Photo: Image Amplified

Roitfeld curated a fashion show — the first in Cannes’ 65-year-history — featuring designs by Tom Ford, Versace, Christopher Kane and Lanvin, with the clothes auctioned off as a single lot for €300,000 (about $377,000).

Other big ticket items included a role in a short film directed by Karl Lagerfeld and produced by Harvey Weinstein, which went for €850,000 ($1,069,000); a private photo shoot with legendary lensman Peter Lindbergh was auctioned off for €90,000 ($113,000); and a signed print of Andy Warhol‘s Marilyn 29, 1967 sold for €600,000 ($754,000). [Telegraph]

Photo: Image Amplified

- Carine Roitfeld staged her all-black runway show during the amfAR Gala featuring models Lindsey Wixson, Karolina Kurkova and Lily Donaldson in looks by Chanel, Balenciaga and Versace. [Styleite]

- True Blood‘s Grant Bowler will play Richard Burton to Lindsay Lohan‘s Elizabeth Taylor in Lifetime’s Liz & Dick. [Deadline]

- Beth Ditto on Karl Lagerfeld calling Adele fat: “First of all, Karl Lagerfeld is not even sane…[and he] used to be this really fat, eccentric dude. He always had that fat kid fan with him too. To me, only a person who was fat could get away with saying something like that.” [Vogue UK]

- This is what the debut of Kanye West‘s mult-screen film debut at Cannes looked like. [High Snobiety]

- Happy Fleet Week, sailors! Here are some events for the queer seamen that will hopefully be in all of us. [Paper]

- Britney Spears walked out on the taping of an episode of X Factor, much like Paula Abdul did last season. And also like Paula, I’m assuming there’s a mix of meds involved. [Deadline]

- Keira Knightley is engaged to boyfriend James Righton from British indie rock band Klaxons. [Telegraph]

- On June 1 in Paris Christian Lacroix is opening its first boutique since going bankrupt in 2009. [Telegraph]

- Wearing skinny jeans can apparently cause nerve damage. [ABC]

- Florence Welch got her scrapbooking on with bff Karl Lagerfeld. [Fashionista]

- Harvey Weinstein wants to put Lana Del Rey in a movie. [Grazia]

- Drew Barrymore may be wearing Chanel on her wedding day. [Page Six]

- Opening Ceremony is coming to print.

- Blinged-out nails.

- “Every cutie wit a booty bought a Coogi.”

- Boy bands are back in fashion and in style.

- These musician’s ink stink.

- Whitney Houston videography.

- Jewelry you can jam to.

- Karl Lagerfeld plays God and Snoop Dogg pimps himself out in a music video.

- The insanely bizarre lengths we’ll go to for beauty.

- J.Lo is the most powerful celebrity in the world.

- Skechers ordered to shape-up lies about Shape-ups.

- 5-minute masks.

- Music’s most fashionable album covers.

- Match your outfit to your drug of choice.

- 60s rock & roll style with Peter Asher.

- Cannes Film Festival trend report.

- Dolce & Gabbana lipstick-off.

- Have you ever stared at your closet and thought, “my clothes could really use a little more male genitalia?”

- Donna Summer music and style retrospective.

- Tips on dressing for a wedding.

- Chanel staged its 2012 Cruise collection at the Palace at Versailles with guests Tilda Swinton, Haider Ackermann and Karl Lagerfeld‘s plaid vest. [Grazia]

- Olympian hotties Hope Solo, Ryan Lochte and Serena Williams grace the June issue of Vogue. [Styleite]

- Aquascutum‘s out of the woods for now and is celebrating with a new CEO in Tim Dally. [Vogue UK]

- The UK’s Royal Mail has come out with some sartorial stamps celebrating post-war British fashion with postage bearing designs by Alexander McQueen, Vivienne Westwood and Zandra Rhodes. [Style File]

- Jessica Simpson is wasting no time cashing in on little Maxwell Drew with a maternity line in the works. [The Cut]

- Coty celebrated the 10 year anniversary of  Jennifer Lopez ‘s signature fragrance, “Glow,” one of the most successful scents in history with almost $2 billion in sales — or in other terms, more than all of her movies have grossed put together…multiplied by a million. [WWD]

- Isabeli Fontana will walk down the aisle for the third time when she weds Lauryn Hill‘s baby daddy, i.e. Rohan Marley in Ethiopia at some point in time. [Modelinia]

- This is Daphne Guinness singing Jefferson Airplane‘s “White Rabbit.” Just ’cause. [Paper]

- Jessica Simpson can barely give her baby photos away. The new mother has sold them for a mere $800,000 to People, a paltry pittance compared to Jennifer Lopez‘s $6 million and even Matthew McCounaghey‘s $3 million. It’s a sad day when you can’t even pull that Wooderson dough. [WWD]

- Who needs someone to put a ring on it when you look this damn good? Male model and lithe lady Andrej Pejic graced the Rosa Clara runway during Barcelona Bridal Week, thus upstaging every other biological woman. [Styleite]

- Rihanna‘s got a second capsule collection for Armani Jeans. [Refinery29]

- Giorgio Armani has thrown his hat into the Olympic ring, designing uniforms for the Italian team and joining the ranks of America’s Ralph Lauren and the UK’s Stella McCartney for what he calls “the most fashionable Olympic Games ever.”  Well, considering athletes used to run around naked, perhaps it’s not that big of a deal. [Telegraph]

- Director Fabien Constant has gained “unprecedented access” to Carine Roitfeld as he films the creation of her new magazine, CR Fashion Book, for the documentary Mademoiselle C, which will feature interviews with besties Karl Lagerfeld, Tom Ford and Donatella Versace. [Fashionologie]

- Rumor has it John Galliano might take over the relaunched Schiaparelli label, though the man behind the relaunch, Diego Della Vale, remains cagey saying he expects to hire someone by September. P.S. I’m totes taking credit for said rumor. [NYT]

- Gwyneth Paltrow is the new face of “Boss Nuit Pour Femme” fragrance by Hugo Boss. The actress, singer, lifestyle guru and all-around brick house will appear in TV, print and online ads for the scent, inspired by the little black dress. [WWD, sub req'd]

The collection is part of Macy’s Impulse imprint, which has previously included the likes of Giambattista Valli, Karl Lagerfeld, Doo.Ri Chung and most recently Alberta Ferretti. Featuring 24 to 30 styles, Richie’s line will only be available at about 100 Macy’s stores and online at macys.com.

