The Girls from “The Hills” walked the red carpet in NYC for the finale of Season 4 on MTV. Lauren Conrad, Whitney Port, Heidi Montag, Audrina Patridge, and Lo Bosworth all arrived looking very pretty and grown up: Lauren’s makeup was classic, Whitney and Lo’s makeup was minimalist, and both Heidi and Audrina pulled off the sexy siren look.

Each girl wore their signature beauty look but my favorite of them all was LC… her makeup was flawless and perfect even for the runway. Lauren Conrad’s personal makeup artist Amy Nadine, who is also the lead makeup artist for Mark Cosmetics, decided to add some color to Lauren makeup palette;

Amy gave Lauren her signature eyes using mark On the Edge’ Hook up liquid liner in black on the top and bottom eye. Next, it looked like she used mark I-Glimmer Creamy Eye Shadow Palette in Bronzed which highlights and brightens the eyes and is long lasting. For those great lashes, she used the mark Scandal-Lash Hook Up Mascara in Black which thickens and gives length. On the lips, it looks like Lauren was wearing Mark Cosmetics top seller lip gloss, Hook Ups. Thisitem is a two part step, the Pro Glimmer first, followed by the Pro Gloss to pump and add shine to the lips. Because Lauren is not big on wearing blush, I am sure that Amy pulled out the mark Bronze Pro Bronzing Powder to give her that healthy glow and then dust the new mark Twinkle belle for a pearlized shimmer on her face.

I think tonight was the best I have ever seen all the girls, can’t wait to see where Whitney Port’s (“The City”) makeup artist takes her look. New York Post’s Page 6 did question whether she is the next Carrie Bradshaw?!?

The Good: Rachel Bilson

The Good: Paris Hilton

The Good: Nicole Richie

 Dolce & Gabbana had a little get together to celebrate the opening of their new flagship store in Los Angeles last night. The event was packed with stars, so of course we had to congratulate a few, and bash the others. The well dressed celebs this time, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton (miracle I know) and Rachel Bilson. Rachel Bilson was a no brainer, the blue sequined D&G blazer looked great, and I was impressed that she even knew to get one that was a bit longer too! This was a shocker for me as well, but Paris Hilton looked good last night (with the exception of her wonky eye and stupid facial expression). I liked the prins and cut of the dress, and she even spiced (or slutted) it up with some fish-nets. Nicole Richie looked cute as usual, now if she could only get rid of her d-bag boyfriend/husband or whatever. She rocked the high waisted look very well, and I am intrigued by her little eyeball bag.

The Bad: Lauren Conrad

The Bad: Rumor Willis

This weeks bads, Rumor Willis, her chin and Lauren Conrad. Lauren Conrad is just boring. She is completely monotoned, with no changes in fabric textures. On top of all of this she’s rocking the bow still? I thought we all agreed that we were more or less done with the bow, especially a very boring one. Rumor Willis wore a dress that I don’t think looks too bad, but then her face had to go and ruin it for everyone. I don’t necessarily think the hair color goes well with the dress pattern and her skin tone. She’s getting better though, 2009 is right around the corner.

The Ugly: Nicky Hilton

The Ugly: Ginnifer Goodwin

The Ugly: Zoe Saldana

This weeks uglies definitely aren’t the worst we have ever seen, but they are by no means good either. Nicky Hilton decided to show up in her night gown. The dress she wore lacked a chest, a silhouette and color. I guess this is what happens when you are living a life in the shadow of your whoring sister, get out there and suck some dick Nicky, then you can get yourself the good stuff! Ginnifer Goodwin still has me confused as to whether that is jewelry or a detail on her dress, either way if we could figure out a way to make that go away that would be awesome. And last but not least, Zoe Saldana showed up in the worlds smallest quilt that her grandmother made her. 

Thanks Fabulousness for the images

Is this Lauren Conrad or Carmen Electra? Guess we’ll never know, due to the high amounts of photoshop.

