TWI-BASH: Twilight Cruise, Worst Idea Ever

Edited by Hillary Frazier

Attention Twilight fans and everyone who hates when I post bashes of Twilight:

They’re having a Twilight cruise. Yes, Forkes is a real place, and now you can really go there. And then you can go to Alaska, because apparently that’s what you do if you’re a vampire/crazed teenybopper who is overly obsessed with Twilight.

Before I start in in my opinion of this, I want you to know the details. You get in a boat with these ladies:

Second, you pay somewhere around $3000 to freeze your ass off in Alaska, only to get some ‘Q&A’ time with these guys:

Wait who was that second one? Who on earth is that? I don’t remember her being in Twilight, even though I saw it three times in theaters and twice on DVD (now you people can’t get mad at me for bashing, you know I’ve seen this movie almost as much as you have)

Wow. She looks really different. Now I may think that this Twilight thing was pretty cool if Kristen Stewart and/or Robert Pattinson were going to be there (I mean, if Robert Pattinson was going to be there, I would pay the $3000 and go, in a heartbeat), but why would I want to go on a cruise ship to a place that rains almost ever day, followed by a place that is below zero every day, and sometimes the sun doesn’t even come up, with SECONDARY characters of a movie.  Really, why?

I’m sorry Twilight fans, and I’m sorry Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene (see, you didn’t know their names either..I had to look it up), but I think that this cruise sounds like the WORST idea in the history of the earth. 

Just because I know that all of you don’t think it’s the worst idea, and in fact may think that me bashing Twilight for the third time this week is the worst idea in the history of the earth, you can learn more about this waste of money here

SOURCE: PopCrunch

WTF!?! 90% Of The People At The MTV Awards

Edited by Hillary Frazier

Instead of bashing you all separately, I decided to create a giant post after visiting the MTV website and realizing that so many celebrities have no fashion knowledge, at all. 

Miley Cyrus: Boring, the wardrobe in Hannah Montana The Movie was fabulous, why couldn’t you snag a dress from there? And wtf is going on with the front of that dress?

Lauren Conrad: You can really pull of that ‘California’ look, stick with that. You have a really good body, don’t hide it under that poufy skirt…and is that tie-dye, or is it just me?

Megan Fox: WTF is going on with your hair?! I’m not even going to comment on the tattoo, but her forehead is too big to wear her hair like that, which is completely beside the fact that that hairstyle looks like you forgot to wash the conditioner out of your hair.

Zac Efron: Get a haircut, hopefully something a bit like Link in Hairspray, you were hot in that movie.

JC Chasez: You almost had it, I really like this outfit, but the scarf? Really? It looks ridiculous, it doesn’t make sense..at all.

Miranda Cosgrove: I love you, I love iCarly, but that dress (and those shoes) do NOT work for you. Did you get this out of your mom’s closet?

Kirsten Stewart: I already bashed you today, I don’t care anymore

Robert Pattinson: You’re so attractive, but seriously, have you ever heard of an iron?

I’m sure I’ll get some hate comments for this huge bash, but seriously, you saw the pictures, and there were pages and pages more.  Seriously Hollywood, fire your stylists.

See the rest at MTV.com

BASH Things We Hate More Than Twilight

Edited by Saynt

1. Twilight New Moon. Yes, we hate Twilight New Moon more than Twilight.  How can we come to this realization without actually seeing the movie? Because we just saw the preview and that living Troll doll Kristen Stewart is still in it. Even worse, there are now bad CGI werewolves. So basically this movie is a teener-bopper version of Underworld without hotties like Kate Beckinsale in it to make it bearable to watch. Worse of all it will probably make a load of money making Robert Pattinson the richest twink in the world. For shame…

2. Robert Pattinson. Do you really have to ask why?

3. Jon & Kate Plus Eight. Wait, people actually waste their time watching a chick with bad hair and a dude with a bald spot deal with their 8 brats? How in the fluck is the entertainment?!? I mean, if there was at least a creepy uncle/priest or a recent sex offender released in their neighborhood, there might be some entertainment value as they freak the fuck out everytime one of their kids goes missing, but I just watched an episode and they basically spend their time playing at the park. Really people? I’d question anyone who watches this show who isn’t a midwest wife with no life. Seriously, there’s something completely wrong with you if you find this entertaining. It literally defines you as someone who is (a) desperate for children, (b) can’t stand your own kids or (c) derive pleasure from watching other peoples kids. All of them are pretty bad, so please just stop.