According to the reality star cum designer cum reality star cum designer, the Macy’s collection “represents the many different layers of a modern woman. Women are wearing so many different hats these days. We are evolving. Not just working, but creating. This collection has a strong mix of masculine and feminine: printed chiffon mixed with faux leathers. I focused on the details, from the zipper pulls to the buttons.”

While Impulse collections are usually on sale for six weeks, Macy’s expects Nicole Richie’s offering to sell out in as soon as two weeks due to her popularity…so that means you still have a few months to prepare to snatch all those printed chiffon and faux leather confections from the apparel-hungry claws of other die-hard Fashion Star fans. [WWD, sub req'd]

- Seems like brownface doesn’t really fly these days. One of Ashton Kutcher‘s Popchips ads, in which he plays an Indian man, was deemed racist by people with eyes and ears and subsequently taken down. No word if the NAAKL, the National Association for the Advancement of Karl Lagerfeld, plans on any legal action. [NY Post]

- Nicholas Kirkwood wants the Duchess of Cambridge to step up her shoe game. Ah, if only one day Kate Middleton hoofed it in a sky-high tranny heel, the world would be a much better place. Or at least a much more fierce place. [Grazia]

- Cameron Diaz says she burst into tears following her super short (and super unflattering) haircut. But honestly, who didn’t? [Us]

- The makers of UGGs are getting $686 million from 3000 Chinese websites accused of selling counterfeit boots. Was it really worth it China? [Huff Po]

- Courtney Love lost the publicity rights to Kurt Cobain‘s name, likeness and appearance some time in 2010 in exchange for a loan from daughter Frances Bean‘s trust. Stories like this are really what Mother’s Day is all about. [Vulture]

- V Magazine dived into the dumpster America is currently wading through where they found Ke$ha and threw her on the cover of its “Americana Issue.” [WOWWOW.ME]

- Ashton Kutcher reminds us that at some point he was considered an actor with this spoof of Karl Lagerfeld for Pop Chips. Meanwhile, it would’ve been easier just to get the Kaiser himself, since he clearly has no qualms or standards when it comes to shilling. [Fashionista]

- Aquascutum has found a savior in Hong Kong-based YGM Trading Ltd. which will acquire all of the Brit label’s business and assets by May 9. [Vogue UK]

- Balmain decided to follow in Calvin Klein‘s dated footstep by getting in on the social media game with both a Facebook and a Twitter. [WWD]

- David and Victoria Beckham were forced to kiss in front of a stadium of screaming fans after they were spotted on the Kiss Cam at a Lakers game. Surprisingly, no one was grossed out by it. [The Cut]

- Christy Turlington (Burns) is launching a crusade against Mother’s Day. The super’s No Mother’s Day campaign is designed to raise awareness about the hundreds of thousands of women around the world who die each year from complications related to pregnancy or childbirth. [No Mothers Day]

- Macy’s is taking its bar III brand on the road with a series of  flea markets across the country starting this weekend in New York with the Hester St Fair on Saturday and the Green Flea on Sunday. [FI]

Make like Grace Kelly and steal off like a Thief into the sun in a convertible and a pair of summer driving gloves with your own Carey Grant.

Banks previously tweeted that she would attend the annual ball on the birdlike arm of Alexander Wang: “I can’t wait for the MET ball! I’m going as Alexander Wang’s date. He custom made my outfit and shoes ! !!!! It’s soooo hot !”

Then yesterday she revealed, also via tweet, that Cinderella/Rapunxel was not only going to the ball but also werqing the ball: “I’ve Been invited to Perform for PRADA next week in NYC! Gonna b so lush !! Let’s see what new songs I debut there!#metball2012″

Both posts have since disappeared but a tweet’s not like a regrettable one-night stand you can pretend never happened. It’s more like the resulting venereal disease that will haunt you for the rest of your days.

Anyway, let’s all hope for pictures of Anna Wintour sweeping the floor with her ass as she, Grace Coddington and André Leon Talley shut down the dancefloor. [Styleite]

Lagerfeld, left, and Saint Laurent, center

Way before the advent of the Project Runways (and its alleged All-Stars), the The Fashion Shows and the Fashion Stars, there was one illustrious design competition that actually set out to do what those shows only dream of doing: producing a design superstar. In 1955, the Australian Wool Industry‘s International Wool Secretariat prize produced two, Lagerfed and Saint Laurent. Lagerfeld won in the coats category, Saint Laurent in the dresses category, and the rest is history.

A thousand years later, AWI wants to make wool hip again(?) and in the process give a  few lucky designers a couple thousand bucks. AWI will hold regional design contests in China, Australia, India, Italy, the UK and France, with each finalist receiving cash money towards their next collection and a chance to participate in the international final.

The international finalist will be crowned in March 2013 and will receive $100,000 to underwrite their next fashion show, and their collections will be sold in Harvey Nichols in the UK, Lane Crawford in China, Eickhoff in Germany and Bergdorf Goodman in the US.

The US judging will take place on July 9 in New York with a panel of judges that includes CFDA CEO Steven Kolb, Narciso Rodriguez and T: The New York Times Style Magazine EIC Sally Singer. The international judging will he held in September during London Fashion Week where Diane von Fursteberg and Vogue Italia editrix Franca Sozzani will be among the judges. Designers are required to submit sketches of a six-piece merino wool capsule collection with one outfit fully produced.

