How To Look Hipster

Kirby Marzec — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 20:58:01 +0000

Living in the Greenwich Village/ SoHo area never ceases to amaze me. Amazing speciality boutiques line the cobblestone streets. Eclectic art galleries display their masterpieces through open windows. The aroma of diverse coffee beans engulf the air around you. Out of everything the area has to offer, I am particularly intrigued by the people. But let it be known, just because you are in an edgy part of the city doesn’t mean you can escape the increasingly mainstream “hipster” trend. Hipsters are everywhere, the contemporary subculture who takes it upon themselves to deem what is “cool” in fashion and free time. Well, I hate to break it to them, but hipsters wouldn’t know “cool” if it bit them on the ass. Here are the elements of a hipster…in moderation, pretty neat…together, hipster scum:

White Converse Sneakers: You cannot possibly call yourself a hipster without owning a pair of these. Worn in, loved Converse are preferred.

Levi's 511 Skinny Jeans: Giving young men the legs of a 10 year old, one pant-leg at a time!

Solid V-Neck T's: Preferably in odd colors like lilac purple or vomit green. Layer them, the more v-necks, the more hipster you are!

American Apparel Hoodies: Own one in every color so you can match your v-necks! Want to look mysterious and contemplative? Easy! Put the hood up!

Member's Only Jackets: For the cold days, you need a solid color, lack luster jacket to match your actual, un-hipster tainted personality.

Calculator Watch: They look like they are straight out of the 80's...and they make you look smart!

Nerd Glasses: Wear them 24/7...even if you have 20/20 vision! It is imperative that they are bigger than your face.

Organic Food: Show the world that you are zen with your body. Eat all-natural, organic product! Better yet, go vegeterian...or vegan if you dare!

Drink Olde English: 40oz beers are all the go...throw the nifty glass bottle in a paper bag and nobody has to know you're drinking your little hipster problems away!

Here’s a few more tips if you’re headed down a path of hipster hell. Carry around a small notebook. That way, people will know you are a thoughtful soul with a knack for English prose. Attend art museums. Stare at paintings with your jaw gaping wide open, even if you don’t understand the artist’s aesthetic. Remember, being hipster is all about image. If you look hipster cool, then you are hipster cool. So wear your skinny jeans. Hide the bags under your eyes with enormous dorky glasses. Pretend you are infatuated with art and the visual beauties this world has to offer. Hipsters are actors…and they’re pretty damn bad at it.

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How To Look Hipster