- Liza Minnelli had to drop out of her Hot in Cleveland guest spot thanks to an injury. And that’s why you don’t challenge Betty White to a bare-knuckle street brawl. [Playbill]

- Milk rules everything around me. New York Fashion Week, y’all!  The Wu-Tang Clan brought a little bit of Shaolin to the fashion set last night at Milk Studios. [Paper]

- Gisele‘s Victoria’s Secret brethren (sisteren?) are rushing-ish to her defense after the fallout over Betrayed-Bro-gate. Quote Adriana Lima: “Leave her alone!”  [Vogue UK]

- Madonna responded to Flipped-Bird-gate, calling M.I.A.’s middle finger gesture a  ”teenager … irrelevant thing to do.” Then 80s Madonna responded to Now Madonna’s statement by flipping herself the bird and  telling her future self to lighten the fuck up. [Huff Po]

- Skin care brand REN decided to get all porny to celebrate their 10th anniversary with this soft-core bit of marketing. The protagonists may feel clean but I know that I could use a shower. [Fashionista]

- Stella McCartney has a new video for PETA that Cathy Horyn thinks is worth watching. Let me know, will ya. [NYT]

- Much like every diffusion line worth its salt, Jason Wu for Target sold out in, like, a day. [Racked]

- But this isn’t Target’s first time at the rodeo and the retailer is restocking their online shelves later this week. [InStyle]

- During the final three minutes of the Super Bowl there was an average of 10,000 tweets per second. That’s a lot of hashtalk. [TechCrunch]

- Vogue and Anna Wintour let Madonna have their logo free of charge for her half time show and as a result had the biggest bang for the smallest advertising buck of any of the big game’s blockbuster commercials. [WWD]

- Gisele can drop as many effing F-bombs as she effin’ likes since she’s the highest effing paid supermodel in the effing world. Dammit. [Modelinia]

- It’s no “The Boy Is Mine” but Brandy and Monica‘s new duet, “It All Belongs to Me,” is here. Sadly there’s no lyrical weave-snatching this time around. [Rap Up]

In case you can’t tell the above picture is of one of our favorite girls from Drag Race this season, Sharon Needles, and the below is Madonna. (Looking stunning at 103 53.)

So who do you think wore it best?

Editor’s note: I was going to title the post “Is Madonna sharing needles?!” but I decided to go for the high road. (A first for this site)

Image via: John Polly

- Red-hot raptress Azealia Banks is apparently bisexual. But then again she’s a 20-year old kid from New York, so that’s like saying she apparently carries a knife on her. No big deal. [NYT]

- Blake Lively, speaking to Elle about her future baby plans, expressed an interest in trannying up America’s youth. ”I hope to have a few girls one day. If not girls, they better be trannies. Because I have some amazing shoes and bags and stories that need to be appreciated.” Now that’s the hallmark of a good mother. Meanwhile, some people take offense at Lively’s — and others — use of “tranny,” but those trannies need to grow a pair. Through hormone injections, natch. [Elle]

- And speaking of trannies, Lana del Rey on the cover of Vogue UK everyone! [E! Online Twitter]

- Remember those jerks who were trying to oust Ellen DeGeneres from JC Penney’s new marketing campaign? The gays are not having it. [The Cut]

- And in other Ellen news, the talk show host challenged the First Lady of the United States to a push-up contest. And Michelle Obama was not having it. [Styleite]

Best Motion Picture — Drama - The Descendants

Best Motion Picture — Comedy or Musical - The Artist

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama - George Clooney, The Descendants

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Drama - Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Comedy or Musical - Jean Dujardin, The Artist

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture — Comedy or Musical -  Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn (meanwhile, calling it right now — Oscar)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture - Christopher Plummer, Beginners

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture - Octavia Spencer, The Help

Best Screenplay — Motion Picture - Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris

Best Director — Motion Picture - Martin Scorsese, Hugo

Best Animated Feature Film – The Adventures of Tintin

Best Foreign Language Film – A Separation (Iran)

Best Original Score — Motion Picture – The Artist

Best Original Song — Motion Picture – “Masterpiece”, W.E.

Best Television Series — Drama - Homeland

Best Television Series — Comedy or Musical - Modern Family (best acceptance speech of the night)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series — Drama - Kelsey Grammer, Boss

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series — Drama - Claire Danes, Homeland

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series — Comedy or Musical - Matt Leblanc, Episodes

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series — Comedy or Musical - Laura Dern, Enlightened

Now Mert and Marcus have been known to work miracles before, but even by their heavily-Photoshopped standards, Madge is playing fast and loose with her interpretation of “truth” here. As noted, the campaign images from Truth or Dare are outtakes from a 2010 photoshoot with Interview, for which Madonna apparently dug up her old face from the Bedtime Stories era. Either way, Madame Ciccone looks great.

Photo: Models.com

- Among the other Grammy honorees is the late Steve Jobs who will be posthumously awarded one of the Special Merit Awards. [E!]

