- Rooney Mara, Givenchy’s spring 2012 Haute Couture collection and the Oscars are a match made in heaven. At least that’s the general consensus. [Fashionista, NYT, The Cut]

- Speaking of award-worthy dressing, Leesa Evans, costume designer for Bridesmaids, took inspiration for the characters’ wardrobes from everyone from Forever 21 to Alexander McQueen. [NYT]

- Demi Moore was hospitalized Monday night, allegedly following an epileptic seizure. Moore is — also allegedly — seeking treatment for anorexia and substance abuse. [Huff Po]

- The most expensive T-shirt in the world may be made out of 16 diamonds and cost $400,000, but it still looks like something the Ed Hardy factory threw up in or around New Jersey. [Styleite]

- Jean Paul Gaultier sent models with Amy Winehouse-esque beehives down his spring 2012 haute couture runway. [Style.com]

I always love when a comedic performance gets some recognition and while the film was excluded from the list of NINE Best Picture nominees, Kristen Wiig scored a nod for her brilliant screenplay with Annie Mumolo. Meanwhile, if that trash Diablo Cody can win for Juno, Wiig might want to ready her acceptance speech.

Hugo leads the pack with 11 nominations, including Best Director for Martin Scorsese – his seventh career Best Director nom and ninth overall — and Best Picture. It will compete against The Artist – a close second with 10 nominations — and out of seemingly nowhere, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, which has garnered mixed reviews and has been pretty much absent during awards season. But, c’mon, it’s a 9/11 movie, who’s really surprised?

Other Best Picture contenders include Steven Spielberg’s critically-mixed War Horse, Terrence Malick‘s The Tree of Life — which won the Palme d’Or at Cannes a while back –, The Help, Moneyball, The Descendants and Woody Allen‘s Midnight in Paris.

Allen, it should be noted, snatched his 22nd and 23rd Oscar nods. Take notes, kids.

Also racking up an ungodly amount of Oscar gold this year is (unsurprisingly) Meryl Streep, who scored her 17th Academy Award nomination for her role in The Iron Lady. She will face off against Michelle Williams, Viola Davis, frequent nemesis Glenn Close and surprise nominee Rooney Mara for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Tilda Swinton was once again robbed of a nomination — this time for We Need to Talk About Kevin.

The Best Actor category has BFFs George Clooney and Brad Pitt going head-to-head, while relative unknown Demián Bichir snuck in for the little-seen indie film, A Better Life. The Artist‘s Jean Dujardin, fresh off his Golden Globe win, is also nominated and after decades of generally shutting shit down, Gary Oldman scored his first Oscar nomination for the British film, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

Check out the full list of nominees below:

BEST PICTURE
The Artist
The Descendants
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
The Tree of Life
War Horse

LEAD ACTOR
Demián Bichir – A Better Life
George Clooney – The Descendants
Jean Dujardin – The Artist
Gary Oldman – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt – Moneyball

LEAD ACTRESS
Glenn Close – Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis – The Help
Rooney Mara – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep – The Iron Lady
Michelle Williams – My Week With Marilyn

BEST DIRECTOR
Michel Hazanavicius – The Artist
Alexander Payne – The Descendants
Martin Scorsese – Hugo
Woody Allen – Midnight in Paris
Terrence Malick – The Tree of Life

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Kenneth Branagh – My Week with Marilyn
Jonah Hill – Moneyball
Nick Nolte – Warrior
Christopher Plummer –  Beginners
Max von Sydow – Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Bérénice Bejo – The Artist
Jessica Chastain – The Help
Melissa McCarthy – Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer – Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer – The Help

WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)
The Descendants – Alexander Payne & Nat Faxon and Jim Rash
Hugo – John Logan
The Ides of March - George Clooney & Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon
Moneyball – Steven Zaillian & Aaron Sorkin and Stan Chervin
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy –  Bridget O’Connor & Peter Straughan

WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)
The Artist – Michel Hazanavicius
Bridesmaids – Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wiig
Margin Call – J.C. Chandor
Midnight in Paris – Woody Allen
A Separation – Asghar Farhadi

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
A Cat in Paris
Chico & Rita
Kung Fu Panda 2
Puss in Boots
Rango

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Bullhead, Belgium
Footnote, Israel
In Darkness, Poland
Monsieur Lazhar, Canada
A Separation, Iran

DOCUMENTARY (FEATURE)
Hell and Back Again
If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front
Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
Pina
Undefeated

DOCUMENTARY (SHORT SUBJECT)
The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement
God Is the Bigger Elvis
Incident in New Baghdad
Saving Face
The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom

SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)
Dimanche/Sunday
The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
La Luna
A Morning Stroll
Wild Life

SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)
Pentecost
Raju
The Shore
Time Freak
Tuba Atlantic

ART DIRECTION
The Artist
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
War Horse

CINEMATOGRAPHY
The Artist
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
The Tree of Life
War Horse

COSTUME DESIGN
Anonymous
The Artist
Hugo
Jane Eyre
W.E.

FILM EDITING
The Artist
The Descendants
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
Moneyball

MAKEUP
Albert Nobbs
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
The Iron Lady

MUSIC (ORIGINAL SCORE)
The Adventures of Tintin
The Artist
Hugo
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
War Horse

MUSIC (ORIGINAL SONG)
“Man or Muppet” from The Muppets
“Real in Rio” from Rio

SOUND EDITING
Drive
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
War Horse

SOUND MIXING
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
Moneyball
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
War Horse

VISUAL EFFECTS
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Hugo
Real Steel
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Link Love: LA Times – The Envelope

Since being introduced by Dustin Hoffman on the set of Kramer vs. Kramer — for which both Hoffman and Streep won their first Oscars – Lacombe and Streep have been good friends. And it is because of this relationship that Meryl feels so comfortable and at ease with Brigitte behind the lens.

“Out of all the actors I know she is the most reluctant to be photographed,” Lacombe tells NOWNESS. “I think because it’s me and she trusts me, she sees the photography now as an extension of our friendship…She’s the only actress I know who really has no genuine interest or pleasure in looking at herself. She’s interested in the work she’s doing, and after that she just wants to live her life, unobserved.”

Check out NOWNESS for more images and the rest of the interview with Brigitte Lacombe.

Streep is pretty much a shoe-in for her 17th Academy Award nomination — and that’s no hyperbole — for The Iron Lady, a biopic on English prime minister, Margaret Thatcher.

In the film, Meryl plays Margaret from age 49 to 85, an experience that certainly took its toll both physically — ”We were on a tiny budget, we had very long days and there was no rest. Standing for 12 hours at a time was very painful and all I wanted was a great masseur” — and emotionally –  ”With something like It’s Complicated, I really left it at the set. But this I carried with me more, because it was more personal,” Streep said referring to her 2009 romantic comedy starring noted frequent flier, Alec Baldwin.