Kolb has said that the CFDA has already received some 25 applications, not just from emerging designers but also brands “who could use a boost.” Although we’re not talking about the Calvin Kleins but rather small business owners. So to paraphrase another famous fashion competition,  ”Designers, start your engines…and may the best merino…WIN!” [WWD, sub req'd]

Lagerfeld, left, and Saint Laurent, center

- Alessandra Ambrosio jumped on the posing naked while pregnant bandwagon that really should’ve buckled under Jessica Simpson weeks ago for this ad by jeweler Vivara. [Styleite]

- Before he was a Trannsylvanian vampire and even before he was a Bavarian cream puff, Karl Lagerfeld wanted to pump. You. Up. [Fashionista]

- Victoria Beckham designed a limited edition Range Rover costing about $130,000 and inspired by, among other things, her father’s Rolls Royce. They didn’t call her Posh for nuttin’. [Telegraph]

- Legendary lensman Mario Testino launched a new website featuring a searchable archive of his work, so now you can play “Guess What Kate Moss Was On?” throughout the years. [Style File]

- Abbey Lee Kershaw will make her film debut in Mad Max 4, which is sadly not called Way Beyond Thunderdome, as one of the scarce beautiful women who are locked up in cages. Sounds like an ordinary day on the job. [Modelinia]

Link Love: Vogue UK

Tom Ford on personally test driving his beauty collection: "I put every single thing on -- I don't wear it down the street, but I want to see how it covers, how it works. When you put your name on something, you want people to know you believe in it." Tom Ford on his incredible shyness: "I'm the face of the brand. With Chanel, you feel that Karl Lagerfeld's personality has really melded with Coco's - but not everyone knows yet who I am, so that's why I'm in the pictures. I don't like having my picture taken but it helps people to respond. My real life's not like the fantasy Tom Ford world - with naked girls pouring perfume everywhere. It's more staying in and watching Friends on television." Tom Ford on why he eschews the runway: "The reason I present in a small controlled way is that so much of what makes my clothes special is the cut, the stitching, the lining -- things that would be lost on the catwalk. On the catwalk you have to exaggerate, almost."

Natalia Vodianova on dieting: "The only diet I have ever done is the blood type diet -- I have done it for five years now. The big contracts go to the girls who are healthy - they need to have a sparkle in their eyes and you can't fake that if you're unhealthy." Natalia Vodianova on negativity: "I think it's really important to say no in this industry actually, it's more important than saying yes. I believe it is very much about saying no, and fighting for what you think you deserve." Eva Herzigova on being a 90s super: "It's a different time now - [the supermodel phenomenon] was a trend," she said. "The woman was much more feminine then, and we took longer to build up our careers. Modelling is very much based on experience."

Jourdan Dunn on healthy body image: "I've learnt to accept my flaws - I hated being skinny and lanky growing up. I think I'm fine so I've decided that no one can tell me otherwise. OK I'm skinny -- what's next, let's move on!"

Diane von Furstenberg on independent women, part 1: "I was on an early flight one morning and I was the only woman on the plane. On the same day, I'd managed to make it onto the cover of the Wall Street Journal -- which I had bought for the journey. There was a man sitting next to me on the plane and he kept staring at my legs and nudging me in the way someone does when they want to talk to you, but don't know what to say. So instead, the first thing he said to me was: 'Why would a girl like you be reading Wall Street Journal?' I looked at him like 'you jerk'. I never said to him, 'look you idiot, I'm on the cover!' Of all the satisfactions I've ever had in my life, that was the biggest." Diane von Furstenberg on independent women, part 2: "I didn't know what I wanted to do, I just knew the sort of woman I wanted to be. I wanted to be independent, I wanted to have my own money and be able to stand on my own - not the type of woman that waits for a man to call."

Stella McCartney and Kate Hudson on Keith Richards: "We met at the VH1 Fashion Awards. I saw her -- she was so cool -- standing in this doorway with Keith Richards." - Kate "I always carry Keith Richards with me in my handbag so I look cool." - Stella Stella McCartney on counterfeiting: "Part of you thinks, 'that's really annoying - we worked really hard on that. But my CEO came in one day so happy and said: 'My mum just saw a fake Falabella Bag in Marbella!' I suppose it does show you've hit kind of a sweet spot if people are copying you. But with the Silhouette Dress and the Polkadot Dress last season, we did have to send a few little letters reminding people that maybe it's not a good idea."

David Bailey on Cecil Beaton: "I mean, I was always a big fan of Cecil - but he was the most terrible middle-class snob." David Bailey on feminism: "I had a terrible time with feminists in the Seventies. They hated me, those women. I think they hated everything."

Stefano Gabbana on Domenico Dolce: "We are in love. It's a different kind of love, but we love each other. It's a difficult word to explain, but there's no real difference in the way we work together. We have a better level of understanding and tolerance maybe since separating romantically. People are jealous of what we have: still being in love and being able to make something interesting - we are strong and that's disturbing to some people. Domenico is like my family - even though we're not a couple any more. I have a brother, a mother, and Domenico... it has been a 20-year love affair." Domenico Dolce on underage models: "People say: 'Models are so young, they're so skinny.' But Mr. Balenciaga used models at 16 and that will never change. People say they are skinny, but there is a difference between skinny and sick. If someone is sick, they're sick. It's not because of fashion. If I have flu, I have flu; it's not because I work in fashion." Stefano Gabbana on shuttering the D&G line: "When we decided to do it, the people [stockholders] called us, going crazy - but we need to do it. Chanel has one label; Gucci; Vuitton - why do we need D&G? The people call Dolce & Gabbana 'D&G' - it is the symbol for Dolce & Gabbana, there's no need for us to have two labels." Stefano Gabbana on Madonna: "We went to see her on the Blond Ambition tour, we were big fans. We were watching the show - she was wearing Jean Paul Gaultier then - and I said to Domenico: 'Imagine if one day she wore Dolce & Gabbana.' Then we picked up the paper and there she was, in one of our dresses...She's beautiful, she's mature, she's a mother - like Isabella Rossellini or Monica Bellucci. She's a real woman."