- A brief history of glitter: from Neanderthals to World War II and Haitian voodoo. [Etsy on Vimeo]

- Details on Madonna’s Truth or Dare line have come flooding, including news that Madge will be recycling photos from a 2010 shoot with Mert and Marcus for Interview Magazine for the ad campaign. And the commercials will feature her classic 80s ballad, “Lazy for You.” [Madonnarama]

- Prince William and wife Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge may be of royal stock, but that don’t mean they don’t like to put it down on the dancefloor. At a charity event, Will ran into a sassy black girl — who probably said something along these lines — and the result was this priceless moment of shoulder-dusting. Kate lovingly looks on as if to say, “Oh, Will, you’re so hood in your comtempo-casual sweater and mom jeans.” Meanwhile the Prince should use this angle for every photo op from here on out. We haven’t been this attracted to him in ages. [Styleite]

-  London Fashion Week, known for gently nurturing young, emerging designers, apparently didn’t feel like breaking in a new class of Fashion East-sponsored designers and are re-using the same up-and-comers from last LFW. [Elle UK]

- The Kardashians have been accused of selling and endorsing products manufactured in Chinese sweatshops using child labor, an allegation that caught the klan unawares. Kim and co. claim that they are taking the accusations “very seriously,” but the head of China’s foremost human rights organization thinks they’re just a bunch of greedy liars. ”If they [the Kardashians] don’t stop endorsing these products or do anything to improve the conditions in the factories,” said Li Qiang, executive director of China Labor Watch, ”they are sending a message to the public saying, ‘We will do anything to make money.’” I think they sent that message a while ago. [Radar]

- Diane von Furstenberg thinks Bernard Arnault should throw his $41-billion weight around and step in to solve the ongoing skirmish over the fashion week calendar. [WSJ]

Photo: People

- Britney Spears‘ fiance, Justin Trawick apparently told jeweler Neil Lane he “didn’t want an over-the-top ring with a giant stone.” So Lane instead opted for subtlety and nothing says subtlety like 90 small diamonds around a big — but not giant — diamond. [People]

- Between Lanvin Petite‘s $1570 trenches and Young Versace‘s new boutique featuring a merry-go-round, kids are hitting the runway before hitting the playground. [WWD, WWD]

- Someone clearly lost a finger over this appearance on Anderson Cooper‘s talk show. No one makes Madonna sound like two obese gimps going at it in a pool of hot wax and gets away with it. [Styleite]

- Some people are real assholes during the holidays. [Racked]

- And some people are surprisingly amazing. [Jezebel]

- Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is getting the Juicy Couture sweatpants sued right off of her. The pocket-guidette filed suit to end her contract with licensing company, SRG Ventures in October. SRG has now countered with their own suit to the tune of $7 million, but jokes on them: all of Snooki’s assets are tied up in Valtrex stock and deep-fried pickle bonds. [NY Post]

1. Madonna vs Fear of Tigers – Ray of Pain

2. The Venus Stare – Close to You (Fear of Tigers Remix)

3. Lykke Li – Breaking It Up (Punks Jump Up Remix)

4. John Legend – Rolling In The Deep

5. The Ting Tings – Silence (Bag Raiders Remix)

6. Jake Island feat. Joanna – What If You Wanted More?

7. Foster the People – Helena Beat (Build Remix)

8. Chromeo – When the Night Falls

9. Tommie Sunshine & Shinichi Osawa – Love Will Guide You

10. Robyn – Indestructible (A-Trak Remix)

11. Moulinex – Breakchops

12. Florence and the Machine – Dog Days Are Over

13. Dragonette – Pick Up The Phone (Michael Van She Remix)

14. Penguin Prison – Fair Warning (Oliver Remix)

15. Lady GaGa – Born This Way (Grum Remix)

16. Adele – Someone Like You (Panic City remix)

17. The Good Natured – Skeleton

18. Martin Solveig – The Night Out

19. Delphic – Halcyon (Clancy Remix)

20. Peter & The Magician – Twist

21. Pony Pony Run Run – Hey You! (Go Go Bizkitt Remix)

22. Dirty Vegas – Little White Doves (Nightriders Remix)

23. The Futureheads – Heartbeat Song (Edwin van Cleef Remix)

24. CocknBullKid – Hold On to Your Misery

25. Florence and the Machine – Take Care (ColeCo Remix)

26. M83 – Midnight City (Alcala Remix)

“I remember getting quite a bit of criticism for my first Madonna cover,” Wintour said of the May 1989 issue. “And you know, ‘She’ll never sell.’ And it was a little bit risky. And it was up something extraordinary, like 40 percent on newsstands. So that was an eye-opener to all of us.”

This was just a year after Wintour had taken over at Vogue, and her word was not yet law. There was even some doubt surrounding her first cover from November 1988, featuring model Michaela Bercu in (a stunning Christian Lacroix top and) a pair of regular old blue jeans, of all things: “To me, it just said, ‘This is something new. This is something different.’ And I remember the printers called us up because they thought we’d made a mistake. Just wanting to check that that actually was the cover.”

Wintour  has always followed her instincts, for better or worse, and claims she doesn’t care much for market research. “Sometimes they’re successful and obviously sometimes they’re not. But you have to, I think, remain true to what you believe in.” Not a bad philosophy to live by. [WWD]

The Lady made her solo directorial debut  to chronicle what she describes as the “worst day” of her life. I’m assuming it has to do with some sort of attempt at self-mutilation/destruction, as a “next season Calvin Klein“-wearing Gaga is wheeled into a clinic by similarly-attired nurses. Seems that after her ballet instructor told her to hang up her pointe shoes, the Lady went all Black Swan in her apartment — weeping, screaming, breaking glasses, stripping down in a tub and dying her hair blue: a perfectly rational reaction.

