The Sidecar Ditch your preferred mode of conveyance and hop in a Sidecar then floor it to DrunkTown, USA. Population: everyone cool. 1 lemon superfine sugar 3 oz. cognac 1 oz. Cointreau or triple sec 2 lemon slices

Tom Collins I hear Tom Collins is related to Joan Collins, who, if she were a drink, would probably bitch slap you into a pool by the end of the night. 2 oz. gin 1 oz. lemon juice 1 tsp superfine sugar 3 oz. club soda 1 Maraschino cherry 1 slice orange

Old Fashioned As an old-fashioned kind of girl, I like an old-fashioned kind of drink. And when I’m drinking my old-fashioned drink, I like to wax nostalgic of my days as a jazz baby and Ziegfield girl. Come on everybody, let’s Charleston like it’s 1929! 2 orange slices 2 maraschino cherries (stems removed) 2 dashes Angostura bitters 1/2 tsp. superfine sugar 2 1/2 oz. bourbon

Martini The ultimate in sophistication, martinis evoke the spirit of Manhattan society when ladies wore mink stoles and men wore tails…and also when blacks and Jews weren’t allowed in nightclubs. Hey, I’m not saying it was all shits and giggles. 4 oz. dry gin Dry vermouth Large pitted green olives

Henry C. Ramos Gin Fizz I don’t know or care who this Henry C. Ramos is, but apparently the longer you shake his cocktail, the "frothier it gets.” Mr. Ramos can slide down my throat any day. 2 tsp. fresh lime juice 1 tsp. fresh lemon juice 1 tbsp. superfine sugar 1 1/2 oz. gin 1 oz. heavy cream 1/4 tsp. orange flower water 1 egg white 1 oz. cold seltzer

Whiskey Sour Now this is a gentleman’s drink. The kind of gentleman who may sleep with whores, but treats them like ladies. 2 oz. whiskey 2 tbsp. fresh lemon juice 2–3 tsp. sugar 3–4 ice cubes Orange slice Maraschino cherry

Fur Collar I think all drinks should be named after fabulous pieces of fashion. Maybe next year I’ll work on creating my own sartorial potables: the Sequined Pantsuit; the Tranny Heel; the The Drop-Crotch…which can have several connotations. 1 oz. vodka 1 oz. apricot brandy or liqueur, preferably Rothman & Winter Orchard apricot liqueur 1 oz. freshly squeezed orange juice

Manhattan Noonday Who doesn’t love a nooner? Put those skyrockets in flight and partake in this afternoon delight. 1 1/2 oz. bourbon 1 oz. sweet (Italian) vermouth 1 dash Angostura bitters 1 dash simple syrup 1 maraschino cherry

Kentucky Club Margarita This ain’t your $3 frozen margarita from Benny’s Burritos. Which saddens me a little since I love getting those free bowls of chips and salsa. 1 lime wedge Kosher salt, to taste 1 1?2 oz. silver tequila 3?4 oz. freshly squeezed lime juice 1/2 oz. Cointreau

Dirty Shirley The Shirley Temple is a classic virgin cocktail, but all virgins need to break that maraschino cherry eventually. Add a bit of vodka and Shirley Temple suddenly turns into Shirley MacLaine, circa her Rat Pack heyday when she was knockin’ ‘em back and kickin' it up with Frank, Dino and Sammy. 1 oz vodka 5 – 6 oz Sprite soda 1 dash grenadine syrup

FACT: A Fembot can catch a cab 5x faster than female humans. 7.5x faster than the average male.

FACT: All Radioshack technology is archaic in the eyes of a Fembot.

FACT: In the year 2033, all phones are holographic. Fembot believes this Android to be nonfunctioning. Only the iPhone 4s is even heard of in 2033; they are donated to battered women.

FACT: In 2033, all water is Vitamin Water. Thus, Fembot seeks to bring one back as a mixer.

FACT: The #1 rated vodka of 2033 is Svedka. And back at the Mothership, Fembot and Manbot toast to the success of their time machine and takeover.

What: Boardwalk Empire, Season 2

When: September 25th, 9 p.m.

