1. Quit this: Birkenstocks
A mandal by any other name would look as bad.

Hit this: Espadrilles
An Hermès espadrille may not be ideal for Ultimate Frisbee in the quad, but it’s more than appropriate for quick munchie runs.

2. Quit this: Tie-Dye
Psychedelia  gave us many things, none of them as enduring or as tacky as tie-dye.

Hit this: Bold prints
Pucci prints are as trippy as they come so you can easily get lost staring into them for hours on end.

3. Quit this: Hemp
A durable and versatile fabric, there are more chic ways to green your wardrobe, especially without using your green.

Hit this: Organic fabrics
If you’re all about sustainability and that crap, H&M‘s new Conscious Collection is easy on the environment and on your wallet.

4. Quit this: Puka shell necklaces
Ah, the puka shell necklace, or as I like to think of it, shorthand for letting everyone know you’re a complete tool.

Hit this: Statement jewelry
A statement necklace says something completely different, like “I’m high as a kite right now and I’m going to dress like it.”

5. Quit this: Ponchos
If you’ve been indulging a little too much in the late night Taco Bell, then by all means, drape an unflattering carpet over yourself.

Hit this: Capes
However, a cape like this Alexander McQueen number is a fashionable alternative to the poncho but on the other hand, so is anything else.

6. Quit this: Board shorts
Board shorts are appropriate on only one occasion, and that is on a surf board. Any other time is just an insult to surfers everywhere.

Hit this: Suit shorts
Tom Ford doesn’t think men should wear shorts at all, but Thom Browne doesn’t expect you to play hacky sack in a full-on pant during those hot summer months.

7. Quit this: Hawaiian shirts
Hawaiian shirts are appropriate on only one occasion, and that is on Charlie Sheen. Any other time is just an insult to Charlie Sheen…which is kind of all right.

Hit this: Paisley shirts
Odds are you won’t need much to cheer you up this 420, but paisley, like this Michael Kors top, can add a dash of curlicued sunshine to anyone’s day.

8. Quit this: Baggy jeans
“So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair – ew – and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.” – Cher Horowitz

Hit this: Harem pants
A harem pant gives you the same freeballin’ feeling of a pair of slouchy Levi’s hanging off your upper thighs and — bonus points — the drop-crotch acts as a great weed table if nothing else is around.

9. Quit this: American Eagle
For most of us, middle school is over and so is the Eagle.

Hit this: American Apparel
Going from the Eagle to the Apparel, though, is not so much a show of growth so much as a show of wanting to get laid. But even stoners need to slut it up sometimes.

10. Quit this: Beanies
A beanie is like the stoner equivalent of the little black dress. And though I would deign to ask any pothead worth his or her reefer to abandon their LBD…

Hit this: Newsboys
A newsboy cap adds a certain air of jauntiness and charm. I mean, who would you rather get high with, beanie boy or Brad Pitt? Though the beanie guy looks baked as all get out.

Happy Toking and remember to dress is human, to smoke divine.

Sally Singer‘s T Magazine declares that this “multistrapped mid-’80s fashion disaster beloved by Deadheads in dreads, is having a moment.” There are at least 5 things wrong with that sentence so would it be possible to end this moment before it even starts?

Apparently Lanvin (left Alber, what were you thinking?), Bottega Veneta (center) and Richard Chai (right) all showed them on their spring runways. So with the coming warm weather also comes the threat of seeing people’s gross feet on the subway…

The New York City subway…

In flip-flops…

Why not just walk barefoot through a pile of hypodermic needles? It’s the same experience. So, gentlemen, before subjecting your feet and the world to Teva torture, perhaps consider a slip-on? An espadrille? A casual man-heel?

Photos: GQ

Loved this piece by New York Magazine blogger Amy Odell. She took the seasons “hottest” mandals to the street and asked folks if they’d wear them. Philip Lims monstrosities for Birkenstock were the most critically panned, D&G’s $500 white, shiny slip ons we’re also hated. The winning sandals we’re by Prada and Burberry. My personal fave is Amy Odell, was totally picturing someone else when ever I read her articles. Thank god for video.