Who took the photo of the cover and how it was leaked will forever remain a mystery — or we could just cut the bull and assume Lindsay snapped it on the passenger seat of her SUV while speeding down the highway with a Starbucks laced with whiskey in one hand and a cigarette in the other, then sent it in to a few “reputable” sources. Either way, Lohan only plans on doing one interview to promote her Play-time and that interview, rather bafflingly, is with daytime’s favorite lesbian — you’ll get ‘em next year, Maddow – Ellen Degeneres.

The sometime Sapphic sister will stop by the Ellen Degeneres Show on December 15 to reveal her spread — I seriously almost threw up in my mouth just then — a “tasteful” and “classy” tribute to Marilyn Monroe‘s classic pictorial by Tom Kelley. The cover, though, pays homage to another Playboy classic;  the October 1971 issue which featured Darine Stern,  the first black model to appear on the cover by herself. I can’t wait to see Ellen and her audience of soccer moms and unemployed homosexuals writhe uncomfortably in their seats while Lohan discusses the artistic merit and historic significance of the shoot. DVRs at the ready, kids! [Huff Po]

Update: And after the entire spread leaked to the internet — you’re welcome — Hugh Hefner has announced that Lindsay’s Playboy issue will hit newsstands early to capitalize on the buzz/to make as much cash as possible before everyone gets tired of it. The Hef tweeted Friday: “Because of the interest & the Internet leak, we’re releasing the Lindsay Lohan issue early.”

Then: “The Lindsay Lohan issue of Playboy is going to be a true Collector’s Edition.”

And after referring to the landmark issue as “Hot. Hot. Hot.n [sic],” Hef decided to bring it to an even deeper level of creepy: “The Lindsey Lohan issue will make the perfect Christmas issue for men in your life–father, son, husband, boyfriend, whoever.”

And this is exactly why you don’t want your grandparents on the Twitter. [MTV]

Hugh Hefner, reportedly unhappy with LiLo’s first Playboy shoot, had the professional ex-convict come back to the manse for a second photoshoot with a second photographer. But fear not pervs, the Lohan Playboy issue is still scheduled to hit newsstands for January. However, don’t expect her to go all spread eagle because this is a classy affair. We’re talking tits out but panties on. Because she’s a frikkin’ lady and don’t you frikkin’  forget it! [E!]

*Sidebar: Can we talk about how the Lohan has spent more time behind bars than most rappers, which I think is a sad commentary on the state of hip-hop today. When a white girl from Long Island who was a Disney star before puberty has more street cred than you, it’s time to hang up the mic and call it a day.

Photo source: Kent Miller Studios

What’s your favorite thing to do when you’ve got lots and lots of time on your hands?

“[whispers] Oh that’s a nice one. I love to travel, but I really love to hang out with my Grandaughters downstairs. I’m on 10, they’re on 5. It’s not too difficult to find time when I’m done with my coffee. We are on another roll I tell you! I’m doing a lot of appearances. I’m on the road doing promotions or opening new stores. It’s a very busy time now, but I love it. I heard a great quote on the radio the other day; Mark Twain said, ’Make your vacation your vocation.’ Is that interesting? Or make your vocation your vacation. That’s a little harder to to. I felt, Old Marky and I, he must have been overworked. He must have been a workaholic. But I love what I’m doing.”

Photo source: Style.com

Your daughter, Lulu, werqed it on the runway last week. Is she pursuing modeling, or is that walk just for you?

“No, no, no, the show inspiration was of a voluptuous figure, which Lulu has always had and stood for. Last time she was on the runway was in 2000 when I did a show with the Playboy Bunnies. She was the best on that runway. She knows how to do [cups her hands a few inches from her breasts, gives a hunch]… She would never dream of modeling, she would have to loose 2/3 of her body weight. I dont know, maybe Victoria’s Secret? All the Victoria’s Secret models come off of my runway, because I let them be sexy, you know, flaunt it. And sure enough it’s easy to get them, then they’re scooped up by Victoria and you can’t get them anymore.”