Oh a side note, I want that playboy bunny garment (if you can call it that). I think it would go nicely with my Hugh Heffer blow up doll.

Thanks Scandalist for the pic

It looks like Whitney Port is packing up her bikini and taking to the streets of New York with her new spinoff of The Hills produced by MTV. The City, despite the fact that it is a spinoff, looks pretty serious to me. Crying models, backstabbing boyfriends, jealous acquaintances and workplace scandals are just some of the things the teaser shows will go down in the Big Apple. NY Mag made a pretty solid prediction as to what is going to happen by the looks of the trailer. If they are correct, it looks like I can graduate from the overdramatic Gossip Girl and start laughing my butt off at the ridiculous drama and seditious characters of The City…as long as Lauren Conrad’s ugly dresses aren’t worn on screen…

We don’t have an exact date for the premier of this show, but MTV claims The City will air sometime in the spring. In the meantime, I would love to see Comedy Central do a spinoff of their own called The Mountains: Spencer dies in a freak snowmobile accident, leaving Heidi stranded alone in a desolate log cabin without internet for online shopping. Whitney begins designing winter coats but Lauren refuses to do her PR work because she is too busy designing hideous dresses of her own. Audrina quits work at Epic Records and begins work as a zamboni driver at the local ice-skating rink, leaving her too poor to afford rent with Lauren. Then all the girls go on an epic journey to rescue Heidi but are killed in an avalanche. Now Heidi must fend for herself until the Teen Vogue comes to the rescue! Can she do it? Stay tuned. 

Thanks US Magazine!

A few weeks ago I reported in Desperation 101 that Lauren Conrad would be on a national tour to market her clothing line. As expected, it was the the sorority girls flaunting their Ugg boots, North Face jackets, straightened blonde hair, black leggings, Juicy Couture sweatsuits and gem encrusted Bebe tees that ransacked the audience. Apparently the campaign went over well, but it went over well with a crowd that doesn’t know fashion from the other 20 girls sporting their beer stained Sigma Gamma Lambda Kappa Delta Pi Epsilon sweatshirts with dried vomit in their hair.  

Some girl from Northeastern University said ”Wearing her clothing line tonight was really an honor.” Well, apparently this girl was flattered that she was one of the many cotton dress wearing, cheap black belted, frontal hair poofed models. Good job Conrad, you gave daddy’s little girl 5 minutes of fame other than when she gets voted make-out slut at Saturday night frat parties. 

Another spectator at the show said ”A cotton dress for $200 is overpriced, just because of the name that’s on it? Come on. But, I mean, I would totally buy it, just because it’s a Lauren Conrad dress, I totally would.” Excellent, another label whore. Totally kill yourself. Totally. 

Thanks NY Mag!

Lauren Conrad probably has a hit-man after me, but I cannot help point out her pathetic attempts at fashion design and promotion. Well, this time, Conrad had me laughing quite a bit. Apparently, Conrad will be brining her designs to college students everywhere with “The Lauren Conrad College Tour.” Wow, so are sales doing that badly that she actually has to bring her awful designs to students and beg them to wear it. Visiting schools like Georgia State, Georgia Tech, University of Texas at Austin, University of Minnesota, Brandeis and BU, Conrad hopes to target young sorority girls. Hmm, maybe Conrad would break some ground if she actually targeted fashionable schools like WWD’s top vote, New York University. Sorry, but this plan is absolutely pathetic…you couldn’t get me to attend one of these fashion shows even if I got school credit for it!

Thanks Fashionista!

“I’ve always wanted to do lingerie. I would do a sleepwear line. I love going sleep in something pretty. I like clothes even when I am sleeping!”

Thanks PopCrunch

Okay, Okay, so I should probably stop this rumor before it goes any further, but Lauren Conrad’s collection, as showed during Los Angeles Fashion Week, was probably only Walmart worthy. Actually, I think I’ve seen more fashionable things at Walmart than what this sorry excuse for a fashion designer threw on the runway last week. Craftsmanship was shoddy. Designs were boring. Collared and belted dresses went out of style before they were even in style. I guess the only compliment I can give the poor girl is that they styling was decent. Please Lauren Conrad, give it up already. Please. 

