The early Beatles in their most iconic look: cuban heels, near-Nehru Pierre Cardin collarless jackets, mop tops. This might be how you remember them at their earliest.

Lady GaGa has held pop music hostage since her debut of 2008′s shameless club splatter “Just Dance,” a four minute pop song with the power to change everything from how music-fandom is represented in media in the form of the almost cult-like Little Monsters to, most importantly, changing the way we hear music on the radio, by transferring simple, underground beats to the Top 40 generation.

All to think it was something “new and fresh,” well, kids, it is something we’ve all heard before, reconstructed and rebuilt, with strange melodies that overpower the scourging beats that may mend one’s mind. Born This Way contradicts itself: it is an album that is layered with repetitive mantras of self-empowerment, with every track stereotyping and capitalizing on different points of views on certain people based on looks, attitude and full on demeanor. Should we not give this album the light of day because of the contradiction? Could we stop right there and say, “I’m legitimately born this way, I don’t need a record to yell at me and tell me who I am, I know who I am. I’m not listening to this.” Wrong. Many rely on pop music, pop culture, and a prolific role model who rocks a mean meat dress to tell them who they are. This album could be curated for the kids of the Y2K generation who need someone to talk to, a leader who mirrors the image of a god who understands the angst and abuse that being a teenager entails. Whether keyboard slamming or being spit on at school, the social commentary in this album is necessary and applicable to everything that is wrong in this generation. A celebration of freaks, misfits, self-proclaimed losers, and being allowed to dress however you want. Born This Way circumscribes the temporary feelings one could have experienced at The Monster Ball and has turned them into an album of fourteen tracks, a motel where you can relax (since hotels are too proper,) forget everything, and turn on the music.

001. MARRY THE NIGHT

Born This Way reaches full throttle instantaneously thanks to “Marry The Night,” a millennial hymn overflowing with an 80s glam-metal “Pour Some Sugar On Me” chorus where GaGa announces she is “going to marry the night!” on top of Garibay’s  strumming bassline. Church bells prove to work in a pop song, along with contrasting magnified pop beats with common-found metal chants. “Marry The Night” essentially portrays the overcoming of a bad day by taking advantage of a pub during the AM with your boots, a leather jacket, and whiskey.

002. BORN THIS WAY

“Born This Way,” the album’s title track and first single, contains lyrics as cheesy as really, really good nachos, but if you look past the talk-speak breakdown where she rhymes “chola” and “descent”, the “stop and look in the mirror and love yourself” lyrics could empower anyone over the age of twelve. In regard to her constant comparisons, the chorus is a set in stone chord progression found in many house songs from the early 90’s Cece-Peniston, En Vogue era.

003. GOVERNMENT HOOKER

I don’t know if American history classes teach about Marilyn Monroe’s promiscuous adventures with John F. Kennedy but if they ever want to add that to the History Twelve curriculum, teachers might just be able to play the track “Government Hooker.” GaGa howls like a werewolf before a droned, fast paced, lipstick smacking, electro number begins to slash. “I’m going to drink my tears and cry,” the lady confesses during the main section, involving her take on the self-infliction hookers get as a result of putting their souls and bodies out in the world. Vocal mockery of reoccurring, faux JFK samples loop all throughout out the song, showing his male dominance demanding Lolita Gaga/Monroe to “get down, get on the ground.” The production rubs off as insecure and aggressive, successfully coinciding with the lyrics. The hi-fi synths build up ferociously, as lyrics flash back and forth, i.e., “I want to fuck a Government Hooker, stop fucking me, Government Hooker,” ending with a laugh from Kennedy and a moan from Monroe.

004. JUDAS

Ace of Base inspired? Wrong. Abba inspired? Wrong. Aqua inspired? Right! The sounds of “Judas” are so inspired by Euro bubblegum dance that while singing along to the helium induced chorus, you might mistake them with one or two lines with “Barbie Girl” lyrics. The millennium pop-tart noise that RedOne has correctly brought back is brilliant, paired with lyrics about glorifying the evil dude who betrayed Jesus in the Bible and making him sound like a lame ex-boyfriend. “I’m still in love with Judas baby!” Well, duh.

005. AMERICANO

The Hispanic, festive tune that is “Americano” has a soprano chorus that makes you want to get up and circle dance drunkenly. But come on, it’s GaGa. We have to have a little bit of controversy; it can never be that simple. The verses play out like a theatrical drama with foreigh subtitles you’re watching in a Madrid-based hotel, but then the two girls start making out and you realize that it is about two lipstick lesbian lovers who met in the East of L.A. and decide to get married. “I don’t speak your Jesus Cristo” which is basically saying, “I disagree with American politics and God.”

006. HAIR

Every kid who pretends to, or is actually going against the grain, has times in their lives when they wear a piece of clothing that their guardians don’t agree with, while all excited to wear their outfit. “Go upstairs and change! Brush your hair.” I guess GaGa decided to write a whole song that could be universally related to kids who have been told to go brush their hair by a parent. The ridiculous saxophones in “Hair” should be decreased, but the song is sung with a sense of power. RedOne layering “Free as my hair-er-er-er” during a vocal spit-up of robotics over strident guitars played at early 90s industrial speed balance out some of the aggressively flamboyant lyrics. “I just want a lot of friends, so they invite me to their parties,” GaGa dictates, while having a Baby Spice squeak that could be looked at as nothing but innocent. “Hair” is for the kids who deserve to feel free and need to put the self-consciousness aside.

007. SCHEIßE

In this continuation of red light district dance, GaGa dry heaves feminist blabber in “Scheiße” upon a ludicrous streak of synths and an uproar of club-adjusted disco bass. A million pre-choruses and hooks jump from lingual meltdowns to croons about the womanly views of all the bullshit men put girls through. “I wish I could dance upon a single prayer, I wish I could be strong without someone there!” During the highlighted climax, GaGa’s vocals are roboticized with stutters of her speaking to herself back and forth, “I don’t speak German… but I wish I could.”

008. BLOODY MARY

The folklore tale of the mirror terror that is “Bloody Mary” was mused into a pop song by yours truly. “Bloody Mary” awakens a gothic tone upon of a humdrum husk of a direct take on why a poisonous lover should stay away. “I won’t cry for you, see. You’re still going to be Bloody Mary.” Near the end-split, a horror-film moan feeds the ghostly beat as it is being pulled back and forth; the avant-garde production is undeniable.

009. BAD KIDS

A stadium vibe evokes itself in “Bad Kids,” where GaGa’s intro screams homage to all of the misfits who should never stop being proud of their flaws. “Don’t be insecure if your heart is pure, you’re still good to me if you’re a bad kid baby!” a tooth rotting chorus that will soon be known as signature GaGa ear candy. The verses revolve around a freeing concept that repeats “I am’s,” “I’m a degenerate,” to “I’m a brat, I’m a selfish punk,” above electronic-vitals and tough guitar trims, claiming to release the truths of the mechanism behind teens that are known as “Bad Kids” to your typical Christian neighbors.

010. HIGHWAY TO UNICORN (ROAD TO LOVE)

A ceremony of unicorns and jubilee, for heaven’s sake, “High Way Unicorn (Road To Love)” is the worst song on the album. It is a screwy electronic piece that mutters about Satan, cha-chas, and flags in bras. This song suggests that it will take you out of reality, to “another place”, the so-called “Highway Road To Love”. Possibly this was an attempt at making a mystical “Eye Of The Tiger” or “Don’t Stop Believin’,” but neither of those melodies would’ve worked with lyrics about Unicorns. Silly, GaGa!

011. HEAVY METAL LOVER

Ravers get your red/blue 3-D glasses, a candy-necklace, and be prepared to cuddle-puddle. “Heavy Metal Lover” is a charming rave-core composition, par example; “I want your whisky mouth all over my Blonde south”. It’s an oddly perfect production between super-cyber vocal shreds and x-rated pony talk that seems to be an ironic redemption of the previous fail on talking about unicorns. The sounds actually favor sweet euphoria as the noise illuminates an acidic retch of cloudy-space shatter.

012. ELECTRIC CHAPEL

The record’s constant hard guitar, scuzzy synths, and head banging main-bits theme smoothly comes to an end in “Electric Chapel,” which features an organ colliding with a throb of raucous guitar. The term the song is named after could be seen as another word for the club as she preludes lip-service from beginning to end that can only happen after-hours at a certain location. Another classic glam metal chirp is shrieked when she demands to “Follow me, don’t just be a holy fool.”

013. YOÜ AND I

Ecstatic, clean, and classic while she pours her heart out, GaGa probably wrote one the best songs of her career in fifteen minutes from drinking a bit of beer and the convenience of having a piano nearby. Every moment in “Yoü and I” seems to be monumental: the electro hint of drum and bass, the simple piano, and an epic rock guitar solo. Hey, does anyone have a lighter? The hailing-from-Nebraska lover lament makes us remember why we all fell in love with GaGa in the first place, due to that memorable, unplugged, stadium-ready voice.

014. THE EDGE OF GLORY

A big beat, the use of Clarence Clemons notable saxophone, and Fernando Garibay’s essence-of-jazz inspired house production, “The Edge Of Glory” is white, stunning and romantic lyrics tell of being at the edge of life with our loved ones. The song ends off the album accordingly.

