- Opening Ceremony is coming to print.

- Blinged-out nails.

- “Every cutie wit a booty bought a Coogi.”

- Boy bands are back in fashion and in style.

- These musician’s ink stink.

- Whitney Houston videography.

- Jewelry you can jam to.

- Karl Lagerfeld plays God and Snoop Dogg pimps himself out in a music video.

- The insanely bizarre lengths we’ll go to for beauty.

- J.Lo is the most powerful celebrity in the world.

- Skechers ordered to shape-up lies about Shape-ups.

- 5-minute masks.

- Music’s most fashionable album covers.

- Match your outfit to your drug of choice.

- 60s rock & roll style with Peter Asher.

- Cannes Film Festival trend report.

- Dolce & Gabbana lipstick-off.

- Have you ever stared at your closet and thought, “my clothes could really use a little more male genitalia?”

- Donna Summer music and style retrospective.

- Tips on dressing for a wedding.

- Martha Stewart giving Veronica Lake realness, courtesy of the late makeup maestro Kevyn Aucoin. [Tumblr via Paper]

- In what has to be regarded as one of the greatest — and most inexplicable — comebacks in recent memory, Jennifer Lopez tops the Forbes annual Celebrity 100 list for the first time, unseating Lady Gaga who falls to a respectable fifth place behind perennial power player Oprah, and fellow poptarts Justin Bieber and Rihanna. [Forbes]

- H&M‘s opening up a two-story, 21,000-square-foot store in The Shops at Columbus Circle this fall, the 1000th H&M in a ten-block radius and the first in Manhattan with a dedicated entrance to the men’s department. [WWD, sub req'd]

- Model, fictional stripper and occasional singer Agyness Deyn will next be seen on-screen in an adaptation of the Scottish novel, Sunset Song directed by acclaimed filmmaker Terrence Davies. [Vogue UK]

- Amanda Lepore pretended to be an ordinary citizen for a few minutes by standing in line at the Chrisitan Louboutin sample sale. Then, remembering that she’s Amanda Fucking Lepore, she sashayed to the front of the line, bypassing self-proclaimed Basketball Wives, and shopped to her sole’s satisfaction. [The Cut]

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On June 23, Hilton will debut on the wheels of steel in front of some 30,000 people during the Pop Music Festival in São Paolo, Brazil with a one-hour set following performances by Jennifer Lopez and Kelly Clarkson. According to the 31-year-old party monster, her set will feature ”custom-made remixes of the best tracks.”

She didn’t elaborate on who is actually custom-making said remixes, though one could assume her DJ boyfriend Afrojack may have lent a helping hand or two. Paris has been making the rounds with Afrojack on the dance music circuit, chillaxing and/or roof-raising in the booth during many of his performances and presumably picking up a few tips.

“I cannot wait to DJ for the first time in front of thousands of people,” Hilton told Billboard. ”I have been a part of the music scene and club scene since I was 15. It’s something I have been passionate about and have come to respect very much. I am very excited to share all of my hard work with the world.”

Has it really been sixteen years of illegal drinking, embarrassing crotch shots, bitchy backstabbing and baby-voiced banter? Where has the time gone?…besides clearly down the drain? [Billboard]

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- Chanel staged its 2012 Cruise collection at the Palace at Versailles with guests Tilda Swinton, Haider Ackermann and Karl Lagerfeld‘s plaid vest. [Grazia]

- Olympian hotties Hope Solo, Ryan Lochte and Serena Williams grace the June issue of Vogue. [Styleite]

- Aquascutum‘s out of the woods for now and is celebrating with a new CEO in Tim Dally. [Vogue UK]

- The UK’s Royal Mail has come out with some sartorial stamps celebrating post-war British fashion with postage bearing designs by Alexander McQueen, Vivienne Westwood and Zandra Rhodes. [Style File]

- Jessica Simpson is wasting no time cashing in on little Maxwell Drew with a maternity line in the works. [The Cut]

- Coty celebrated the 10 year anniversary of  Jennifer Lopez ‘s signature fragrance, “Glow,” one of the most successful scents in history with almost $2 billion in sales — or in other terms, more than all of her movies have grossed put together…multiplied by a million. [WWD]

- Isabeli Fontana will walk down the aisle for the third time when she weds Lauryn Hill‘s baby daddy, i.e. Rohan Marley in Ethiopia at some point in time. [Modelinia]

- This is Daphne Guinness singing Jefferson Airplane‘s “White Rabbit.” Just ’cause. [Paper]

- Jessica Simpson can barely give her baby photos away. The new mother has sold them for a mere $800,000 to People, a paltry pittance compared to Jennifer Lopez‘s $6 million and even Matthew McCounaghey‘s $3 million. It’s a sad day when you can’t even pull that Wooderson dough. [WWD]

- Who needs someone to put a ring on it when you look this damn good? Male model and lithe lady Andrej Pejic graced the Rosa Clara runway during Barcelona Bridal Week, thus upstaging every other biological woman. [Styleite]

- Rihanna‘s got a second capsule collection for Armani Jeans. [Refinery29]

- Giorgio Armani has thrown his hat into the Olympic ring, designing uniforms for the Italian team and joining the ranks of America’s Ralph Lauren and the UK’s Stella McCartney for what he calls “the most fashionable Olympic Games ever.”  Well, considering athletes used to run around naked, perhaps it’s not that big of a deal. [Telegraph]

- Director Fabien Constant has gained “unprecedented access” to Carine Roitfeld as he films the creation of her new magazine, CR Fashion Book, for the documentary Mademoiselle C, which will feature interviews with besties Karl Lagerfeld, Tom Ford and Donatella Versace. [Fashionologie]

- Rumor has it John Galliano might take over the relaunched Schiaparelli label, though the man behind the relaunch, Diego Della Vale, remains cagey saying he expects to hire someone by September. P.S. I’m totes taking credit for said rumor. [NYT]

- Gwyneth Paltrow is the new face of “Boss Nuit Pour Femme” fragrance by Hugo Boss. The actress, singer, lifestyle guru and all-around brick house will appear in TV, print and online ads for the scent, inspired by the little black dress. [WWD, sub req'd]

It seems as if time doesn't affect Cindy. She's just as beautiful as she was in her prime modeling days.

Proof: Working out excessively and spending $$$ on your beauty will pay off in looks.

Fresh faced and youthful. Jenny looks like she could be half her age!

Jenny from the Block doesn't have a wrinkle in sight. Absolutely stunning.

As much as we hate to praise Kim K, we DO have to give her credit on her flawless skin.

We've all heard about Heidi's surgery binge. What a shame.

Michael Jackson in training.

Duck face: botox edition.

Yikes. And she looked so beautiful in Moulin Rouge too...

It looks like he came straight out of a horror movie. We're speechless.

"Nasty" (1986) When she first declared Control in 1986 -- control of what she says, control of what she does -- Janet was only 19 and her conservative style may have belied her years. But make no mistake, she wasn't a prude. She and her gal pals -- including a young Paula Abdul -- just wanted some goddamned respect.

"When I Think of You" (1986) The hair got bigger and the outfits got wilder with Jackson's first #1 hit, though at the time Janet was probably hanging her head if not in sartorial shame, then from the sheer weight of all that teased out hair.

