- With New York Fashion Week only a month away — cue panic attack — the CFDA wants to make sure you’re not freebasing Sugarfree Red Bulls and replacing the sugar in your coffee with cocaine by hosting a panel dedicated to living healthy. If I wanted to live healthy during fashion week I’d just sleep through it. [The Cut]

- Time to tune into TRL and vote for your favorite videos of the day! Oh, wait, it’s not 1998. But it certainly feels like it now that 90s R&B divas Brandy and Monica are reuniting to sing-argue who the boy really belongs to for their new duet, “Turn the Lights On.” I just hope the video involves a split-screen and a tube-top turtleneck. [Buzzfeed]

- Kim Kardashian wished Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge née Kate Middleton a happy birthday the only way she knew how: with a convenient product placement. Meanwhile, if the Duchess is ever caught dead in a Shoedazzle heel, all the style points she earned with that McQueen wedding gown will go right out the window. [Huff Po]

-  Models just can’t keep it in their pants these days. Molly Sims is the latest catwalker to get knocked up. [Modelinia]

- Barbie may be making some questionable choices as of late, but the pint-sized fashion plate has never looked so badass, thanks to these amazing printable hair extensions. Now if they just came out with these in human size. [Refinery29]

- PETA strikes again. The most annoying people in the world have now taken issue with Oscar de la Renta’s Beats by Dre headphones, imploring beatsmith Dr. Dre to use his “tremendous amount of influence on young people…to advocate kindness toward animals by pledging never to design with real fur and exotic skins.” The good doctor, unsurprisingly, has not responded. [Huff Po]

- In the age of viral this and social media that, why let something as petty as death interfere with your internet life? Now you don’t have to, thanks to a new app that ensures your last words will be disseminated to all your Facebook friends, in the event of your untimely passing. But more importantly, can you poke some one from beyond… [Refinery29]

- The bro-ing of America continues as men become more and more in touch with their inner lady. The latest development,
“Brotox.” Women are even getting in on the action, gifting their dudes with the gift of immobile foreheads. [HuffPo]

- Dolce & Gabbana caused outrage — and protests — among Hong Kong citizens after passing a ban on photos of the store’s window displays. The ban, however, was not enforced for foreign shoppers or Chinese nationals. [WSJ]

- The Vatican continues sweet-talking the gays with Pope Benedict claiming gay marriage basically signals the downfall of humanity. Joke’s on him, that happened after season one of the Jersey Shore. [Towleroad]

- It may be time for Barbie to start picking better friends. Doll versions of Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian – called Dash dolls after their miniature Kardashian-inspired clothing — will befriend Mattel’s golden girl this year. In addition to wearing the trashy leopard print jumpsuits synonymous with the family’s Dash Boutiques, the dolls will “reflect the girls’ measurements.” Meaning the Khloe doll will be played by Ken. [MTV]

Looks like a dress isn't the only thing they've been sharing.

“Kim is one of the main reasons why me and Kanye are not together. She’s a homewrecker!” Amber told the mag. According to Rose, she was dating Kanye and Kim was dating noted brick house Reggie Bush, when Kim started moving in on her man. “They were both cheating. They were both cheating on me and Reggie with each other.”

Kim would call, text and sext racy photos of herself to Kanye, which didn’t sit too well with Amber. “She was sending pictures, and I was like, ‘Kim, just stop. Don’t be that person.” Rose then showed her thorns by confronting Kardashian on her triflin’ ways via email, to no avail.  “I thought at least she’d be woman enough to respond to me.  She never responded.” Amber then admonished Kim for ceremoniously taking a dump in the sisterhood of the travelling pants, saying, “It’s very important that us women stick together and we don’t fuck each other over like that.”

Through it all, however, Amber came out smelling like her surname and she even expresses gratitude towards Kim for being an immoral slut. “I want to thank her. Because if she was never a homewrecker, then I never would have met Wiz, and I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now,” she taunted, referring to her relationship with human bong Wiz Khalifa. [Radar]

- Queen Elizabeth will give the late Elizabeth Taylor a run for the bodacious bauble money when she puts some of her most important jewels on display in August as part of a celebration honoring the monarch’s 60 years on the throne. [WWD]

- Steven Tyler in a speedo. Proceed at your own risk. [Just Jared]

- Yves Saint Laurent has hired 11 law professors from across the country to lay the legal smackdown on Christian Louboutin and his trademark infringement case. [Telegraph]

- Nicki Minaj‘s line of nail polish for OPI includes such names as “Pink Friday,” “Metallic 4 Life,” “Superbass,” and my personal fave, “Did It on ‘Em.” I don’t know what layaway look like — Bitch, I can’t even spell welfare! [SheFinds]

- Mariah Carey tweeted a picture of her and house-husband Nick Cannon in the hospital after he suffered ”mild kidney failure.”  [ABC]