Now, let’s address the elephant in the room: Did GaGa, as she claimed to a crowd in Poland, really gives us the best album of the decade? Well…

LINK LOVE: ALEX KAZEMI.COM

Classic Marylin

True Blue

Fly Face

Layered Cake

Starship Enterprise

Surf’s Up

Pollen

Hula

Funky Floral

Amen Sister

The Sunday Mass Look:

Many of you are going to Sunday mass this Sunday because of your religious beliefs or in my case an overbearing yet loving mother who doesn’t want to see her oldest boy go to hell. (But I digress) When it comes to displaying personal style in religious situations one must put their ego aside to be respectful.  You can go or this seasons bright colors but don’t overdo it because the service is not about you no matter how bad you want it to be.

A blazer is a must and a houndstooth blazer like this one from Tallia Orange works with a variety of outfits.  This Ben Sherman shirt is a great mix of simple and detailed to stand alone or under a jacket. A tie is a must when it comes to dressing up and this Brooks Brother necktie is a great pop of color on top.

When the top of your outfit is pretty tame it is best to shock people by having a super interesting bottom. That’s what I strongly recommend a color trouser like these from Jil Sander. If you’re pants are going to be really loud then allow your shoes to tone them down. A simple pair of dressy lace ups will do the trick and Topman has you covered. The cherry on top of this outfit should be your watch. I recommend choosing one with a very classic face but going for a bright colored band like this GUESS timepiece.

*Bands. No solo acts were considered for this list. Or we all know Bowie would be up here.

#10 - NIRVANA

Kurt Cobain embodies the grunge revolution of the nineties. He synced the music to the laying low layered baggy flannel I-couldn’t-care-less look. It was an anti-fashion statement, a call to his own philosophy with reckless comfort, and thus it became fashion.

#9 – GUNS N ROSES

Of the glam metal hair bands that existed in thick of the eighties, Axel Rose and his lusciously locked bandmates were some of the most authentic in the genre. Their punk tinged solid rocker look made their shaggy manes manly. Power leather, head banging bandanas, faded shrunken graphic tees and hand cut effects complement their genuine rockstar songs.

#8 THE KILLERS

The intrinsic cool of Brandon Flowers emanates throughout The Killers. They create the kind of music that so easily sounds contrived when attempted by others, and the same goes for their look. Their polished quality with major statement, like feather shoulders or fur jackets, embodies both music and style in the best light.

#7 – OUTKAST

Big Boi keeps it hood. André 3000 blasts it into the future while tossing around a twenties vibe. He raised his waistline when no one else did and created mayhem with his look in “Hey Ya!” Their music is as smooth and superfast-paced as their appearance.

#6 – THE CLASH

As key players in the original wave of British punk, their shredded, zipped and right tight aesthetic weighed heavily in the formation of the genre. Their politically driven lyrics are backed by their F-you look and general badassery.

#5 – MGMT

This psych rock group from the here and now is a major reason that American Apparel stocked its shelves with blinding neon. Their exceptional style leads Andrew VanWyngarden and Benjamin Goldwasser to experimentation and wild inspiration. For instance, on their website a fan asks, “What inspired the fashion choice for Lolla[palooza] in Grant Park? You looked pretty hot in those jackets. (In every sense of the word.) Amazing.” Andrew’s answer? Quite amazing indeed.

#4 – LED ZEPPELIN

Gah, it’s effortless. The unbuttoned bare chested sexiness of Robert Plant is only upped by the fur collared leather trench of John Bohnam, complemented by the multi-tonal jacket on John Paul Jones and completed by Jimmy Page‘s slick tweed. Their ever present style had the same air as their music; the loudest, most soulful wails and riffs and rips always rode the chillest undercurrent.

#3 – JIMI HENDRIX EXPERIENCE

Jimi Hendrix dressed like the psychedelic royalty he was. Purple and mind altering patterns enwrapped him as he lit guitars on fire, shredded it with his teeth, and as LSD dripped down from the scarf tied around his head (allegedly). The Experience was a spectacle; heady music enhanced tenfold by the showmanship of Hendrix.

#2 – THE ROLLING STONES

The Stones are the greatest vaudeville act of all time, never ceasing. Clothing slings on their rockstar bodies with ease, as does some of the greatest rock and roll ever performed pour out of them. They started out, much like The Beatles and every early British Invasion band thereafter in straight suits and matching haircuts. With time and money they evolved into wearing spectacle-worthy designer pieces like Mick Jagger’s Prada cock feather fedora or these pants. Keith Richards sparked the eyeliner earringed look that Johnny Depp so famously adopted for Captain Jack Sparrow. Undeniable sex appeal lies as much in their music as in style of larger than life, gender bending (yet deeply masculine) cool. And they’re still at it now.