Case in point: Candice Swanepoel 

What do your new timepieces tell us about you?

“What I love is that they always have stuff for young, my granddaughter sometimes. A skull with a bow in this watch. They go from kitty to grandma. From classic to cute. Twinkly to chic. I dont know, anyway. They’re great, beautifully made. Great weight, which is very important to me in a watch. I had lots of fun doing it, great company. I just really love them. The numbers are big, they have a real weight to them…I mean Frankie has me down. Frank, he owns the company… Frankie what’s your last name?”

We can forgive her unreliable memory so long as she continues to turn out the you-go-girliest pieces in the industry.

Photo source: Kent Miller Studios

Werq, Betsey, werq.

If you’ve got time, and lots of it, take a gander at our favorites:

- Noted girly mag aficionado, Simon Doonan, along with a smattering of other fashion people, pick their favorite photos from Playboy‘s storied history to celebrate the launch of their new iPlayboy app, The Playboy Commission. [Nowness]

- Kate Moss had to cut her globetrotting honeymoon short — no thanks to inconsiderate natural disasters — but at least she has a pair of fuck me — and you! — pumps to console her soles. [Fashionologie]

- If you’re walking by Houston and McDougal, 14th and University or 14th and 8th Avenue tonight around 9 p.m., you might catch Raquel Zimmermann being gritty for Alexander Wang. [Fashionista]

- Modelina, doing god’s work, has assembled a “dedicated model Twitter list,” so now you can #follow @Jess_Stam and @itsmeChanelIman to the ends of the Twitterverse. [Modelina]

A buffy Duffy body double?

- Speaking of altruistic endeavors, Styleite has delved balls-deep into the “Robert Duffy YouTube Stock Room Strip Down Incident” — Duffy’s-Undiesgate, if you will —  to reveal that it was all probably just a joke that no one got. Their smoking gun: Duffy’s allegedly buff guns. Styleite‘s not calling him fat, or anything, but…okay, they kind of are. [Styleite]

- Red carpet favorite Marchesa is hopping into less formal territory with its one-off Playboy Bunny costume design for the new Playboy Club opening in London June 4th. Using the original iconic costume design, Georgina Chapman and co. added “Marchesa’s signature details, such as hand draping and embroidery.” I better not see a forty-foot train of tulle cascading from that bunny tail. [Vogue]

- Anna Wintour parachuted into the J. Crew store on Fifth Ave to celebrate CFDA winner Billy Reid and the two designers who subsequently ate his dust, Prabal Gurung and Eddie Borgo.  All three designed capsule collections for the Crew; Reid’s seven piece collection is available online now through May with Gurung’s premiering in June and Borgo’s in July. [Fashionista]

- American Apparel sleaze, Dov Charney, wants to live the Hugh Hefner lifestyle: hopped up on so many ‘ludes and Viagra he won’t know when he’s coming or on who. [Styleite]

- The world’s most expensive shoe costs nearly $230,000 and is made of solid gold and over 2200 diamonds. That’s nothing, I’ve got the world’s most expensive Crocs:  $250, made of solid plastic and Cubic zirconia. It goes really well with my world’s most expensive velour tracksuit. [Telegraph]

- Noted Jew, Donna Karan, thinks John Galliano‘s anti-Semitic remarks were “”blown up out of proportion.”  Karan goes on to say that Galliano is “a wonderful designer, a brilliant designer, and he probably needs help and support right now.” Well, I already know of someone who’s on the help and support bandwagon. [The Cut]

- Remember when Matthew Williamson said that Kate Middleton “isn’t a fashion bunny” and “I don’t know why everyone in fashion is waiting to see what she wears. I’m, like, thinking: get over it.” Well, turns out he was just “misquoted”: “I was referring to the fact that I’d been asked about her three times previously in the same night so it was more that I was over the fact that I’d been asked repeatedly about her. I’m setting the record straight: I’m a big fan and I’m sure she’ll make an amazing choice [for her wedding dress].” Yeah, that record is about as straight as Elton John‘s Oscar party. [Fashionista]

Holly will be rated on the below categories, five being the highest and 1 being the lowest.