- The Kardashians are starting a magazine about their favorite subject: the Kardashians. As if keeping up with them wasn’t pointless enough. However, their lawsuit against Star magazine might get in the way. American Media, the company Kim and co. are working with on this egregious  use of perfectly good trees, owns Star, which accused the First Family of Public Whoring of using slave labor in sweatshops. [Styleite]

- Whatever you’re doing, stop it right now and go here to birth your very own My Little Pony. Mine’s the baddest pony on the block. [via Refinery 29]

- Multimedia artist Colette Maison Lumiere thinks Lady Gaga, specifically Mother Monster’s Barneys Workshop, copied her work and made a little video to elaborate on it. [The Cut]

- “I think one of the most flattering things I’ve ever heard—you know, I almost fell out of my chair when someone called to tell me about it—Alexis Bittar’s PR girl has a tattoo of me on her wrist. It’s a very good portrait! I haven’t seen it in person, but apparently it looks just like me.” —  90-year-old sasstronaut Iris Apfel on the kids thinking she’s cool, or hot or “whatever the expression is.” [Fashionista]

[Huffington Post]

PETA has these snarky comments for their Grinches:

“Filmmaker and former visionary Cameron Crowe went retro in the wrong way for his new flick, We Bought a Zoo, which relied on the performing-animal industry—in which the “actors” are routinely neglected and even abused—instead of using state-of-the-art computer imaging. Exploiting live animals to tell a story about saving animals? At least Elizabethtown won’t go down as his worst creative flop.”

“Some have speculated that Kim Kardashian’s wedding to NBA forward Kris Humphries was fake. Too bad the socialite princess doesn’t have the same enthusiasm for faking her fur. Unlike her sweet sister Khloe, who starred in her own PETA anti-fur ad, Kim just can’t seem to divorce herself from fur and say ‘I do’ to a kind and kompassionate wardrobe.”

“When Janet Jackson had her infamous “wardrobe malfunction” during the Super Bowl, at least the flesh that popped into view was her own—unlike the stolen animal skins that she drapes herself with, which are as dead as her taste in fashion (not to mention her career). Ms. Jackson, you’re just plain nasty.”

PETA’s outrage over Janet stems from her Blackglama‘s “What Becomes a Legend Most?” campaign, which has featured a host of other legendary ladies including Diana Ross, Audrey Hepburn, Lucille Ball, Lena Horne, Barbra Streisand, Judy Garland, Elizabeth Taylor and Bette Davis. Now I can abide by ridiculing Kim Kardashian. In fact, I even fully support it. As for Cameron Crowe, so sue the guy for wanting to use real animals — that’s not to say they weren’t treated humanely on set. Plus, how bad could he possibly be? He did Almost Famous (and almost convinced the world Kate Hudson could act).

But you don’t just go around insulting divas like that. Sure she may have flashed a few hundred million people. Sure she hasn’t had a hit in god knows how long. Sure, she’s been relegated to starring in Tyler Perry movies and Nutrisystem commercials. But what about the good times? What about the parade of hits and classics over the past 25 years? And more importantly, what about her hot billionaire boyfriend who probably keeps her up to her wigs in all the stolen animal skins she wants?

It’s time someone stood up to people like PETA, which makes me proud to announce the formation of my new charity, PETD (pronounced: petted) — People for the Ethical Treatment of Divas. Divas are not ours to eat, wear, or experiment on — just to use for entertainment and in drag shows.

Link Love: WWD

- And speaking of former reality stars I didn’t know/care were still around, Paris Hilton on the cover of Vanity Fair Spain, ladies and gentlemen. [Huffington Post]

- Derek Lam has issued a cease-and-desist letter to Ivanka Trump claiming she “blatantly and intentionally copied” his Ayami wedge sandal. Well she’s a Trump, did you think she’d copy it with any degree of subtlety? [WWD]

- The Kardashians are suing Star Magazine for libel after the tabloid broke news that they were using child labor and sweatshops in China to manufacture their products. Turns out the head of the Institute for Global Labor and Human Rights was operating on hearsay and assumption. Did no one ever tell him that when you assume you make an ass out of Kim, Kourtney and Khloe — and they can do that fine all by themselves, thank you. [TMZ]

- For some over-privileged boys and girls, Christmas will come a few days late this year.  Due to technical issues of some sort, Barneys has had to cancel several online holiday orders. No, Virginia, there isn’t a Santa Claus because Santa’s IT elves are slacking this season. [Racked]

- Carine Roitfeld‘s had one hell of a year and she wants everyone at Vogue Paris to know it, especially that Emmanuelle Alt. Regarding the loss of Alt’s friendship after 10 years, Roitfeld had this to say: “Maybe this was not supposed to be a friendship. If I look at the balance, maybe I lost some people I thought were my friends, but I made so many new friends. I am very happy, in the end, because I am the winner.” Well, it’s nice to know she’s not bitter. [NYT]

- Among the other Grammy honorees is the late Steve Jobs who will be posthumously awarded one of the Special Merit Awards. [E!]