Rachel Zoe on one of her fave jobs-well-done: "Anne Hathaway at the Venice Film Festival 2008 was a really good one. She wore an Atelier Versace celadon green gown and she looked just like the quintessential movie star. Literally - I gasped for air." Rachel Zoe on avoiding wardrobe malfunctions: "One of the things I'm most militant about is proper undergarments. Dress transparency can be a real issue! I photograph my clients in their dresses from the front, from the back, from the side, inside, outside, under hot lights... it needs to be an outfit that looks good from all angles and where potential disasters are kept to a minimum."

- Proving that she’s been shutting shit down for several decades, Michelle Obama‘s prom photo has recently surfaced and we’re talking satin, a thigh-high slit and décolletage for days. Take a note, trash. Meanwhile, Barack sure looked different back in the day — this must have been before he stopped smoking pot. [Telegraph]

- 161-year-old British label Aquascutum is close to shuttering its doors and laying off its 250 workers after officially going into administration today. [Financial Times]

- Now you too can smell like a stupid hoe. Nicki Minaj is, naturally, coming out with her own fragrance with the same monsters people behind Justin Bieber‘s Someday. [Coco Perez]

- The Huffington Post is among the winners of this year’s Pulitzer Prizes (for national reporting) though no Prizes were given out for fiction…unless you count The Huffington Post. [WWD]

- One Million Moms, apparently still licking their wounds over losing out to JCPenneys and its pantusit-wearing lesbian abomination, have set their sights on Urban Outfitters and its catalog which features two girls kissing. Strap yourself in, kids, we’re taking a direct flight to hell. [The Cut]

Since the bottles are only getting European distribution, you're more likely to find this collector's box at specialty stores here. Want it?

- What’s American for “Ooh la la”? Vogue Paris may now be available in English following a mysterious tweet by the mag earlier today. [The Cut]

- Fierce Lady of the United States/renowned HBIC Michelle ”Guns” Obama covers the May issue of Ebony magazine where apparently she addresses the issue of burning in hell following a one night stand. Literally, it’s the FLOTUS, show some respect and save that smut for Cosmo. [Styleite]

- Clearly bored and seeking a completely irreverent challenge, Karl Lagerfeld will soon be designing helicopters. But  not just any helicopters, VIP helicopters. It’s not known whether they will be large enough for a full-scale fashion show. [WWD]

- PETA didn’t take too kindly to Kanye West‘s suggestion that someone tell them his “mink is draggin’ on the floor” in his new song “Theraflu” and responded by hitting him below his costumey caveman belt. [Elle]

- Kim Kardashian, however, is “lovin’” the song and apparently Kanye as well. [TMZ]

- Barbie‘s running for President…although she looks more like Jackie O.‘s lesser known slutty sister Candy O. [Refinery29]

- Gareth Pugh‘s costumes for the Royal Opera House production of the ballet Carbon Life — which also features music by Mark Ronson — and it’s safe to say this is not your traditional tutu. Which is perhaps the only safe thing about this. [Telegraph]

- While American Apparel is too salacious for the Brits, David Beckham is only “mildly sexual.” There may be a few million ladies who’d beg to differ. [Vogue UK]

- Karl Lagerfeld may have sent Adele a few “I’m sorry” Chanel handbags after calling her “a little too fat.” In other news, Karl Lagerfeld called me a “tawdry skank.” I’ll take my apology in couture. [The Cut]

- Tranny, get your gown! Disqualified and disgraced transgendered beauty queen Jenna Talackova may be allowed to compete in the Miss Universe Canada pageant after all. [Styleite]

- Unofficial sexiest man alive Ryan Gosling allegedly saved some crazy lady journalist with a pink wig — that somehow factors into the story — from getting hit by a taxi. [Celebitchy]

- The trailer for Whitney Houston‘s final film has hit the interwebs prompting the all-important question: where’s the goddamn posthumous Oscar? [MTV]

Illustrating this theme, the mag profiles three particular individuals at different stages of their career: “the Breakout” Joseph Altuzarra, “the Artiste” Georgina Chapman of Marchesa and “the Dreamer” Alber Elbaz.

Elbaz, known for being the most adorable of high fashion designers, is surprisingly candid in his interview and reveals there are claws behind that bowtie. To wit, my favorite quote: “I always say I cannot work with bitches; they block my creativity.” And I don’t think he’s talking about the dog variety.

Elbaz even discusses being looked over for the creative director position at Yves Saint Laurent, despite being handpicked by the late designer himself, for Tom Ford: “As I say to people, I was never just Alber from Saint Laurent, and I an not Alber from Lanvin.  I am Alber, period.  That’s why I might have been hurt, but I was not dead.  It didn’t kill me.”

The issue also features an interview with Giorgio Armani who reveals his dashed hopes of being Paul Newman, as well as a conversation with Karl Lagerfeld and Carine Roitfeld on Chanel‘s upcoming Little Black Jacket book that is predictably amazing:

CR: “The first Chanel jacket that I saw – that I knew was Chanel – was on TV.  It was on Mrs. Kennedy – the pink one.”
KL:  “In 1963.  It was a fake, a line-by-line copy by Cassini.  She did have real Chanels, [but] her sister ordered them.  We have all the proof.”

Only Karl Lagerfeld would have the balls to read Jackie O. Catch this and other fun fashion tidbits when Style.com/Print #2 comes out April 2.