4. Beth Ditto. I imagine her smelling really, really bad. Does that make me a fatist? Maybe, but the chick insists on a diet that consists of processed deli meats, McDonald’s french fries, and hairy fish tacos. Probably gonna get hate mail for  this, but can we get a slightly thinner/less vomit enducing fat style icon? 

5. MTV 2009 Movie Awards. For being Twilight’s bitch.

6. Bust-a-Nut Facials. For $250 this salon in NYC will rub sperm on your face. Currently wondering if they accept donations. 

7. College Musical. You know it’s coming. Expect Efron to “experiment”.

8. “Accidentally” Leaked Celebrity Nude Photos. Rihanna, Cassie, Vanessa Hudgens. We get that is sucks that your boyfriend beats you/is old enough to be your dad/doesn’t know you exist but that’s no reason to go around taking badly lit naked photos of yourself. Jebus, ladies have some self respect and call Hefner. At least he’d pay you for shots of your no-no zone.  

9. Susan Boyle. Wow, talk about a total let down. The hottest woman on Youtube lost to a group of Jabberwocky biters. 

10. The Montag Monster. Another genetically altered mutant freak washed up on the shores of the Hamptons only this time it wants you to buy it’s album on iTunes.

IN CASE YOU CARE: Robert Pattinson Took His Shirt Off

Edited by Hillary Frazier

I’m a fan of Robert Pattinson, I’m fascinated by that disheveled hair and adorably handsome face. For some reason, I am really, really surprised that he has abs?  Maybe he’s been working out so he can kick some werewolf ass in the next Twilight movie?

SOURCE: Jezebel

BEFORE THEY HIT PUBERTY: Robert Pattinson

Edited by Marissa Moshell, Student

Before:

After:

Remember Robert Pattinson? The one that attracted the millions of screaming girls for his act as the all-time hottie in twilight? Well, it’s safe to say that this vampire wasn’t always as “studly” as most people think. Check out Mr. Pattinson before he hit puberty. Ah yes, such glory in those preteen years!

SNEAK PEAK: Twilight Boys for VMan

Edited by Rebecca Alexander

More outtakes from the Twilight cast, this time boys only!

SNEAK PEAK: Twilight Cast in Teen Vogue

Edited by Rebecca Alexander

Damian Finch: Fall 2009 Collection

Edited by Corey Moran

Damian Finch has been kind enough to bless us fellows with a collection that is sure to be amazing this upcoming Fall. The pieces are practical, trendy and unique, and rumor has it that even Robert Pattinson has been swooning over some of the pieces (not that anyoen really cares). The collection is rather impressive, and the teal pants above have definately peaked my interest.

Does anyone know who the young model in the gallery is? He seems younger than any model I have ever seen.

Gallery: Damian Finch: Fall 2009 Collection

Courtesy of: Men’s Rag

New Twilight Posters Look Like They Could Have Been Shot by Slimane

Edited by Saynt

Remember how god awful the first movie was? We do.

But if these posters are any indication, New Moon might shape out to be a bit less teenage angsty and a lot more “Let me take my shirt off and impress you with my vampiness”-y. Hard to take Pattinson seriously though after all that “He smells like sweaty balls” rumors that are going around the web. Ill dude, bathe.  

LINKAGE: 2 New Moon Posters.

QUOTABLES: Robert Pattinson

Edited by Andy Wass

-Robert Pattinson, explaining his magical, undead hair.

From DListed