"Rhythm Nation" (1989) Janet got serious and soldierly with 1989's Rhythm Nation 1814, her blockbuster album that spawned a record 7 top 5 hits. Befitting the theme of a unified nation under the groove, Janet brought out the epaulets, unfrizzed the hair and pulled that pony through her baseball cap for some dance-army realness.

"Love Will Never Do (Without You)" (1990) Janet reinvented herself as a sex symbol thanks to famed fashion photographer Herb Ritts. With a brown wig in a classic updo, a black halter top and ripped blue jeans, Ms. Jackson kept it beautifully simple and opened the 90s on a sexy but chic high note.
Janet Jackson - Love Will Never Do Without You by jpdc11

"If" (1993) Once Janet flashed her midriff there was no going back. As possessor of the most famous bellybutton of the 90s, Janet wore a strikingly similar outfit in "That's the Way Love Goes," which features a young Jennifer Lopez before she began her long love affair with eyebrow contouring. This video is notable, of course, for what is hands down the greatest dance break of all time.

"You Want This" (1994) After gallivanting about with that hoodlum Tupac Shakur in 1993's Poetic Justice, Janet got in touch with her inner Banjee girl -- donning dookie braids, gold hoops and a whole lot of attitude.

"Scream" (1995) Though she was probably wearing less foundation than big brother Michael -- may he rest -- Janet's gorgeous smokey eye (courtesy of legendary makeup artist Kevyn Aucoin -- may he rest) steals the $7 million show. That's right this video cost $7 million, making "Scream" the most expensive music video to date. And for good reason, this was the first and only time the brother and sister have shared screen time. Sidenote, MJ was so impressed with Aucoin's work the King of Pop wanted him to be his full-time make up artist, but perhaps noting how much time that would actually entail, Aucoin declined.

"Got 'til It's Gone" (1997) Almost 15 years before Rihanna saw red, Janet rocked the flaming fro for her The Velvet Rope album. Featuring supermodel Alek Wek, "Got 'til It's Gone" channels 70s-era South Africa during apartheid with Janet presiding as a funky-haired lounge singer to a club of stylish folks dressed in a mix of tribal prints and vintage threads.

"I Get Lonely" (1998) Janet had explored masculine dressing in 1989's "Alright" in which she donned a zoot suit and hoofed it with Cab Calloway, but here she successfully plays with both the masculine and feminine...right before tearing off her tie and sequined corset and ripping her shirt open to bare her famous breasts in the video's thrilling conclusion.

"What's It Gonna Be?!" (1999) Another high-priced, futuristic video, this time Janet joined Busta Rhymes for her most avant garde look to date: we're talking leather from head to toe, laced-up thigh-high boots, a towering crown of weave, an impossibly long train, foot-long eyelashes, a black lip and the real kicker -- nails pierced with gold rings. Even Lady Gaga would have to raise her paws in respect.

"Doesn't Really Matter" (2000) Janet commits wholly to the millennial J-Pop look with wide-legged jeans you could smuggle a family of skateboarders in, bright colors galore and an architectural wedge or two as she and her similarly-attired girls dance it out on a gyroscope.

"Make Me" (2009) The style in this video sort of takes all of Janet's past hits and squeezes them all together: a fedora à la "I Get Lonely"; a kimono top that wouldn't be out of place in "Doesn't Really Matter"; however Janet left the 80s shoulder pads at home in favor of a sleek metallic bold shoulder -- the only shoulder worth wearing. Her 19th and so far last #1 dance hit, my fingers are crossed we have more Janet Jackson music and visuals to make us move in the coming future.

- Seems like brownface doesn’t really fly these days. One of Ashton Kutcher‘s Popchips ads, in which he plays an Indian man, was deemed racist by people with eyes and ears and subsequently taken down. No word if the NAAKL, the National Association for the Advancement of Karl Lagerfeld, plans on any legal action. [NY Post]

- Nicholas Kirkwood wants the Duchess of Cambridge to step up her shoe game. Ah, if only one day Kate Middleton hoofed it in a sky-high tranny heel, the world would be a much better place. Or at least a much more fierce place. [Grazia]

- Cameron Diaz says she burst into tears following her super short (and super unflattering) haircut. But honestly, who didn’t? [Us]

- The makers of UGGs are getting $686 million from 3000 Chinese websites accused of selling counterfeit boots. Was it really worth it China? [Huff Po]

- Courtney Love lost the publicity rights to Kurt Cobain‘s name, likeness and appearance some time in 2010 in exchange for a loan from daughter Frances Bean‘s trust. Stories like this are really what Mother’s Day is all about. [Vulture]

Obviously the Gags couldn't rest on mint for too long. She's onto a lavender, made entirely of hair.

Katie Perry's candy colored Teenage Dream takes form in Miu Miu

J.Lo takes sherbet pink to the floor in a slightly more vibrant hue.

Solange Knowles spins in the happiest yellow, clutching a complementing pink.

, ever in fringe and other swinging fabrics, ties a silky peach robe right round.

"These Have Always Brought Me Luck." In the Middle Ages diamonds about the face were worn to ward off the "Evil Eye," while Cleopatra would keep a giant diamond on her person at all times in hopes of attracting the love of Mark Antony. Jennifer Lopez, on the other hand, keeps a giant diamond on her person in hopes of denying alimony to Marc Anthony.

Comb-Over. Dropping a comb whilst combing your hair was said to be a sign of impending disappointment. Though in my opinion it's more of a sign that you're way too hungover and you should proabably just throw on a turban and call it a day.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall... There are many superstitions surrounding mirrors which were long thought to hold the key to your future, thus breaking one would more or less seal your fate. It's also apparently bad luck to look into a mirror by candlelight, and not just because it's terribly unflattering.

Knit Wit. Never knit a pair of socks for your beloved because he'll use them to walk right out on you. Then again, if that's your intention, bust out that yarn and go to town, girlfriend.

Put Your Shirt On, Flip It and Reverse It. Wearing your clothes inside-out was a form of good luck, but only if you kept them that way until the time you'd usually take them off. Otherwise, people might just think you've suffered a stroke.

Gold of My Ear. Sailors used to wear gold hoop earrings so they could pay their fare in the Underworld should they sink and drown. Of course, some sailors chose to wear gold doorknockers because they liked to have their decks swabbed, if you catch ma drift.

It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's a...Shoe. In England, it was tradition to throw a shoe at someone as they were setting out on a journey to wish them good luck. Naomi Campbell adopted this tradition as her own, but updated it for modern times using Swarovski-encrusted Blackberries instead.

- George Clooney brought his charm and good looks to a protest outside the Sudanese embassy and was subsequently arrested after “disorderly crossing” a police line. Finally! A “disorderly” celebrity arrest without “drunk and” before it. [E!]

