The jeans you’re looking at cost $10,000. “Bold. Brash. Sophisticated,” boasts one of the longest press releases ever by L.A.-based label Key Closet. So what, exactly (aside from pure pants luxury), do ten Gs buy your lower half? A cascade of over 10,000 Tiffany-set Swarovski crystals for the thighs and one-carat diamonds on each back pocket, for a total of two carats for the derriere. Yes, ass bling! It’s genius! Did we mention the buttons on the back pockets are even made of white gold? And that “the graphics are accented with foil and hand spray paint to enhance the look of pure glamour”? Kindly, Key Closet is donating a whopping 30 percent of all profits made off these blinding pants to a charity that helps build schools in Uganda.

Would ya buy these indies? If you had 10G’s to spend, of course!