Meanwhile, in her Vogue story, Streep puts aside her Lady pains to loll in a few jokes about age. Now 62, Meryl claims that she’s the “oldest person” to land the mag’s cover and reminisces about being offered three roles as witches after turning 40. Taking it to mean that women her age were “grotesque on some level,” she then turned to her husband and said, “It’s over.” That Streep’s done some of her best work in those resulting 22 years proved that not only was it not over, but really just beginning. [Telegraph]

Oh, and check out the trailer for The Iron Lady, out in in wide release January 5th:

“It is an idea that I had many years ago,” Giammetti told WWD, “after going through a great museum site and being able to navigate through these rooms full of paintings…I asked myself if it would be possible to recreate a vast computer-generated museum. We started designing and nothing really appealed to me. I wanted to have the light of Rome without looking old. I wanted to show not only the dresses but the history behind them, from the drawing to the women who wore them.”

The resulting museum — comprised of 107,500 virtual square feet of exhibition space – will include some 300 dresses, as well as accompanying anecdotes, photos, sketches, ad campaigns and editorials, with over 5,000 images and 95 fashion show videos.

“I see it as part of my legacy,”  said Valentino. Noting the importance of the past, Garavani wanted “to review the fashion that has shaped our lives,” referring to it as “Future Memory.”  Among the memories mined from the vast Valentino archives are the 1961 haute couture dress Elizabeth Taylor wore to the Roman premiere of Spartacus; Jacqueline Kennedy‘s 1968 couture wedding dress for her marriage to Aristotle Onassis; and the 1992 haute couture gown Julia Roberts wore to collect her Oscar in 2001.

Garavani and Giammetti will be in New York to announce the launch of the Valentino Garavani Virtual Museum — rather appropriately — via a press conference live-streamed on YouTube. Until then, there’s this awesome preview video. [WWD]

On New York:

“I love London and Paris; they’re very sophisticated, but not like New York. If you can’t find it in New York, it doesn’t exist.”

On New York in the 50s:

“It was fabulous then, everyone looked beautiful.”

On New York today:

“Now when I walk down Fifth Avenue in the summertime I just want to throw up. It seems that the fatter and uglier people are, the fewer clothes they wear. The shorts and flip-flops and tight jeans on butts that go from here to Poughkeepsie. I always say they should put people in jail for wearing clothes like that. Especially stretch jeans over size 10 — they should be outlawed. Ten years ago people were starting to look like slobs in New York, now it’s an epidemic.”

On London style:

“I haven’t been in London for some years but the last time I was there they looked fuddy-duddy and school-marmish, yes, but not slobby. And then there are the wonderful eccentrics like the kids on Carnaby Street or the punks or whatever the heck they are.”

On meeting Duke Ellington:

“The Duke couldn’t have been nicer and said he’d introduce me to all the greats in Chicago. My mother was very dubious, so I told her, ‘He’s the most elegant gentleman.’ She said, ‘I don’t give a damn how elegant he is, you’re not going to Chicago.’ But I did.”

On dieting:

“I used to smoke like a fiend. I smoked four packs a day. I never do anything half-arsed, shall we say, but I stopped because I felt I was getting to be an addict. I’ve got very good willpower.”

On being asked to be Lindsay’s style guru:

“I can’t tell people how to have style. No amount of money can buy you style. It’s just instinctive.”

On her 2005 exhibit at The Met:

‘It didn’t start out as a fashion show, but he [Harold Koda, curator of the Costume Institute] decided that to show accessories out of context didn’t make much sense so he asked if I could spare maybe five outfits… I said yes, so they went through all my closets, all the drawers, all the boxes, all the armoires, under the bed, everywhere and they go woowoowoooo [she flaps her arms up and down]. Finally they ended up with 82 outfits. It was insanity but the show was such a big smash.”

On her signature glasses:

“When I needed to wear glasses, I decided I’d wear glasses. All the better to see you with.’”

On kids these days:

“Most of the young people today look dreadful.”

On stars these days:

“And celebrities look even worse. They don’t know what to do with themselves. At the Golden Globes and Oscars they all look alike – it seems like they’re all wearing the same nightgown and this year nobody had any jewellery at all. Only Helen Mirren was wearing a beautiful necklace, but even she got it wrong because the necklace just ruined the dress. I think the designer must have wanted to kill himself when he saw her.”

On throwing shade:

“It’s a free country — if you want to look like a freak, that’s your problem.”

Annie Leibovitz – fresh off a tour in KardashianLand — shot the cover in anticipation of Michelle’s movie, My Week with Marilyn, coming to theaters November 4th. The movie documents the tense relationship between Monroe and co-star Sir Laurence Olivier during the filming of The Prince and the Showgirl. Those two kids did not get along at all, mostly due to Monroe’s boozing, pill-popping and constant lateness, so clearly Anna Wintour heard Oscar’s bells ringing for Michelle this third time around. [Design Scene]

“It was incredibly glamorous and fantastic. I don’t think I’ll experience something like that again in my lifetime,” said the Oscar-winner of filming the commercial, which debuted Sunday night at www.dior.com.

Adding to the surreal glamour are digital recreations of the late Grace Kelly, Marlene Dietrich and Marilyn Monroe. The three movie legends just happen to be hanging out backstage of the Dior show when Theron storms in, every inch the movie star — giant sunglasses and all — throwing her purse at the first person, place or thing she sees. Then she’s stripped, be-gowned and thrown down the runway to Gossip‘s “Heavy Cross.”

In other words, it’s pretty fucking epic. Click through to the next page to take a look at the mini movie and let us know what you think! [WWD, Telegraph]

Start spreading the news as Terry gives Liza a leg up.

VOGUE Fashion Night 2011 dans le monde (version… by VOGUEPARIS

Sadove joins a long and prestigious list of Superstar honorees including Karl Lagerfeld, Tom Ford, Giorgio Armani, Donna Karan and Valentino Garavani.

FGI will also honor some Stars who aren’t quite as Super such as Raf Simons, recent haute couture hero Giambattista Valli and Kate and Laura Mulleavy of Rodarte in the fashion category and Jules Moore will get her dues in the entertainment category. Guinness, meanwhile, will receive the Fashion Provocateur award.

Loveable mo Simon Doonan will host the event at Cipriani on Wall Street and Ruben Toledo will handle the award artwork. [WWD]

Between May 1, 2010 and May 1, 2011, these were the lauded ladies who laughed all the way to the bank. [Forbes]

1. Angie Joles, $30 million. Drink it in, Jolie, and then eat a sandwich, you’re scaring the kids.

The sometime actress and aspiring singer poses in nothing but Louis Vuitton jewelry and a pair of fishnets — also known as my around the house look — for Vanity Fair‘s jewelry supplement.