- Jennifer Lopez‘s manager, Benny Medina, thinks she has bad taste in men. Jennifer Lopez thinks Benny Medina should shut the hell up. [Fashionista]

- “Fashion icon,” “musician” and all-around bad bitch Rihanna will soon be adding fashion designer to her list of pseudo-accomplishments. [MTV Style]

- Speaking of Rihanna and her bad-bitchery, could the singer’s shenanigans as of late  – such as her controversial duets with noted creepster Chris Brown and of course this little gem — be a well-calculated publicity stunt? Answer? Duh. But that doesn’t make it any less stupid/amazing. [Huff Po]

- Lady Gaga has apparently taken a vow of silence, thus taking her “Poker Face” to a whole other level. [R29]

- The Hollywood Reporter, a barometer of style if there ever was one, named the 25 most powerful stylists in Hollywood and neither Rachel Zoe or Brad Goreski are that powerful outside reality television and the front rows of fashion shows. [The Cut]

- The Kardashians return to Sears with a lingerie line, which of course called for the same half-assed Photoshopping job prevalent since the beginning of their partnership. If it’s terribly broke, why fix it? [Styleite]

- A musical based on War Paint, a book chronicling the rivalry between makeup giants Elizabeth Arden and Helena Rubenstein is coming to Broadway, with a little help from the people behind Grey Gardens and Wicked. Expect a shower of Tonys. [Telegraph]

- Roberto Cavalli may have leaked the beans about Jennifer Lopez‘s potential fourth marriage to her second back-up dancer, Casper Smart. [Huff Po]

- The networks that brought you Jersey Shore and Aqua Teen Hunger Force, MTV and Adult Swim,  think Kate Upton‘s newest commercial for Zoo York have too much “bleeped profanity.” Way to lose your b***s, a*****s . [NYDN]

-  Noted…Brit dude Piers Morgan thinks Kate Moss is “a vile little creature,” it seems, because she kicks him every time she sees him. Some people are so sensitive. [Telegraph]

- Jennifer Lopez breaks out her best smolder for the April cover of Vogue for the third popstar– is that what we’re calling her these days? —  in a row to be featured this year. [Fashionista]

- Jimmy Choo has dedicated a shoe to nonagenarian fashion icon/sassbot Iris Apfel. [The Cut]

- Speaking of 90-year-olds in heels, Madonna is coming out with a line of “dance-inspired” shoes in a collaboration with bargain basement discount cobbler Aldo. Way to cheapen the brand, Madge. [WWD]

- Carrie Bradshaw‘s iconic apartment — or rather the townhouse used for external shots — is up for sale and you can muse out of its windows while chainsmoking in front of your laptop for only $10 million. [Jezebel]

- Proving that Parisian houses aren’t the only ones who can’t hold onto its creative directors, Derek Lam has left his post at Tod’s. Who wants to officially start a Dior rumor? [WWD, sub req'd]

Hilfiger will help guide each contestant to shape and define their personal styles and images because as we all know, video killed the radio star.

“If you look at what makes a star, it’s not only musical talent, it’s the complete package,” Hilfiger told WWD. “And that includes image. If you look at great superstars from Michael Jackson to Madonna and Lady Gaga and Katy Perry [Ed. note: no] today, they each have a unique style and that adds to their persona. It’s the icing on the cake.”

While the designer has outfitted many a star over the years, he won’t be confining himself to “one brand,” i.e. his own. But if a Hilfiger dress or slack makes it on the air a few times a week — so what, who cares? Sure as shootin’ not Idol, which wouldn’t mind if they started a few trends that didn’t end in yet another singing reality competition show.

First of all, I was barely aware that American Idol was still on since it ceased to exist in my mind as anything of note when future Academy Award winner Jennifer Hudson was kicked off 40 years ago — but apparently it’s the number one show in America.

Re-evaluate your priorities, America.

Second, isn’t Jennifer Lopez example enough of an “image expert” since she’s built a career on a series of looks and showstopping gowns, punctuated with the occasional romantic comedy or club banger. What can Tommy Hilfiger possibly show these contestants that J. Lo hasn’t taught, like, everyone since Selena?

Tune in to American Idol to find out. Or you know, don’t. [WWD]

- Speaking of which, Andrej Pejic is rumored to make his big screen debut. [Huff Po]

- Jennifer Lopez straps on a jock — though it looks more like a codpiece but then again J. Lo does have a huge set of balls — for the cover of V Magazine. [Fashionista]

- Taking a page from Chanel‘s much pricier playbook, Banana Republic took to the skies to show off its Mad Men-inspired collection. [The Cut]

- Good news: besties Beyoncé and Gwyneth Paltrow will star in a movie musical together. Bad news: Ryan Murphy is writing it. Good news: Andy Samberg and his Lonely Island cohorts are producing the music. This could be the best-worst-best movie ever. [Elle]

- Seems like someone liked Kanye West‘s debut collection, or at least part of it. Parisian boutique Colette has picked up his shoes, a collaboration with Giuseppe Zanotti. [Refinery29]

- Former Monkee and Daydream Believer Davy Jones died of a heart attack today at age 66. [Paper]

- Suzy Menkes thinks Christopher Kane could be in line to take over Dior. Then again, Stefano Pilati has some free time on his hands these days. [Vogue UK]

- Joan Smalls is the first black model to cover Vogue Italia since the epic “Black Issue” in 2008. And wouldn’t you know it, that bitch stole my look. [Huff Po]

- According to Jennifer Lopez‘s stylist, the nip did not actually slip during the Oscars. Meanwhile, I’m surprised J. Lo let her get out that blatant lie before firing her. [People]

- Proving that a cat eye works wonders, Katy Perry looks very much not like Katy Perry on the cover of Interview. And that’s clearly a good thing. [ONTD!]

- The world came to a stop when it’s most famous baby, Blue Ivy, took her first public stroll with mom Beyoncé. She’ll be flipping off paparazzi by the time she’s teething. [Just Jared]

Commentary: "She looks like she's slithering out of her own skin...and for good reason."

Lose the jacket and you've got yourself a stunner. And I'm talking to you Jessica Chastain

Commentary: "I didn't realize the circus was in town. Tell me, how many clowns can she fit under that tent?"

Perhaps a little too heavy on the beading, but the stars will be out once the cameras start flashing.

Commentary: "Gone with the picnic table. Even Scarlett O'Hara couldn't pull this one off."

Simple and chic but the sheer skirt keeps this from waltzing into comatose couture.

Commentary: "She's going commando! Literally, she skydived onto the red carpet, then wrapped the parachute around her and marched into the show."

It was hard finding anything suitable for the Oscars on Gaultuier's runway, but this scoop-back ditty hit all the right notes.

Commentary: "Looks like she came to her senses a little too late and was only half successful in taking her dress off in the limo ride here."

Pretty much everyone and their mother wants Rooney Mara in Givenchy and this is the closest thing to perfection she'll get.

Commentary: "Tilda you look amazing! Anyone else might receive a public stoning."

When in doubt, always go the ethereal route.

Commentary: "Did a hurricane sweep through every retirement community in Boca Raton and land directly on her?"

Black is always a popular choice on any red carpet so a stunning pale yellow like this will surely have heads turning,

Commentary: "Little ho on the prairie."

All this look needs is a high chignon, a Judith Leiber clutch, and a pair of statement earrings OR a statement necklace...not both.

Commentary: "The dress is wearing her. And it wants off."

It don't get no more chic than this. Give me a two-tone and I'll give you a star.

Commentary: When did the ghost of J.Lo's career show up?"

Miss Havisham knocked a few back and now she's ready to party.

