters couldn’t do without. Whether shaded or optical, many didn’t leave the house without them, even if they were not needed for seeing beyond your trendy shoes. Now, they are overdone, everywhere, and utterly ridiculous. We saw a girl on the subway with glasses larger than her head, completely took away attention from her  pretty face. Everytime I see a pair from now on, this is what I will be imagining: