All Entries Tagged With: "Jezebel"

The Bat Mitzvah Money Is Being Spent On Everything But Food

Sorry ladies, but it’s not the kosher diet that is keeping all the Jewish girls stick thin. Apparently, the biggest epidemic in the Jewish community is anorexia. The original thought was that they were seeking to reach an unrealistic image as most women do, but it turns out that many are doing to get away from “looking Jewish”.  I think that the stereotypical Jewish mother is to blame for always being so hard on her daughter. Anorexia was quoted as “The Addiction Of Choice” for Jewish girls, an dI will say they are much worse addictions, but any addiction at all is not healthy.

If Jewish girls want to escape their Jewish features there are always nose jobs and chemically straightening your hair, but anorexia won’t help those. So all you harsh Jewish mothers out there, quit harassing your daughter about how they look, stop your penny pinching and buy your girls some food!

Thanks to Jezebel and The Huffington Post for the tip.

Mag Hag Contest

Jezebel is having a contest that I think we should all participate in. They have been adding up some items that are used in major magazines (such as Elle, Vogue, Lucky, etc) and want you to help. So far they’ve seen a $135,000 Louis Vuitton diamond-encrusted watch, a Chanel dress which would set one back $17,355 and a Fendi 24K-gold mink coat for $64,300.

They’ll be adding up all of the totals from all of the Sept mags into one whopping sum. (So far, Elle’s Total Shit: $1,562,100 and Vogue’s Total Shit: $957,687.)

The reader who can predict the final total dollar amount — without going over — will win a $200 donation to the charity of her or his choice. You may submit your guesses in their comments, and you have until 12 noon tomorrow, EDT.

Crimes of Fashion Past: The International Male 1986

These images are great, thanks Jezebel. The funny part about these is that most of these pieces are still in style and have been remade for todays world. The above look reminds me of something Chuck Bass would wear, and the cropped leather jacket (without the fringe) is still in, not to mention the ski sweaters that many designers remake during fall season. Can’t say much for the onesie though…

Class Is In Session And The Teachers Are All Gay!

Jezebel recently posted an article called “5 Lessons Gay Men Can Teach Straight People” and to say the least it was a bit rediculous. Here’s what they said the number one thing was

1.) Resolving Our Sexual Selves With the Rest of Our Lives Identifying as gay means that your sex life helps defines who you are way more than it does for straight people. Perhaps having it so out there is why it’s so much easier for gay men to embrace their sexuality while also embracing other facets of their lives, like for example, domesticity. Maybe it’s part of the whole virgin/whore thing, but people find it weird when hyper-sexual women are also into things like, say, homemaking. It’s totally accepted that gay men can be equally psyched about going to Bed, Bath, & Beyond and sniffing out a sale on pillows and matching damasks, and going to bed and having marathon sex (maybe in a threesome?). But people still have this stereotype in their minds of what a woman who enjoys filthy sex should be like. We should all accept that women, too, are multi-faceted creatures who might be into sucking a dick one night, and tatting a doily another; nailing a picture to the wall one night, or getting nailed against a wall another.

Within the article I suppose there are a few things that are valid and could be looked at as not completely absurd. Regardless, there a few things that gay men aren’t too keen on as well. So in honor of “5 Lessons Gay Men Can Teach Straight Couples,” I am coming up with 5 Reasons Why Straight Couples Can’t Be Like Gay Men.

5. Hormonal differences: Men and women have completely different natural instincts and genetic make up, which is why we can’t stand each other most of the time. Gay men get along so well because they are made of the same stuff and both know every lyric to Celine Dion’s greatest hits.

4. Appeal: Straight men have to appeal to women which limits the outlandish dress and sexuality they can display. Gay Men are trying to appeal to the same sex. This is much easier because a gay man knows what all gay men are looking for: a man in pleather spandex pants, a mesh tank top, colored oversized sunglasses and a baret, who looks like Jeremy Piven. 

3. Expectations: Most men want to take the girl back to their placr at the end of the night. Most women don’t like to have sex on the first date. Well when there are two men looking for sex it is much easier to get laid. Every man wants sex at the end of the night, but every girl doesn’t.

2. Knocked Up: That movie could totally happen in real life, and it wasn’t funny for the straight community. Late periods for your girlfriend can leave you feeling sick for days until the storm has passed. Gay men got to laugh and enjoy that movie, well I didn’t, I was terrified. It’s terrifying movies like that and pregnancy scares that keep straight couples out of the bedroom for days. 

1. Child Birth: If we don’t do it then who will? Gay men have the oppurtunity to stay young and adventurous longer because they don’t have to worry about kids until they want to. That cousin you have that has a 15 year age difference from the rest of his brothers and sisters, and could be part cyclops: Gay men don’t have to worry about that.

To get the rest of Jezebel’s list click here!

*Please note this post is intended to be rediculous. I don’t believe everything I wrote, but there are some basic concepts there that I think are valid.

Jezebel Comes Clean

So Jezebel came clean today on their April Foolery.  But in the interim they received a shit load of hate male for making people believe that they actually did get in bed with Conde Nasty.  Pretty hilarious comments on their site today, but this gem really floats my boat…

“Hi Gals! That was so fantastic when you suggested that we really start getting acquainted. Hi, Jezebels! My name is Perez Hilton. Now, before you go any farther, you should know that that is a french name and it’s pronounced “Pa-RAY Heel-TONE.” I have to do that with everyone I meet because when you are descended from Joan of Freaking Arc (pardon my french!), it’s important to set people straight. Don’t you just love the Internet? Anyways, for the record, my dress size is a 27D and my shoe size is a 16 and a half. Who says that the french are all petities? At least here in Illinois we proud descendants of the french come in all shapes and sizes. Take that picture I am enclosing. I am a proud Lady of Size who is not afraid to declare my feminine features. Fat and happy, that’s me. Except when I am partying with my friends Dr. Peppers, Red Bulls, and Cheetos. Then I’m not so happy because I know it’s going to catch up with me later. Dutch oven style, if you know

what I mean. Love you, love your new Site! Perez “Puffy” Hilton.”

Who’s the prettiest tranny in the world?

Jezebel Sells It’s Soul to Conde Nast

Jezebel was purchased by Conde Nast. The site for Celebrity. Sex. Fashion, Without Airbrushing has finally called it quits and sold it’s soul to the devil and made it’s way into hell. Yay, they sucked anyways.  If you want fashion that’s not controlled by Wintour, be sure to keep it here.  If you want editorials reminiscent of that issue of OK Magazine your dog just shit on, well Jezebel.com’s for you.

Oka, I know it’s a big joke, but for one full day Jezebel looked like it was being run by the Fashionista Girls. Thank god it was only a joke.