Thanks Jezebel!

I am far from being a fan of this girl. But I thought Lauren Conrad looked downright pretty at her L.A. Fashion Week runway show on Tuesday. It’s very simple, but I want her hair so bad.

Photos from Lauren-Conrad.net.

“I’ve been doing it for five years now. Five years on TV is a really, really long time, it’s coming to a point where I love this show so much, but I’m ready to kind of walk away.”

Well, my goodness, finally, hope the show gets canceled, cuz then she can focus on her fashion career…NOT! And what does “kind of” walk away mean?

Thanks PopCrunch

Unless Lauren Conrad took her happy pills this morning, there is no reason for this fashion designer to be smiling. If you read The Bashed article on Conrad’s awful “reject homecoming date” dress line on Kitson, you’ll know exactly why this line is hitting rock bottom. The New York Post recently reported that the line hasn’t budged from the racks of the 59th Street Bloomingdales in New York. And if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, the Kitson Boutique in LA is literally donating items from Conrad’s line to charity! Ouch. Maybe Lauren Conrad should just stick to making a fool of herself on reality TV instead of in the brutal fashion industry! 

Thanks Celebuzz!

It’s mid October and your homecoming dance is quickly approaching. Your friends include your pet hamster Squeaky and the lunch lady who serves you poorly prepared Sloppy Joes. Your ex-boyfriend dumped you so he could spend more time reading Anime and trading Pokemon cards. So, you want to start all over? Make a good impression? Well, wearing one of Lauren Conrad’s dresses to your homecoming dance is certainly not the way to do it.

Come on Lauren, you grew up in Beverly Hills for Christ sake and you work for Teen Vogue! Haven’t the playground of the rich, famous and fabulous and the fashion industry taught you anything? No girl wants to be caught dead dancing in a hunter green ruched halter dress! And to make matters worse, all of these designs have been done before- the strapless tuxedo look, the single shoulder bow, the Greek inspired draping. It looks like you and Whitney Port could use a collection makeover…and how!

And please, save teenage girls the humiliation and NEVER start a prom dress collection.

The Good:

Is this really Eva Longoria? She actually looks good for once. Love the bow, love the fringes, love the look!

Big surprise Heidi Klum looked great. She probably had one of those Project Runway slaves up all night hand stitching this for her. Love the earrings too.

How many times do we have to say that yellow is a big color this Fall. This wasn't the only yellow spotted on the red carpet, but it sure was one of the best.

The Bad:

What's up with the awkward fold in the middle of the chest? And the fit isn't even close to flattering. Glorified doctor scrubs seem to be the appropriate label for this.

The dress looks good, but what is this awkward length? The random ankle flash, not so hot.

Story of Lauren Conrad's life, boring. She's supposed to be young and sexy. Now she either put on an unflattering amount of weight, or got knocked up by that douche bag Brody, because she looks like she's trying to hide something.

The Ugly:

What's up with the cheesy screen print and random fake diamond strap that randomly just stops? Just awful.

Thanks Just Jared

As if we already didn’t know Brody Jenner is a complete loser, he has to go around on a regular basis reminding us. The only thing that could make this image better would be Chuck Norris coming through the crowd and roundhouse kicking Brody in the back of his stupid head. Is Brody even famous? He is more or less an extra in a stupid, fake reality show that features a wannabe designer who is the ugliness that is Lauren Conrad. Oh the price I would pay to see Brody Jenner in a situation reminiscent to the movie Hostel.

Thanks Jezebel for reminding me of how much I hate the Cali trash bitch!

Shannon Doherty is BACK BITCHES! And she is fierce like a tranny that’s about to have a walk off. Here she is arriving to promote the new Beverly Hills 90210.

AND

Here’s Lauren Conrad at the Nylon TV issue party wearing the same dress in black.