Fit: 5

Appropriateness: 4

Trendiness: 4

Styling: 5

Shoes: 4

Hair: 5

Makeup: 5

Pose: 5

Confidence: 4

Holly was always my least favorite Girl Next Door, but she’s definitely the classiest, even though she usually acted like a bitch on the show. She looks great in this dress, the hair and makeup isn’t too much and she’s working it for real.

In her memoir, Bunny Tales, Izabella St. James paints a portrait of carpets soiled by dog poop, Quaalude- and Viagra-induced sex with Hef and A-list celebrities and birthday cosmetic surgeries footed by the old man himself.

In describing sex with the quintessential playboy, St. James said “he just lay there like a dead fish.” That’s a bit insensitive. He’s not dead yet, after all. St. James goes on to explain:

“We often wondered why he did it at all. He must know deep down that it is just a show. But he is trying to live out this fantasy he has been selling to people since 1954. He wants to live up to the Playboy image he created and the expectations people have of him.”

Even more disturbing, if that’s at all possible, Jill Ann Spaulding reveals that Hef didn’t use condoms.

“There was no protection and no testing for sexually transmitted ­diseases.”

Gross.

After refusing to have sex with Hefner, Spaulding was “quickly dismissed” from the mansion. Put out or get out, lady.

I’m always wary over tell-all memoirs, because people are trying to sell books after all. It’s not surprising that the Playboy mansion would be totally skeevy. Charlie Sheen frequents it for a reason.

However, I’m taking this information with a grain of salt. And a vial of Valtrex.

LINK LOVE: Daily Mail

Hef, naturally, took his Twitter to announce the news, which is surprising because usually people his age have no idea what the Twitter is. Or the internets. Or, for that matter, a computer.

Hef’s two previous marriages — to Mildred Williams in 1959 and to Playmate Kimberly Conrad in 1989 — each lasted about ten years, so that bodes well for Crystal. Hef, on the other hand…well, he’ll hang in as long as he can.

Despite their 60 year age difference, Crystal maintains that her love is true and she  has no ulterior motive:

“I would say that I’m not after Hef for his money. I have my own career going.”

Well, it’s nice that she “would say” that. I would say that Hugh Hefner is the biggest pimp that ever walked this planet and that he’s too smart to not have her sign a pre-nup.

Congrats to the happy couple!

LINK LOVE: MTV News

First and foremost, who the hell knew that there was a Romanian version of Playboy. That is neither here nor there because Pamela Anderson sizzles for them regardless. I mean her body is absolutely ridiculous for a 43 year old woman. These shots are obviously styled with the 90′s in mind.  (Well if no one wore clothes in the 90′s) I can’t decide if my favorite is the one with the braces or the one poking fun at the sextape with Tommy Lee.

What’s your favorite?

Lara Stone for Playboy

via: fashionising

LINK LOVE:Lara Stone for Playboy
via: fashionising

Just in case you weren’t aware, Lara Stone is perfect. Playboy France were kind enough to remind us of this fact when they produced their June 2010 issue featuring a very sexy, very naked Lara. And they didn’t make it too easy for her either, they chose some challenging settings like hideous swirly carpet and a creepy looking wheelchair – but even those were no match for her. Suddenly bad carpets, ankle strappings and hospital robes seem oddly appealing.

Entire Article: Read it by clicking Lara Stone naked for French Playboy.

Related Pictures (10 in total): See them by clicking Lara Stone: Playboy July 2010 (NSFW) or read up on Fall 2010 fashion trends if you’re not keen on the pictures.

LINK LOVE:Lara Stone naked for French Playboy

The above is Tara Reid in the new issue of Playboy (you can see the NSFW images here), and the below photo is obviously what she really looks like. So WTF?!?!

Last time I checked Tara was missing a set of boobs!

LINK LOVE: Socialitelife

There are so many reasons why I love Uffie, and this video is just another reason why. We’re all familiar with the Playboy Mansion, but this is what I view the Dim Mak records party house as being like haha. Gorgeous girls, great music and amazing style!