I wouldn’t have minded a couture gown. [Daily Mail]

- Kate‘s epic wedding guest list also includes Daphne Guinness, Vivienne Westwood, Jude Law, Jade Jagger and reportedly, John Galliano. [Styleite]

- Blogger Rachel Kane of  WTForever21 might have to change the name of her blog to WTorever21 because she clearly doesn’t give an F. [Fashionista]

- Oscar nominee Hailee Steinfeld is precociously stunning in Miu Miu‘s new Fall 2011 campaign, shot by Bruce Weber. [Fashion Gone Rogue]

- Meanwhile, Raquel Zimmermann is sleekness defined for YSL by Inez and Vinoodh. [Models.com]

- The Huffington Post assembled 21 of Spring 2012 Men’s Fashion Week‘s “zaniest” looks. Some are actually zany, some are pretty fierce and some just need to stop pretending. [HuffPo]

- Jennifer Lopez will be on HSN this weekend, and while her team of handlers explain what an HSN is, J.Lo found her light and showed some gam for new fragrance Love & Light‘s ad campaign. [People]

Photo: Daily Mail

Madonna co-wrote the romantic drama with her Truth or Dare collaborator Alek Keshishian, which stars Abbie Cornish as a woman who becomes enraptured with the early 20th century romance between Britain’s King Edward VIII and American divorcee Wallis Simpson.

Sure, it sounds like a snoozefest, but if Harvey Weinstein likes it — and he does, saying that Madge “has really come into her own as a filmmaker” and that W.E. is ”smart, sexy and thoroughly modern” – the Academy might as well throw an Oscar in Madonna’s freakishly ageless face.

Five words: The King’s Speech , Part II. [L.A. Times]

The never-ending vampire chick flick series also took home Best Movie, Best Female Performance for Kristen Stewart‘s harrowing (?) portrayal of…whoever she plays; Best Male Performance for Robert Pattinson basically showing up on set and taking his shirt off; and Best Fight for the Team Jacob v Team Edward bitch-slapping throwdown outside of the movie’s L.A. premiere.

Other big “winners” of the  night included Emma Stone who won Best Comedic Performance for her tour de force in Easy A and Justin Bieber for Best Jaw-Dropping Moment thanks to a lap dance in his seminal concert film, Never Say Never.

Meanwhile, Ellen Page‘s Oscar nomination for Juno clearly pales in comparison with the honor of the Best Scared as Shit award she took home for Inception. And last but certainly not least, dyed-in-the-wool movie star Reese Witherspoon took home the Generation Award in recognition of her “remarkable career.” Then they showed a bunch of clips from Legally Blonde. [MTV]

The doc follows Ford through his first womenswear show in six years, his guest editorship at Vogue Paris during the last halcyon days of Carine Roitfeld‘s tenure and the opening of his flagship store in Beverly Hills — in other words, you don’t want to miss this shit.

Ford admits that he’s “never let anyone film [him] like this before,” claiming that “[t]here’s a very squiggly line between Tom Ford the man and Tom Ford the brand.” That line was further squigglied with his feature film debut A Single Man, which he refers to as his “midlife crisis on screen.”

If only all mid-life crises resulted in Oscar nominations as opposed to bad hair plugs, expensive sports cars and cheap hookers.

You — and I — can learn more about Tom Ford the man and the brand when Visionaires: Tom Ford debuts on OWN June 24th at 10 p.m. [Racked]

Technical difficulties — including inappropriate music cues, microphones cutting out, an errant and uninterested audience, empty awards envelopes and even a full-on blackout after generators blew — were the biggest problems of the night.

That is, if you discount some of the winners acceptance speeches.

MJB won two awards for her My Life by Mary J. Blige fragrance, including Fragrance Sales Breakthrough of the Year, and naturally thanked god, with whom “we can do anything.” Like schill perfume on HSN. Praise him.

Josh Duhamel apparently lied to wife Fergie — of Black Eyed Peas not royal wedding snub fame — telling her he was going on a golfing trip. But surprise! There he was presenting her with the totally legitimate-sounding New Fragrance Celebrity of the Year award for Outspoken.

Fergie, always the picture of class, began her speech with “You fuckers” then thanked the 6.5 million Avon ladies around the world.  Sounds like someone missed out on a perfectly good 18 holes.

Elizabeth Taylor, whose White Diamonds is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year, was inducted posthumously into the Fragrance Hall of Fame — because that exists — just in time for fellow Oscar winner Halle Berry to pick up the newly named  Elizabeth Taylor Fragrance Celebrity of the Year award.

Halle, an old pro at this speech thing, left the tears and sincerity at home: “Fragrance is a new love for me. I never thought I’d be here four years later. And I’m inspired by Mary J. Blige and Fergie — let’s keep lifting women up.” Lifting women up, turning them upside down and shaking them till their loose change falls out.

All in all, it was a successful night…I mean, we’re actually talking about the FiFi’s. Aim low and never be disappointed, I always say. [WWD]

1. Princess Diana – Diana Spencer

Title: Princess of Wales
Prince Charming: Friend, confidante and designer of choice, Gianni Versace, particularly since Prince Charles proved more frog than prince.

2. Princess Grace – Grace Kelly

Title: Princess of Monaco
Prince Charming: Longtime BFF, Josephine Baker, whom she met in 1951 after standing up for Baker against The Stork Club’s racist practices

3. Princess Jasmine – from Disney‘s Aladdin

Title: Princess of Agrabah
Prince Charming: Street urchin turned Prince Ali, Fabulous He Ali Ababwa

4. Princess Ann – Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday (1953)

Title: N/A
Prince Charming: Co-star Gregory Peck and Hubert de Givenchy whom she wore to accept her Best Actress Oscar for her performance

5. Princess Charlotte – Charlotte Casiraghi

Title: Princess of Monaco (she’s Princess Grace’s granddaughter)
Prince Charming: Gucci’s Frida Giannini who exclusively designs Princess Charlotte’s equestrian wardrobe.

6. Princess Sirivannavari – Sirivannavari Nariratana

Title: Princess of Thailand
Prince Charming: Fashion. She’s designs her own fashion line and is a regular at Jean Paul Gaultier‘s shows.

7. Miss Chi Chi Rodriguez – John Leguizamo in To Wong Foo

Title: Drag Princess, “P to the R to the In to the Cess”
Prince Charming: Julie Newmar, who crowns the princess a queen while wearing a Mugler catsuit.

8. Princess Leila – Leila Pahlavi

Title: Princess of Iran
Prince Charming: Barbiturates. A former Valentino model, Leila had her share of demons including anorexia, depression and drug abuse, which ultimately claimed her life.

9. Mia Thermopolis – Anne Hathaway in The Princess Diaries

Title: Princess of Genovia
Prince Charming: Julie Andrews, whose spoonful of sugar helped make the royal medicine go down as Mia’s grandmother, Queen Clarisse.

10. Princess Catherine – Kate Middleton

Title: The Duchess of Cambridge, Her Royal Highness Princess William of Wales
Prince Charming: Sarah Burton, whose Alexander McQueen wedding gown propelled Kate from lady to Lady.