- Some noble citizen, perhaps mistaking the launch of Kim Karashian‘s new fragrance for a Viktor & Rolf event, flour-bombed the unsuspecting reality star on her own red carpet. [Styleite]

- Carine Roitfield‘s magazine will drop in September, come out twice a year, resemble a book and will focus on “fashion with a lot of freedom.” [WWD]

- Newsweek and Tina Brown want Karl Lagerfeld to know that they’re not dying but are actually doing just fine, thanks. [Fashionista]

- Franca Sozzani will be delivering a lecture at Harvard in April about body image and eating disorders and this is how she plans on going about it. [Stylelist]

- Marc Jacobs is taking his stolen collection with tongue firmly in cheek and cash firmly in wallet, offering a T-shirt featuring a wanted poster for the alleged thief. [Racked]

While in Tokyo for their Fashion Week, a journalist asked Herr Lagerfeld what he thought of the article and without missing a beat, the ponytailed one let loose the wrath of a thousand backhands:

“First of all, Tina Brown’s magazine is not doing well at all…She is dying. I’m sorry for Tina Brown, who was such a success at Vanity Fair, to go down with a shitty little paper like this. I’m sorry.”

This is not the first time Lagerfeld’s expressed his regret over Brown and Newsweek. During his much-ballyhooed guest editor stint at Metro, Uncle Karl also stated:

“I feel sorry for Tina Brown that her paper is really going down. It’s so skinny, it’s really what we call a ‘diet issue’ because it has no advertising and she certainly will not get advertising with this kind of article. I’ve never heard of this journalist [Robin Givhan] before, except for what she had written about Mrs. Obama, which made me already not like her — the journalist, not Mrs. Obama.”

And that is what we call shade. It’s highly unlikely that Karl Lagerfeld — always with his finger on the pulse of popular culture — has “never heard of” Robin Givhan, the first and only fashion journalist to win a Pulitzer Prize. In 2006, she was awarded the prestigious honor “for her witty, closely observed essays that transform fashion criticism into cultural criticism.”

One would think that after a thousand years or so, Lagerfeld would be used to criticism — even Pultizer Prize-winning criticism — though I guess once one gets to a certain point, one feels above reproach. But also after a certain point, and after a certain degree of success, everyone’s overrated. It’s what, to quote Blackglama, becomes a legend most.

- Demi Moore may have been keeping a low profile after whipping it good, but this image from her latest Helena Rubenstein campaign could use a little more subtlety in the Photoshopping department. I mean, did they leave any of the poor woman’s skin in tact? [Telegraph]

- A day in the life of Karl Lagerfeld: wake up after exactly 7 hours of sleep, freebase Diet Coke all day, whitewash his hair, feed on some villagers and somewhere along the way he does his 12,000 little side projects. Repeat. [Harper's Bazaar]

- Alexander Wang was conspicuously absent from The Ethisphere Institute’s “World’s Most Ethical Companies,” though Gap, Target and L’Oréal made the list. [WWD]

- Adriana Lima confirmed today that she’s pregnant with her second child, meaning she’ll still be rockin’ her “bikini bod” well into her third trimester. Because that’s how fair life is. [People]

- Katy Perry and Baptiste Giabiconi are apparently still happening, despite no one actually caring or buying it for one second. It’s called commitment, kids. [The Cut]

At Karl.com you can shop the collection — though they’re currently only shipping to France, Germany, Italy and the UK –, get the latest scoop on Karl’s comings and goings, and take a peek into the “World of Karl.”

The highlight of said world is no doubt Herr Lagerrfeld’s “Karlisms,” since the Kaiser is always great for a quote. To wit:

“If someone gives me a to-do list, I say ‘Thank you, this is nice.’ One needs things to throw in the wastebasket.”

“I know how annoying, impossible and hard to please I can be. I wouldn’t recommend myself as a guest to anyone.”

“The best things I’ve done in my life, I saw them in my sleep. This is why I have a sketch book in my bed.”

Well, that explains the sketchbook, but what about the video camera and gag ball? Anyhoo, take a trek through Uncle Karl’s newest project and learn about his other, even newer projects like his upcoming stint as guest editor for French Architectural Digest.

Seriously, how many Karl Klones does he have running around these days to get all this crap done? [WWD]

Luckily this is all just for an editorial and has absolutely no resemblance to Karl Lagerfeld’s actual existence, which I think still takes place in a Transylvanian castle where even the most intrepid of travelers fear to tread.

Further proving my point, Uncle Karl’s take on grocery shopping: “It’s the first time I’ve stepped into a supermarket. It’s crazy — fascinating what one can buy. There’s enough here to easily gain 20 kilos.”

By someone used to getting his food mama-birded to him by Baptiste Giabiconi, food shopping would be an awkward experience. Much like driving: “I haven’t driven since I was 18, and that’s a benefit to society because I ended up in a ditch, without knowing why!”

To be fair, however, it was the 1800s and no one had invented paved roads yet. [WWD]

Though, if you dress like Karl, you know that fingerless gloves, a powdered wig and a thousand layers of suit are all-weather appropriate.

Touch the gloves above to see more deets and to make them yours.

Originally $44, now $9.99. You’ll get just the amount of wear out of them at the end of this season for them to be pristine for Fall 2012.

- Vogue Italia‘s “Haute Mess” editorial has been accused of being “insensitive and condescending towards low-income stereotypes.” Meanwhile, those low-income stereotypes have been setting trends for ages so the only insensitive thing is the lack of royalties. As a wise woman once said, “Show me the receipts.” [Refinery29]

- Take a walk in Kate Middleton‘s shoes when the Duchess of Cambridge‘s go-to supplier of sensible wedges, L.K. Bennett, opens its first store in New York. [Racked]

- How…reductive. Madonna recycled some unused “Vogue” footage, threw in top models Sean O’Pry and Jon Kortajarena making out over an apple, added Simon Nessman and Rob Evans to round out her cougar gang bang party and called it her “Girl Gone Wild” video.

