According to Simon Doonan, Jenna Jameson  shops so much in Scottsdale, NY she’s got her own parking spot at the Fashion Square mall.

Since the new Hannah Montana movie made $34 million at the box office, it’s safe to say that her fan base of sugar high, musty young girls and horny, greasy palmed, lurkin’n'lonely old men couldn’t have given a hot colonic about the tragedy she unleashed at the actual premiere. There’s a stylist somewhere that deserves a glass of hot piss to the face for makig a lovely girl look like Penthouse ‘Hoe Dealin Of The Month’. Now no one told me Hannah Montana was going into porn! I mean, is this a showing for a Disney film or did we make a wrong turn and end up at a Jenna Jameson 4 hour featurette. I bet that dress comes with secret pocket filled with complimentary birth control snackin pills and flavored sugar free sexin rubbers. I mean it’s a Missoni, so I guess I should like it but for some reason I have the strong urge to tear up my mama’s house robe and make an attempt at couture, I mean a hoe rag……………and……………….and are those…………………are those Payless shoes?!?! Oh, the WHOREmanity! Miley is too cute to be lookin like someone’s weekend tasty treatz!

Oh Miley m’dear, please just don’t shave your head and attack yo baby daddy SUV with an umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh!

- Z’maji of HauteBlogXOXO

Yes, that is Jenna Jameson.

I’m not sure if I want to know what her products smell like, but her Heartbreaker line includes body lotion, bronzing oil and perfume.

As if the concept itself weren’t classy enough, the website is full of typos and extraneous commas: “Heartbreaker is young and sexy, with an attitude! The top note, is a fresh splash of sparkling raspberry Champaign garnished with lovely rose petals. After a taste of champagne, the middle note or the heart of the fragrance, takes us into the night of blooming jasmine and magnolia ?owers, to keep the mood casual but seductive. The base note, surprises us with the infusion of sophisticated sandalwood and tonka bean wrapped in an intoxicating morning of amber.”

Classier still, you can get a free Jenna poster with a purchase from the online shop.  Smells like itchy.

Reportedly prego porn star Jenna Jameson, stars in the new PETA campaign. Of course she’s nude, of course she shows a little boobage, and of course her tattoo is very visable. Yet, the tag line claims that “too much sex can be a bad thing.” Does anyone else see anything annoyingly ironic in this? She is the worlds most famous PORN star. Yes, I understand why she was used as the spokesmodel, but her stupidity just baffels me. This is what she said when asked about her role in the campaign:

“Until dogs and cats can go on the pill or wear condoms, we need to help them practice safe sex.”

Wow, brilliant! I hope PETA understands that spaying and neutering dogs is just as barbaric as using them for fur, you are castrating the poor animals (they can have complete personality changes and go psycho, like my dog who later bit though my niece’s hand). How would they feel if someone cut off their balls or ovaries? There are many other ways to prevent unwanted pregnancies for animals, like making sure they don’t hump each other at the dog park. Just keep a watch on your own, it’s that simple.

Solange Knowles

Jenna Jameson

So I can’t say I’ve ever done this before..but after careful consideration, I may have to! Recently we’ve picked up on a new trend; alternating black&white nails. Trust me, this won’t work if you try to experiment with outlandish colors that don’t match; it would be a mess waiting to happen. Please stick to the blacks and whites! As you can see from Ms. Jameson and Solange it’s clearly a trend worth trying.