Winslet explains:

“They want to keep it looking like me and not have it look like me pretending to be a model wearing these clothes. I’m obviously not a model. I’m not the size of a model. I don’t have the face of a model or the shape of a model.”

This is the film queen’s first stint as the face of a fashion house having shilled for American Express and Lancôme in the past. However when the reporter told Kate that the St. John woman was known more for hot flashes than hot pants, she seemed “surprised”:

“To me, it’s fresher than that. It seems fresher than that because of the fabrics. They’re extremely delicate, extremely wearable and very flattering.”

Then she backhanded the reporter and stormed off the set only to realize it was Jersey at which point she began to hysterically cry. Little did she know someone was filming her with their camera phone and her performance is already being considered a huge Oscar frontrunner.[WWD]

- Congressman Aaron Schock, a Republican from Illinois in the House of Representatives, flings his shirt open for the cover of Men’s Health, and suddenly I care about politics. Kind of…not really.  But I could move to Illinois…no, not really. [Men's Health]

- Prince Harry and Oscar-winner Charlize Theron were spotted possibly  canoodling at a charity polo match in merry ole Eng-land this weekend. Aaah, but who was riding whom? [Refinery29]

1. Paris Is Burning (1990)

Set amidst the backdrop of 80s New York ball culture, Paris Is Burning is an exploration of beauty, race, sexuality, capitalism and the American Dream, all wrapped up in a dragtastic homage to the transformative powers of fashion. Also, where do you think Madonna learned to Vogue?

See Also: To Wong Foo — Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1994) Drag queens, yes; acute social commentary, not so much…but how can you argue with this? Oh, that’s right, you can’t.

- André Leon Talley ranks Beyoncé in Emilio Pucci as his best dressed from the Met Gala last night, though he modestly put himself at the lowly position at #12 when in reality he was the only lady to really turn it out on that carpet. [Vogue]

- Livia Firth, wife of this year’s Best Actor Oscar winner Colin Firth, had a meeting in the ladies room at the Met Ball with Stella McCartney, Lauren Hutton, Yoko Ono, Salma Hayek, Rihanna and Hilary Alexander and was gracious enough to tweet pics of it. [Refinery29]

- Mert & Marcus by Mert & Marcus. [Fashion Gone Rogue]

- John Galliano fired his lawyer, Stephane Zerbib over “apparent irregularities in respect of his firms administration of Galliano’s financial affairs over a number of years.” Sounds like someone had their hand in the couture cookie jar. [Vogue UK]

- Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cambridge, also known to commoners as Kate Middleton, wore White Gardenia Petals by Illuminum on her special day, thus ensuring that White Gardenia Petals by Illumnum will sell-out in a matter of minutes. [Grazia]

•Bid on a chance to meet Vogue Editor in Chief Anna Wintour and attend a photo shoot for the magazine
•One full week’s stay at the private home of Diane von Furstenberg in the Bahamas
•Ralph Lauren’s Paris – Two Round Trip Business Class Tickets from NYC to Paris, two nights at the Bristol Hotel in a deluxe room, dinner for two at Ralph’s, the quintessential American restaurant in Paris, a 1,000 euro shopping experience at the Ralph Lauren store on St. Germain, and two tickets to visit “The Art of the Automobile: Masterpieces of the Ralph Lauren Collection,” an exclusive exhibit of Mr. Lauren’s vintage automobiles featured at the Musée des Arts décoratifs.
•Live like a Vanity Fair writer for a day—minus the torture of actually reporting and writing. The winning bidder will take a tour of the Vanity Fair offices, have lunch with one of the editors, sit in on a meeting in Graydon Carter’s office, and then finish off the day with a dinner for four at Mr. Carter’s restaurant, The Monkey Bar.
Night: 2 tickets and backstage passes to Jay-Z and Kanye West’s concert
•Morning, Noon & Night with Tory Burch – Morning: $3,000 shopping spree at Tory Burch with a personal stylist; Noon: Lunch with Tory and the design team;
•Lunch and style consultation with celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe, includes a tour of her offices and additional styling tips from her team
•Go behind the scenes with The Hilfigers at the Spring 2012 Tommy Hilfiger ad campaign shoot. Get prepped out in a full Tommy Hilfiger look at the brand’s Fifth Avenue store before having your photograph taken with the Hilfigers.
•A meet and greet with The Row designers Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen plus an entire wardrobe of Elizabeth and James and The Row Collections
•Two tickets to the Elton John Oscar’s Party
•The opportunity to intern for a day at Elle Magazine along with a personal fashion consultation with Elle Creative Director Joe Zee
•Have a Barbie custom made by Mattel in your likeness, valued at over $10,000
•Courtesy of DKNY, enjoy a “VIP” experience at Yankee Stadium for four guests. Experience includes a private tour of Monument Park followed by watching the Yankees’ batting practice from the field, followed by a meet and greet with Yankees Manager Joe Girardi. Afterwards, watch the Yankees take on the Tampa Bay Rays on July 9th, 2011, from four front row Legends Suite seats
•A lunch and style consultation with TV Personality and Project Runway Judge Tim Gunn
•Two tickets to the Vera Wang Spring Summer 2012 Fashion Show followed by a meet and greet with the designer and a $2000 shopping spree at the Vera Wang flagship store
•The opportunity to personalize a PS1 ‘it’ bag with Proenza Schouler designers Jack McCullough and Lazaro Hernandez
•A “Made to Measure Experience” custom suit and fitting from designer Tom Ford.
•Eight tickets to the Metropolitan Opera and dinner with Lincoln Center President Reynold Levy
•Two tickets to a live filming of “Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen” along with private cocktails with host Andy Cohen following the filming
•And many, many more……….

So get bidding on Charity Buzz, and support Japan in the most fashionable way possible (or any way you can).

- Lauren Conrad is launching her own beauty site, The Beauty Department, which purports to help “anyone who’s ever had a beauty question or gotten into a fight with a hair brush and lost.” On my behalf, I will say that I didn’t lose the fight since the hairbrush ended up handle first in my vanity mirror. [Fashionista

- Gianfranco Ferré's new owner, Paris Group, has given the label's creative directors, Tommaso Aquilano and Roberto Rimondi the proverbial boot, citing sluggish sales. A retailer admitted they bought " a minimal amount of the collection for the sake of carrying the brand" but noted that "[t]here was almost no daywear and eveningwear was fairy tale, like something for the Oscars. It may work for a small, niche brand, but not for such a global brand.” Ferré is expected to skip a season until Paris Group  finds it bearings, though those bearings could also be found in the John Galliano label, which the Group may consider purchasing from LVMH. [WWD]

- American Apparel sleaze, Dov Charney, wants to live the Hugh Hefner lifestyle: hopped up on so many ‘ludes and Viagra he won’t know when he’s coming or on who. [Styleite]