- It’ll be a Black Swan sequel of sorts when Oscar-winning prima ballerina Natalie Portman reunites with her co-star/choreographer/baby daddy Benjamin Millepied and Rodarte’s Kate and Laura Mulleavy –  for the New York Ballet’s Spring 2012 Gala. [Elle]

- Marc Jacobs continues to generally not give a fuck. In a recently-released profile in Time, Jacobs addresses his controversial use of underage models, saying, “You have child actors and children who model for catalogs…What’s the difference between doing a commercial for peanut butter and being on a runway?” Well, less cocaine, for one. [The Cut]

- Apparently not harboring any hard feelings, the model who blogged about Marc Jacobs’ unfair compensation policies recently walked in the designer’s Louis Vuitton show. [The Cut]

- Come see the soft porn side of Sears. Retailer is classing it up with “Hung Like Daddy” shirts for toddlers. [Fashionista]

- A posthumous Aaliyah album may be in the works, thus rendering every female R&B star of the past ten years not named Beyoncé essentially useless. [Vibe]

- Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Robin Givhan was kicked out of her usual front row seat at Chanel for a scathing critique of Karl Lagerfeld. Well at least her seat went to a blogger, socialite or D-list celebrity — which could easily be the same person.[The Cut]

- Sara Blakely, the lady who invented Spanx, is a billionaire. Who knew there was gold in them cottage cheese thighs? [Huff Po]

As the “Serial Designer,” Gaultier shares the screen with some sassy British popstar puppet named Irene and in the first video helps her find her inner rock chick with the help of some miniature leather and lace.

I’m not sure that Gaultier will lend his image and/or expertise to Coke’s range of non-diet drinks but as a fashion designer it would be irresponsible of him to advocate anything with caloric content. [Vogue UK]

- Abercrombie & Fitch employees are apparently forced to do push-ups and squats as punishment, which seems excessive since breathing in that tonic water they call cologne on a daily basis is punishment enough. [Huff Po]

- Damn you, Demi Moore, do you know what you hath wrought? Jessica Simpson is the latest, but certainly not the last, starlet to jump on the exposed and expecting bandwagon, as she bares her belly for the April issue of Elle. [Elle]

- Five designers imagined the wedding dress of another preggers “celeb” “mom,” Snooki, and as you can imagine, it’s an exercise in pure class. [R29]

- Marc Jacobs, eat your heart out because Karl Lagerfeld‘s got the market cornered on underage models. Hudson Kroenig, the adorable offspring of male supermodel Brad Kroenig, walked the Chanel show after Uncle Karl literally came calling. [NYT]

- Speaking of Ms. Jacobs, his name was once again brought up for the Dior job courtesy of Miu Miu‘s front row gossip. Just let it go, kids. [Vogue UK]

- Karl Lagerfeld, because he has a few spare seconds on his hands, will draw political cartoons for French Elle. [WWD]

- Who wants to see drunk celebrities making out in Vanity Fair‘s Oscars Photo Booth? Note that Diddy chose to go it alone since he and his ego have been in a committed relationship for the better part of a decade. [Vanity Fair]

- A recent study proposed that putting laws into effect that would ban images of super thin women might be worthwhile, i.e. monetarily sound. [Styleite]

- Feds in New Jersey uncovered one of the largest counterfeit rings ever to fake its way through America, to the tune of over $300 million. [HuffPo]

- Topshop Unique‘s “Cleopatra” collection, despite being critically-maligned, is the biggest and fastest selling Unique collection ever thanks in large parts to celebrities like Rihanna wearing it out and about town. [Telegraph]

Based solely on a delivery of flowers to the Dior atelier addressed to Ackermann, Vogue UK has started the ball rolling on another round of conjecture. While Karl Lagerfeld has made his intentions clear that he would like Ackermann to take over for him at Chanel once he dies retires, the same clearly cannot be said for Dior.

As for Simons, the mag reports that negotiations with Dior may have stalled — sound familiar? — and that Bill Gaytten‘s appointment may have been extended.

Gaytten is busy prepping the Christian Dior fall 2012 collection, but according to the Telegraph, his success at the luxury house — as well as his 17 years of loyalty — may not go unrecognized. Dior’s sales are booming so there may be no need to fix the formula if ain’t broke to begin with.

Either way, stay tuned…

Photos: Image Amplified

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Prince Pierre Casiraghi

At Double Seven, a club in the Meatpacking District — New York’s most elegant dumpster —  Monaco’s Prince Pierre Casiraghi, third in line to the throne and grandson of Grace Kelly, was poppin’ bottles with pals Diego Marroquin, noted Carine Roitfeld scion Vladimir Restoin-Roitfeld, Paris Hilton‘s ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos and his current girlfriend, model Jessica Hart.

In the other corner, Adam Hock  owner of the now-defunct Hawaiian Tropic Zone — okay, “man of the people” might have been a stretch –was livin’ it up with supermodels Anja Rubik and Natasha Poly, ordinary model Valentina Zelyaeva and Poly’s husband Peter Bakker at the table of Double Seven owner, Jeffrey Jah.

Accounts vary on who instigated the confrontation and why. In one version of the story, Casiraghi and co. were upset they weren’t seated at Jah’s table, presumably the best table in the house, and rolled up on team Hock. There they started getting all kinds of aggressive and even dared to drink from Hock’s $500 bottle of Grey Goose — I mean, people have died for less.

The Incredible Hock

Another version has it that Hock just hulked out for no reason and started throwing haymakers. Still another chalks it all up to everyone being too drunk and not knowing what the hell was going on.