UANI issued an open letter to Lopez urging her to end her relationship with Fiat due to the Italian car maker’s ties to Iran: ”By endorsing Fiat, you are serving as a spokesperson for a company that freely does business with a regime that is developing an illegal nuclear weapons program, financing and sponsoring terrorist groups including al-Qaeda, has killed American and NATO soliders and is recognized as one of the world’s leading human rights violators.”

The group is giving La Lopez until January 18 to decide whether or not she will renounce her relationship with Fiat and Lopez is giving UANI until she effing feels like it before she drives that Fiat straight through their headquarters and bitch slaps everyone in a five mile radius. Because that’s how Jennifer Lopez does terror. [Huff Po]

Photos: Vogue Italia

Nina Garcia, Tinsley Mortimer, Derek Warburton, Charlotte Ronson, Chris Benz and CNN“s Alina Cho were among the well-appointed attendees, while liquor sponsor Domaine de Canton kept the ballers well lubricated with a host of refreshing cocktails. Bill Cunningham donned his best — and in all likeliness, only — tuxedo to capture the scene, including the 20th Annual Holiday Train Show. Calling it a”Train Show” is a bit of an understatement since the Garden’s Enid A. Haupt Conservatory was turned into a miniature train town, featuring the most stunning scaled-to-size architecture I’ve seen since Barbie‘s Dream Italian Villa.

Besides an excuse to dress up and be fabulous, the Wonderland Ball also supports the Garden’s world-renowned Children’s Education programs, allowing children of all ages, particularly underserved children in the Bronx, an opportunity to learn about nature in engaging ways through workshops and hands-on activities. While it may sound like a very serious and somber affair, the night was a blast, particularly after the DJ took to the turntables. There’s nothing quite like seeing a stately woman in a feathered gown shaking her tail-feather to LMFAO.

Click through the gallery for images from the Winter Wonderland Ball — courtesy of Patrick McMullan and Will Raggozino — and try your hand at Domaine de Canton’s signature cocktails with these handy recipes:

Etlingera

1 ounce of Domaine de Canton topped with Champagne. (served in a champagne flute and Garnished with a Wild Hibiscus flower)

“The Winter Gold Rush”

1.5 Ounces of Domaine de Canton

1 ounce of Makers 46

Half ounce of fresh lemon juice

(Shaken and strained into a martini glass and garnished with a luxardo cherry)

“The White Orchid”

Equal parts (1 ounce ) of Domaine de Canton, Belvedere Citrus Vodka, White Cranberry juice. ( Shaken and strained into a rocks glass over fresh ice. Garnished with a white orchid flower )

Domaine de Canton

Atmosphere

Domaine de Canton cocktails

Atmosphere

The prather epic train show Photo - Patrick McMullan/PatrickMcMullan.com

Dance-mosphere

Train town Photo - Patrick McMullan/PatrickMcMullan.com

Jennifer Creel

Julia Moore, Nina Garcia, Nathalie Kaplan

Nina Garcia

Cristina Greeven Cuomo, Alina Cho

Chris Cuomo, Cristina Greeven Cuomo

Tinsley Mortimer

Photo - Patrick McMullan/PatrickMcMullan.com

Photo - Patrick McMullan/PatrickMcMullan.com

Nina Garcia, Bettina Zihlka, Tinsley Mortimer

Dance-mosphere

Photo - Patrick McMullan/PatrickMcMullan.com

Photo - Patrick McMullan/PatrickMcMullan.com

Charlotte Ronson, Ali Wise

Nick Brown, Dalia Oberlander

Darryl Robinson

Derek Warburton

Photo - Patrick McMullan/PatrickMcMullan.com

Meredith Melling Burke Photo - Patrick McMullan/PatrickMcMullan.com

Photo - Patrick McMullan/PatrickMcMullan.com

Thomas Farley, Lori Lengua, Darryl Robinson Photo - Patrick McMullan/PatrickMcMullan.com

Atmosphere

A gorgeous time capsule to a more innocent time, the 1980s

And here we have an embellished skirt from Gloria's "Tranny Get Your Gun" period

A strong 80s brow

The Miami stuns machine

Conga time

Lovely Latina in lace

Glamour on the red carpet

Diva hair, 101

Don't know what's going on here, but fully supporting it

Ethereal Estefan

Rumors are that Jenny from the block is quietly selling all the jewelry and designer clothes given to her from her previous marriage to singer Marc Anthony. Some say she’s even keeping it classy by selling some on eBay. According to the Chicago Sun-Times “He gave her quite a lot.”

It’s been a tough year for women’s fashion magazines across the board, except for Vogue, which has managed to increase its ad pages by 9% and its newsstand sales by 13%, thus earning it the title of Ad Age‘s Magazine of the Year. Conversely, Glamour‘s ad pages and newsstand sales are down – by 7% and 17%, respectively. As Condé Nast‘s biggest seller, it’s imperative that Glamour turn a strong profit for their publishing parent; and so to ensure that, Leive is planning a redesign and overhaul of the mag.

The new Glamour will launch in March with new columns and contributors and an increased focus on pop culture. Michael Angelo, Nylon‘s former art director has also been brought on to assist with the redesign. “The format of many women’s magazines — Glamour included! — hasn’t changed much for a decade,” Leive told WWD, ”but young women are consuming media in totally different ways now. Our team is creating a new Glamour and glamour.com for this new generation of readers….”

Hopefully someone informed Ms. Leive that this  new generation of readers doesn’t actually read. [WWD]

In his new book, Hedy’s Folly: The Life and Breakthrough Inventions of Hedy Lamarr, the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, Richard Rhodes dips his quill into the actress’ inkwell of kookery to detail her long-neglected contributions to modern science…and badassery.

At 18, Lamarr starred in 1933′s Ecstasy, a highly controversial Czezh film featuring a nude Lamarr and filmdom’s first depiction of a female orgasm. Around that time, Lamarr unhappily married an Austrian arms dealer — it’s just something you do once breaking down sexual taboos before hitting legal drinking age. The Austrian arms dealer husband would invite Nazi generals over for a little tea and tyranny where they would discuss weapons — and Lamarr eagerly listened.

Perhaps not too keen on being a Nazi war bride, the time came for Hedy to escape her marriage. She claimed she dressed up as a maid and jumped out the window to freedom, but in truth she hopped a steamer that had one of the most, if not the most influential man in Hollywood at that time — MGM’s Louis B. Mayer. By the end of the trip, she had a seven-year, $3000/week contract with the studio. Sure it’s no $20 mil per film, but that was big money then…hell, it ain’t that bad now.

According to Rhodes, Lamarr “was keenly aware of the coming war. She was glued to the newspaper, reading the stories. … When German submarines began torpedoing passenger liners, she felt at that point, ‘I’ve got to invent something that will put a stop to that.’ ” Along with the avant-garde composer George Antheil, she conceived and patened a frequency-hopping torpedo guidance system in 1942. Seven years later Hedy accomplished another equally-impressive feat when she won the Sour Apple Award for Least Cooperative Actress at the now defunct Golden Apple Awards.

Antheil and Lamarr gave their invention to the U.S. Navy, which was openly unimpressed. Those swarthy sailors buried the invention for a while and the patent eventually expired. Then in 1962,  during the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Navy resurrected George and Heddy’s idea, but by then Antheil had already died. Finally in 1997, Lamarr was recognized by the Electronic Frontier Foundation — she died three years later at  age 86.