- The world’s most expensive shoe costs nearly $230,000 and is made of solid gold and over 2200 diamonds. That’s nothing, I’ve got the world’s most expensive Crocs:  $250, made of solid plastic and Cubic zirconia. It goes really well with my world’s most expensive velour tracksuit. [Telegraph]

- Noted Jew, Donna Karan, thinks John Galliano‘s anti-Semitic remarks were “”blown up out of proportion.”  Karan goes on to say that Galliano is “a wonderful designer, a brilliant designer, and he probably needs help and support right now.” Well, I already know of someone who’s on the help and support bandwagon. [The Cut]

- Remember when Matthew Williamson said that Kate Middleton “isn’t a fashion bunny” and “I don’t know why everyone in fashion is waiting to see what she wears. I’m, like, thinking: get over it.” Well, turns out he was just “misquoted”: “I was referring to the fact that I’d been asked about her three times previously in the same night so it was more that I was over the fact that I’d been asked repeatedly about her. I’m setting the record straight: I’m a big fan and I’m sure she’ll make an amazing choice [for her wedding dress].” Yeah, that record is about as straight as Elton John‘s Oscar party. [Fashionista]

Update: So, apparently Reese is photographed with her Water for Elephants co-star, Tai…way harsh.

For Vogue‘s May issue, the Oscar-winner, mother of two and recent newlywed was styled by Tonne Goodman and lensed by Peter Lindbergh. Reese was also given a helping trunk by an elephant named Tai who, by the bye, knows how to turn it the fuck out.

That pachyderm is smizing, she’s giving me grace and beauty plus bitch is 42 years old.

And still posing nude. Some girls just got it, though I wouldn’t have minded a tasteful suit.

Link Love/Photos: Vogue

I’m not really a fan of the neckline on the Roland Mouret gown — I’m just gonna say it, her boobs look weird. But then again all boobs look weird to me…

I do, however, enjoy the hair, although it reminds me a bit of Rihanna‘s April cover. Two consecutive face-obstructing dos could be a potential don’t.

What do you think, is Reese’s Vogue cover doing anything for you?

Photo: The Fashion Spot

Carey Mulligan

Starring roles: A Miu Miu, Vionnet and Prada devotee, Carey’s also not afraid to make a bold choice…such as ignoring Anna Wintour‘s advice. Others have died for less, but her gambits more often pay off than not. With one Oscar nomination down — for An Education (2009) – Mulligan’s sure to get another for next year’s The Great Gatsby, playing the ultimate ingénue, Daisy Buchanan.

Elle Fanning

Starring roles: Elle proved such a fave with the Mulleavy sisters, they cast her in a short film for Rodarte. After stealing scenes in the independent Somewhere (2010), Elle’s going for the blockbuster gusto with J.J. Abrams‘s Super 8, out this summer.

Hailee Steinfeld

Starring roles: Along with Fanning, Steinfeld is proving that it’s never too early to be a fashionista by going on a winning streak during awards season…if only on the red carpet. Hailee nabbed an Oscar nom for showing her Grit, but for her next project, she’s going for a softer touch: she’s attached to a retelling of Sleeping Beauty.

Mia Wasikowska

Starring roles: Honestly, I’ve been more inspired by Mia’s stunning editorials as of late than her red carpet style. She first had me with W alongside her Jane Eyre co-star, Michael Fassbender then she channeled another Mia (Farrow) for Blackbook. She’s super talented and naturally beautiful plus with a slew of upcoming roles, she’ll have plenty of time to brush up on her style notes.

Blake Lively

Starring roles: When Karl Lagerfeld handpicks you to be the Chanel Purse Ambassador, you’re officially an icon. Best known for her penchant for Gossip, Blake surprised everyone with a dramatic turn in The Town (2010) and will soon be feeling up Ryan Reynold‘s muscled, latex-clad torso in this summer’s Green Lantern. Some ingenues get all the luck.

Keira Knightley

Starring roles: Another of Karl’s favorites, Keira’s been a red carpet highlight for years — I’m still screaming at her in Vera Wang at the 2006 Oscars.*  Though she was keeping a low profile for a while, Knightley came roaring back in this Chanel Couture stunner at the London premiere of Never Let Me Go. Add to that coup her recent Chanel Coco Mademoiselle short film and the upcoming romantic drama Last Night this May.

Leighton Meester

Starring roles: Though she’s the picture of Upper East Side preppy refinement as Blair Waldorf, Leighton’s personal style falls more in the delightfully quirky category. Along with Carey, Leighton is among the most fun and daring of these youthful beauties. Between gigs on Gossip Girl, Meester will next be seen seducing Dr. House himself in The Oranges out later this year.

Mila Kunis

Starring roles: Black Swan propelled Mila Kunis into a completely different stratosphere, one with awards and critical praise. Mila rose gamely to the challenge of red carpet dressing, peaking with this Alexander McQueen number from the SAG Awards. Next she’ll trade in her toe shoes to shack up with Justin Timberlake before hopping a broom for Oz: The Great and Powerful.

Michelle Williams

Starring roles: Michelle had her best style moment at this year’s Oscars when she took my breath away in this simple Chanel column… although her 2006 canary yellow Vera Wang* still holds a special place in my heart. Once upon a Creek, Michelle Williams was Katie Holmes‘ rival, so it makes poetic sense that while Katie is Jackie O, Michelle will play Marilyn Monroe in next year’s My Week With Marilyn.

Anne Hathaway

Starring roles: Honestly, Hathaway’s days as an ingénue are practically through, but having put in her Princess days, she’s succesfully transitioning to a leading lady. She managed to hold up the weight of the entire Academy Awards telecast this year on her bold, tuxedoed shoulders, so her next challenge Anne will be to claw up the screen as Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises.

*Sidebar: Meanwhile, I forgot how much werq Vera was doing at the Academy Awards that year.

What would a Tyra production be without Tyra taking the opportunity to chew so much scenery even Bette Davis would ask her to reign it in a little? Luckily La Banks does not disappoint and gives a very literal interpretation of the LBD’s versatility with an extended multiple personality disorder metaphor, that is until André mercifully puts her down. No one’s ever going to give Tyra an Oscar, but god bless her for tryin’ — although I did say the same thing about the Emmys.…

Next thing you know Tyra’s experiencing what I’ve only dreamed about every night since I was 14 — André Leon Talley screaming in my face in French.

Then she sits on his lap and he tells her a little haute couture bedtime story, which begins thusly: “The Little Black Dress will take you throughout your entiiiiiiire life.” Fasten your seatbelts, we’re going on a sartorial journey! Mama Bear continues,”When you have doubts, you just go back to that Little Black Dress, wear that and you will be safe.” That is unless you encounter a wolf in cheap clothing.

On this magical journey, ALT also imparts some wholesome lessons for the kids:

- how to properly pronounce Givenchy. Not “GA’-VEN-TCH” but “ZHEEvonSHAAAY.”

