Me: “Seriously, I want to know what the theme of this party was, because everyone is dressed ridiculous”

Rebecca: “Douchebags. The theme was douchbag.”

The only thing I’m okay with from Kelis is that hair. It’s cool hair, but you’re 29. Maybe 10 years ago I would’ve praised you for this, but right now I’ll just say…really?  I’m also not exactly sure why everyone is dressed so weird at this event, and I know you think your “milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,” but you’re going to be a mom now, put a bra on.

SOURCE: Concrete Loop

Her milkshake does not bring anyone to the yard when Kelis is dressed like this, in fact it makes me want to put both my hands in the blender. She has way too much shit going on here, we’ll call her a little trend happy I suppose. First and foremost what are those boots she has on? Or are those shoes and leg warmers? Either way hey look terrible. She has too much clashing going on, you can do black and white, but not so many changes and accents of each. Sorry to whoever designed it, but that is an ugly romper. The lace up front makes her look like a giant sneaker, and the random white accents on the pockets are over kill. Due to this fashion tragedy, Kelis would have to blindfold me (or poke out my eyes) before I even let her think about getting sexy on me (note the song references, I know you liked that!).

Thanks Highsnobette

It seems to me that, judging from the perplexed reception, the open-toe booties is kinda like sushi—it’s an acquired taste. I happen to like sushi, and I also happen to love these boots mostly because of its blatant contradictories and fat middle finger to convention. They’re what you would wear when you want to make a bold statement, or really want to show off that pedicure in the middle of October.

Most recently, the shoes have been making appearances on the feet of risk-taking celebs including the poor man’s Mary-Kate, Rachel Bilson. For the upcoming fall season ditch the played bootie and go calf-length like my girl Kelis, who undoubtedly rocks it best, looking ever so cool and distinct as usual. My current obsession are the Chloe Strap Wrap Open Toe Boots (as seen on Mrs. Jones above).