- A brief history of glitter: from Neanderthals to World War II and Haitian voodoo. [Etsy on Vimeo]

- Details on Madonna’s Truth or Dare line have come flooding, including news that Madge will be recycling photos from a 2010 shoot with Mert and Marcus for Interview Magazine for the ad campaign. And the commercials will feature her classic 80s ballad, “Lazy for You.” [Madonnarama]

- Prince William and wife Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge may be of royal stock, but that don’t mean they don’t like to put it down on the dancefloor. At a charity event, Will ran into a sassy black girl — who probably said something along these lines — and the result was this priceless moment of shoulder-dusting. Kate lovingly looks on as if to say, “Oh, Will, you’re so hood in your comtempo-casual sweater and mom jeans.” Meanwhile the Prince should use this angle for every photo op from here on out. We haven’t been this attracted to him in ages. [Styleite]

-  London Fashion Week, known for gently nurturing young, emerging designers, apparently didn’t feel like breaking in a new class of Fashion East-sponsored designers and are re-using the same up-and-comers from last LFW. [Elle UK]

- The Kardashians have been accused of selling and endorsing products manufactured in Chinese sweatshops using child labor, an allegation that caught the klan unawares. Kim and co. claim that they are taking the accusations “very seriously,” but the head of China’s foremost human rights organization thinks they’re just a bunch of greedy liars. ”If they [the Kardashians] don’t stop endorsing these products or do anything to improve the conditions in the factories,” said Li Qiang, executive director of China Labor Watch, ”they are sending a message to the public saying, ‘We will do anything to make money.’” I think they sent that message a while ago. [Radar]

This card is a little moody for the season but we don’t mind because this photo is giving us a fashion high. This definitely top our 10 fave Kardashian moments as of recent. And little Mason is seriously the cutest fashionisto out there.

So what do you think of the Kardashian Khristmas?

Kim counts Taylor as her “idol” and “icon,” so it comes as no surprise that the Big K would shell out some clams to have a piece of Liz in her life: “If you have a piece of jade, the energy goes into the piece and you absorb the energy,” Kardashian said via phone. “So I can feel Elizabeth in the piece.” Good for you, Kim, feeling up Elizabeth Taylor — but you’re going to need a lot more than one failed marriage if you’re going to “Keep Up” with that legacy.

Among the most popular items was a Christian Dior evening gown and matching clutch that fetched $362,500, over 60 times its estimated worth, and a Versace jacket featuring Taylor’s iconic face emblazoned in rhinestones all over it (#dead), which sold for $128,500.

The Gina Fratini wedding dress Liz wore for her second marriage to Richard Burton went for $62,500, while the yellow chiffon dress she wore to their first wedding was removed from auction at the last minute and will instead be donated to an institution. Two diamond and gold wedding bands from both Burton nuptials, however, were sold for $1 million — 125 times more than its estimated $8000 worth.

The big ticket item of the night was a  lithograph of Liz  by signed by Andy Warhol — “To Elizabeth, with much love”; estimated at $30,000 to $50,000, the painting sold for $662,500. The Liz Taylor auction continues tonight and into tomorrow, giving more reality TV stars and alleged socialites plenty opportunity to claim a piece of Taylor for her own. [Telgraph, Forbes, Bloomberg]

E! is  creating a new reality show focused just on these young ones. Watch out Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe, the Jenners have officially arrived.

1. Mason got a mullet.  Kourtney and Scott must be jealous that Baby Mase has stolen the spotlight and are trying to sabotage him with the horrible haircut.  Boom, doesn’t matter, he totally rocks it.

2. Kim stole Kourtney’s signature ballerina bun.  This is just shaking up my world.

3. Kourtney discovers Scott’s porn stash. He defends himself by saying he watches classy porn and it’s not “weird stuff” like “horses banging anybody”.

4. Kim has the baby talk with Kris, Kris reacts as if he’s not sure how babies are made.

5. Kris makes a dinner reservation under the name “Oliver Clothesoff”.  Perverted 5th grade joke? Check. Kris you’re totally ready to be a dad.

6. Kris Jenner and Hoda Kotb bust out Scott for not being married yet. Scott actually handles it well and compliments Kris on her job.  5 points Disick.

7. Bombshell! We’ve been waiting for this quote all season:  ”By the time you have kids and they’re in school and all that, no one will probably care about you”. aka “your career isn’t real”.  Kris finally states what the rest of America is thinking.

8. Hump rocks a double deep V neck. He’s just picking up points in my book left and right.

9. The Angela Martini cameo as Kourtney’s threesome potential #winning

10. Kim takes a bubble bath with full hair & makeup, she’s just like the rest of us! Relatability is why we watch this show week after week.

