All Entries Tagged With: "paris hilton"

Porn Star Make-Over: Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is annoying, and I get sick of hearing about her. So I am kicking myself for posting about her, but I had to get this off my chest. Even though I can’t stand her droopy-eyed, nonchalant stare, she is a beautiful girl. But I am wondering what is happening in this photo. The before picture shows her natural, no-nonsense beauty. But the look with the red lipstick looks like an ad for high class genie hookers. I’m not sure what message she was trying to get across here, but it’s totally not working. Stick to your natural looks sweetheart. You weren’t given good genes for nothing!

I Vote Paris…..For President!

In an interview for the November issue of Harper’s Bazaar, Paris outlined her presidential platform, suggesting she will only wear American designers if elected and replace inaugural balls with rock parties.

“I won’t have a cabinet; I will have a closet,” Paris explained. ” A giant walk-in closet with all styles of advisers, like Michael Kors, Kanye West, Diane von Furstenberg, Naughty by Nature, Stephen Hawking, Madonna, Karl Lagerfeld, and, of course, Tinkerbell.”

HB:Who will be your vice president?
PH: Rihanna, of course. She’s hot.

HB:How do you intend to redecorate the White House?

PH: In these trying economic times, I believe the White House should have a minimalist touch: open floor plan, glass and steel, throw pillows, and an infinity pool.

“My advice to Sarah Palin is, you’ve got a hot bod; don’t keep it to yourself,” the heiress told the style mag. “Why wear a pantsuit when you can wear a swimsuit?”

Thanks PopCrunch

Paris and Jessica Bring in the Big Bucks

Well, it was expected that both Jessica’s and Paris’ perfumes would do well; however, tell anyone beforehand that they would increase Parlux’s net sale by almost half their initial amount and you’ll be sure to met with a stare lending to considerable wonder. News has it the company, Parlux, which manufactures both of the celebrities’ perfumes has increased profit by 43%. That’s insane!

“Demand for our products continues to be strong in a very difficult economic environment,” the Parlux chairman stated.

Hmm, I think we’re getting the picture. “Economic difficulties” don’t really translate well in this argument, or any argument concerning our two featured socialites. The perfumes are doing well, the sales are up. Hey, everything is totally fine!

Paris Lets Loose Lucky Number Eight

You’d think that seven girly perfumes were enough to send a girl running to the next best thing; apparently Paris Hilton hasn’t received the memo. Launching her eighth, and hopefully final, fragrance, Ms. Hilton has let loose the Fairy Dust. Emanating from the roots of the company Parlux, let’s hope Fairy Dust fulfills all of Paris’ dreams. It’s about time the gal jumped off that perfume train.

I’m (Way) Over It: Puffy Vests

For shame Paris! You should be embarrassed!

Whoever decided that the resurrection of puffy vests for Fall 2008 was acceptable is terribly mistaken. Take a sleeping bag, throw a zipper on it, and several of your cat’s regurgitated hair balls and you’ve got yourself another hideous puffy vest. I know, I know…they can be substituted for a coat in the cooler months and are oh, so cozy warm. Well, I don’t care. You look like another one of those preppy, Abercrombie obsessed conformists with no taste. And did you ever consider how many teddy bears could have been made out of this sorry excuse for fashion? I could have sworn that puffy vests were long gone when the last leaf fell in Fall 2007, so why on earth am I already seeing them out again? Personally, I’d rather be smothered to death by a puffy vest than be caught dead wearing one. 

Thanks for the photos The Budget Babe.

Don’t Be Cliché, Pass On The Rolex

We all know that you are rich if you have a Rolex, but who really cares. Rolex makes a nice watch, but when I step up to the bar with this Gourmet watch collaboration with Christian Tse, It’s about to get crazy. This super cool digital display has more diamonds on in that Paris Hilton has genital warts. The entire face is covered in diamonds, that cover the time until it is illuminated. This watch takes a bigger, steamier shit than the one in “two girls one cup” all over the “face” (get it!) of any Rolex I have ever seen. Elegant, classy, baller, yet not gaudy. Now I just have to sell my first born in order to get this bad boy.

Thanks Selectism for the image