- Coco Chanel created the little black dress in 1926

- you shouldn’t call her Coco, but Gabrielle, if you’re feeling respectful

- And perhaps the most important lesson, the Word of the Day, dreckitude: The lowest point in the lowest ebb. The lowest of the lows. See also:

And despite this “ultimate little black don’t,” we all lived Happily Ever After.

Link Love: Fa-Fa-Fa Fashion

- Target is apparently offering a Mossimo knock-off of Proenza Schouler‘s PS1 bag and Jack and Lazaro are none too happy about it. Target on the other hand will neither confirm nor deny the allegations but they did say something about being rubber and Proenza being glue. [NYT]

- Noted actress, Tea Leoni…it is 1998, right? Anyway, Tea Leoni will be starring in a new HBO pilot set in the fabulous, fast-paced world of fashion titled Spring/Fall. The show is being written by one of Six Feet Under‘s scribes and produced by the kids who brought you The September Issue, so Tea Leoni might actually have a career again. The 90s really are back! [Deadline]

- The second gal to accuse Dov Charney of…well, being Dov Charney took to the airwaves to speak to Today. My guess, for a company already on the verge of bankruptcy, this isn’t going to help. Just sayin’. [NY Mag]

- Katie Holmes got down with the Real Housewives of New York at a premiere party for her new fashion short film with John Frieda…hey, remember that time Holmes’ Dawson Creek co-star, Michelle Williams, got nominated for an Oscar? Twice? [Daily Front Row]

- View co-host and EGOT-er, Whoopi Goldberg admitted that she was stoned as a Marley on 420 when she accepted her Best Supporting Actress Oscar at the 1991 ceremony: ”So I smoked this wonderful joint that was the last of my home grown. When he [presenter Denzel Washington] said my name and I popped up, I thought, ‘Oh fuck… okay, up the stairs… around to the podium… there’s millions of people, pick up the statue, get the statue.’” Oooh, Whoopi’s got that home grown ish? Can a bitch come over and hold your Oscar in a very similar state of mind? [DListed]

- Speaking of perfumes that stink (kidding), Oscar-winner (kidding) Reese Witherspoon is shilling not one but three new perfumes for Avon. She wants you to live, laugh and love with her. And I want her to learn some better poses that don’t reek of cliché. Hopefully she learned a trick or two for her Vogue cover in May…which — shockingly — coincides with the release of her new movie. Well-played, Tracy Flick. Well-played. [Fashionista]

- Prince Charles might be in some dire financial straits as of late, or he’s just completely without shame…probably the latter, because he’s selling a 250-piece jigsaw puzzle of his son and future daughter-in-law at his official store. A.) He has an official store? and B.) Really, a puzzle? With all of England’s resources, he couldn’t throw together something a little nicer? A commemorative tea set? An Ed Hardy-esque motorcycle jacket with the happy couple emblazoned on the back?   [Daily Mail]

Elizabeth Taylor’s style can probably be summed up with a trio of B’s: Big, Bold and Bling. From her bodacious figure to the epic Taylor-Burton Diamond (a little trinket from husband #5/6, Richard Burton — a pear-shaped 69.42 carat diamond bought for a paltry $1,050,000 in 1969), Liz Taylor was what a movie star should be: glamorous and larger than life.

Best known as a child star from films such as National Velvet (1944) and Lassie Come Home (1943), Liz forever shed that image in the 1951 classic, A Place in the Sun co-starring soon-to-be best friend and confidante, Montgomery Clift. Monty pines away for the unattainable Liz only to have his dream life and love sidetracked by insistent plain Jane, Shelly Winters. The story ends tragically, but not before Liz emerges as a beautiful young thing in an elegant white ball gown that takes not only Monty’s breath away, but the audience’s.

In Giant (1956), Liz shared the screen with two other closet cases, thus ensuring her claim as the world’s foremost fag hag, Rock Hudson and James Dean. She formed lifelong friendships with both men, though they reportedly hated each other. Rock’s old Hollywood studio professionalism clashed with Dean’s reckless Method actor rebelliousness and Liz was often called on to act as mediator. Dean died in a car crash during the production in 1955, but one can see that in their short time together they formed a bond.

In 1956, Taylor would experience another tragedywith one of her friends when Monty Clift crashed his car in the middle of filming Raintree Country. Clift would have died had Liz not dislodged his two front teeth from his throat. Production was halted while Clift underwent surgery and though he continued to act, Clift was visibly and mentally altered, and died in 1966 after a long battle with drug and alcohol addiction.

With 1958′s Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Liz set pulses racing as Maggie the Cat, the sexually-frustrated wife of bitter and repressed Paul Newman, who’s too busy mourning his recently deceased friend to pay any heed to Maggie or his ailing family. Though Tennessee Williams‘ play was toned down for film audiences, the most memorable image is that of Liz writhing around in nothing but a white silk slip.

Taylor earned Best Actress Oscar nominations for Raintree and Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, but she won her first statuette for 1960′s BUtterfield 8. She wore a stunning Christian Dior gown to accept the prize, though she felt she only won out of sympathy — she had recently lost husband Mike Todd and had nearly died from an illness during filming.

In 1963, Elizabeth Taylor became the first actress to earn $1 million for a movie for Cleopatra and during filming she fell in love with her co-star, the dashing Richard Burton. The costumes in Cleopatra were some of the most opulent ever put to film, but what else would one expect of the most famous woman in the world playing the most famous woman in history. Taylor had 65 costumes in total, including a dress made from 24-carat gold thread and cost a total $194,800 — the most expensive wardrobe for any individual screen actor ever.

Liz would win her second Best Actress Oscar for 1966′s Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, as the volatile and alcoholic Martha alongside then-husband Dick Burton’s George. Undeniably her greatest performance, Taylor eschewed her glamorous image to play the aging, plump and slovenly Martha.

The dynamic on screen was similar to real life and the Battling Burtons divorced in 1974, only to give it one more shot a year later. They were divorced for the second and final time in 1976, though their turbulent relationship led Vanity Fair to label theirs the Romance of the Century.

Though film roles dried up later in life, Elizabeth Taylor still dressed every inch the part and her impact on film, fashion, pop culture, as well as her tireless humanitarian efforts will keep her legend shining brighter than any white diamond ever could.

These Have Always Brought Me Luck:

National Velvet (1944)

Father of the Bride (1950)

A Place in the Sun (1951)

Giant (1956)

Raintree Country (1957)

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958)

Suddenly, Last Summer (1959)

Cleopatra (1963)

The V.I.P.s (1963)

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)

The Taming of the Shrew (1967)

Beautiful, stylish and always at the ready with a fresh cocktail or a witty remark (often both) Nora  is married to retired detective/functioning alcoholic Nick Charles (the brilliant William Powell).

In town for the holidays, Nick and Nora are ensnared in a murder mystery after the mistress of one of Nick’s old client’s turns up dead. Nick is then beseeched by said client’s willful daughter to help clear her father’s name.