Any questions or tips on the Kardashain duo? Predictions on what’s going to happen next week? Not concerned at all but just want to say hello?  Tweet it all to me @iamsamlim

My fellow sisters in the editorial trenches Amanda and Jessica openly gasped at MObama’s strapless Vera Wang, not least of all because who the hell knew Vera Wang could still turn out a black-tie stunner after that whole wedding dress disaster? Leave it to Mrs. Obama to pick Wang’s name out of the mud known as Kim Kardashian and give the designer a good shaking off to the rhythm of her patriotic hips.

Photo: Styleite

Remember that time the UK banned Julia Roberts’ Lancôme ad for tryng and failing to convince us that the Oscar winning actress hadn’t been Photoshopped into oblivion? The Brits, it seems, don’t care to turn a Botoxed cheek to computer-generated enhancement; nor do the French and the Norwegians. Feminist legislators from those European superpowers — and Norway — want all digitally-altered images to be labeled to avoid giving girls the wrong impression.

It was exactly this impression that the American Medical Association wanted to protect when it passed a policy in June to “discourage the altering of photographs in a manner that could promote unrealistic expectations of appropriate body image.” But was this enough? Would that stomp the scourge of rampant Photoshop mutilation?

Enter the dashing Dr. Hany Faid, riding up on his microscope of justice, his pristine lab coat effortlessly billowing in the wind. Along with PhD student Erica Kee, Faid enlisted hundreds of people to compare before and after photos (see below) and then determine the level of digital alteration on a scale from 1-5. They then used this research to train the software to mimic human perception.

Faid hopes this tool will be used to regulate and reduce retouching. He suggests, “Models, for example, might well say, ‘I don’t want to be a 5. I want to be a 1.’” Perhaps this new breakthrough will prevent anymore unfortunate airbrush mishaps and won’t result in the complete devastation of the women’s magazine industry. [NYT]

In his new book, Hedy’s Folly: The Life and Breakthrough Inventions of Hedy Lamarr, the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, Richard Rhodes dips his quill into the actress’ inkwell of kookery to detail her long-neglected contributions to modern science…and badassery.

At 18, Lamarr starred in 1933′s Ecstasy, a highly controversial Czezh film featuring a nude Lamarr and filmdom’s first depiction of a female orgasm. Around that time, Lamarr unhappily married an Austrian arms dealer — it’s just something you do once breaking down sexual taboos before hitting legal drinking age. The Austrian arms dealer husband would invite Nazi generals over for a little tea and tyranny where they would discuss weapons — and Lamarr eagerly listened.

Perhaps not too keen on being a Nazi war bride, the time came for Hedy to escape her marriage. She claimed she dressed up as a maid and jumped out the window to freedom, but in truth she hopped a steamer that had one of the most, if not the most influential man in Hollywood at that time — MGM’s Louis B. Mayer. By the end of the trip, she had a seven-year, $3000/week contract with the studio. Sure it’s no $20 mil per film, but that was big money then…hell, it ain’t that bad now.

According to Rhodes, Lamarr “was keenly aware of the coming war. She was glued to the newspaper, reading the stories. … When German submarines began torpedoing passenger liners, she felt at that point, ‘I’ve got to invent something that will put a stop to that.’ ” Along with the avant-garde composer George Antheil, she conceived and patened a frequency-hopping torpedo guidance system in 1942. Seven years later Hedy accomplished another equally-impressive feat when she won the Sour Apple Award for Least Cooperative Actress at the now defunct Golden Apple Awards.

Antheil and Lamarr gave their invention to the U.S. Navy, which was openly unimpressed. Those swarthy sailors buried the invention for a while and the patent eventually expired. Then in 1962,  during the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Navy resurrected George and Heddy’s idea, but by then Antheil had already died. Finally in 1997, Lamarr was recognized by the Electronic Frontier Foundation — she died three years later at  age 86.

Although Lamarr doesn’t enjoy the same level of esteem given to many of her contemporary movie stars, her frequency-hopping invention is the basis for a lot of wireless technology including WiFi, cell phones and Bluetooth. Not bad for a girl who got her start faking it for a pay-Czech.. [LA Times Blog]

Kim posted this picture of her wearing a Violent Lips tattoo a few days ago with the message ”I found these Violent Lips lip tattoos in Kylie’s room & I thought it would be fun to try out a new look! ”

We on the other hand posted this picture of our editors Amanda & Jessica back in May.

We have to admit that Kim’s look in the photo is pretty flawless (Dying for that Dolce & Gabbana jacket) but don’t let that cloud your judgement.

So who wore Violent Lips the better?

Not only did the show begin with a montage of “Kardashian-Humphries Divorce” clips and headlines, it opened up with an ominous “8 months earlier” stamp across the screen, securing the fact that this entire season is going to be a documentation on the downfall of the $18 million bride.  But have no fear, its not all Return to Depression Mountain here, because of the show’s saving grace: Baby Mason (aka the happiest baby in the world).

