All Entries Tagged With: "jenny garth"

Jenny Garth : Croc Whore

Further proof that no matter how washed up and useless you are in Hollywood, there will always be someone to pay you something for a product endorsement. This is just as pathetic as her “take it in the butt” husbands attempt to seem like this is some sort of “happy family”.  We know she dressed you this morning. No one with a testicle owns a canary yellow sweater and white khakis.  Plus any family that wears Crocs together cannot  possibly be happy!!!

I wonder how much Jenny girl got paid for this. It must have been substancial considering she had to get most of her family on board as well.   I can see the conversation now…

King Croc (aka Scientologist leader L.Ron Hubbard’s re-animated head) - “So Jenny, we want you to be the new spokesperson for Scien - um - ah - I mean Crocs.”

Jenny Garth - “Listen buddy, how much does the gig pay. I got a family of four and a latino pool boy named Philipe my husband doesn’t want us to get rid of, even though we don’t have a pool. I need some serious cash to pay for another round of botox and waxing for my hubbies taint.”

KC - “Jenny, we want all RPs (recessive personalities) to engage Crocs and discover the need to had over their lives as official CDs (Croc Devotees).  We already have Ludacris on board to get us the ODBs (old dirty bastards) from the UM (urban market) and now we need you to get us the SMs (soccer moms) and SADs (stay at home dads - yes, the acronym is SAD)”

Jenny - “Do I get paid extra if my husband and kids wear them too?”

KC - “Yes, Sciento - um ahem - Crocs are a family oriented brand. We want everyone to embrace them.”

Jenny - “Sounds good. Hey while I’m here, do you think you can get me on the 90210 remake 902102 (yes, that is the name of the new 90210 show. 902102.  I guess Laguna Beach was taken.)”

KC -  “How about a recurring role as Brenda 2.0s coke addicted guidance counselor.”

Jenny - “How about the role of Andrea, the old one, I’m about her age now?”

KC - “I was pushing John Travolta for that role. His drag turn in Hairspray makes him a shoe in.”