Based on Dashiell Hammett‘s novel of the same name, what follows is a twisty-turny whodunit sharper than anything Hollywood has turned out in decades. In fact, Powell and Loy’s chemistry proved so dynamic they were reunited for five more sequels (they eventually starred in 14 films together), but this was far and away their best outing.

Costume designer Dolly Tree keeps Nora looking every inch the socialite, but for a film almost 80 years old, her wardrobe is surprisingly modern. Nora is prone to fur and dramatic sleeves, but she also sports a silk jumpsuit, a bowtie and an evening gown that passes for revealing even by today’s lax standards.

It’s hard to pick Nora’s best look — she’s in the film for maybe 35 minutes in total but like any lady worth her salt she has no less than 8 wardrobe changes — however the dress she dons for the Charles’ Christmas party ranks high on the list. Asymmetrical…tiers…a study in stripes….it’s like she’s a gorgeous candy cane:

Then there’s this subtle nightgown:

I mean, if you’re going to go to bed, why not throw on a silk negligee with floor-sweeping sleeves and fur trim? It beats a Snuggie any day of the week.

Though originally intended as a B picture and shot in only two weeks, The Thin Man went on to earn four Oscar nominations and remains one of the best — and certainly one of the most stylish — comedies of Hollywood’s Golden Age.

And now, After:

Miraculous the transformation, no?

Here are some great quotes from her interview:

On being heavy when she was younger…

“I will tell you that when I was heavy, people would say to me—and it was such a backhanded compliment—they would say, ‘You’ve got such a beautiful face,’ in the way of, like, ‘Oh, isn’t it a shame that from the neck down you’re questionable.’ ”

On whether or not she’s had plastic surgery or wants to change anything about her body…

“No, I have never tried any of that stuff…. I don’t have parts of my body that I hate or would like to trade for somebody else’s or wish I could surgically adjust into some fantasy version of what they are.”

On what she thinks her life will be like in five years…

“I don’t want to know. As long as my kids are OK, I think it is really good for me not to have the answers.”

To see the full list of the 50 Most Glam, click here. The April issue will be available on newsstands nationwide and digitally (on the iPad and the Barnes & Noble NookColor) March 8.

“I am deeply shocked and disgusted by the video of John Galliano’s comments that surfaced today. In light of this video, and as an individual who is proud to be Jewish, I will not be associated with Mr. Galliano in any way. I hope at the very least, these terrible comments remind us to reflect and act upon combating these still-existing prejudices that are the opposite of all that is beautiful.”

I’ll take a V for Vendetta and an F for fallout.

Link Love: NYT

Florence looked like a creepy, 19th-century bride in her Valentino gown last night (in a good way). However, ”It was really see-through,” Florence told E! in an interview. And, “I wasn’t quite ready to go see-though at the Oscars,” she added.

In the end, the singer’s lady parts remained hidden from plain sight by flesh-colored slips – her people caught the near naked disaster.

Great. Now everyone will have to peek in her window Antoine Dodson-style to behold her pale nakedness.

Link Love: E!

Get the future glow with St. Tropez Skin Illuminator. When applied to the cheek bones, décolletage, arms and shins your body gives off a mysterious delicate glow. It comes in a travel size tube, for on-the-go blueing, and it has a similar scent as sunscreen. I gave this product a bit of a test run, and I applied a droplet to the back of my hand so I could examine it closely. The effect is like a mild black-light-esque buzz. It’s subtle enough to not look alien, but bright enough to garner a double take. My left hand is currently considerably more curious than my right, the highlights shimmer back against the light.

When to use it? It  looks best atop our melanin extremes: either the brightest of fair or the warmest of tanned. Against the very pale, the blue leans more McQueen. Against the very tan, it reflects its namesake party island in the French Riviera, parfait after a day of sunning sans top.

The sample batch was used all over London Fashion Week Spring 2010, and now it’s available for purchase. You’re on the right track, baby.

Anne looked stunning and statuesque in a purple Armani Privé Spring 2011 Couture gown. I love the glamorous air she radiates in this dress that literally shines.

Fit: 5

Trendiness: 5

Appropriateness: 5

Styling: 5

Hair: 3

Makeup: 4

Pose: 4

Confidence: 5

Credit: Tom & Lorenzo

Anne wore her final look of the show to the Vanity Fair Oscar Party and brought all of the glamour with her. She looked stunning in a dazzling red Atelier Versace gown.

Fit: 5

Trendiness: 4

Appropriateness: 5

Styling: 5

Hair: 5

Makeup: 5

Pose: 3

Confidence: 4

For her absolutely smashing singing performance that should put her immediately on Broadway, Anne wore a custom Lanvin tuxedo with custom Swarovski crystal-encrusted Brian Atwood satin pumps. She looks like a classic beauty performing in an old Hollywood movie. Can’t get enough!

Fit: 5

Trendiness: 4

Appropriateness: 5

Styling: 4

Shoes: 5

Hair: 5

Makeup: 5

Pose: 5

Confidence: 5

Anne is truly a modern day movie star. She obviously stole the show even though I love James Franco and thought he looked smashing as well. Sigh.

Cody Horn wore a casual floral dress and horrifying fingerless gloves to the Oscars. I have been searching high and low for the designer responsible for this, but alas, no dice. If you know who designed this, please let me know.

Fit: 4

Trendiness: 2

Appropriateness: 2

Styling: 1

Shoes: 3

Hair: 1

Makeup: 1

Pose: 3

Confidence: 4

I am going to have a stroke if I see one more young Hollywood starlet show up to an awards show this under-dressed. Yes, Jennifer Lawrence looked pretty in this custom-made Calvin Klein dress, but it’s way too casual for the biggest night in Hollywood.

Fit: 5

Trendiness: 4

Appropriateness: 1

Styling: 2

Hair: 2

Makeup: 4

Pose: 5

Confidence: 4

Reese Witherspoon managed to make a classic Armani Privé dress look like someone’s prom leftovers. The ponytail and the dress together… big mistake. We all know she can do better.

Fit: 5

Trendiness: 2

Appropriateness: 4

Styling: 3

Hair: 2

Makeup: 4

Pose: 3

Confidence: 4

Get to work ladies! Let’s try a little harder next year please.

Cate Blanchett has my vote for best dressed at last night’s Oscars in Givenchy Spring 2011 Couture. Her absolutely stunning look was as close to perfection as one can get.

Fit: 5

Trendiness: 5

Appropriateness: 5

Styling: 5

Hair: 4

Makeup: 5

Pose: 3

Confidence: 5

Mark Ruffalo‘s wife and fabulous lady Sunrise Coigney turned it out on the red carpet in Jean Paul Gaultier Fall 2010 Couture and looked more avant-garde than anyone else at the Oscars.

Fit: 5

Trendiness: 5

Appropriateness: 4

Styling: 5

Shoes: 5

Hair: 5

Makeup: 5

Pose: 5

Confidence: 5

Merely one month after giving birth, Penelope Cruz arrived to the Oscars wearing this fiery red gown from the L’Wren Scott Spring 2011 collection. Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz also have my vote for hottest couple.

