And zip up your platform wedges and boogie on over to vice.com to see the first episode.

The Hamptons is going to be swarming with the rich and fabulous. It is important that you always look posh and put together even if you’re getting plastered in the middle of the day. I recommend this Ben Minkoff weekender. It’s simple, durable, and can hold a champagne bottle or two. (And yes I know from experience.) One of your essentials should include a Ralph Lauren polo. (The staple of the prep wardrobe) An Orlebar Brown bathing suit is the way to go shorts wise. (Even if you’re not swimming you can wear these as shorts all day and look stylish.) Finally you’ll need a pair of  Sperry boat shoes. (Duh!) Don’t forget to bring a blazer just in case and daddy’s credit card.

The Jersey Shore is always a hot spot during the summer months and Memorial Day weekend is probably one of the craziest times it gets. As a Jersey native I have to say that  people were going to down the shore (As we Jerseyans put it) before Snooki and The Situation took over with a camera crew. That being said a Quiksilver duffle is what you want to pack. It can take a beating and be fulled to over capacity with all your weekend needs. While you’re at the beach or walking on the boardwalk these American Eagle shorts have both fashion and function without calling negative attention to whoever is wearing them. Speaking of the boardwalk you can stroll comfortably down it in these Ugg sandals. Lastly you’ll need something nice to impress at the club and an Armani Exchange dress shirt will do the trick. Just make sure you’re tan and party ready.

Fire Island is a major gay destination on the East Coast if you didn’t know. The island is known for it’s nonstop parties and debauchery. If you go this Rag & Bone bag says “I’m here, I’m queer, & I have taste: Get Used To It!”  I recommend packing light since it seems that many of the people running around are not in that much clothes. That’s why this Baskit trunk is totally appropriate. There are a lot of outdoor activities so go for a pack of American Apparel tanks so you have something light and simple that can transition from day to night. Finally I recommend these GAP flip flops:they’re inexpensive, versatile and perfect for a beach day. Remember to leave your heavy layers and inhibitions behind.

Last night Daniel Saynt & Becks headed to the David Barton Gym Toy Drive hosted by David Barton, Susanne Bartsch, Marc Jacobs, and Narciso Rodriquez. We drank, we partied, we found every eligible gay in New York.

The highlights of our night were all on our Twitter feed so if you’re a subscriber you’re in luck.

Here’s the rundown:

- We arrive fashionably late, realize we totally missed Marc and Lorenzo, consider leaving for two seconds

- Patrick McDonald (New York Dandy and Launch My Line star) doesn’t bring a gift and almost gets refused at the door. He makes up for it by breaking out his wallet.

- We make our way upstairs through a gym that can only be described as the place where clubbers go to bench press. Becks spots someone who looks like Eric Bana from behind. Turns out to be Larry King from the front.

- We whiz by some performers on the way to the bar (where the fuck is the bar), an oldie dressed like a Lady Gaga reject, a women/snow bird, a nutcracker on stilts and a Christmas tree man. Trannies, fake tits and manicured eyebrows galore.  Guess it’s officially Gaymas.

- Pass the giant discoball/DJ booth on the way to the bar. Michael Musto wears a hideous Holiday sweater. Way better than the last time I saw him.

- Finally make it to the bar. Double up on VodkaCrans. Spot a man who’s vaguely familiar eying me by the bar. Give my “I’m not gay, but I’m comfortable enough to acknowledge your interest” smile. Can’t figure out who this little man is or why he’s so familar? He takes off.

- iPhone Google Search. It was Narciso Rodriquez.

- Now on the search for Narciso after a Wikipedia fact update; He’s Cuban, from Jersey, and I’m currently wearing his cologne. Plan to ask him if he’s seen Jersey Shore, what his fondest memory of summer on the beach was, and whose his favorite dictator. jk.

- Spot Narciso talking to a troublesome troupe of twinks who obviously know who he is. Realize my hands smell like Chipotle (pre-Barton Dinner) and decide a bathroom pitstop might be smarter.

- Standing in line with Becks for the bathroom, up ahead of us is a black gay Ken Doll with fake grey hair and a permanent smile. I take photo.

- Still in line. See Narciso exit. Maybe next time little man.

- A gay reminiscent of Don Johnson begins conversation. Asks if I’m with anyone. I point to the wife.

- The three of us begin long winded conversation on being young and married in New York City. He stresses its impossibility to last. We respectfully disagree. Late vow to never talk to people who look like Don Johnson.

- Finally make it into bathroom. Don’t see the point to clean my hands anymore, but do so anyway. jk.

- Go to check out some performances. A woman strips. The crowd goes wild.

- I spot Amanda Lepore. She’s pretty much naked. Nothing says Christmas better than full frontal.

- Becks spots an old gay friend from Cleveland. You have no idea how many times this happens. It’s like they make them their and ship them over.

-David Barton hits the stage. The look and feel of the gym instantly makes perfect sense.

- Richie Rich is here. No one seems to care. So sad to be a flickering light. Stay forever young little buddy.

- The party begins to clear even though the booze is still flowing. Is it the gym atmosphere that prevents the boys from filling up on empty alcohol calories?

- We make our way out, Becks teases about posting a Missed Encounters on Craigslist for Narciso.

- The night ends, but not before seeing a pair of Nina Ricci claw shoes in action. Amazingly cool.

More details about the event from our publicist friend at DavidBarton below:

Founder of DavidBartonGym, David Barton and his wife, nightlife impresario Susanne Bartsch, iconic fashion designers Marc Jacobs and
Narciso Rodriguez, Hotelier Ian Schrager and his wife Tania Schrager, celebrity chef Art Smith and renowned photographer Patrick McMullan co-hosted the 8th annual and largest Toy Drive to date at DavidBartonGym Astor Place. Guests brought new, unwrapped toys, all of
which will be donated today to the Metropolitan Hospital, St. Vincent’s Hospital, St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital, Sunny Downstate, Kings County Hospital, Beth Israel Hospital, the Lower East Side Girls Club, Northeast Community Center and Astor Kids, among others.

www.davidbartongym.com

Honestly folks, don’t click unless you a) really love being scared for life, b) really love cock, or c) really love Bruno.

So Michael Musto, the nightlife and obviously very, very gay nightlife writer for The Village Voice, decided to share some pictures of his recent trip to Fire Island. They we’re disturbing to say the least. So apparently now, the thing to do if you’re gay and endowed with something more than a cocktail frank is to shove your ball sack and shaft into these fairly unattractive nut sacks to attract the opposite sex. Disturbing, but considering girls have been shoving their breastesses into wonderbras and padded undies for years, I guess this is just the next evolution. Bruno would be proud.

There are more photos on the Village Voice. Click at your own risk.

LINK LOVE: http://blogs.villagevoice.com/dailymusto/archives/2009/08/swimwear_for_th.php

Here at Fashion Indie we can’t get over these genius photos of Village Voice mascot Michael Musto making fun of the Lindsay Lohan‘s homage to Marilyn Monroe.

For someone who just wants to be taken seriously for their acting, she’s doing everything in her power to seem like a narcissistic-vapid-jackass. And as we know that’s what Rumer Willis is for.

Want people to take you seriously? Stop doing things like this, that make it so easy for people lampoon you. Less time on E! News and more time on Charlie Rose!