Although Lamarr doesn’t enjoy the same level of esteem given to many of her contemporary movie stars, her frequency-hopping invention is the basis for a lot of wireless technology including WiFi, cell phones and Bluetooth. Not bad for a girl who got her start faking it for a pay-Czech.. [LA Times Blog]

Crawling through the Boogie-Down, Lopez extols the virtues of her hometown and getting back to one’s roots — “They may be just streets to you, but to me they’re a playground.” –  but in truth, those streets aren’t streets to her either. While her body double was braving the hood, La Lopez was comfortably sitting inside her Fiat some 3,000 miles away in Los Angeles. Thanks to some innovative post-production, no one was any the wiser.

But now that the fox-fur-trimmed cat is out of the Gucci bag, this only proves that you can take the diva out of the hood, but you can’t make that bitch go back without a body double, some digital manipulation and a multi-million dollar endorsement deal. [The Smoking Gun]

Thank Christ someone came to work last night. Nicki wore this look flawlessly right off the runway with Alexander McQueen wedges, a curly pink coif and feminine makeup. I don't know about y'all, but she is my vote for Best Dressed by a landslide.

The words "Jenny McCarthy" and "impressed" are rarely seen in a sentence together, but last night was an exception. Not only is this outfit perfect, Jenny's hair and makeup look gorgeous and her boobs are contained under more than an inch of fabric. Surprising, yet indeed impressive.

Jennifer Hudson worked hard for her rockin' bod, and she's not afraid to show off those curves. For any other event, this dress would have been a tad short, but it's perfect for the AMAs. I know a few celebs (*cough* Christina Aguilera) who should take note from Jennifer here.

MJB could wear a garbage bag and land herself on the best dressed list. She is rocking this tacky Cavalli animal print dress like nobody's business and looks fantastic. Although, I wish the hair was a little bigger to match the mood.

Selena Gomez, the apple of Justin Bieber's eye and target of every tweeny bopper's hate mail, looks elegant as always in Armani. The dress, hair and makeup are perfect, but I wish her accessories weren't so matchy-matchy. She should mix in some playful pieces while she's still young.

ZZzzZZZzzz... Oh, excuse me, I fell asleep looking at Taylor Swift in the SAME DRESS SHE ALWAYS WEARS. To quote the late Lexi Featherston, "I'm so bored, I could die." Splat Taylor, splat.

I understand dressing elegant and all old Hollywood-like is kind of Katherine's thing, but this is the AMAs, not a black tie gala. Also, is her cleavage creeping you out like it's creeping me out?

New cougar on the market Jennifer Lopez borrowed the famous embellished nude jumpsuit Britney Spears wore performing at the 2000 MTV Video Music Awards. Sure she looks great for her age, but this is about 40 years from being appropriate.

Put X-Tina in a bandage dress and you have the perfect Jimmy Dean costume. Too bad Halloween is over. As usual, everyone failed to tell Christina she needs to go up about four sizes. Hair is bad, makeup is worse, poor girl just keeps rolling right down the hill.

Oh dear, another girl who doesn't know how to handle her own curves. A tight, red, sequined dress just does not work on a body like Clarkson's. A few more yards of fabric, some fishing line and black dye would improve this look greatly.

Keep smiling through the Botox Cheryl, and maybe no one will notice you raided the Kids 'R Us for your AMAs dress. Oops, too late. If you listen carefully, you can hear the soft chatter of her stylist being fired.

If you can manage to look past Audrina Patridge's lifeless gaze, you'll see what she really is - a low-class stripper with no soul. Wearing a garbage bag and prostitution whore heels, it's just another day in LaLa land for the reality television has-been.

Grazia Dailly reports that in an interview with Gabbana in The Times, fashion editor Laura Craik brought up Madonna’s new lifestyle brand — and it did not go over well:

Asked about Madonna (the day before we meet, WWD announces that she is to launch a new clothing collection), Gabbana becomes unusually un-chatty. What does he think of the news?

“Good.”

She’ll be ringing you up for a bit of advice soon.

“No”

Oh, OK then. Why not?

“No, she knows many things. She has a style. There are a lot of pop stars making fashion collections – Kylie and J.Lo, Puff Daddy and Kanye West.” He pauses for a beat. “Maybe next season, we should sing a song.”

What could have caused this apparent rift? After all, it’s not like Madonna’s line is going to be in direct competition with Dolce and Gabbana. And even if it was, I think we all know who’d win. No, there’s something else happening here…mayhaps it’s time for the Hardy Gays to investigate.

Admittedly, we’ve been too busy getting sloshed on tequila sunrises to solve any further mysteries, but this case is right up our drunken alley. [Grazia]

When leopard, sequins and a strappy open back join forces, the perfect dress lives.

The perfect comfy top for stumbling down to brunch.

Pair these glitzy gold sequined shoes with jeans and a tee for a fun daytime look.

Take a tip from J.Lo and rock this ultra-mini skirt for a sexy nighttime look.

Throw your money away in style with this blindingly shiny wallet.

Nothing says glamorous like a $7,000 purse shaped like a dog.

Show the Blackjack dealer you mean business with this handsome buttoned-up accessory.

*Kate Middleton‘s Alexander McQueen was a late addition and Rubenstein had to cut one of the dresses to keep the list to 100. So it was sayonara Nancy Reagan and her white one-shoulder inauguration ball gown. Michelle Obama‘s Jason Wu, however, remained in tact. [WWD, sub req'd]

Reese Witherspoon in Olivier Theyskens for Nina Ricci, 2007 Golden Globes: “Witherspoon’s slimmer figure, now snugly zipped into a strapless, canary-yellow silk brocade Nina Ricci cocktail dress, screamed, ‘Screw you, buddy!’”

Chanel RTW spring 2011: “Models rarely smile these days, but you can sense when they enjoy what they’re wearing. Kass could barely contain her delight.”

Rita Hayworth in Jean Louis, 1946,“Gilda”: “Strapless dresses owe their enduring popularity to Rita Hayworth.”

Julia Roberts in Marilyn Vance-Straker, 1990, “Pretty Woman”: “No matter how many times you have seen the film, the moment you can clearly recall is when you fell hopelessly in love with Julia Roberts — and that moment is marked by a dress.”

Michelle Obama in Jason Wu, 2009 Inaugural Ball: “Wu and the three women on his team set to work, spending more than three hundred hours making the gown.”

Halle Berry in Elie Saab, 2002 Academy Awards: “Because the gown was so right on her, it is the only one we ever imagine her in, regardless of how many premieres she graces.”

Princess Diana in David and Elizabeth Emanuel, 1981: “Let’s be honest. The gown is hideous…but it became one of the most copied Big Day gowns in history.”

Charlize Theron in Vera Wang, 2000 Academy Awards: “’We came real close,’ said Wang about the how-low-as-you-can-go open back.”

Marilyn Monroe in William Travilla, 1955, “The Seven Year Itch:” “Why the continued frenzy for an almost 60-year-old summer halter? Because of how it looked on the woman who wore it.”