Following her hospital stint, Gaga is determined to be a star now that she “has nothing to lose.”  She slips into Madonna‘s discarded Desperately Seeking Susan skin to return to her dance school to show them what-for — and in a stiletto no less. A Fame-like dance number ensues with cars exploding all over the place as the song violently careens into its thrilling conclusion — accompanied by a high-speed, high-fashion montage. It’s an orgy of 80s nostalgia and over-the-top opulence and gamely displays Lady Gaga’s talents as a director, actress and pyromaniac.  Strap on your Mugler tutus and get ready to pirouette into the secret history of Lady Gaga.

Check out highlights from the interview below.

The Material Girl line has a vintage feel to it — does your style come from a similar place?
Definitely. I think I take my style from all walks of life, and all generations and decades of life as well. I love mixing ’50s with ’80s and classic with punk. And i think that’s what this line embodies. It allows you to rework the same pieces in different ways so people don’t realize that you’ve worn it before. I mean, I wear the same thing all the time — if I’m at home, I’m in sweatpants. I don’t care. But when you go out, you want something that’s versatile.

What excites you the most about being the face of Material Girl?
To have Madonna ask you to be the face of her brand, that’s the coolest thing ever. As a young girl who grew up idolizing her and thinking that she was the be-all and end-all of how women should be, being the face of Material Girl is the greatest honor I’ve ever had.

You’re a member of the Fashion Police, but what’s the worst fashion faux pas that you’ve personally committed?
Sweat stains on clothes! I’ll never be one of these girls who could walk into anything and say, ‘I can do this!’ I always get nervous. I always get scared. I’m even nervous about judging these girls for this contest! You never want to disappoint, you never want to say that wrong thing. I get nervous and then I start sweating. People literally interview me on the red carpet and I’m like dabbing my top lip, trying to be subtle about it. I’m like oh my God, get me out!

So do you get nervous when you do a taping of Fashion Police?
No, because Joan is just so funny! We’re like a family now. It’s mainly a comedy show based on fashion and it’s one of those things where you have to have a sense of humor about yourself.

To read the entire interview, visit Refinery29.

Grazia Dailly reports that in an interview with Gabbana in The Times, fashion editor Laura Craik brought up Madonna’s new lifestyle brand — and it did not go over well:

Asked about Madonna (the day before we meet, WWD announces that she is to launch a new clothing collection), Gabbana becomes unusually un-chatty. What does he think of the news?

“Good.”

She’ll be ringing you up for a bit of advice soon.

“No”

Oh, OK then. Why not?

“No, she knows many things. She has a style. There are a lot of pop stars making fashion collections – Kylie and J.Lo, Puff Daddy and Kanye West.” He pauses for a beat. “Maybe next season, we should sing a song.”

What could have caused this apparent rift? After all, it’s not like Madonna’s line is going to be in direct competition with Dolce and Gabbana. And even if it was, I think we all know who’d win. No, there’s something else happening here…mayhaps it’s time for the Hardy Gays to investigate.

Admittedly, we’ve been too busy getting sloshed on tequila sunrises to solve any further mysteries, but this case is right up our drunken alley. [Grazia]

Madonna also opens up to HB‘s Naomi Wolf about motherhood, womanhood, growing up and growing older:

“The other day, I was out on the street with Lourdes. She wasn’t feeling well and had a fever. She was wearing her tracksuit bottoms and her T-shirt, and she turned around and was like, ‘Ugh, there’s a paparazzi, and I look like shit!’ I felt for her because, you know, I thought, this is an extra layer. It’s already a challenge to have a teenager, then to have a teenager in New York City, and on top of that, she’s the daughter of someone famous. It’s a lot. I’m aware of it, and I constantly find myself apologizing for it. But it also provokes many discussions with us about what’s real and what isn’t real.”

“I think that the world is not comfortable with female sexuality. It’s always coming from a male point of view, and a woman is being objectified by a man — and even women are comfortable with that. But when a woman does it, ironically, women are uncomfortable with it. I think a lot of that has to do with conditioning…When women are perceived as powerful and doing something they aren’t supposed to be doing, they are often portrayed as sexual predators.”

“For some reason, I feel like I never left high school, because I still feel that if you don’t fit in, you’re going to get your ass kicked,” she says. “That hasn’t really changed for me. I’ve always been acutely aware of differences and the way you are supposed to act if you want to be popular.”

“I find whenever someone writes anything about me, my age is right after my name[," says Madonna, 252]. “It’s almost like they’re saying, ‘Here she is, but remember she’s this age, so she’s not that relevant anymore.’ Or ‘Let’s punish her by reminding her and everyone else.’ When you put someone’s age down, you’re limiting them.”

A wise poetess once told me age ain’t nothin’ but a number. Madonna could be 800 years old — and there’s no proof that she isn’t — but that train’s gonna keep on chugging whether you’re at the station or not. [Harper's Bazaar]

The scent, a combination of multiple notes including gardenia, tuberose, neroli and jasmine, was inspired by the Material Girl’s late mother: “My oldest memory of my mother is her perfume. I carry it with me everywhere. She always smelled like gardenias and tuberose, an intoxicating mixture [that was] feminine and mysterious. I wanted to re-create this scent, but with something fresh and new about it as well. Something honest and yet daring — hence the name ‘Truth or Dare.’”