He’s adorably well dressed, knows how to dip his french bread in olive oil, and does classy toddler appropriate things like screaming hello to New York off his Gansevoort Park penthouse balcony, classic.  We won’t waste your time with any analysis on Kim and Kourtney Take New York #BMMTS because seriously, who cares,  but we will give you a list of the Top Ten Post Kardashian Show Highlights: 

1. Kourtney means business this season, with a higher and tighter ballerina bun than ever.

2. The foursome move into the penthouse of the Gansevoort Park Hotel, a sprawling 3 bedroom duplex that quickly turns out to be way too small.

3. Within a couple of days of living together, Kris grumbles about how star of the show, Baby Mason is just too much to deal with. He actually yells. At a baby. Hump, you’re dead to me.

4. Scott and Kris shave each other’s armpits…WTF?

5. TRIPLE THREAT: Kourtney surprises Kim at their spa day with…an enema! Kourtney later “leaks” (it is exactly what you think) onto Kim & Kris’s bed!  You also hear the ladies fart. That’s right. f-a-r-t, FART. Who says these girls aren’t still known for their asses?

6. Avril Levigne‘s Abbey Dawn fashion show was featured in one scene, showing at least one press outlet that enjoyed plugged her collection.

7. Kris then kicks off his first tv display of a$$hole immaturity by calling the nude yogi (yes, there’s nude yoga in this episode) “some rasta dude”, asking him “if it was cold in here”, calling him “disgusting”, then outwardly laughing in his face.  This was of course followed by a public argument with Kim and ends with Kris leaving (insert completely unshocked face here).

8. You get to see the inside of Dash and not only does it look like people are working, it is one of the rare scenes where the sisters seem genuinely happy.

9. By the end of the episode Scott and Kris have both moved out. Season foreshadowing dun dun dunn…

10. We are left with a teaser reel of Kim breaking down in tears about her failing marriage and low self esteem, making us disregard any negative feeling portrayed in this entire article.  Can’t wait til next week!

Any questions or tips on the Kardashain duo? Predictions on what’s going to happen next week? Not concerned at all but just want to say hello?  Tweet it all to me @iamsamlim

Reality television — aside from heralding the downfall of Western civilization — is a booming market with an insatiable audience hungry for more fights, more breakdowns, more thrown glasses and flipped tables and more inevitable trips to rehab. Therefore American Media Inc. — the publisher of such prestigious titles as The National Enquirer, Star and OK! — has tapped into that hunger with Reality Weekly. Hitting newsstands the first week in January, the tabloid sells for a paltry $1.79;  justly earning the slogan “Less money/More fun!”

Sidebar, that was originally the tagline for The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

RW‘s editor, Richard Spencer — who also pulls double duty as the editor of OK! — extols the virtues of reality stars and their lack of virtue when it comes to any sort of discretion: “[Y]ou can’t keep them away. It’s always ‘Come to my wedding!’ or ‘I just redid my baby’s room. Want to see it?’ ” Whereas the stars love the constant exposure, the producers of the show love the free promotion.

When approached by American Media about Reality Weekly,  Simon Cowell – noted wearer of tight T-shirts and producer of America’s Got Talent — said: “Why hasn’t anyone done this before?” Off-hand, I would say integrity, but considering the nature of the tabloid industry, that can’t be right.

With features such as “Biggest Fights of the Week,” “Hottest Shots of the Week” (in reference to bikini shots) and a format that — according to Spencer — “you don’t even have to read to know what’s going on,” Reality Weekly is destined to be extended beyond its 13-week test period.  And America is destined to descend further into cultural despair.

Now excuse me while I catch up on my Teen Mom reruns. [NYT]

The registry included these items, some of which were never fulfilled:

Christofle butter spreader – $43

Stainless steel Christofle coffee pot – $1,750

Lalique ashtray – $1,200

William Yeoward crystal cocktail shaker – $895

24 Herms dinner plates, “splashed with touches of gold” – $225 apiece

French-made Baccarat vase – $7,850, the most expensive gift on the list

18 Gold pinstripe Tina Chen placemats – $35 apiece

18 Butter Sferra napkins – $12.50 apiece

So what about all of the presents Kim actually did receive on the big day? Big surprise, she’s keeping them.

LINK LOVE: NY Daily News

Supplies

In order to create your temporary home for the next several hours, you will need the following essentials: sleep mask,  noise-cancelling headphones, blanket/pillow set, snacks, an iPad loaded with movies and music and books and magazines in case your iPad battery dies.

The implicating Facts: Sure there’s the fact that the divorce announcement came at the exact same time that the filming for the next season of Kim & Kourtney Take New York wrapped (insert dramatic season finale). And the fact that the announcement came the day before mogul mother Kris Jenner launched her new book Kris Jenner…and All Things Kardashian (insert Bestseller List ranking). And the fact that the first thing “devastated” Kris Humphries did was run to a media outlet and make a statement (that’s what we all do when we are heartbroken right?). And the facts that she never changed her name, never planned on giving him a dime, and that their made for TV wedding was all about the benjamins, all $18million of them.