Nicole Kidman in John Galliano for Dior, 1997 Academy Awards: “This wasn’t merely a sensational creation. This was haute couture-claiming turf.”

Kate Middleton in Alexander McQueen, 2011: “The legendarily loose-lipped House of Windsor became so close-mouthed it was as if there’d been a run on duct tape.”

Jennifer Lopez in Donatella Versace, 2000 Grammys: “No single outfit has ever caused more commotion on any red carpet anywhere.”

Madonna in Dolce & Gabbana, 2009, premiere for “Nine”: “The Sicilian dress is the essence of Dolce & Gabbana, the brand’s sartorial touchstone.”

Tilda Swinton in Alber Elbaz for Lanvin at the 2008 Academy Awards: “Amplifying Swinton’s translucent alabaster complexion, vibrant titian hair and knowing exoticism is a fashion sense that revels in her own singularity.”

Prada RTW spring 2004: “This Prada dress was striking for its level of ease.”

- Gemma Ward will step into some literary loafers when she co-stars in Baz Lurhman‘s Great Gatsby alongside Carey Mulligan, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire. [Refinery29]

- Emmanuelle Alt and Kate Moss love to do karaoke to Barbra Streisand‘s and Donna Summer‘s “No More Tears (Enough Is Enough).” The best part is I’m not even making that up. [Fashionologie]

The wedding day is finally here and we’ve got even more details about the Kim Kardahsian Kris Humphries uber lavish wedding.  In addition to our earlier list, here are the latest bits of gossip about the famous nuptuals:

1. The jaw dropping invitation is above, which includes requests for all guests to wear black and white.  The invite was delivered in its own box which was decorated by hundreds of jet black hematite crystals

2. $66,000 worth of wedding gifts have been purchased from her registry by the couple’s wealthy guests.  Still up for grabs are the $305 per plate set of Hermes dishes, a $7,000 Baccarat vase, an $840 Havana ashtray, and $205 KT ice tongs.

3. The wedding party is all shacked up at the Four Seasons Hotel, and they’ve caused so much ruckus there with the cameras and staff that another bride to be that was actually having her wedding there wasn’t even allowed to attend her own party due to security blocks for the celebrity entourage.  She was said to dash to her room in tears over the Kardashians taking away attention on her special day.

4. Kim’s wedding will actually be held at the nearby Montecito Sotto Il Monte Estate 

5. Post ceremony, the couple will be jetting back to their new home at the Gansevoort Park Hotel in New York City.

6. The wedding is set for 6pm west coast time this evening, and in attendance will be celebrity guests including Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Nicole Richie, Ryan Seacrest, Jennifer Lopez, Venus and Serena Williams, La La Anthony,  and the New Jersey Nets basketball team.

Mario Testino captures Lopez in all her Glow by JLo glory and Lisa Robinson gets the exclusive scoop on her life with Marc Anthony, her relationship with Diddy,her broken engagement to Ben Affleck as well as “the example she hopes to set for her children.”

Although most popular among women — from teens to ladies well-acquainted with an old-fashioned girdle —  more men are trying to control their muffin tops with such brands as Rip’t by Yummie Tummie, Under Armour and Spanx for Men.

Photo: Reuters

I don’t want to say that I was happy when I heard the news of  the J.Lo-Marc Anthony split…though a smile might have crept across my lips for a brief second. Call me crazy, but Anthony, my least favorite J.L0 partnering (I’m still holding out hopes for a Jennifer Lopez-Puff Daddy-Diddy-Diddy Dirty Money-Sean Combs reconciliation) was just holding the diva back. This latest development, however, will no doubt further fuel her recent comeback because nothing engenders sympathy — and publicity — like a high-profile divorce.

Kohl’s on the other hand, isn’t taking  it so well.

“The Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony brands have always been positioned as two separate, distinctive collections that offer high-quality contemporary style for men and women,” half-heartedly claims  a spokeswoman for Kohl’s, “and we look forward to a successful September launch.”

Rick Darling, the president of the licensing company behind the Lopez-Anthony line, also insists on the separate but equal plan:

“We have two separate agreements with Jennifer and Marc and always intended to have separate lines. [Their split] doesn’t impact the agreements in any way.”

Poor kids. Now Kohl’s will have to spend separate holidays and weekends with J.Lo and Marc…and inevitably they’ll have to choose between the two of them. And who do you think they’re going to side with? The poor straight man’s Ricky Martin or the rich gay man’s Eva Mendes? [WWD]

Someday is on track to become the number one selling ladyjuice of 2011. Karen Grant of market research group, NPD, even has the audactiy to liken it to other diva-fronted fragrances, claiming:

“We haven’t seen anything like it since [Jennifer Lopez’s] Glow and [Britney Spears’] Curious.”

Bieber also sacrilegiously broke Macy’s‘ previous celebrity scent sales record set by Beyoncé in February 2010 for Heat by finishing one week ahead at the $3 mil mark.

Ouch, B. Who run the world now? Biebs. [WWD]

Photo: Fashionologie

Giving executive realness on her way through Heathrow in a Roland Mouret shift and Smythe blazer with a 2011 Mulberry Polly bag and Manolo Blahnik pumps.

- Kate‘s epic wedding guest list also includes Daphne Guinness, Vivienne Westwood, Jude Law, Jade Jagger and reportedly, John Galliano. [Styleite]

- Blogger Rachel Kane of  WTForever21 might have to change the name of her blog to WTorever21 because she clearly doesn’t give an F. [Fashionista]

- Oscar nominee Hailee Steinfeld is precociously stunning in Miu Miu‘s new Fall 2011 campaign, shot by Bruce Weber. [Fashion Gone Rogue]

- Meanwhile, Raquel Zimmermann is sleekness defined for YSL by Inez and Vinoodh. [Models.com]

- The Huffington Post assembled 21 of Spring 2012 Men’s Fashion Week‘s “zaniest” looks. Some are actually zany, some are pretty fierce and some just need to stop pretending. [HuffPo]

- Jennifer Lopez will be on HSN this weekend, and while her team of handlers explain what an HSN is, J.Lo found her light and showed some gam for new fragrance Love & Light‘s ad campaign. [People]

Jennifer will be rated on the below categories, five being the highest and 1 being the lowest.

Fit: 4

Appropriateness: 3

Trendiness: 4

Styling: 3

Shoes: 1

Hair: 3

Makeup: 4

Pose: 4

Confidence: 4

This look is truly awful. Jennifer took a perfectly intricate shirtdress and turned it into a Jersey Shore-esque piece of trash. The python boots were a HUGE mistake lady. Hair is lazy, face is lazy, pose could be better – I’m half bored and half nauseous.

The scent, La Lopez’s 17th — I hope there’s a FiFi buried somewhere in there — is a “sparkling floral, woody fragrance” that purports to show off the diva’s softer, more sensual side.

Besides shifting uncomfortably in her chair and trying not to burn down the HSN studios for their unflattering lighting, what can viewers expect of J. Lo in those 8 long, grueling hours? Why personal stories about building a global beauty brand, as well as the development of the fragrance and her career of course.

Maybe she can finally explain why American Idol sucked so hard this season. And I just got my call-in question for July 2nd! [WWD]

2002 – The first OFT was a subtle affair. Clocking in at $730,500, highlights included key lime pie and a J. Lo velour sweatsuit. You gotta start somewhere.