Madonna worked with Coty on everything from the scent’s development and marketing to the free gift-with-purchase, after preliminary talks began this past spring. Coty, no doubt excited to collaborate with a legend and not just another teeny-bopper flavor of the year, started working on the fragrance before anything was even signed.

The “Truth or Dare” line will include a $28 body lotion and a $25 shower gel, while the perfume will be available in two sizes in the US — a 50 mL bottle for $55 and a 70 mL bottle for $68 — with a 30 mL bottle being sold internationally.

As for the promotion, Madge is gearing up for a multi-media onslaught to coincide with her new album — also set for release next year — that will see her starring in global TV, print, online and outdoor marketing. Much-in-demand photographic duo Mert and Marcus have already shot the print component. [WWD]

“Over the past several years, I have been approached countless times to create my own brand,” said Madame Ciccone. “The timing is right and I have found great partners in Iconix, who can help translate my vision to reality.”

Iconix CEO Neil Cole seconded that emotion: “After the highly successful launch of the junior brand Material Girl, we knew there would be a tremendous demand for a brand that Madonna herself is the face of and that truly captures her essence.”

Lady Madonna is already developing a scent with noted celebrity perfumer Coty and will eventually roll out footwear, handbags and intimate apparel.

Is anyone else hoping for a mass-produced version of the Gaultier cone bra? [WWD]

*Kate Middleton‘s Alexander McQueen was a late addition and Rubenstein had to cut one of the dresses to keep the list to 100. So it was sayonara Nancy Reagan and her white one-shoulder inauguration ball gown. Michelle Obama‘s Jason Wu, however, remained in tact. [WWD, sub req'd]

Gwen Stefani back in the day when she rocked that classic cotton candy hair.

It’s been a banner year for RiRi. Not only did she land one of the worst Vogue covers of all time a cover of Vogue, the pop tart just broke Madonna‘s record — thus wiping out the entirely heavenly host — for the fastest popstar to reach 20 Hot 100 top 10 singles — an awkward record, but a record nonetheless.

Racking up those top 10 hits in six years and four months, Rihanna beats Her Madgesty by a good five months. Luckily, she’s still behind the all-time record holder — The Beatles (duh) — who did it without breaking a sweat in two years and seven months.

Anyway, her musical accomplishments — or lack thereof —  aside, Rihanna gets down and dirty in a sexy photoshoot for Esquire, blah blah blah, she’s not wearing clothes what else is new? Photos and video below. I’m bored. [Esquire]

Hats: An Anthology by Stephen Jones began as a collaboration between the Victoria and Albert Museum in London and Stephen Jones, legendary milliner who has collaborated with Christian Dior, Marc Jacobs and Comme des Garçons among others.  The exhibition had over 350,000 visitors in London and Australia and now travels to the Bard Graduate Center in New York for its first U.S. presentation.

Designs by Philip Treacy, Chanel and Yohji Yamamoto are displayed, as well as hats worn by Sarah Jessica Parker, Madonna and Mick Jagger, and avid collectors like Isabella Blow. The exhibition includes Jones’ curated collection of couture headwear along with special loans found only in the U.S., including Babe Ruth’s baseball cap and a top hat worn by President Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Other topics Ford explores in his interview include his return to fashion and the why of it: ”Because I’m not Doing The Fashion System. I don’t do shows. I don’t have reviews. I’m not putting the clothes on every celebrity so that by the time they reach the store the customers are sick of seeing them.” *Cough, Prada, Gucci, Dolce and Gabbana, cough.*

Speaking of Gucci, Ford compares his time at the Italian luxury house to the work he does now: “At Gucci, it was all about creating The Look each season The Shoe, The Bag, The Hair. But now I have no desire to create The Look. I just want to make beautiful, glamorous clothes.” Pity he won’t wear them, though.”

But before sending a look down the intimate, exclusive runway, Ford always has his PR lady Whitney or Carine Roitfeld when she’s not pussyfooting with Karl Lagerfeld, try it on: ”If they don’t wear it, it doesn’t go into production.”

As for that infamous French Vogue he guest edited for Roitfeld, Ford explains his reasoning behind all the geriatric grinding: ”My mother doesn’t like me saying this but she’s in her late seventies and her boyfriend’s in his late sixties. The point is she’s active and looks amazing, and yet we’ve taught ourselves to think that ageing’s embarrassing. That’s why I left all the wrinkles in the story shot for French Vogue of an old couple having sex”.

[Quick joke, what does one call a 78-year-old cougar? Madonna,10 years ago. *Rimshot.*]

And then there’s Ford’s burgeoning film career after 2009′s wonderful A Single Man. While his next film, allegedly a comedy, is “ready to go,” the life of a filmmaker has its difficulties: ”I would lose my mind if I just did films…I enjoy the speed of fashion. I love doing different things and I think I still have something valid to say in fashion.” I fully support that — I always find whatever Tom Ford says to be valid, no matter how batshit it is. [Telegraph]

Thank you. Madge looks the best I’ve seen her in 102 years in this Vionnet gown, but the real kicker are the giant, completely unnecessary but nonetheless perfect sunglasses studded with red crystals. While Madonna looks great, the advanced buzz for W.E. is…god awful. Swept Away 2: On the Shores of Failure.