Where: HBO

Trends to look for: Fur, beaded flapper dresses, red lips, Marcel waves, three-piece suits, cigarette holders, long pearls, cloche hats, fascinators and watch fobs

ARCHER: Archer, a new half-hour animated comedy series airing on FX. L-R: Malory Archer and Sterling Archer. CR: FX

Leave the beer at home, kids. This is grown-folk drinking:

1. The Sidecar – Ditch your preferred mode of conveyance and hop in a Sidecar then floor it to DrunkTown, USA;  population: everyone cool.

2. Tom Collins - I hear Tom Collins is related to Joan Collins, who, if she were a drink, would probably bitch slap you into a pool by the end of the night.

3. Old Fashioned – As an old-fashioned kind of girl, I like an old-fashioned kind of drink. And when I’m drinking my old-fashioned drink, I like to wax nostalgic of my days as a jazz baby and Ziegfield girl. Come on everybody, let’s Charleston like it’s 1929!

4. Martini – The ultimate in sophistication, martinis evoke the spirit of Manhattan society when ladies wore mink stoles and men wore tails…and also when blacks and Jews weren’t allowed in nightclubs. Hey, I’m not saying it was all shits and giggles.

5. Henry C. Ramos’s Gin Fizz - I don’t know or care who this Henry C. Ramos is, but apparently the “longer you shake [his] cocktail, the frothier it gets.”

That’s what she said.

6. Whiskey Sour - Now this is a gentleman’s drink. The kind of gentleman who may sleep with whores, but treats them like ladies.

2 oz. whiskey
2 tbsp. fresh lemon juice
2–3 tsp. sugar
3–4 ice cubes
Orange slice
Maraschino cherry

7. Fur Collar – I think all drinks should be named after fabulous fashion pieces. Maybe next year I’ll work on creating my own sartorial potables: the Sequined Pantsuit; the Tranny Heel; the The Drop-Crotch…which can have several connotations.

1 oz. vodka
1 oz. apricot brandy or liqueur, preferably
Rothman & Winter Orchard apricot liqueur
1 oz. freshly squeezed orange juice

8. Manhattan Noonday - Who doesn’t love a nooner?

1 1/2 oz. bourbon
1 oz. sweet (Italian) vermouth
1 dash Angostura bitters
1 dash simple syrup
1 maraschino cherry

9. Kentucky Club Margarita – This ain’t your $3 frozen margarita from Benny’s Burritos. Which saddens me a little since I love getting those free bowls of chips and salsa.

1 lime wedge
Kosher salt, to taste
1 1?2 oz. silver tequila
3?4 oz. freshly squeezed
lime juice
1?2 oz. Cointreau

10. Dirty Shirley - The Shirley Temple is a classic virgin cocktail, but all virgins need to bust that maraschino cherry eventually. Add a bit of vodka and Shirley Temple suddenly turns into Shirley MacLaine, circa her Rat Pack heyday when she was knockin’ ‘em back with Frank, Dino and Sammy.

LINK LOVE: Saveur

1950: A scene from the film 'All About Eve', starring Gregory Ratoff (1897 - 1960), Gary Merrill (1914 - 1990) and Bette Davis (1908 - 1989). The film was directed by Joseph L Mankiewicz for 20th Century Fox.

For the friend who has everything: William Rast for Target® Military Jacket in Green – $49.99

For the athletic brother: i360 Hat Beanie 4Gen Hat – $29.99

For the new niece or nephew: Baby Aspen”Dilly the Duck” Four-Piece Bath Time Gift Set – $32.00

For the college sister: Xhila Kashana Lace-up Boot – $26.99

For the glamazon: JK Jemma Kidd Strike A Pose Swivel Palette – $32.00

For the outdoorsy-chic decorator: Country Wood 5 T-Lite Holder – $39.99

For the heavy drinker: Stainless Steel Martini Glasses Set of 4 – $34.99

For the chef: Tiered Pedestal Serving Plates, Set of 3 – $24.99

LINK LOVE: Target.com

Jude Law is the current face of the Martini campaign.

Find more photos like this on CULT

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