Lindsay Lohan turned down nearly $1,000,000 to pose nude for Playboy, nearly double what she was offered to appear in 2008′s Playboy 55th Anniversary issue. Fine by me, who’d want to see that fire-crotch anyway? Actually…who hasn’t seen that fire-crotch already? Not again please.

Thanks ICYDK!

Kinda boring pics of Heidi almost ‘nude’ in Playboy…

Gallery: Cult

LINK: Egotastic

For those of you that weren’t aware, Heidi Montag had quite the interview with Playboy. Not a big surprise there. But what is surprising is what they talked about behind the scenes. When asked about her plastic surgery, both nose and boobs, not only did Heidi admit to having them done, but she expressed her hopes to have her boobs done again in the future! Why? She wants to make them bigger for Spencer. I guess I shouldn’t really be surprised, and by all means Heidi, if you want them done again then go for it, but do it for yourself, Spencer’s just not worth it.

LINKAGE: NY Daily News

The Louis Vuitton hairpieces worn by Natalia Vodianova in Vogue Russia give this shoot a vintage Playboy/oldschool Madonna feel.  I love her dark eye makeup and these bunny-like bows.  

SOURCE: Snailscans

GALLERY: SPREAD UM: Natalia Vodianova By Alasdair McLellan

Ooooo Aubrey, Giiiiirrrl, You Such A Natural Beauty and Stuff……

Today in Never-Ever land, somebody got airbrushed to the Motha McLovin T. The cover says it’s Aubrey but this lump of undefined silicon anime, doin it’s best Jessica Rabbit bit, couldn’t possibly be my sweet little church girl. I guess washing windshields at stop lights or goin to a temp agency to find a position of employment was out of the question. How do you go from multi-platinum girl group to servin up monkey fixins and sexy cakes in Playwhore? This is definitely not successful career planning We here as FashionINDIE frown upon such shady dealins.

Whomever let the little boy play with the photo shop software over there at the magazine needs a good shrapnel facial and a chemical peel with boiled tranny urine………I’m sorry, Extra Virgin Tranny Urine.

She looks like a bedazzled albino turd. It’s like RuPaul had too many of those microwaved pizza roll abominations and 2 hours later, after he calmed down from thinking he was having menstrual cramps, realized it was just a gut bubble, puckered and manured’ out God’s beloved that sits before you. Look at my angel all rouged and ready for a Kodak. DAMAGED indeed! Well I hope she at least got a box of Krispy Kremes out of it. I guess if it was a choice between suckin up to Diddly-Bops douchewater or playin Bingo with Hephner, I’d choose dry humps at the retirement home too. I love you so Aubrey……………..no, real talk, I really love you.

- Z’maji of HauteBlogXOXO

I’m only assuming she’s going to look somewhat like this for the March issue of Playboy, as she confirmed rumors of her being the next centerfold.

LINKAGE: Popcrunch

Thanks NY Mag!

Is this Lauren Conrad or Carmen Electra? Guess we’ll never know, due to the high amounts of photoshop.

Oh a side note, I want that playboy bunny garment (if you can call it that). I think it would go nicely with my Hugh Heffer blow up doll.

Thanks Scandalist for the pic

With magazines in a tailspin, it was only a matter of time before the big wigs at Hearst Publications started whoring their offspring off to the limp-dicked monsieurs of Paris.  Lydia Hearst is the latest casualty in the “look at my tits, wow this is empowering” movement that has swept through the pages of French vogue Playboy. 

Here’s a sneak peak at her lovely lady lumps.  We’ll get you the full spread when it’s available.

Playboy has just released this limited edition collection of tees designed by indie favorites like Daft Punk, Duran Duran, Hot Chip, and New Young Pony Club.

The shirts are worth their weight in cred points and are definitely worth checking out cause proceeds from the shirts benefit Rock the Vote.

You can shop the tees, which retail for $39 bucks at Collette and at Shopthebunny.com.