What is clear, however, is that Prince Pierre Casiraghi got his shit seriously rocked. Hock knocked him across the room, broke his jaw, leaving him — as one witness puts it — “disfigured” — and sending him to the hospital. At one point, someone even tried to hit Hock with a bottle of vodka, but that just made Hock angry. Then he beat up the prince’s three friends before the models — god bless them — broke it up.

Of course that act of altruism didn’t stop Jessica Hart from reportedly screaming at Natasha Poly later on the street: “Your husband’s a loser! Fuck you!” But that’s neither here nor there.

After spending two days in jail and being charged with four counts of assault, Hock still claims that he’s the real victim here: “I acted 100% in self-defence. I felt I had to defend the honor of the women I was with,” he told the Daily News. A point that Jessica Hart openly — via Twitter — denies.

Hock for his part is playing the role well:

“I feel I was victimized by several drunk, entitled guys who felt they deserved the prime table with the most beautiful girls. They expected to be treated like the royalty they are. They didn’t get what they wanted, and it pissed them off.”

Perhaps a little too well:

“I am concerned these guys will make my life difficult. I imagine they are sitting with their parents strategizing how to destroy me. I am getting married in June. I want to start a family. I don’t want enemies like this.”

Well, you gotta point there, Hock. Carine Roitfeld can have Karl Lagerfeld on the phone in one second and from there it’s a slippery, Chanel-upholstered chute straight to hell.

The Incredible Hock

(In order of succession to the President)

President Anna Wintour

Vice President André Leon Talley

Secretary of State: Diane von Furstenberg

Secretary of the Treasury: Bernard Arnault

Secretary of Defense: Karl Lagerfeld

Attorney General Steven Kolb

Secretary of the Interior: Ralph Lauren

Secretary of Agriculture: Marc Jacobs

Secretary of Commerce: Valentino

Secretary of Labor: Nanette Lepore

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Glenda Bailey

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Mickey Boardman

Secretary of Education: Michael Kors

Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Carine Roitfeld

Secretary of Homeland Security: Calvin Klein

Chief of Staff: Simon Doonan

Environmental Protection Agency: Emmanuelle Alt

Office of Management & Budget: Donna Karan

United States Trade Representative Ambassador: Daphne Guinness

United States Ambassador: Grace Coddington

Secretary of Small Business Administration: Fern Mallis

And there, indies, is your political lesson of the day.

Now the question is, would you vote Anna Wintour for president?

The other question is, can you find our h McQueen? Happy Presidents Day off!

During his stint as global editor for Metro Paris on Monday, the Kaiser did what the Kaiser does best: not give a fuck. In a tirade on pop culture phenom person Lana del Rey, Lagerfeld happened to drop this tidbit: “The thing at the moment is Adele. She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice.” And the backlash was akin to…well, Lana del Rey.

But Uncle Karl didn’t mean it like that. Employing the age-old PR trick of claiming his comments were “taken out of context,” Herr Lagerferld apologized…”apologized”:

“I’d like to say to Adele that ‘I am your biggest admirer. Sometimes when you take a sentence out of the article it changes the meaning of the thought. What I said was in relation to Lana Del Rey and the sentence has since been taken out of context from how it was originally published. I actually prefer Adele, she is my favourite singer and I am a great admirer of her. I lost over 30 kilos over 10 years ago and have kept it off. I know how it feels when the press is mean to you with regards to your appearance. Adele is a beautiful girl. She is the best. And I can’t wait for her next CD.”

Even taken out of context, he’s still calling Adele “too fat” — but let’s not get into it. The point is — this the closest thing anyone will ever get to an apology from Karl Lagerfeld. Bringing up his past as a big girl himself? And then offering a plug for her nonexistent third album? It’s like Dracula walking in the daytime…without his glasses on to boot. Who knew that under that ponytail beats a heart (occasionally) of pure love and acceptance? [Vogue UK]

- Stella McCartney has a new video for PETA that Cathy Horyn thinks is worth watching. Let me know, will ya. [NYT]

- Much like every diffusion line worth its salt, Jason Wu for Target sold out in, like, a day. [Racked]

- But this isn’t Target’s first time at the rodeo and the retailer is restocking their online shelves later this week. [InStyle]

- During the final three minutes of the Super Bowl there was an average of 10,000 tweets per second. That’s a lot of hashtalk. [TechCrunch]

- Vogue and Anna Wintour let Madonna have their logo free of charge for her half time show and as a result had the biggest bang for the smallest advertising buck of any of the big game’s blockbuster commercials. [WWD]

- Gisele can drop as many effing F-bombs as she effin’ likes since she’s the highest effing paid supermodel in the effing world. Dammit. [Modelinia]

- It’s no “The Boy Is Mine” but Brandy and Monica‘s new duet, “It All Belongs to Me,” is here. Sadly there’s no lyrical weave-snatching this time around. [Rap Up]

- Speaking of Mara, the girl without the dragon tattoo eschewed her usual black for a white frock at the Japan premiere of her hit film. Foreshadowing, anyone? [UPI]

- Kmart is ready, willing and more or less able to help with any #fashionweekproblems you might have. Thanks, Big K, but unless you know a drug dealer that delivers outer borough, my #fashionweekproblems are a bit out of your #areaofexpertise. [Racked]

- Kristen Stewart continues to weasel her way into the assumed hearts of the fashion industry with this little candid of her flipping the bird to/around/beside Karl Lagerfeld. Better people have died for less. [Styleite]

- Well this happened. Pied piper to the gays and the Guidos alike, David Guetta has a new video with newfound muse Nicki Minaj for “Turn Me On.” And it’s weird as fuck. [Towleroad]

- Adele will make her first post-vocal-cord-surgery appearance at the Grammys on February 12. After the ceremony, she’s expected to require shoulder surgery from lugging all those damn trophies around. [Paper]

- Hopefully you all tuned in last night to the season premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race — i.e. the greatest show of all time. If you did, you might have noticed the thirteen dragtacular contestants brilliantly recreating the finale to Alexander McQueen‘s spring 1999 fashion show in which Shalom Harlow was assaulted by two paint-spewing mechanical arms. And if you didn’t, I don’t know what the hell you’re waiting for. [NY Mag]

[Daily Mail and Zahia Dehar]

[Humor Chic]

You can check out all of the styles below at Net-A-Porter.com.

