All Entries Tagged With: "merlin bronques"

Stuff Fashion Peeps Like: It Girls

So Nylon recently came out with a list of things to do if you want to be an “It Girl” for their October issue dedicated to the subject. Among the options, dating a rocker, being under 20 years old, and being the spawn of a celebrity made the list according to Jezebel. We’ve got our own thoughts on what it takes to be an “It Girl” but we must warn all that accomplishing all these might just get you an STD and a trip to rehab.

1. Crave a Shit Load of Attention. It’s the attention your parents never gave you cause they were too busy sniffing coke off of Fareah Fawcett’s ass during your quarterly P.T.A meetings. It’s the attention you crave when you hit the strip without a pair of coochy covers on. It’s the attention that makes you look sad enough to give up a “make me feel good” fuck to the first guy who looks your way. Believe me, guys are looking.

2. Suck Cock. Actually Suck a Shit Load of Cock. Like “Porn Star Trying To Break A Guinness World Record” Level Cock Sucking. Former geeky high school boys will pay attention to you if you do. The same boys who have no social life and a shit load of time to snap photos of people (rather than actually party with them) at clubs. The same boys who know HTML and aren’t afraid to blog it. The same boys who will upload your photos making you an “It Girl”. Doing so will guarantee Cory Kennedy fame within two face blasts. Be sure to avert your eyes.

3. Drink. A Lot. Drunk chicks dance, are loud as fuck, and get noticed at clubs. You should reek of alcohol every morning and wake up with random sploodge in your hair from all the photographers you blew the night before. (See tip number 2)

4. While You’re Drinking Snort Some Coke. Or Ecstasy. Or Heroin. Or Pixie Sticks. Seriously, drugs make you really, really, really cool. If you’ve been to rehab and you aren’t even old enough to vote you’re on the right track.

5. Look Like Jailbait. Or Better Yet, Be Jailbait. Underage girls get paparazzi and hipster photographers hotter than a 70% off sale at Urban Outfitters. Wax off all signs of pubescent hair and be sure to be slutty enough to get their attention but not slutty enough to seem like you know what your doing. A woman who’s actually capable of seducing someone freaks hipster photographers out and they’ll just blow their load before they snap your photo.

6. Stalk Dov Charney, Merlin Bronques, Cobrasnake or any other hipster with a camera then repeat steps 1 -5.

7. Shop, Work, and/or Pick Up Your Drug Supply from American Apparel. Seriously.

8. You + A Celebrity’s Dong + Video Camera with Night Vision = Instant “It Girl” Status.

9. Don’t Weigh More Than The Thinner Olsen. Better yet, acquire an eating disorder like bulemia, anorexia, or that weird one from Sex and the City where the guy chews food but doesn’t actually swallow it. It Girls must be a size two or zero in order to get noticed and slip in and out of prison bars when their arrested for drunk driving/drug possession/smuggling Canadians across the US border.

10. Be White. Seriously.

11. Attempt To Be Something More Than An Over-Glorified Attention Whore. Consider modeling, becoming a DJ, or creating a t-shirt line. All require absolutely no skill whatsoever and will guarantee you get even more attention.

12. Skip The Higher Education Route. It Girls don’t need to be smart. They just need to be dumb enough to follow all these rules to a tee. Skip the community college application (did you really think NYU is an option when the web is littered with your half-coked out party images?) and just enroll in the school of hard cocks knocks.

13. Realize That There Is Only ONE Media Outlet That Gives A Fuck About You. Seriously, if it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t exist so be sure to bend over backwards to appear on their Internet TV shows, support their yard sales, and pick up their dry cleaning while your at it.

14. Date Pete Doherty. Works everytime.

15. If All Else Fails There’s Always Lesbianism. It worked for Lindsay and it can work for you.

P.S. Before you all start claiming that I’m a woman hating, misogynistic, asshole let me state first and foremost that I am. If women want to accept a title that praises them for doing nothing more than dressing cute and getting photographed than they deserve to be shit on. If you truly believe in women’s empowerment then don’t support publications that insist on placing coked out, drunk whores on their covers, calling them “It Girls” or deeming their turds worthy of your attention. Let’s get real ladies.

On a side, if any of you want to be deemed “It Girls” by Fashion Indie, send us your photos and a small sentence on what the fuck you’ve done lately that makes you interesting. Dressing well helps (we are a fashion blog) but isn’t necessary. We’re looking for accomplishments like “Didn’t Drop Out of College”, “Just Hosted a Massively Cool Event”, or “Just Found a Cure for Male Pattern Pubic Baldness”. Send them to saynt@fashionindie.com and we’ll feauture you on the site.

Images from Gawker, Refinery29, and Nylon.

What do Claire Danes, Ashton Kutcher and Audrey Hepburn Have in Common?

They’ve all stared in some pretty horrendous GAP ads. We’ve collected thirty of our favorite ads and placed them on Don’tAdvertiserHere.com for your viewing pleasure. Whether it’s the limited release Spike Jonze directed ad in which the GAP gets trashed or the somber Mellow Yellow ads or the pre-Pirates Orlando Bloom spot, they’re all on. While watching you’ll quickly realized why you hated the GAP and come to terms with American Apparel’s rise to pornographic fame.

Here’s are four of our least favorites…

Ashton, Zooey, Jay and Scarlett love bike riding for the GAP.

A never aired ad featuring a dancing Laura Prepon

Carrie Bradshaw and Merlin Bronques for the GAP?

QUITE POSSIBLY THE WORST AD EVER!!!! I hate vests because of this…

Merlin Bronques Raps!!!

So weird in a wonderful sort of way. Merlin Bronques from Last Nights Party fame raps!!!

The hipsters are getting restless.

Fashion Indie Hangs With Ben Sherman at Last Night’s Party

A very mod thought meets “real” models and a 50- year old brand all wrapped up in red, white and blue! What better way to launch a collection than with Ben Sherman’s nightlife photographer-blogger extraordinaire, Merlin Bronques from Lastnightsparty.com and a collection of his edgy, provocatively raw photos.

During the late 60s, Geoffery Mead of the Brighton Mod thought that Ben Sherman and anything having to do with the brand was, to say the least, the first British definition of ‘cool’. On Saturday night, all wrapped up in Soho, was a party of 300 people, dancing to 80s punk at Sherman’s store on Spring. A collaboration of the famous Sherman logo, American Apparel type photos and short films were all screaming the plectrum of the city’s preppy and mod come together in matrimony.

Agnes Deyn at Ben Sherman

Someone is in the right place when Agnes Deyn walks through the door and stays the whole night dancing and blending nearly without notice.  While standing in line for the one and only bathroom I caught up on some reading, getting tips from Sherman’s book on how to perfect your grass lawn tennis game.  There was also the joy of talking to an independent designer or two who seemed to flood this spot to connect to it’s “x” factor.

One could come to appreciate that this brand has taken a long drive throughout generations and has reckoned with every kid who had a pick in hand and the Sherman logo posted across their chest. It was no wonder that the beautiful people who showed up for this party could understand the young kid dressed as a police officer with a sex pistols vibe taking photographs of the crowds spontaneity and the indie films of Merlin Bronques projected on the walls of the stores fine construction!

React to the images, enjoy dancing with kids from brooklyn and have your picture taken by the occasional paparazzi. This was the party.

-Nichole Werhner