Charlotte Olympia Tri-Colour Platform Pumps – Mom started that new stripper workout class, and she can’t get enough. Give her some colorful, sexy and tasteful platform heels so she can drop it like it’s hot in high style. $907, harveynichols.com

Jenny Packham French Lace and Silk-Chiffon Robe - Cougars don’t wear sweatpants and t-shirts around the house, they wear lingerie. Something soft and romantic is perfect for lounging solo or entertaining 20-something company. $1,955, net-a-porter.com

Kenneth Jay Lane 22-Karat Gold-Plated Crystal Ring - Every successful single gal needs a right hand ring, something to show the world she doesn’t need a man to buy her fine jewelry. This modern version’s coral and jade hues will be fab in the coming warm weather. $190, net-a-porter.com

Origins Starting Over Eye Cream - Just because mom looks young and hot doesn’t mean she will stay that way forever. Help her preserve that youthful, wrinkle-free face without the use of needles. It truly is the gift that keeps on giving. $41, debenhams.com

Burberry Prorsum Long Biker Leather Jacket - Leather jackets are great for clubbing because they protect you in bar fights and act as armor when falling down stairs drunk. Mom probably won’t be partying quite this hard, but a handsome leather jacket will keep the other inebriated bitches at bay. $4,494, luisaviaroma.com

What would you add to the Cougar Mother’s Day Gift Guide?

1. They’re good for your sole. Believe it or not, a platform only helps ease the pain of wearing high heels by providing an extra layer of comfort. So when you’re stepping on the carcasses of anyone who dared stand in your way  on the ladder to the top, you’re arches will be fully supported.

2. You’ll tower above the competition. A platform also adds an extra inch or two to an already spiky heel, giving you the extra height needed to grab for that last sequined Dolce clutch or to slap away the French-tipped fingers of the trash jostling for it next to you.

3. Is that a stripper pole? Sign me up! Slip on those Lucite heels and pop in that Carmen Electra stripperobics DVD, it’s time to get sassy. Platform heels are great to dance in and make you feel all kinds of sexy, even when you’re grinding your junk all over a greased up pole. Or one of these.

4. Beauty is on the foot of the beholder. The best platform heels — we’re talking Balenciaga‘s architectural arches, Prada‘s fun and funky wedges and YSL‘s hairy-heeled stilettos — are works of art that require a public viewing.

5. Flats are the devil’s footwear. Plain and simple, flats are bringing about the downfall of civilization. Just think about it. Flats are easy and suddenly life’s so easy everyone becomes complacent, then complacence breeds laziness and laziness breeds stupidity, next thing you know we’re all picking our noses and staring blankly into space while listening to President Palin’s State of the Union Address. It all adds up.

Photo: Style.com

These totally remind me of a Kirkwood shoe, but at half the price and with as much appeal. Get them here.