A few weeks ago I reported in Desperation 101 that Lauren Conrad would be on a national tour to market her clothing line. As expected, it was the the sorority girls flaunting their Ugg boots, North Face jackets, straightened blonde hair, black leggings, Juicy Couture sweatsuits and gem encrusted Bebe tees that ransacked the audience. Apparently the campaign went over well, but it went over well with a crowd that doesn’t know fashion from the other 20 girls sporting their beer stained Sigma Gamma Lambda Kappa Delta Pi Epsilon sweatshirts with dried vomit in their hair.  

Some girl from Northeastern University said ”Wearing her clothing line tonight was really an honor.” Well, apparently this girl was flattered that she was one of the many cotton dress wearing, cheap black belted, frontal hair poofed models. Good job Conrad, you gave daddy’s little girl 5 minutes of fame other than when she gets voted make-out slut at Saturday night frat parties. 

Another spectator at the show said ”A cotton dress for $200 is overpriced, just because of the name that’s on it? Come on. But, I mean, I would totally buy it, just because it’s a Lauren Conrad dress, I totally would.” Excellent, another label whore. Totally kill yourself. Totally. 

Thanks NY Mag!

Unless you are climbing Mount Everest or moving to Alaska there is absolutely no need to own this amazing display of ugliness. North Face has become huge in the last couple years, and for what reason? They are simple black fleece jackets that scream “Look at me I am a conformist DOUCHE BAG!” There are very few stupid fads that I hate more than this one. If you are currently reading this thinking to yourself, “Well I wear mine because it keeps me warm when it’s cold out” go stick your hand in your sink’s garbage disposal and turn it on because your stupid. Cold weather and the desperation to stay warm should be/is every fashion lovers dream. Cold weather means layers, accessories and most importantly, MORE CLOTHES! Wear a cool scarf, hat, gloves, sweater jacket instead of one stupid North Face, and if you chose to go with the North Face, don’t be surprised when I kick you from behind into oncoming traffic. For all you North Face wearing losers, move back Long Island (sorry Marissa), Vermont, Middle America, or where ever your bad fashion sense came from.

Images courtesy of Flickr.com