L.A. Triumph claims they hold original trademark rights since their Material Girl juniors clothing line has been sold through Nordstrom and other retailers since 1997. Madonna’s Material Girl, on the other lace-gloved hand, launched just last year.

Madge tried to argue that she was the senior user, having recorded the song some 26 years ago for her Like a Virgin album and basically originating the term, but Judge S. James Otero rejected that argument.

So come mid-October, Material Girl is going to court. L.A. Triumph is seeking unspecified monetary damages and an injunction to force Madonna to change the name of her clothing line.

“Experience has made me rich and now they’re after me.” Truer words were never sung, Mme. Ciccone. [WWD]

NEW YORK

- Speaking of LOVE’s 245 (I’m rounding) covers, here’s eight of them. [Models.com]

- Shield your eyes, children, lest you want your illusions shattered. Karl Lagerfeld actually has eyes behind those sunglasses and not Chanel doorknockers like I always hoped/expected. [Fashionologie]

- Demi Moore‘s the new surgically-enhanced face of Ann Taylor. [Style.com]

- My own personal hell…inside Vogue‘s shoe closet, where I’m sure there is nothing in a size 13 womens. Le sigh. [Styleite]

- Stills from Madonna‘s historical romantic drama, W.E. have leaked and they look like a mix of “Vogue,” “Take A Bow” and Evita. So clearly I’m on board. [Fashionista]

The August issue of Tatler includes a tongue-in-chic take on some of our favorite fashion icons, from Madonna to a tastefully done Princess Diana (Take note, Newsweek). The editorial is entitled “Don’t You Know Who I Am?” and was shot by Robert Trachtenberg with fashion editor Anna Bromilow.

The spread is as much a look forward as it is a nostalgia trip, as all of the designs featured are from current Fall/Winter collections, including Prada, Versace, Chanel, and more. Perhaps it will make up for their rather ghastly (and we’re assuming, unapproved) cover of Pippa Middleton.

Drew Barrymore applies one thin coat of mascara, waits a few seconds and curls her lashes. We love Christian Dior DiorShow Mascara and the Tweezerman ProCurl Eyelash Curler.

Brazilian beauty Raquel Zimmermann runs around in Alex Wang Fall 2011 ready-to-wear with some sort of flare in hand and SebastiAn and M.I.A.’s “C.T.F.O.” blasting in the background.

Fabien Baron — perhaps best know for Sex with Madonna* — directed the ad, a moody meditation on modeling in an abandoned grain factory in Red Hook, Brooklyn.

Thoughts?:

And if you still want the full, projected-on-building effect, you still have tonight and tomorrow to get you some Wang. [WWD]

*Sidebar: Remember how awesome Madonna was?

[Nicola Formichetti's Blog!!]

The designer was on hand to discuss the exhibit and revealed he initially didn’t even want to do it:

“…[A] retrospective usually follows your funeral and I’m still alive, but Nathalie Bondil [director and chief curator at the MMFA] convinced me. The purpose is to show what I want to say through clothes. It is to make clothes that you will love and wear. It’s a good way to show my themes.”

Those themes, explored in “From Sidewalk to Catwalk,” are the Odyssey of JPG, Boudoir, Skin Deep, Punk Can-Can, Urban Jungle and Metropolis and are displayed to full effect on lifelike mannequins. These mannequins bear the faces of real people, filmed and projected onto them, thus giving them the appearance of winking, moving their jaws and speaking.

Featuring 130 pieces culled from more than 150 of Gauliter’s collections, starting from his first in 1976, the exhibit also includes clothes Gaultier made for films and even Madonna‘s iconic cone bra.

Luckily, the Canucks won’t be hoarding this exhibit for too long. After it closes at the MMFA October 2nd, it will move to the Dallas Museum of Art from November13th through February 12th and from there to the de Young Museum in San Francisco from the end of March through July. [WWD]

Fashion of His Love : Lady Gaga : This bouncy and all the way uppity tribute to McQueen inspires fabulosity. But really, you could listen to every track ever laid by Mother Monster and have an excellent getting ready sesh.

Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag : James Brown : Get funky. He might even inspire you to wear that brand new purchase.

Wondaland : Janelle Monáe : Ethereally uplifting, it’ll get you ready for the wonderland you’re about to party at.

Flashing Lights : Kanye West : Prepare for the flashes from your personal (or professional) paparazzi.

Fancy : Drake : You fancy, huh?

Filthy and Gorgeous : Scissor Sisters : Cause you’re filthy and I’m gorgeous.

Young Hearts Run Free : Kym Mazelle : This might impede your getting ready process, unless your process involves spinning ’round in raining glitter.

Free Your Mind : En Vogue : And the rest will follow.

On Point : Electrik Red : Get an education on How To Be a Lady.

Hot for You : Brainstorm : Ten minutes of disco heaven.

Sexi Bitch : David Guetta ft Akon : Damn, they’ve laid out your getting ready aspirations.

Flashback : Calvin Harris : Reminisce about a great night while getting ready for another.

Bad Habits : Maxwell : Take a moment to slow it down a touch – good for eye makeup application.

Sleigh Bells : Kids : Dub steppin’ metal move.

Electric Feel : MGMT : Jolt some voltage into your body.

Just Can’t Get Enough : Depeche Mode : But remember Chanel’s golden rule, take off the last thing you put on.

Give Me Everything : Pitbull ft Ne Yo : Know what you want and sieze it all in the night.