2003 – O then proceeded to crack the million dollar mark, $1,527,750. This is when she started throwing $600 watches and $400 Blackberries at people.

2004 – Shit went down. $4,299,600. We’re talking flat screen TVs ($2,299), spa trips ($850), $11,000 bedding and a $2000 laptop. Suffice to say, there were no J. Lo sweatsuits.

2005 – A little more conservative. $2,211,600. We got a little Ralph Lauren, a little Burberry, an Apple iPod and the big ticket item, a $2400 diamond watch.

2006 – This year’s studio audience must have been PISSED. Facing criticism that she had been basically feeding into American’s capitalist greed, Oprah gave her studio audience camcorders and a $1000 credit card to perform (and record) a good deed. Cost = $390,000.

2007 - So that happened, a lesson was learned by no one and then Oprah dropped $2,364,000 on some hideous footwear ($120), the super awesome Planet Earth DVD box set and a $3800 refrigerator. I wonder if that included shipping and handling?

2008 - Remember the recession? Yeah, me neither, but Oprah did and so she shafted her audience again with an installment of “Thrifty Favorite Things.” An H&M swimsuit ($15), a Norma Kamali suit ($350) and something known as “Fit Flops” ($50) broke the bank at $210,600.

2009 – Oprah didn’t even bother this year. There was no OFT, no one checking under their seats for anything, no one jumping up and down in an embarrassing fit of ecstasy. The end was nigh.

2010 – Lulled into a false sense of security, Oprah struck with what would be her Biggest and Last Favorite Things Ever. A bittersweet moment, no doubt, but one still considerably sweet at a cost of $12,075,000. Diamonds! Cashmere! $700 cruises! $3600 3D televisions! $500 iPads! And the grand daddy of all prizes, a $22,000 Volkswagen Beetle! Crying, jumping, hyperventilating, heart palpitations, etc.  followed.

And that’s all she wrote. To those lucky couple hundred of people who got to bask in the glory of Oprah as she screamed in your face about gifts you could otherwise never afford, I salute you. To the less fortunate souls from  2006, 2008 and 2009, at least you got to bask in the glory of Oprah yelling in your face about something.

That’s more than many of us will ever be able to say. [Jezebel]

You can see Selena Gomez‘s Skinny Britches peeking out from her Dolce & Gabbana dress when she gets up to give Justin Bieber a hug at the 2011 Billboard Music Awards.

Blake Lively‘s Simplicity Panty peeks out through the sheer back of her dress at the Cinema Society’s Twelve screening.

Eva Longoria brought the Hide & Sleek Mid-Thigh Smoother with her to an Allure Magazine party.

Oops! What’s that peeking out from Jennifer Lopez‘s dress at the Gucci Children’s Collection launch? It looks like the Slim Cognito Shape-Suit.

She may be going to the Giorgio Armani couture show in Paris, but Katie Holmes prefers simplicity, the Simplicity Shaper to be exact.

How does Kim Kardashian get such a shapely, feminine body? Check out her Spanx secret, not-so-discreetly peeking out from her dress.

What’s that on stage with Katy Perry? I think I see In-Power Line Super Power Panties making an appearance.

Have you ever tried Spanx for yourself? Let us know what you think about them. For more information on these styles and more, visit spanx.com.

Photo: NY Times

“She lives fashion. She sings about and says it’s the most fun thing about getting ready for Idol. Her eyes light up when you ask her what kind of shoes she’s wearing.” So says Tommy Hilfiger, who’s working with La Lopez on her newest line for Kohl’s.

If you remember, in the heady days of Bennifer when Jenny purported she was from the block, she started JLO and its allegedly higher end line, Sweetface. It made sense, she was a bona fide fashion icon, scoring more hits on the red carpet than at the box office.

Example A:

And of course, the plunging neckline heard round the world:

That dress made Jennifer Lopez’s career — and coincidentally revived Versace which was struggling under Donatella Versace after the death of her brother Gianni three years earlier in 1997 — and propelled her to fashion fame (and infamy).

So it made sense for her of all people to start a fashion line, but she apparently “didn’t understand the business well enough.” Now with a new Hilfiger on board — Andy, Tommy’s younger brother, was J.Lo’s JLO partner — the old girl’s ready to give it another go.

Sure, Kohl’s isn’t a runway in Milan or a luxurious presentation on the French Riviera, but J. Lo’s going to be getting that J. Simps money.* Coupled with her cushy gig on American Idol, a hit dance song (the gays will take anything) and DVD sales from Selena, La Lopez has mounted a comeback!

And I couldn’t be happier.

There are so few real stars left since reality TV and the Internet has ruined fame for everyone (p.s. follow me on Twitter @LesFabian). Sure, she’s not the most talented singer, or actress, or dancer, or fashion designer, but hey — she’s the best at pretending to do all of them. And that’s called star power, kids.

Sidebar: Who knew Jessica Simpson would be the prototype for 21st century celebrity moguls?

Cavalli opens the book by writing:  “I am not a real designer… I am a transformer who takes even poor quality fabrics and uses printing and colors to make them glamorous and desirable.” He also goes into brief detail about how he started printing tee shirts as a child in Italy and his first real success when he was introduced to Grace Mirabella, the former editor of American Vogue.

The book starts out with photos of the designer from back in the day as he rubbed elbows with the chicest and most beautiful women of the time.

Beautiful images via famed photographers Mert & Marcus help put the string the book along. Beauties such as Gisele, Kate Moss, Jennifer Lopez, Lara Stone, Heidi Klum & Cindy Crawford pose in Cavalli’s beautiful creations throughout the book.

The book is also full of commentary and praise on the Cavalli legacy by all stars: Bianca Jagger, Beyonce,  Anna Della Russo, Stefano Tonchi, & Glenda Bailey.

What owning this book says about you: You’re a fashionista who appreciates the work of a fashion trailblazer.

What your dinner guests will say upon seeing this book on your coffee table: “Is that Gisele?!  OMG Cavalli! This book looks fab, may I take a look?”

How this book will make your fashion brain grow:  The books illustrates the evolution of the Cavalli legacy.

If you like this, you’ll love: Balenciaga: Spanish Master by Hamish Bowles

You can purchase this selection at the Rizzoli Bookstore.

How dare the judges bash Haley like that?! And whilst doing Mother Monster’s obvious bidding? Atrocious. The song choice was ballsy and impeccable.

In other Idol news, Jacob went oddly pitchy in the much anticipated No Air, but then took it to church on Love Hurts. James Durbin’s tears for Without You was only matched my my tears of him doing a slight injustice to Harry Nilsson. Though I’m no country fan, when Scotty hits those low panty dropping notes…. well… NO he’s only 16! But he worked that stage last night like a pro.

Meanwhile, Haley closed it down with her heart stopping rendition of House of the Rising Sun. Judges recognize.

*Andre Leon Talley wins the award for best purple tent. As always, his volumes are amazing.

Let’s take a look at the Best Dressed of the night. This category has quite a bit of people, as it should, for fashion’s biggest event. These were the As and high Bs, the working girls.

Shalom Harlow is my pick for BEST DRESSED in Marchesa. This is what the Met Ball is all about – she looks breathtaking in that gown.

