I almost fainted dead away into my Malt-O-Meal and Easy Mac when I saw these pics of Sacha Baron Cohen or should I say “Bruno” doin the googley eyed fool, snap in a circle three times somebody. My poor innocent virgin eyes have been violated and I didn’t even use my Pay Pal account to pay for it this time. I haven’t been this disgusted since Fergie made hot mustard colored piss on stage in her guachos, this is not fashion Indiez! I’m all for people promoting there wares but we’ve clearly crossed over into unsavory territory…………..unsavory and stank!

I know who’s to blame, it’s that Bobby Trendy’s fault what with his platformed foot apparatuses and random chiffon scraps, reprobate! Let’s pour out a little liquor for my homiez that will die when they take a look at these pale gamey clenched cakes. I hope Cohen catches a glittery rash of that swine ‘fever’ all up and down his taint for this foolishness and I hope it really, really buuuuurrrrnnnsss. I really don’t appreciate turning on my computer and gettin a face full of bedazzled man buns, this ain’t Chelsea!

I’m over the funny factor of Bruno, I’m sorry, but I’m over it. I would have rather had Ed Westwick on the cover. Just saying, I think this spread is gross and disturbing. Check out the rest of the spread on Cult.

A few Bruno quotes from the mag:

Dear Brüno, how can I get some “Efron hair”? Or at least some “Pattinson hair”? Ich vouldn’t bother getting a Zac Efron hairstyle right now, cos ich am about to change mine and he’s certain to copy me again. In terms of grooming, ze only thing he hasn’t copied me with ist getting his ballensack pierced— vell, he hadn’t had it done ze last time ich saw him.

Dear Brüno, what do you sleep in? In reality, ich sleep in a seaweed body wrap
under a Zac Posen Navy-Cut Nightshirt. In mein dreams, ich sleep naked in a giant reed basket drifting slowly down ze Nile, cradled in ze arms of Daniel Radcliffe.

Dear Brüno, is it okay to “manscape” down there? It’s more zan okay; it is most essential. Be careful if you do it yourself, though—yesterday ich tried to self-wax mein arschenhaller
und glued meinself to ze bed. Manscaping ist important, but not as crucial as getting regular anal bleaching. If Brüno didn’t get his schmutziger arschenhaller bleached twice a month, his shtinker vould resemble Dizzy Gillespie during a trumpet solo. In Austria anal bleaching ist considered so important zat it’s paid for by ze state. In fact, you cannot run for office if you don’t have a vhite arschwitz. Indeed, ex-chancellor Kurt Waldheim vas elected on ze back of a prishtine anus. Zere are added benefits to getting ze bleaching—on my last session, mein beautician, Klaus, found ze long-lost head of a David Beckham action figure up zere.

Supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio and Sacha Baron Cohen’s character Bruno are styled based on the famous 80’s Versace ad campaign for the July 2009 cover of UK’s Marie Claire.

Sacha Baron Cohen continues his reign of terror in Paris when he decided to get penetrate Jean Charles de Castelbajac’s fashion show and did this…

[H]e whipped out a fold out chair, placed it in front of the front rowers and started writing love letters to girls in the audience. Then he jumped on stage shouting into his mobile phone and walked down the catwalk with the last model.

He was also spotted sucking on tampons during Stella McCartney’s show.

Bruno better have some amazing editing cause I can’t imagine any of this being funny if everyone knows who this Cohen is. I almost feel like Borat was one movie that just can’t be imitated and the humor of the “outsider interacting with a strange world” thing isn’t going to get the same laughs twice.

Thanks to The Cut for pointing this out…

For the last six months or so, Sacha Baron Cohen and his alter-ego Bruno have been filming all around the country terrorizing the unknowing masses. So it’s no surprise that the fashionable Austrian showed up at Milan Fashion Week to terrorize the unknowing fashion masses. The above image is Bruno crashing the Agatha Ruiz de la Prada fashion show.

Well last night photographer Greg Kessler caught Cohen outside the Versace show unable to get in. Bruno was dressed in all McQueen, naturally. Kessler reports that Bruno was seen frantically making phone calls and crying into his mobile phone trying to get into the show while be

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