Blinded by her “love”?  Other than those implicating details, a tiny part of our hearts still hopes that she isn’t trying to just scam America. She thought she was marrying an loving NBA star who fit into the unique puzzle that is their paparazzi-filled, brand-building life, but in reality she married an unemployed 26 year old athlete that who wanted her to move to Minnesota. And if the rumors are true that he hired his own publicist, held secret meetings behind his wife’s back, started pocketing appearance fees and hosting nightclub parties, and tried to control her life, I’d probably have divorced him after 72 days too.

Did she jinx herself? Thank goodness she protected herself with a prenup and didn’t bother changing her last name, then again, could those moves been what jinxed her short lived fairytale marriage? Let us know your thoughts as we rot our brains with more mindless Kardashian drama.

Sure the divorce came as  a shock to no one — except Humphries, but did he really expect to be the first person to find out when there’s an entire Twitterverse waiting to react ? — but how it’ll turn out is anyone’s guess.

Kardashian has already planned to deny Humphries in the way of spousal support and considering he’s currently unemployed thanks to some basketball lockout that I’m openly ignoring and thus willfully ignorant about, he’s going to have to lean on his reported $8 million worth. And when the NBA stops locking shit, he’ll have the pittance of $3.2 mil a year from the Nets.

Pardon me while I break out the world’s most obnoxious violin. [Huff Po]

DIVORCED!

Only 72 days after the embarrassing spectacle known as their wedding — embarrassing mostly for the  Americans who actually cared about it — Kardashian has filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences. But Kim, being the shrewd business woman she is, made sure there was a pre-nup because she’s not trying to support an NBA basketball player who’s openly cheating on her…at least not without a ring on that finger.

Now that this ugly business is over, it’s time to sell the post-split story! Let’s just forego a magazine bidding war, chalk it up to that good ole standby: “the pressures of having a relationship in the public eye” and pretend like this never happened. I know that’s what Khloe is doing as she happily flaunts her still-intact wedding band. [TMZ]

Fun Fishtail Side Pony

Apply Pirri Elements Lava Glaze Smooth & Relaxing Serum and, depending on time, blow or air dry your hair. Loosely tie a hair elastic an inch below your neck for a loose braid. You can leave a few strands of your hair out in front to get Fergie’s look. Separate your hair in two equal sections. Begin the braid by taking about an inch of hair from your outer right side and crossing it over to the middle section (towards the inside of the left side). Repeat with the left side. Continue braiding down, taking sections and repeating the mentioned steps— while pulling your hair towards the right side to create a side braid. Tie with your hair tie, once reaching the bottom. Gently remove the elastic hair tie you loosely tied at the top, and finito!

W’s EIC Stefano Tonchi and senior editor Diane Solway approached Ai about doing the cover shortly after he was released and the artist seemed game. ““He really, really liked the idea,” said Solway. “We left it open to him to create an original work and then we didn’t hear from him for a little bit, so we thought it wasn’t happening.”

Then suddenly, Ai re-emerged with the idea of referencing photos he took of the 1980s riots in Tompkins Square for a five-photo spread. With photographer Max Vadukul, Ai art directed the shoot via Skype, remotely observing as Sui He was detained and hooded — while giving face the entire time — in an Alexander Wang dress before being confined in Rikers Island.

“For me, the excitement has been, firstly, to have the chance to collaborate with an artist of his stature,” said Vadukul of the shoot, “then to hear him actually give a very strong direction. If anybody ever asks me what’s the most incredible thing you’ve ever done in editorial, I will say this assignment.”

The cover is certainly a departure from W‘s last “Art Issue,” featuring a nude and painted Kim Kardashian and one can bet that Ai Weiwei won’t be crying into his sister’s mannish arms about being able to see a little nip. [NYT]

From Le Figaro via The Cut:

From the first model on the runway, we are struck by what resembles an out-of-style Gucci collection from ten years ago. The fussy complications of the cuts (drawstrings, shirring, high-waisted skirts, leg-of-lamb sleeves), the disheveled hairstyle of a girl barely back from happy hour, and the overdone makeup… Overload is the key word of the show… The laced shoe? An ersatz model of an Alaïa. The jogging shorts in black leather? Already seen last year in Céline‘s cruise collection, as were the sandals with bracelet straps (here, encrusted with rhinestones). The coat bristling with raffia? A pale version of those in Yves Saint Laurent‘s spring 1967 collection.

And then shit gets personal:

At the end of this inventory suited to Kim Kardashian, Tom Ford appears. He advances. And he remains there, in the central area, asking people to stand up. Perhaps [people would do so] out of distress, or sympathy, or because all of this is supposed to be festive after all. But everybody just looks at their feet. The music does not stop. Ford tries to speak above the noise, louder. We can’t hear a thing. We just see this baby-faced man trying desperately to clear the air. He throw[s] himself upon his companion, Richard Buckley, and hugs him (Ralph Lauren often hugs his companion Ricky at the end of his shows, but then he returns backstage). But here everyone stays put. So Tom Ford retreats toward Anna Wintour and now it’s she whom he decides to embrace. Troubling.