Run the World : Beyoncé : B has started a revolution ‘pon de floor. Dress accordingly.

Don’t Wanna Go Home : Jason Derulo : Daylight come when you get home.

We R Who We R : Ke$ha : For the kinda night that’ll end all sloppy. You won’t remember, and it’s probably for the best.

You Make My Dreams Come True : Hall & Oates : Stay with the eighties for a moment more because, and I quote a Youtube comment, “This is exactly how I feel after sex? ……….. Every time.”

Just Dance : Lady Gaga : Gaga fittingly makes the list again with her epic first anthem to partying.

Revolver (one love remix) : Madonna & David Guetta : This one’s killer.

Not Myself Tonight : Christina Aguilera : Prepare yourself for a night where anything is possible.

Milkshake : Kelis : It’s not exactly the pre-game we had in mind, but if it brings all the boys to the yard…

Dancing On My Own : Robyn : What else would you be doing whilst getting dressed?

Ooh Yeah : Moby : Oh yeah, this song will get you pumped on the upbeat.

Prendre L’Air : Shy’m : Everything sounds better in French.

What do YOU listen to while getting all glam for an evening?

Fabulous photo courtesy of Flying Saucer

Photo: Daily Mail

Madonna co-wrote the romantic drama with her Truth or Dare collaborator Alek Keshishian, which stars Abbie Cornish as a woman who becomes enraptured with the early 20th century romance between Britain’s King Edward VIII and American divorcee Wallis Simpson.

Sure, it sounds like a snoozefest, but if Harvey Weinstein likes it — and he does, saying that Madge “has really come into her own as a filmmaker” and that W.E. is ”smart, sexy and thoroughly modern” – the Academy might as well throw an Oscar in Madonna’s freakishly ageless face.

Five words: The King’s Speech , Part II. [L.A. Times]

The reclusive designer announced yesterday that he would present a line of “semicouture” during Paris’ Couture Fashion Week, which runs from July 4th-8th.

After the death of his sister in the mid-90s, Alaïa chose to retreat from the spotlight and presented only to a chosen few at his studio. Despite this, his designs remained popular with Madonna, Victoria Beckham, Carine Roitfeld, Michelle Obama and of course, adopted daughter, Naomi Campbell. [Vogue UK]

Everyone and their post-partum depressed mother hovered on down to Chicago’s United Center for the filming of Surprise Oprah! A Farewell Spectacular — her two penultimate shows before the Apocalypse finale May 25th.

Oprah, through forced laughter: "Who the hell let you in here?"

Tom Hanks, noted maniac Tom Cruise, noted maniac Madonna, Dakota Fanning, Halle Berry, noted coma victim Katie Holmes, scissor sisters Queen Latifah and Rosie O’Donnell, the Pinkett-Smiths and BFFs Gayle King and Maria Shriver — who had a brave face put on for her last minute as her husband had just admitted that in addition to iron he was pumping the help — all showed up to “surprise” and pay tribute to their queen.

Sidebar: Oprah is omniscient, like all deities, so there was no pulling the wool over those bag-ridden eyes.

Madonna: "I can barely get my arms around you!"/ Oprah: "Keep trying."

Surprise performers included Beyoncé (who had to perform “Run the World (Girls)” twice at the behest of producers), Patti LaBelle and Josh Groban (“Over the Rainbow”), Stevie Wonder and Jamie Foxx (“Isn’t She Lovely,” and Stevie even wrote a new song for Oprah that will no doubt be adopted as our national anthem), as well as Kristin Chenoweth, Alicia Keys, Usher and another queen in her own right, Aretha Franklin, who took everyone to church with “Amazing Grace.”

Simon Cowell, openly bored.

Someone even let Stedman out of his cage to make a little speech!

And of course what tribute to Oprah would be complete without national treasure and global renaissance woman Dr. Maya Angelou? The 83-year-old offered up a poem to honor O. Luckily a box of tissues was on hand for each audience member, tucked knowingly under their seats.

Oprah clearly doesn’t fuck around and considering these were her second and third-to-last shows, I can only imagine what the final episode will  be: disaster.

Link Love: Us Weekly / Photos: Socialite Life

1. Paris Is Burning (1990)

Set amidst the backdrop of 80s New York ball culture, Paris Is Burning is an exploration of beauty, race, sexuality, capitalism and the American Dream, all wrapped up in a dragtastic homage to the transformative powers of fashion. Also, where do you think Madonna learned to Vogue?

See Also: To Wong Foo — Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1994) Drag queens, yes; acute social commentary, not so much…but how can you argue with this? Oh, that’s right, you can’t.

*Andre Leon Talley wins the award for best purple tent. As always, his volumes are amazing.

Let’s take a look at the Best Dressed of the night. This category has quite a bit of people, as it should, for fashion’s biggest event. These were the As and high Bs, the working girls.

Shalom Harlow is my pick for BEST DRESSED in Marchesa. This is what the Met Ball is all about – she looks breathtaking in that gown.

I almost fell over when I saw Christina Ricci in Zac Posen. She never ages a day and looks super sexy in this sheer number.

I found Mary-Kate’s dress underwhelming, but Ashley Olsen looks ravishing in vintage Dior Haute Couture. The whole look is perfect.

Elle Fanning looks like a little couture doll in Valentino. She is so outshining her sister, it’s not even fair.