I almost fell over when I saw Christina Ricci in Zac Posen. She never ages a day and looks super sexy in this sheer number.

I found Mary-Kate’s dress underwhelming, but Ashley Olsen looks ravishing in vintage Dior Haute Couture. The whole look is perfect.

Elle Fanning looks like a little couture doll in Valentino. She is so outshining her sister, it’s not even fair.

Rihanna has been looking haggard lately, so I was pleasantly surprised at how elegant she was in this striking Stella McCartney gown.

Iman, also in Stella McCartney, turned it out in a metallic gold jumpsuit. A little draggy, a lot amazing.

Karolina Kurkova in a spring 2011 Jean Paul Gaultier lace legging-dress creation. If the models can’t do it, who can?

I love this Prabal Gurung gown and funky jewelry on Ciara. White could be difficult to pull off at the ball, but she did it right.

Even though Crystal Renn is too skinny for my taste, she is an absolute vision in Alexander McQueen. I need my hair to look like this.

After getting ready in a Barneys window yesterday, Daphne Guiness showed up in McQueen. Perfect, amazing, stuns.

I loved Ginnifer Goodwin‘s look from the moment  I saw it. Then I realized it was custom Topshop. Damn she makes it look good.

Naomi Campbell looks like the queen she is in custom McQueen. She wears the sedatives well too.

Hamish Bowles looks like a true gentleman in custom McQueen. Love it from head to toe.

I always wait with baited breath to see what Blake Lively is wearing. She obviously did not disappoint in a Chanel toga.

New York’s best couple showed up looking better than ever. Beyonce is working that Emilio Pucci gown like whoa.

Queen Bitch Anna Wintour gave her best smile to the camera and looks like a shiny grandiose statue in Chanel.

On to the Most Boring of the night. On any other occasion, these folks would have looked great (probably). Unfortunately, this also means they’re the Cs of the Met Ball.

I’m sleeping. Zoe Saldana is usually among the best dressed. Why did she choose this boring Calvin Klein for the biggest fashion night of the year?

Leighton Meester is amazing, but she has trouble getting it right. Different shoes and hair would have done this Louis Vuitton dress more justice.

I love this Michael Kors dress on Emma Roberts, but she has the body to wear something more over the top on a night like this.

Madonna, the Material Girl herself, definitely could have done better than this Stella McCartney dress. Pretty, but boring.

I’m actually quite obsessed with this Miu Miu dress Michelle Williams is wearing. But I would wear this to a nice dinner, not a gala.

And now ladies and gentleman, the Worst Dressed of the night. These are the Ds and Fs of the Met Ball, the creme de la creme of mistakes.

ARGH! Christina Hendricks used to dress so well! This Carolina Herrera gown is an unflattering fit and color on her.

Oh dear. Hate to say it Alicia Keys, but it looks like you’re wearing a giant turd instead of Givenchy. Brown jacket AND dress is NOT fly.

Jennifer Lopez looks like a halfway plucked bloody chicken. Matchy-matchy lipstick, bag and Gucci is a no go.

I thought Chloe Sevigny would make McQueen look good, but I was wrong. The hair is awful and the dress fits like she grabbed it off some rack.

Sorry to say it Kate Hudson, but this Stella McCartney is not a cute pregnant lady dress. And whatever is on your head isn’t working either.

Nooooo! In the rush of preparing for the gala, Lucy Liu forgot to get a wax! Oh wait, that’s just her looking blech in Vionnet.

I hope everyone enjoying looking at the red carpet photos from the 2011 Met Gala as much as I. Who was your best and worst dressed of the night?

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

Model Crystal Renn poses on the red carpet at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty, in New York, May 2, 2011. REUTERS/Mike Segar (UNITED STATES - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT FASHION)

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

attends the "Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2011 in New York City.

Jennifer will be rated on the below categories, five being the highest and 1 being the lowest.

Fit: 4

Appropriateness: 5

Trendiness: 4

Styling: 4

Shoes: 5

Hair: 4

Makeup: 5

Pose: 4

Confidence: 5

Jennifer Lopez obviously looks bangin in this gold sequin jumpsuit, even though it’s a little too tight in the hips. If she would have done something a little more interesting with her hair, she would have an A.

- With only three days left to the Royal Wedding, Kate Middleton‘s dress still remains the best-kept secret since the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden. If the Royal Family has its way, and it will, we all won’t find out the name of the designer until 11 am GMT, at which point  www.officialroyalwedding2011.org will release the details as Kate saunters down the aisle at Westminster Abbey. I won’t be surprised to find that bin Laden’s been quietly sewing away in his private atelier — a literal hole in the ground — all this time in eager anticipation. [WSJ]

- Adweek has named the “10 Most Successful and Influential Magazines of the Year” and Vogue is nowhere in sight. The rankings were based on a number of criteria such as ad pages, ad revenue, overall circulation, and allegedly a “product quality measurement.”  Considering the 10 magazines chosen (Food Network Magazine ranks #1!) we are a nation of overweight, not particularly stylish, celebrity-obsessed nerds. U!S!A! [Adweek]

- Dolce & Gabbana revealed some behind the scenes images of their Fall campaign via Tumblr. Liu Wen, Maryna Linchuk, Constance Jablonski, Monika Jagaciak, Isabeli Fontana, and Kate King will star in the gender bending ads next season. [Modelina]

- Looks like somebody finally made a comeback. Jennifer Lopez has been named by People as the “World’s Most Beautiful Woman,” landing the cover of their annual “Beautiful People” issue. After years of subpar rom-coms and so-so albums, La Lopez has struck gold, not only as an American Idol judge (does anyone still watch that crap?) but as a spokesperson for anything that will have her. From Gucci to Venus Razors, J. Lo is shoving herself down our collective throats, and I couldn’t be happier gagging on her. [People]

- And a Happy Belated Birthday to our favorite creative director and cat lady, Grace Coddington, who turned 70 years young yesterday!

The Swedish superstar’s Body Talk series was one (or rather three) of the best albums to come out last year and her epic ode to the self-samba, “Dancing on My Own” has yet to leave my iPod rotation. It warms what’s left of my heart to see her getting some much-deserved attention, especially after being snubbed this year at the Grammys.

Sidebar: I mean, really, Teenage Dream? But I promised myself I wouldn’t get too upset about it, especially after that incident last year with Taylor Swift.

Joining Robyn in Elle‘s “Music Issue,” out April 12th, will be the Messiah also known as Beyoncé, Florence Welch (of the Machine), hair-whipper Willow Smith, American Idol judge and apparently-still-a-”singer” J. Lo, the baddest bitch in the rap game Nicki Minaj, multi-hyphenate supermom Gwen Stefani, blue-eyed soul songstress Adele, Oscar and Grammy-winner Jennifer Hudson, the incomparable Stevie Nicks and the Queen herself, Aretha Franklin.

That’s quite the line-up and the cover is quite a get for Robyn, who will also be performing April 11th as part of  Elle‘s second annual “Women in Music” event at the Music Box in Hollywood.

So West Coast gays, I expect you all to rally in support. After all, good pop music must be treasured and nurtured like the sequin-clad bird of paradise that it is.

Photo: Image Amplified / Link Love: Just Jared