A.) That comparison to Kim Kardashian is verging on out-of-line. B.) I’m pretty sure Mouzat called Ford fat with that “baby-faced” comment. And  C.) I think the most “troubling” part is that he reportedly had the cajones to publicly embrace Anna Wintour. People have died for less.

This isn’t the first time Ford has weathered bad press as noted sassbag Cathy Horyn referred to Ford’s spring 2001 Gucci show as “not just truly ugly, but also…completely at odds with his reputation as a designer who loves women.” And then there was that reporter at the Guardian, Jess Cartner-Morley, who also had some choice words for Ford’s latest collection.

So, is it a case of sour grapes, or has Tom Ford simply made an unfashionable misstep? Well, you’ll have to wait to form your own opinions when the photos come out, but everyone’s allowed a mistake every now and then. Hell, we keep Jean Paul Gaultier around and when’s the last time he did anything passably good? Oh, right. [The Cut]

Color Palette: Black and white contrasting with pastels, corals and a bit of teal lining

Mood: The flirty sophisticate

Statement Pieces: Taupe knit dress with coral trim and underlay wrapped with a neutral and black snakeskin belt; linen silk-flax tuxedo jacket with wide-leg trousers and silk white top with coral detail

Front Row Name Drops: Kim Kardashian, Molly Sims and Corinne Bailey Rae

Gossip: Someone in reference to the hold-up of movement through the presentation, “I blame it on Kim Kardashian’s butt. Everything can be blamed on her butt.”

Runway Music: Songs from the Hanna soundtrack

Photo: Style.com

Color Palette: Coral, khaki, turquoise and a teal that brings to mind tubes of toothpaste

Mood: The Golden Girls meets the Valley of the Dolls on a trip to Palm Beach

Statement Pieces: The shoes were to DIE for

Front Row: Kardashian lovers Scott Visick and Kris Humphries; Emma Roberts and Jamie King

Gossip: Though their lesser halves were there, where were Kourtney and Kim, respectively? On the drink menu: love on the rocks.

Runway Music: Jill Stuart was clearly in a New York state of mind with the Ramones on full blast through out.

- And speaking of weddings between imaginary people, Kim Kardashian‘s new husband Kris Humphries, found himself on an airplane sitting next to Ray J –  also known as the reason we have for Keeping Up with the Kardashians. No notes on their respective performances in the boudoir were exchanged, though Kris kind of has an unfair advantage. [Gawker]

- Valentino Garavani is planning on turning his life into a musical. Picture it, red gowns on 40 dancing pugs descending a spiral staircase. Hello, Tonys. [Telegraph]

- Chick Beer, beer for girly girls, comes in a  purse-like box that you can use to throw up into since you clearly can’t handle real booze. [Refinery29]

- Carine Roitfeld, in her new tome Irreverent, reveals that she thinks fashion “isn’t as much fun as it once was.” Other things that aren’t as fun as they once were: everything. [The Cut]

- And in other things that Carine Roitfeld thinks — Tom Ford, not that gay: “Ask each woman that ever met Tom, and they will tell you that they were under the charm of Tom. O.K., Tom, unfortunately for the woman, is gay. But he is very not so gay. Even the way he touches a woman, the way he puts his hand on your back or the way he opens the car for you, he’s a gentleman. You’re dying that he likes everything you’re wearing, everything you’re doing, because his taste is very important to you. You want to seduce him all the time.” [NYT]

- And speaking of people selling out for the Kardashians, Vera Wang is selling knock-offs of the wedding dresses she created for the publicity stunt people refer to as Kim Kardashian‘s wedding, to be sold through her David’s Bridal diffusion line. [E!]

- Catherine Malandrino has cancelled her presentation this season, claiming that the brand is “in transition” and “refocusing.” [Page Six]

- Reportedly the only celebrities invited to the  Marc Jacobs runway show are longtime hag Sofia Coppola and campaign gurls, Elle and Dakota Fanning. I guess Tara Reid and I will both be standing outside in the cold this season. As usual. [Fashionista]

- According to his lawyer, John Galliano won’t be in court next week when the verdict in his racist rant case is handed down. [Fashionologie]

- Snooki‘s coming out with a fragrance and being the classy broad she is, she says it will be “flirty and bubbly, you know, like my personality, and obviously something DTF.” (for those out of the Jersey Shore loop, that’s “down to fuck”) So it will smell like a used hot tub, greasy hair extensions and stale lube? Aah, eau du Guidette. [Us]

*DISCLAIMER* MTV awards shows are always graded on a curve or almost everyone would be on the worst dressed list. Some of the best here (As and Bs) could have potentially been Cs at the Grammys.