Fit: 4

Trendiness: 4

Appropriateness: 5

Styling: 4

Hair: 4

Makeup: 5

Pose: 3

Confidence: 5

Did you notice the top three women on my best-dressed list weren’t even nominated for Oscars? Way to steal the spotlight ladies, you deserve the recognition!

Everyone stood up for Billy Crystal when he showed up on stage at the Oscars last night, as if there was a certain sense of relief: daddy’s home. Hosting the Oscars is basically a thankless job (see: Jon Stewart, Conan O’Brien, Alec Baldwin/Steve Martin etc., etc.). It’s like walking a tightrope above a sea of sharks in couture gowns and Tom Ford tuxedos. Crystal was the go-to person for years and will probably be asked back next year.

Which isn’t to say that Anne Hathaway and James Franco didn’t do a decent job. The opening was hilarious and provided us with this little token of awesomeness, otherwise known as James Franco in a leotard:

They’re actors so they were best in a pre-taped skit, but then things took a quick dive, salvaged only by Anne Hathaway’s plucky charm and seven wardrobe changes (the best being the blue Armani Privé and the final Tom Ford, though in truth I would’ve preferred a few more looks; that first Givenchy Haute Couture seemed to last for. ever.)

Franco was high or just being James Franco, either way he was apparently too busy tweeting to commit fully to his hosting duties.  Though, honestly, it’s James Franco and I could care less what he does as long as he’s just around, perhaps lurking in a corner somewhere. And preferably in drag:

Photo: Huffington Post

It wasn’t Cher, but girl will throw a wig on at the drop of a hat.

The acceptance speeches were long-winded and boring, with the award for Most Pompous Grandstander going to Aaron Sorkin, natch. Luckily we had Best Supporting Actress Melissa Leo throwing the F-word around like it was going out of style. Combined with 900-year-old Kirk Douglas stealing the show and hobbling away with it, there was nothing really to hold interest past the first 45 minutes of the show.

The King’s Speech took home four awards, the four biggest awards at that: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay and most deservedly, Best Actor for Colin Firth, who delivered an eloquent and clever speech like only the British can. I was pulling for dark horse, Black Swan, though The Social Network had blown its wad at the earlier awards shows.

Natalie Portman won Best Actress over multiple snubbee, Annette Bening and delivered another adorable speech. Christian Bale took home Best Supporting Actor and from the looks of him probably went back to living in a cardboard box. Though, forest beard or not, I’d still hit it.

Gwyneth Paltrow made an appearance on an Oscar stage for the first time in who gives a…performing “Coming Home” from Country Strong and Cee Lo‘s presence was certainly missed.

All in all, the show was a big snooze, but I’m seriously going to miss all the hooplah of awards season. There’s nothing to look forward to now until the Emmys in September! Oh, and I guess the VMAs if you’re into that kind of trash. Twas a good season though, full of great movies and a poorly produced Oscars telecast, but now we can all refer to that guy from Nine Inch Nails as “Academy Award winner Trent Reznor.”

- Aguilera’s alcoholism knows no boozy bounds. [Celebitchy]

- Kirsten Dunst steps in to fill Julianne Moore‘s nonexistent shoes at Bulgari. Dunst won’t have to suckle any cubs, however, as the lion is now fully grown. Cue the opening to “Circle of Life.” [Huff Po]

- OMG, even James Franco‘s design illustration for his Gucci tux at the Oscars is dreamy. And, let’s be real, probably stoned too. [Style.com]

- Rachel Zoe thought her water could “totally break” at the opening for the new Tom Ford store on Rodeo Drive last night. That baby’s first words would have been, “I. Die.” [NY Mag]

- Lady Gaga‘s perfume will contain samples of her blood and will smell like an “expensive hooker.” [Huff Po]

- Salvatore Ferragamo was a friend of Dorothy. The designer created Dorothy’s Ruby Slippers for The Wizard of Oz, and is one of many designers to have collaborated in film. From Coco Chanel to Rodarte, explore a brief history of fashion in film. [Style.com]

- Just when you thought the White House couldn’t get more fierce, there’s a new bitch in town. Jeremy Bernard is the brand new, openly gay White House Social Secretary. I can’t wait for him and Mo to get mani-peds together while dishing over Barack‘s approval rating. In the bedroom. Go head girl! [Gawker]

- Ladies at the Oscars this year are not fucking around with their heels The rule is go sky high or go home. [NY Mag]

Photo: Celebitchy/WENN

It’s a completely different thing, however, to deny us our favorite gender-bending, mindfucking, A-list boycrush heartthrob James Franco performing the song. And in Cher drag no less. This is the OSCARS, for Chaz Bono’s sake. The only people watching are the gays, the elderly and the Jews, and I think I can safely say that we are all very disappointed in you, Academy.

Franco tweeted on Monday: ”they pulled this from the oscar show. damn it,” including an audio clip of him “belting” out “You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me Yet.” The alleged plan was to have Jimmy Francs cover the song then Cher to come out and show him how an Oscar-winning legend does it. But considering the Diane Warren-penned, Golden Globe-winning tune has been left out of the nominations, that is merely a pipe dream.

Producers apparently thought it “inappropriate” to devote so much time and attention to a song and movie that were not even nominated. Blah blah blah.

Well Cher, never known for her subtlety, took to her Twitter in a series of rants to give the world a piece of her mind:

“Ok this IS ME BEING A BABY ! MY HEART IS BROKEN ! I WAS UPSET AFTER WINNING THE GOLDEN GLOBE … Not to b nominated by the Academy, but the Music Voting process is different Than the acting directing etc etc … Process ALL ACTORS GET A CHANCE TO VOTE 4 ALL the actors , same with directors etc ! With Orig Song … There is Blue Ribbon Panel of a few people who decide ! Unlike ALL Actors Getting To Decide Who The ACTOR Nominees will b ! … James Franco was going to dress up in the “Welcome to Burlesque outfit & sing U Haven’t Seen the Last of me … I was OVER THE MOON ! cause even if I did get Snubbed by the music part of the Academy … How Cool was it to sing your song … To have YOUR SONG sung by James Fkn Franco in Your Outfit ! Well I guess his singing ( unlike his Acting Sucks ) … But he COULD HAVE LIP SYNCED ! oh well I’m all sour grapes ! It was GREAT THAT HE thought the Song was good enough to try ! … Gotta count our blessings where we find them ! Disappointment passes! But I’ll keep this Song alive.”

Later, these tweets were removed, along with Franco’s, leaving only speculation and hearsay. But it’s 2011 and whenever something happens, someone’s going to see it. Which leads me to believe that there is a vast Academy Awards conspiracy against…well, I haven’t figured out who or what it is against, but once I do….the whole crazy shitshow will come crumbling down like so many Saltine crackers.

Link Love: ET Online, E! Online