I hear you’ve been in the works with this Macy’s project for over a year. When you started, did you know that Karl Lagerfeld had signed on, and the great roster of talent they were gathering?

I knew that Karl was involved. I have to be honest, he was a big motivator for me. I’ve always been a fan of Giambattista Valli, and Karl Lagerfeld is like God.

Which of your strongest aesthetics did you apply to designing this collection?

Definitely the element of jersey. I’m known for this elegant ease and I think that’s what I wanted to convey. It’s not the same jersey we use for the collection, but it’s a beautiful modal and I think it’s so modern. It’s great that they’re able to make it accessible for so many people.

What are you most excited about for your show this Fashion Week?

I love the process. During fashion week, there’s a rhythm to it. Everything feels great, and then you feel the emotion that comes with it; the momentum picks up. You work with all these creative minds and it’s so great to see it all come together. We have a rack for the clothes with about five pieces on there. And it’s amazing how fast things happen as you get closer to the day. Before you know it, it’s 3 days before styling and that rack just fills up, 10 more pieces, 20 more pieces, 30 more pieces! I don’t know how it happens! But it just does. And then things get faster. We’re working there 24/7 and it feels like 2 hours have gone by. It’s Fashion Law. Something happens where time gets sped up, but everything speeds up, the amount of clothes that are produced, the energy level, the creativity and I love that rhythm.

- Taking two very different interpretations of ballin’,  Karl Lagerfeld showed Chanel’s fall 2012 haute couture show on a specially-built luxury airplane and Riccardo Tisci chose the oldest gymnasium in Paris for Givenchy.

- Tim Gunn hasn’t been laid in 29 years. Well, that explains the crusty demeanor…and his personality. [The Cut]

- Some attendees of Chanel’s Numéro Privés installation in Vegas – who were flown via private jet —   weren’t feeling classy enough, so they bee-lined it over to the AVN Adult Film Awards afterwards. [Page Six]

- Cynthia Nixon showed off her shorn scalp this morning on Live with Kelly! (that exclamation point is mandatory otherwise it would be a “?”). The actress formerly known as Miranda shaved her head for a new role on Broadway. [E!]

- Terry Richardson shot Kreayshawn for V Magazine and surprisingly she didn’t end up topless. [Refinery29]

- The mogul currently known as Diddy is being sued over his Empress fragrance by the similarly titled Empress Hair Care Products. Because there are only so many classy, royal-themed names to go around. [Fashion Etc]

- David Beckham‘s commercial for his bodywear line with H&M will debut during the Super Bowl, giving you all at least one reason to tune in.

- Betty White celebrates her 90th birthday today and as befits a TV and entertainment legend, NBC put together a little special featuring other people who continue to openly mock death. [Washington Post]

- It’s showdown of the has-been starlets! Lindsay Lohan and Megan Fox are reportedly vying for the made-for-TV role of a lifetime — on Lifetime —  as Elizabeth Taylor. [E!]

- L.L. Bean produced a Bootmobile that’s too big to fit the delicate foot of the Statue of Liberty. And good thing because I don’t want the symbol of this country in anything less than a stiletto, thank you. [Racked]

- The day before the birth of Blue Ivy Carter, over half of Papa Jay-Z‘s New York Rocawear employees were laid off for “economic reasons.”  Hey, someone’s got to pay for that $3500 lucite crib. [The Cut]

- Meanwhile, Momma Beyoncé‘s skin was apparently lightened for new promo pics for 4. Yawn. [Huff Po]

- Karl Lagerfeld, Marc Jacobs and others get the Squarepants treatment, courtesy of Dutch illustrator Mike Frederiqo. [Hint]

“When you work with real people, you can’t impose something,” Roitfeld told WWD. She also stressed the importance of casting for male fashion becuase “it’s men who give personality to the clothes they wore.” Where she stands on women and personality is anyone’s guess, but for the cover Carine tapped easy-on-the-eyes French actor Tahar Rahim, shot by Nick Knight. Frequent collaborator and BFF Karl Lagerfeld also stepped behind the lens for the issue, as did Richard Avedon‘s son, Michael, who shot portraits of up-and-coming young actors, including The Hunger Games‘ Alexander Ludwig. Jean Baptiste Mondino snapped hottie bullfighter José María Manzanares and Willy Vandeperre lensed Lima et al for the pin-up calendar.

The Carine Roitfeld-helmed issue of VMAN hits stands on Valentine’s Day. [WWD]

- The bro-ing of America continues as men become more and more in touch with their inner lady. The latest development,
“Brotox.” Women are even getting in on the action, gifting their dudes with the gift of immobile foreheads. [HuffPo]

- Dolce & Gabbana caused outrage — and protests — among Hong Kong citizens after passing a ban on photos of the store’s window displays. The ban, however, was not enforced for foreign shoppers or Chinese nationals. [WSJ]

- The Vatican continues sweet-talking the gays with Pope Benedict claiming gay marriage basically signals the downfall of humanity. Joke’s on him, that happened after season one of the Jersey Shore. [Towleroad]

- It may be time for Barbie to start picking better friends. Doll versions of Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian – called Dash dolls after their miniature Kardashian-inspired clothing — will befriend Mattel’s golden girl this year. In addition to wearing the trashy leopard print jumpsuits synonymous with the family’s Dash Boutiques, the dolls will “reflect the girls’ measurements.” Meaning the Khloe doll will be played by Ken. [MTV]

Photos: Fashion Gone Rogue