Lauren Conrad is officially invading my territory so I feel this is the best time to tell the bitch to back the fuck up.  College Tonight, a social networking site aimed at campus communities, has just hired the failed designer to talk about her opinions on fashion, style and being a complete pimple on the ass of society.

I wonder if this will pull from her time as an intern/reality star/designer.  It’s called stretching yourself thin Lauren, something Paris has a ton of experience in.  Pull the reigns or face the terror of being so in everyone’s face, they all turn on you, and move on to something younger.

READ MORE ABOUT: Lauren Conrad

Another forgettable star of The Hills is coming out with a line of clothes.  Whitney Port will be creating a contemporary label called Eve & A to compete with queen bee’s Lauren Conrad’s line of Rachel Pally knock-offs.  The collection will be geared towards girls who hate being second banana so expect some accessories perfect for back-stabbing.

For those of you who don’t know who Whitney is, she’s the less interesting on in the picture at left.

READ MORE ABOUT: Lauren Conrad, the hills, whitney port

We haven’t blessed anyone here for some time, preferring to Bash the hell out of some folks lately, but Stacy London (What Not To Wear) deserves some praise for her hot fire against television car crash (you just can’t look away) Lauren Conrad of The Hills.

At DIFFA’S Dining by Design gala last week stayed spewed this joynius, “I work with underprivileged girls, mostly minorities, who hate themselves because they don’t look like Lauren Conrad,” she fumed to All Steel’s gorgeous designer, Sarah Kloepfer. “Who the fuck wants to look like the girls on ‘The Hills’? They’re complete nitwits. Success is about more than acquiring a Hermes bag.”

Tell us how you really feel Stacey.  This may be the greatest thing a fashion person has ever said about Lauren Conrad, seriously.

READ MORE ABOUT: Lauren Conrad, stacy london

The reality-celebrity is a West Coast invention. As a former Los Angeles resident, and a native Angeleno, I can tell you living there is a bit like a Twilight Zone episode. Anything west of Sunset, is like driving into a David Lynch film. You have fake-actors pretending to be Charlie Chaplin and Marilyn Monroe along the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Fifteen photographers hounding some non-celebrity right next to homeless man begging for change. And all along Beverly Hills, aged beauty queens with more plastic in them than Amanda Lepore.

In short, it’s all about whoring yourself out.

With the new season of ‘The Hills‘ premiering tonight, a new trend in whoring yourself has begun. Whoring yourself into credibility. Or at least trying to. Lauren Conrad has been everywhere this past week, reminding us that her ambition is not to be followed around by a camera crew but rather for FASHION! Because let’s remember fashion is newest career choice for the vapid. You know what being a model/actress was a decade ago.

In the Weekend Editon of the Wall Street Journal (Yes the great Wall Street Journal actually wrote an article about that chick from the Hills) Conrad’s ‘team’ talk about building the Conrad brand. Since the beginning of the Hills run, Conrad has had an agent by the name of Max Stubblefield. In their first meeting she stressed that her real interest was being a fashion designer. Thus her agent plunged into the ubiquity of celebrity branding. In the past two years, Stubblefield has landed Conrad numerous licensing and endorsement deals. That’s busnisness speak for ‘other people do the work and a relatively famous person puts their name on it’. Then last Tuesday, Conrad debuted her first collection at Los Angeles Fashion Week, the Special Olympics of all the fashion weeks. And how was her collection? I’d say she has a future in design, if she were designing for Forever 21 that is. Because her clothing were blatant rip off of other designers. But buyers don’t listen to me because her clothing is featured in 500 boutiques around the country!!!

Do you hear that Fashion Indie readers? That’s the sound of indie designers throwing themselves from their apartment windows cause they just realized that instead of heading to four years at an accredited school like my near and dear Parsons, they should have been out whoring themselves for MTV, Bravo, or any other camera crew willing to follow their sorry asses around. (I hear that Girls Gone Wild is back on the prowl, hmmm?)

The problem with Lauren Conrad can best be described as a major problem with society and our respect for the craft and dedication to the art of fashion.  Hopefully Ms. Conrad’s latest endevour fades faster than a Paris Hilton flick that doesn’t include a money shot.

If not she’ll always have the camera crews!

READ MORE ABOUT: Lauren Conrad