#1 – THE BEATLES

The boys who brought rock and roll to the masses went through a series of evolutions in their seven years as a band. They began clean cut and mop topped, singing sweet yet earth shaking songs of holding hands, sharing secrets, twisting and shouting above the echoing shrieks and screams of crazed fans across the globe.  Always the epitome of class, they experimented with the finest suiting in the world, and it was Pierre Cardin who introduced them to the Indian Nehru jacket. Once they receded from the touring spotlight, they blossomed further as style icons. Sgt. Pepper and Magical Mystery Tour brought psychedelia to the forefront with neon military regalia, wild paisleys, beads, thin chains, moustaches and acid. Onto The White Album, which they wrote most of while practicing transcendental meditation in an ashram, they developed further spiritually and grew into newer versions of themselves. John Lennon was looking more like Jesus every day, and solidifying his round spectacle staple. Paul McCartney kept charmingly classy, now paring back the brights. George Harrison grew ever more spiritual, keeping a relaxed finery about him. Ringo was actually the most fashionably daring of the four, hamming up the giant rings and divinely accessorizing. The Beatles were indisputable trendsetters as their image and sound transformed through time, transforming the world around them.

David LaChapelle has his own way of doing an art opening. Last night at Paul Kasmin Gallery, for the vernissage of his American Jesus show, he had cameos from Julian Schnabel and Lenny Kravitz (pictured above, with LaChapelle and Amanda Lepore) and a crowd of people photographing him as he danced—in a white caftan, no less. As it happened, there was a Jersey Shore party going on at the same time next door at Marquee—”probably a metaphor for my life,” LaChapelle shrugged.

That life is a busy one at the moment, with Chelsea the latest stop on the attention-getting show’s world tour. The abridged American Jesus exhibition at Paul Kasmin puts extra focus on three photos depicting the late Michael Jackson (well, a lookalike) as Christ and features a striking image of Naomi Campbell as Cleopatra. A broadly expanded version of the show opens at the Tel Aviv Museum of Art later this month. “It’s going to go on until people don’t want to see it any more, I guess,” LaChapelle said at the Standard’s High Line Room, where he was joined by the likes of Cynthia Rowley and Rory Tahari for the post-opening dinner. Speaking of going on, so did the party—the LaChapelle crew adjourned upstairs to the Boom Boom Room for some postprandial dancing, where they mixed with the likes of Yigal Azrouël and J.Crew’s Jenna Lyons. It was the last Boom, so to speak—the final late night of BBR revelry before the space is reborn as a private club after the summer. LaChapelle’s own take on resurrection? “I believe that there’s more to me than what’s contained between my hat and my shoes,” he said.

LINK LOVE:David LaChapelle Celebrates His Own Personal Jesus

Get the Christian in your life something they really want for Easter, a crucifix attached to a leather clutch.

Personally I’d prefer not seeing a dying Jewish man nailed to a cross but I suppose there is a select market for this kind of thing. If you would like the Easter Bunny to send you one of these make sure he has $3,265 or more because that is how much these bad boys are going for. I guess crocodile leather and crucifixion make for an expensive mix.

LINK LOVE: Chic Stories

Angela Lindvall

Lara Stone

Anna Selezneva & Sessilee Lopez

Carmen Kass

Carolyn Murphy

Catherine McNeil

Claudia Schiffer

Daria Werbowy

Doutzen Kroes

Edita Vikeviciute

Erin Wasson

Eva Herzigova

Frankie Rayder

Gisele Bundchen

Isabeli Fontana

Jessica Miller

Kate Moss

Naomi Campbell

Natalia Vodianova

Raquel Zimmermann

SOURCE

LINKAGE: V Magazine 59: Swimsuit Issue

It was so nice of Jesus to come down from above and make himself available for the lens of David LaChapelle, can’t think of anyone else that would do Jesus the justice he deserves on camera…

Happy Easter, or Passover for you non Jesus people!

LINKAGE: Wicked Halo

It’s been a slow news week so we apologize for all the people bashing (not really sorry) so I officially found the greatest news of the day courtesy of TheSuperficial.

Pete Doherty commissioned a sculpture of himself being crucified Jesus-style. Apparently, Pete and his friend artist Nick Reynolds feel Pete is a tortured Messiah, according to The Sun:

The “disturbing artwork” will be carved in marble and show Doherty being tortured, surrounded by strips of newspapers — symbolising his crucifixion by the media. Reynolds insists he came up with the idea a long time ago and it has taken three years to come to fruition.

The Sun received behind-the-scenes photos of the sculpting process from Pete and the irony wasn’t lost on them:

Unfortunately Pete looks more like Han Solo when he is in his carbon coffin in Jabba’s Palace in Star Wars than Michaelangelo’s David.
The exclusive behind-the-scenes pictures above of Pete’s plaster session were given to me — for a bit of publicity. Er, just a minute. Any slight contradiction here, Mr Doherty?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, Pete Doherty comparing himself to Jesus is understandable. They’re both imaginary characters. Makes sense. But Pete Doherty as Han Motherfucking Solo?! BLASPHEMY!