Rihanna has been looking haggard lately, so I was pleasantly surprised at how elegant she was in this striking Stella McCartney gown.

Iman, also in Stella McCartney, turned it out in a metallic gold jumpsuit. A little draggy, a lot amazing.

Karolina Kurkova in a spring 2011 Jean Paul Gaultier lace legging-dress creation. If the models can’t do it, who can?

I love this Prabal Gurung gown and funky jewelry on Ciara. White could be difficult to pull off at the ball, but she did it right.

Even though Crystal Renn is too skinny for my taste, she is an absolute vision in Alexander McQueen. I need my hair to look like this.

After getting ready in a Barneys window yesterday, Daphne Guiness showed up in McQueen. Perfect, amazing, stuns.

I loved Ginnifer Goodwin‘s look from the moment  I saw it. Then I realized it was custom Topshop. Damn she makes it look good.

Naomi Campbell looks like the queen she is in custom McQueen. She wears the sedatives well too.

Hamish Bowles looks like a true gentleman in custom McQueen. Love it from head to toe.

I always wait with baited breath to see what Blake Lively is wearing. She obviously did not disappoint in a Chanel toga.

New York’s best couple showed up looking better than ever. Beyonce is working that Emilio Pucci gown like whoa.

Queen Bitch Anna Wintour gave her best smile to the camera and looks like a shiny grandiose statue in Chanel.

On to the Most Boring of the night. On any other occasion, these folks would have looked great (probably). Unfortunately, this also means they’re the Cs of the Met Ball.

I’m sleeping. Zoe Saldana is usually among the best dressed. Why did she choose this boring Calvin Klein for the biggest fashion night of the year?

Leighton Meester is amazing, but she has trouble getting it right. Different shoes and hair would have done this Louis Vuitton dress more justice.

I love this Michael Kors dress on Emma Roberts, but she has the body to wear something more over the top on a night like this.

Madonna, the Material Girl herself, definitely could have done better than this Stella McCartney dress. Pretty, but boring.

I’m actually quite obsessed with this Miu Miu dress Michelle Williams is wearing. But I would wear this to a nice dinner, not a gala.

And now ladies and gentleman, the Worst Dressed of the night. These are the Ds and Fs of the Met Ball, the creme de la creme of mistakes.

ARGH! Christina Hendricks used to dress so well! This Carolina Herrera gown is an unflattering fit and color on her.

Oh dear. Hate to say it Alicia Keys, but it looks like you’re wearing a giant turd instead of Givenchy. Brown jacket AND dress is NOT fly.

Jennifer Lopez looks like a halfway plucked bloody chicken. Matchy-matchy lipstick, bag and Gucci is a no go.

I thought Chloe Sevigny would make McQueen look good, but I was wrong. The hair is awful and the dress fits like she grabbed it off some rack.

Sorry to say it Kate Hudson, but this Stella McCartney is not a cute pregnant lady dress. And whatever is on your head isn’t working either.

Nooooo! In the rush of preparing for the gala, Lucy Liu forgot to get a wax! Oh wait, that’s just her looking blech in Vionnet.

I hope everyone enjoying looking at the red carpet photos from the 2011 Met Gala as much as I. Who was your best and worst dressed of the night?

In the book’s introduction, Sally Singer, editor of T Magazine, is quick to point out that this is not your typical behind the curtains tome. That’s owed primarily to the fact that Julien Claessens is not a fashion photographer. In fact he admits that he doesn’t really understand fashion, but he understands his friend Olivier’s work.

So it’s no surprise that his photos aren’t perfectly-posed, editorial-ready snapshots, but abstract portraits that offer a glimpse into a world of extremes: extreme beauty, extreme bodies and an almost otherworldly charm. The star of these portraits, however, are still Theyskens minutely-crafted work.

Like malleable sculptures, Theyskens clothes wrap and drape themselves over the skeletal  frames of Lily Donaldson, Hilary Rhoda, Gemma Ward, Olga Sherer, Lara Stone, Tanya Dziahileva, Catherine McNeil and Sasha Pivovarova, lending a strength, elegance and sophistication otherwise at odds with their prepubescent fragility.

The Other Side of the Picture chronicles Theyskens career chronologically, ending before he began his newest phase at Theory, but Nina Ricci’s Fall/Winter ’09 collection is a fitting denouement, both for the book and for Theyskens time at the brand. That particular collection is the peak of Theyskens craft and a comforting reminder that talent like his shall and will not be wasted. Also, I’m still not over these tranny heels:

Julien Claessens, without understanding fashion, is able to completely grasp the work of Olivier Theyskens. As Claessens says about his friend’s work, “There’s something here that is part of my universe.” His clothes speak, live and breathe through Claessens’ photos because Theyskens intended them to speak, live and breathe on the women he dresses. Claessens and Theyskens simply speak the same language.

What owning this book says about you: You’re a serious-minded fashionista who admires Olivier’s dark aesthetic and/or his dark hotness.

What your dinner guests will say upon seeing this book on your coffee table: “Oh, wow, someone’s pretentious. And fabulous.”

How this book will make your fashion brain grow: Though you’re not likely to gain much in the way of knowledge from The Other Side of the Picture, you’re heart will swell at its beauty.

If you like this, you’ll love: Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty. The book to the Met exhibit is on sale — having had a quick look at it this morning we can definitely say it is worth the 30 bucks (plus free shipping, y’all!)