So who wore it better? The woman who acted out a soap opera? Or the girl whose life is a soap opera?

“She works haaaard for the money, so haaaard for the money!”

Or does she? The salaries for characters on The Hills have made their way into the media, and it is UGG-ly. Everyone on that show is ridiculously overpaid, but Lauren Conrad is making a whopping $75,000 per episode. That is at least $10,000 more than any other character on that vile show. I suppose this piece of information has given me hope of starting a Hollywood career for myself. I am also a bitch who has no acting talent whatsoever, but apparently I can make some cash money looking like a ditz in front of the camera. I have a feeling that Donna Summer is truly appalled about this.

If anyone is interested, here is the recap of the anticipated (I don’t know why) guilty pleasure “The Hills.” Click on more.

Wonder how Lauren Conrad spends all that lovely money she makes playing herself? Well with the show returning, some nice person at Mainstreet.com spent what I’m sure was hours and hours putting together a detailed list of LC’s purchases. Enjoy!

TRANSPORTATION
LC tooled around Laguna Beach in a Toyota (TM) Forerunner in high school, and upgraded to her mom’s hand me down BMW 3-series upon making the move up to Hollywood. But now Lauren’s got a pair of new wheels of her own: A black Mercedes (DAI) CLK 350 Convertible, MSRP $54,500. And considering LC’s Forerunner was also handed down to her sister Breanna, we’re guessing the Conrads like to buy, not lease, their cars.

SHELTER
LC made the jump from renter to homeowner at the end of season two when she purchased a 3,009 square foot, 3 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom home with guest house (got to put Audrina somewhere!) in Hollywood for a cool $2.36 million. And the depressed market made it worth her while, the house was originally listed for $2.495 million. Assuming Lauren put 30% down on a 30-year fixed mortgage at 6.34%, she’s shelling out an estimated monthly payment of $10,365.83. Hope Audrina and Lo are kicking in some rent!

BEAUTY
LC was recently spotted devoting two hours at the Warren Tricomi salon in Los Angeles, getting her locks specially sun streaked. Highlights at the exclusive salon start at $221, and cuts start at $136! (And a golden girl can’t let those dark roots show, so LC touches up her locks at least every six weeks to maintain the perfectly natural look.)

WARDROBE
LC favors skinny denim and blousy tops by day and trendy dresses and heels for nights on the town. Here’s a sampling of duds straight from Lauren’s closet.

Day wear
Blouse by Tibi: $310 (marked down to $155) at Revolveclothing.com.
J Brand 12” Jeans – $165 at Los Angeles boutique Ron Herman.
Marc Jacobs Collection Quilted Margot Bag – $1,275 at eLuxury.com.
Every Hollywood girl needs at least a couple pairs of shades. LC has been spotted wearing these:
Marc Jacobs MJ Gold Aviators – $305 at Bloomingdale’s. (M)
Chloe Filao Sunglasses – $330 at Net-a-porter.com.
Rayban Wayfarers – $139.95 at the Sunglass Hut.
Dita Supa Dupa Sunglasses – $225 at Dita.

Evening Wear
D&G Dolce & Gabbana Mesh Overlay Dress (LC wore this to the New York Dark Knight premiere) – $645 at eLuxury.
Catherine Malandrino Watercolor Mini Dress – $347 (on sale from $495) at Neiman Marcus.
Christian Louboutin Very Noeud Slingbacks – $795 at Net-a-porter.com.

It Bag
Whether at Whole Foods (WFMI) or a fashion shoot, LC is rarely seen with out her jumbo Chanel 2.55 black quilted purse. For sale at Chanel boutiques – $3,000.

SAFETY NET
She’s reportedly paid about $1.5 million dollars to play herself on television each season, has endorsements with Mark cosmetics and AT&T, and designs her eponymous fashion line on the side.

But even if all those pursuits fail, she still probably won’t have too much trouble footing her bills. Her parents Jim and Kathy’s 8,000 square foot Laguna Beach home that was featured on Laguna Beach just went market for $17.9 million.