It’s Dubai. And yes, they got her non-wonkeye side.

I read a review about this place earlier and it sounds kind of cool, unless you’re terrified of the circus. It’s above Bowlmor, and Paris Hilton is apprently going to be there, which means she’ll walk in take 50 pictures then leave.

Link

Author Jordan Christy campaigns for a new type of “It Girl” in her new book of advice, How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World. All of you who voted Anne Hathaway in our Quest yesterday can rejoice: this new It-Girl is “successful, stylish, smart” with “classic ideals and values” making her more like Anne then Megan Fox. Christy labels this current It-Girls as “stupid girls” and shares her encounters with them, incase your middle/high school experience and the current state of Lindsay Lohan infested tabloids wasn’t enough of a hint not to be like them. Christy does well and refrains from just bashing, her book is filled with tips how to dress, act and have fun so you can find what every smart girl wants: love, happiness and success. It all sounds a bit cliche on the surface and Christy’s book may sound like common sense to some of you but it’s a fast changing world anyone who has style, class and grace figured out in these tough times is a good friend to have.

Christy’s book features gimmicks such as the “Hepburn Guide to Self Respect Quiz”, meant to tell you what your image says about you but can also be useful in telling your friends that they are a little too Paris-esque for your liking (no one wants to be friends with a slutty camera whore). Christy suggests that we read the dictionary during Lost commercials, which seems a bit extreme to me but she did succeed in making me appreciate Mrs. Hepburn a little more. And a little extra motivation for all us working girls: Madonna used to be a Dunkin Donuts employee.

So, whether you read this book for its dating tips (an unexpected perk I especially enjoyed) or as advice how to tell your BFF she’s too much of a Hilton to stick with, or to just better yourself in general you should read it. Ps: This is also a good way not to end up on our Street Zeros column.

“My mom and Michael went to high school together and they were best friends since they were 13,” Paris explains. “So I grew up knowing Michael very well and when he had his daughter, he always loved the name Paris and grew up being an uncle to me. So he asked my mom if it was okay and of course she said yes and I think she’s such a beautiful little girl and I’m proud we have the same name.”

LINKAGE: The Superficial

Unless you’re a Broadway star, you most likely can’t sing as well as you act. In addition, if you’re dumb enough to sell your soul to reality television, you probably aren’t literate enough to write a novel, let alone spell your name. That being said, it is beyond me how today’s celebrities think they can be virtuosos and dabble in careers that require talent. Here’s a list of the ten most annoying, basically talentless, celebrity multitaskers. Read it and weep: 

1.) PARIS HILTON: Even though she’s only famous for being daddy’s little future trust-fund baby, Paris has unfortunately soiled the world as an actress, reality television personality, singer, model, fashion designer, perfumer, television producer and porn star. And people wonder why foreigners laugh at Americans. 

2.) KATE MOSS: Aside from blowing coke, Kate has flirted with modeling, acting, singing, designing for TopShop and writing a cookbook! 

3.) LINDSAY LOHAN: When LiLo isn’t taking part in bulimic vomit sessions, she enjoys acting, singing (poorly), modeling, designing leggings and pretending to be a lesbian. 

4.) KANYE WEST: When the people at the Gap send Kanye home after a long day of interning, the Louis Vuitton Don loves to rap, write songs, design shoes, attending shows at fashion week and shave Amber Rose’s head.

5.) LAUREN CONRAD: Although Lauren’s clothing line failed miserably, she avoids suicide by keeping busy with being a reality television personality, appearing in Family Guy, singing, writing her autobiography and attempting to sell the remainder of her clothing line. 

6.) HILARY DUFF: She hasn’t been in the tabloids lately, but Hilary’s repertoire consists of acting, singing, modeling, designing clothes and looking like a horse with those veneers of hers. 

7.) PETE WENTZ: Being a douche bag is tough work, but Wentz still finds time to sing, act in CSI, design hideous clothes and own several bars. 

8.) HEIDI MONTAG: Wiping Spencer Pratt’s ass is awfully time consuming, so props to Heidi for making time to be a reality television personality, actress, singer and model. What an ambitious girl! 

9.) FERGIE: Aside from being the universal spelling-bee champion, Fergie prides herself on her singing, acting and designing careers. G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S. 

10.) NICOLE RICHIE: With a second baby in her belly and a reality television, singing, acting, maternity-wear designing career under her belt, Richie is the ultimate mom.

EW. Seriously?  No, that isn’t Ben Afleck, it’s Doug Reinhardt, Lauren Conrad’s previous flame from The Hills.  I don’t even know what to say about this. Her outfit isn’t even bad, but this photo definitely deserves a fuck up. Really?

SOURCE: Jezebel

Gucci is about as tired of Guess as we are. They just filed a complaint in New York against the company that helped make Paris Hilton and Anna Nicole Smith household names. The action is against Guess?’s use of green-and-red stripe designs mixed with interlocking G’s a pattern design the Italian brand claims is theirs. Guess attempting to Guccize sounds scary to me. I guess someone is set to pay for this most heinous act.

LINKAGE: Gucci Sues Guess? Inc. Over Use of ‘G’

Whatever this furry thingy is, I want it. Totally not kidding, I would take it with me everywhere, especially on the subway where I can be the asshole with the giant pillow under by butt. But seriously, is this a doggy bed?

Paris Hilton is slotted to win a prestigious perfume award next month, but before she does the celebutard plans to release one more scent. How many is that now? NINE!!! Paris Hilton’s NINTH perfume. I didn’t realize there were that many skankette wannabes out there.

The newest fragrance will be called ‘Siren’ and is slated for a summer release.

LINKAGE: Paris Hilton launching 9th fragrance

I think that Paris Hilton is gorgeous without makeup. I’m sorry, but in many of these photos she looks like a transvestite. I guess that’s what you get when the hair and makeup team work for a Euro-trashy, more is much less kind of brand. This album takes a look at the current ads for spring/summer 2009 as well as some of Hilton’s former campaigns for Guess. I really like the series where she’s standing in front of the wallpaper/curtain; her hair looks gorgeous, she’s not wearing white lipgloss and her skin doesn’t look like last season’s leather bag. I have to give her some props, however, for having a versatile look. Even if sometimes the look is Eurotrash tranny.

GALLERY: Paris Hilton for Guess

LINKAGE: In Case You Didn’t Know

Paris Hilton poses looking like a wax figure.

Lately it seems as though no matter what Ms. Hilton is wearing, or not wearing, those sequins always seem to find a spot on her outfits. Whether it be bikinis or dresses, she just can’t seem to ditch the glitz. Now I’m pretty sure she stands out enough from the crowd, but if Paris wants more attention, she’ll get more attention-the sequins do just that. And what’s with the bondage inspired bathing suit? Is she going to a swingers party or heading to the beach? My guess is she’s trying to steal Lady Gaga’s spotlight…