*The Queen, it should be noted, is a huge SATC fan, though. She’s a total Samantha.

- Flavor Flav, he always said he wanted to wear Big Ben as a necklace

- Michelle Obama, at least one of us will be wearing McQueen

- Cher, I really want to gay this wedding up and Elton John‘s been slacking lately

- Sean Penn, I have a thing for Madonna‘s exes

- Muammar Gaddafi, too soon?

- Lady Gaga, only so she can see what it feels like not being the center of attention

- Naomi Campbell, I already added blood diamonds to the bridal registry

- The girls of Sex and the City, I wonder if they can write me into the third movie

- Fergie, the one from the Black Eyed Peas

- And since I was a wee Kate, I’ve wanted The Spice Girls at my wedding!  Except Posh, I never really cared for her…

- Fellow lady journalist, Lady Gaga, is skyrocketing up the publishing ladder with her latest gig as guest global editor-in-chief of Metro, you know that free mag someone’s always trying to shove in your face as you rush for the subway in the morning? Gags will take over for one day May 17th, a day before her album drops. Baby, she was born to market. [Styleite]

- Andrew Lloyd Webber thinks Madonna would be the perfect Norma Desmond in the film version of his musical based on the film (meta), Sunset Boulevard, saying: “She’s the right age. I’ve not got through to her. She hasn’t taken my call this time.” Andy, maybe it’s because you’re basically calling her a crazy, over-the-hill, man-chasing, delusional diva. Some people just can’t handle the truth. [Playbill]

- Diane Von Furstenberg‘s first fragrance will launch this October in Europe, North America and the Middle East. I bet it smells like a bitch slap, sun tan lotion and money. [WWD]

- The Daily Beast compiled a list of the most expensive royal weddings. Charles and Di‘s legendary fête cost $4.7 million. Security: $600,000; 5-ft tall cake: $40,000; flowers and decorations: $100,000; marital bliss: …I think they lost that receipt. William and Kate‘s wedding is expected to cost $16 million, so I expect a 15-ft tall cake, thank you. [Daily Beast]

- Some bitter queens at Chanel USA apparently had some “grumblings” over Gossip Girl star Blake Lively being named the brand’s Purse Ambassador — considering her look “off-brand.” Karl Lagerfeld, meanwhile, immediately had the disgruntled employees taken out back and turned into Chanel quilted handbags that he later gifted to Blake as a token of his esteem. [Daily News]

- Beyoncé has dropped her father Matthew Knowles as her manager after overseeing her career from Destiny’s baby to an Independent Woman [Part 1]. Now if only we can convince her to drop her mom Tina as a stylist…and then maybe bomb the House of Dereon…we can get the U.S.S. Fierce back on course. [Popeater]

- For Halloween, an industrious British gay — I’d say “flaming fag” but that’s completely something else over there — super-glued a tiny sequined hat to his adorable little, queer head. When the hat wouldn’t come off he visited the ER where they mercifully cut off part of the chapeau, leaving only the brim which came off hours later. Personally, I don’t see the problem with a tiny sequined hat permanently affixed to my head. Some say problem, I say party…24-7. [Huff Po]

- Talking plastic replicas of Jean Paul Gaultier and some of his famous clients will adorn the designer’s retrospective at the Musée des Beaux-Arts de Montréal this June. Also on display will be Madonna’s famous conical bras which you can use to pierce those talking plastic replicas in their creepy talking plastic faces. [The Cut]

- Reese Witherspoon got married to someone who’s not Ryan Phillippe so I clearly don’t care, but seems someone couldn’t help stealing the spotlight; among the guests at the wedding were new couple, Oscar-winner Sean Penn and Tony-winner (that must be a type-o) Scarlett Johansson. Let’s see, Sean Penn doesn’t have the greatest track record with women, so I’m just going to sit this one out and wait for the inevitable police report. [Popeater]

- Teen blogger Tavi Gevinson might be getting disillusioned with fashion. I remember when I first got disillusioned about something…breast feeding was never the same. [Fashionista]

- It seems no matter what Madonna tries to do in, around, or for Malawi, she just can’t get a break. Following the controversy surrounding the perhaps not-so-legal adoption of son, David Banda — and she apparently picked up another African baby, daughter Mercy James along the way — Madge tried to open up a school for girls. Well, that fell through and now 8 former employees of the superstar’s Raising Malawi charity are suing her over the loss of their jobs. Madge, just leave helping out Africa to the pros: Oprah and Angelina Jolie. [Guardian]

Pulling the legendary Disco Stick from the sacred Madonna Stone, Stef climbed her way through the bowels of Lower East Side Hell, vanquishing the lesser popstarlets who dared stand, sing off-key and badly dance in her way.

Along the way she befriended the trickster, Nicola Formichetti, the genie, Alexander McQueen and she even managed to soften the heart of Anna Wintour, the much-feared Ice Queen of Vogue. And when times looked bleak and impossible, she simply used her telephone hair piece to call in the aid of Beyoncé, the Good Queen of Fierce.

Newly crowned Lady Gaga, she rules over the millions of Little Monsters around the world. Today we raise our paws to celebrate a quarter century of Gaga; for inside Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, was always the spirit of Gaga, dwelling in patience for her time to come…or for Akon to sign her.

Now everyone, JUST DANCE!

LINKLOVE:  ALEX KAZEMI