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RED CARPET REPORT CARD: Best & Worst of Kentucky Derby 2010

Amanda Gabriele — Fri, 06 May 2011 16:13:01 +0000

The Kentucky Derby is tomorrow, meaning extravagant hats, mint juleps and drunk gambling are on the horizon. There are few things that could ruin such a glorious day in our beautiful American South, and some celebrities came really close to doing so. In this edition of Red Carpet Report Card, we will look at the best and worst dressed of the 2010 Kentucky Derby. Hopefully everyone can learn a little something about how to look like a lady for the big event tomorrow.

Let’s start with the best of the Derby, the Southern Belles who embodied the spirit of the event in a tasteful and classic manner.

Johnny Weir is the winner of best dressed! He looks amazing in his dandy ensemble and gorgeous oversize hat.

Ashley Simpson looks absolutely adorable (something I don’t get to say very often) in her cloche hat, pearls and polka dots. It’s 1922 at the Derby and she is in high style. But I wish she would have put her hair up.

I love this bright periwinkle dress Jaime Pressly chose to pair with her dark hat and shoes. But I can’t tell if the dress is wrinkled or not, which is a little irritating to the eye.

Doesn’t LeAnn Rimes embody the spirit of the Derby perfectly? I really adore the floral mini dress and how the ribbon on her elegant straw hat matches it to a T. I would have done a different shoe, but that’s me.

Joey Fatone is certainly N*SYNC with the festivities (forgive me, it’s Friday and I’ve already started with the juleps). Give me red roses and feathers any day of the week.

This is a very special photo that will take us from the best dressed at the Derby to the worst dressed. Kim Kardashian looks absolutely gorgeous. Her look is sexy and sophisticated, and I especially love the hat and wrist gloves. Brava, Kim.

Kris Kardashian on this other hand looks a mess. This dress is not flattering on her and the patent leather stripper shoes were a poor choice for the event. AND I could make a leather tote bag out of her sun damaged skin. Bad, bad, bad.

God in heaven, save us from the evil that is Brooke Shields‘ hat. It seriously looks like her whiny kids made it for her in school – a failed attempt on Brooke’s choice to wear it and the children for being poor crafters. And I think I had this same dress when I was five, so maybe she borrowed it from her daughters too?

I was a little torn here, because all of these hats are fabulous. Kenda look bangin’, she is actually one of the best dressed in my opinion. HOWEVER, where in Satan’s hell did Bridget and Holly get those dresses? Macy’s junior department prom section is about on par with these disasters, couldn’t they get anything better? Wait, probably not. Hef also looks pretty fly for a 200-year-old man.

An all black outfit to the Derby? Are you f*cking kidding me Gabrielle Union? In the words of Carrie Bradshaw‘s unfortunate party girl friend Lexi Featherston, “I’m so bored, I could die.”

And here it is, the absolute worst outfit of the 2010 Kentucky Derby. Bethenny Frankel opted for a light pink seersucker jumpsuit with matching ruffle, side tail and hat. But I think the lollipop is what pisses me off the most. It kind of looks like she wrapped herself in a baby blanket, no?

I hope you enjoyed this very special Kentucky Derby edition of Red Carpet Report Card. Stay tuned for the best and worst dressed at this year’s event next week.

The Bashed: Celeb Halloween Costumes

Amanda Gabriele — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:50:01 +0000

I’m so bored I could die. I expect these types of unoriginal Halloween costumes from Midwestern sorority girls, but not from celebrities with unlimited resources. If I were famous, I wouldn’t show my face on camera wearing a bagged costume from the discount aisle at K-Mart. But enough with the complaining; allow me to discuss this wretched mess.

Let me begin with three celebrities that took an overused idea and made it even more unoriginal. Khloe Kardashian, Heidi Montag and Traci Bingham decided to dress like police officers. How groundbreaking. The purpose of Halloween is to actually look like what you are dressing up as. If you want to dress half-naked, get a Playboy bunny costume and rock it out! But these three were a disgraceful bunch of officers. I think it will be hard to chase criminals in heels. All three sets of those tits probably fell out at the end of the night. At least they could arrest each other for indecent exposure.

Oh Mimi, how I love you, but couldn’t you think of something better than this? At least you wore what appears to be a real firefighter’s uniform, but what’s with the bra showing underneath? I know you are more original than this; I know Mariah Carey could have come up with a Halloween costume that was extravagant and unique. You look like another boring college trick-or-treater.

Kendra Wilkinson is dressed how she always dresses. Minus 15 points.

And drumroll please…..my favorite piece-of-shit costume from this year’s Halloween. Aubrey O’Day, what the fuck were you thinking? This is the ugliest mermaid costume I have ever seen. It looks like one of those weird mother-of-the-bride dresses from the “Misses” section in Dillards. I’m almost positive that real mermaids don’t wear mesh fabric over their midriffs. If O’Day would have called herself “Rejected Golden Nugget Cocktail Waitress” instead of a mermaid, I would have praised her for a sense of humor.

This dog is awesome. He/she totally blew all of you suckers out of the water (no pun intended Aubrey).

Thanks, ladies, for defiling my favorite holiday.

Thanks Everyone for the pics

Kendra Wilkinson hangs out with Evan Ross, Lil Jon and Busta Rymes at the Halloween Eve Costume Party hosted by Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon in midtown, Manhttan.

Pictured: Kendra Wilkinson

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Picture by: Jose Perez / Splash News

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Aubrey O?Day hosts a night of Haunted Seduction at Tab? Ultra Lounge in the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino Las Vegas, Nevada - 31.10.08 Credit: (Mandatory): Digital Creations / WENN

Khloe Kardashian arrives to Pur Jeans Halloween Party at STK in West Hollywood, CA.

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Picture by: Octavio R Vera Jr / Splash News
Pictured: Khloe Kardashian

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Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon attend Halloween party at Marquee Night Club. Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon arrived on the back of a fire truck in firemen outfits. Marquee, NYC

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Picture by: Janet Mayer / Splash News
Pictured: Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon

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26045, BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA - Thursday October 30 2008. VIDEO AVAILABLE. **EXCLUSIVE** "Officer" Heidi Montag apprehends "prisoner" Spencer Pratt as he attempts to escape to a Halloween party in Beverly Hills. The "The Hills" couple were in high spirits with Heidi playfully chasing Spencer down and even detaining him behind bars before heading off into the night to enjoy a Halloween party. Photograph: James Breeden, ©PacificCoastNews.com ***FEE MUST BE AGREED PRIOR TO USAGE*** UK OFFICE: +44 131 225 3333/3322 US OFFICE: 1 310 261 9676