Let’s begin with the best, as there were only a handful of of ladies who came to work.

Selena Gomez in Julien MacDonald Fall 2011 – Congratulations Selena, for wearing a mullet dress I actually like, actually love in fact. One of our favorite teen style stars, Selena’s dark side came to the surface in this Gothic number by Julien MacDonald. The gold accessories lightened things up in the perfect way.

Gag’s little sis, Natali Germanotta, is the odds on favorite — possibly for the Haus of Germanotta – with notable runners-up Nicola Formichetti (natch), Gareth Pugh, Atsuko Kudo, Donatella Versace and Vivienne Westwood.

Stella McCartney and Donna Karan are the least likely candidates — I guess a shawl-collared jersey wedding  gown is a bit at odds with the Gaga aesthetic. But what about a Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen creation? I wouldn’t put it past the Lady to get married in the exact same dress as Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge…only because it would be hilarious.

As for the material of the dress, bets range from balloons to flowers and glass.

But here we are putting the unicorn before the cart. News of Gaga even dating anyone is news to me, let alone getting married. I’d hope if Lady Gaga were getting married she’d at least have the decency and class to whore the story — and herself — out, Kardashian-style. [WWD]

- But of course we have you covered for all your Hurricane Irene needs with a handy guide to surviving this natural disaster in style. [FashionIndie]

- And finally, someone has their priorities in order. Sure there’s a potentially deadly storm heading our way, but what about the Barneys Warehouse Sale? Won’t someone think of the Warehouse Sale?! [Racked]

- And speaking of useless marriages, People paid $1.5 million for “exclusive” rights to Kim Kardashian‘s wedding, despite her lackluster engagement issue and the fact that no one really cares. [WWD]

- Alexander Wang ventures behind the beauty counter with a nail color from Sally Hansen. [Style]

- Miss Piggy, diva of divas, will make an appearance during Fashion’s Night Out at Opening Ceremony where she will debut  the new Muppets x Opening Ceremony line. I hope the clothes don’t come with a hand already up them…or do I? [Fashionista]

We’re one of the first to snag these sneak peek shots of the Kardashian clan wedding. Since the world has stopped for this self titled “extravaganza”, we’re doing yet another post about the Hollywood love story.  Photo of Kendall, Kyle, and Kris after the jump.

$15 million paycheck for the two-part TV special entitled “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event” (airs in October)

$2.5 million paycheck from People for selling the rights to their wedding photos

$300,000 paycheck from People for the rights to their exclusive engagement announcement

Undisclosed paycheck from OK! for the rights to their bridal shower pictures

Undisclosed fee for throwing their bachelorete party at Tao

And we haven’t even started on the list of luxury goods the couple got for free.  That estimated $650,000 of product breaks down to:

Her three Vera Wang wedding dresses

The elaborate Lehr & Black invitations

The Hansen’s Bakery wedding cake

The Perrier Jouet champagne

Hair & makeup services

The couple is also said to have gotten a significant discount on her $2 million engagement ring and their $1 million wedding bands by close friend Lorraine Schwartz.

No one knows whether they paid for the rental of the Sotto Il Monte estate, the $2 million worth of flowers that filled it, the Kobe beef burgers and caviar served, the performances by Stevie Wonder and Earth Wind & Fire, and their NYC after party at Capitale.  

Somewhat speechless at the above stats, I have to give Kris Jenner props for becoming such a ring master of sponsorships and whoring out her family  to pop culture.  Not sure why, but it’s like I’ve smoked the Kardashian crack pipe and find myself wanting to know more.  What do you guys think?

The wedding day is finally here and we’ve got even more details about the Kim Kardahsian Kris Humphries uber lavish wedding.  In addition to our earlier list, here are the latest bits of gossip about the famous nuptuals:

1. The jaw dropping invitation is above, which includes requests for all guests to wear black and white.  The invite was delivered in its own box which was decorated by hundreds of jet black hematite crystals

2. $66,000 worth of wedding gifts have been purchased from her registry by the couple’s wealthy guests.  Still up for grabs are the $305 per plate set of Hermes dishes, a $7,000 Baccarat vase, an $840 Havana ashtray, and $205 KT ice tongs.

3. The wedding party is all shacked up at the Four Seasons Hotel, and they’ve caused so much ruckus there with the cameras and staff that another bride to be that was actually having her wedding there wasn’t even allowed to attend her own party due to security blocks for the celebrity entourage.  She was said to dash to her room in tears over the Kardashians taking away attention on her special day.

4. Kim’s wedding will actually be held at the nearby Montecito Sotto Il Monte Estate 

5. Post ceremony, the couple will be jetting back to their new home at the Gansevoort Park Hotel in New York City.

6. The wedding is set for 6pm west coast time this evening, and in attendance will be celebrity guests including Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Nicole Richie, Ryan Seacrest, Jennifer Lopez, Venus and Serena Williams, La La Anthony,  and the New Jersey Nets basketball team.