[Towleroad]

The offensive card in question

- Getting gay married just got super convenient. And kinda trashy…er. [Refinery29]

- Alexander McQueen left the majority of his $26 million estate to charity, but not without providing for his loved ones: that includes $410,000 to each of his three sisters and two brothers; $82,000 each to his housekeeper, godson, nephews and nieces; and another $82,000 to his dogs. Those nephews and nieces probably should have paid a few more visits to Uncle Alex. Or at least peed on his rug. [Fashionologie]

Hillary Clinton getting the big picture in Rick Owens.

Fierce Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama telling it like it is in Proenza Schouler. What, no McQueen this time?

Doonan decided former Prime Minister of Ukraine Yulia Tymoshenko needed more Dior Haute Couture in her life. As does everyone.

Susie Bubble wants Home Secretary of the United Kingdom, Theresa May, bubbling up in Versus.

Though she hardly needs the help, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy gets reworked in Stella McCartney. Only gripe, where’s the goddamn heel?

Samantha Cameron, wife of the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, looking felicitous in Felicity Brown.

Former French Presidential candidate Segolene Royal going to werq in Dries Van Noten.

Nicola Formichetti threw First Lady of Cameroon and all-around fabulous black lady Chantal Biya in some Mugler. That heel is presumably also 24 inches.

Queen Rania of Jordan gets short and flirty in Erdem. Meanwhile, she’s a queen, for Elizabeth II‘s sake, not a starlet going commando at a film premiere.

Last, and certainly least, Sarah Palin, looking chic on her way to ruin what’s left of America in Christopher Kane. I can hear her cackling even through this illustration.

What do you think of these politically-charged high fashion makeovers? Personally, I think Hillary looks the best out of all of them —  giving goddess realness while sacrificing none of the power she’s been harnessing in those pantsuits over the last decade or so.

Link Love: Vogue UK

“It is clear that the FDA needs to take decisive action. An investigation by the Environmental Working Group revealed the FDA has received 47 complaints from salon workers and clients who experience adverse reactions and injuries (including hair loss, blisters, burning eyes, noses and throats, headaches and vomiting) as the result of giving or receiving hair straightening treatments.”

Of all the things Congress can agree on, I’m glad it’s the use of embalming fluid in hair treatments. Meanwhile, I think Sarah Palin just found her campaign platform. Palin-Trump ’12! Armageddon shortly afterwards! [Beauty High]

- Everyone seems to think that Riccardo Tisci has been confirmed as Dior’s new creative director — this confirmation hasn’t come directly from Dior, but then again a tweet from backstage at a Katy Perry concert is all the proof I need. [The Cut]

- More images from Blake Lively‘s Chanel purse ad campaign have been released along with behind the scene footage of her smiling sweetly at Karl Lagerfeld. One can only assume this joy was proceeded by the Kaiser devouring the Gossip Girl‘s essence. [Fashionista]

- Lady Gaga‘s eau de semen-blood-and-cheap hooker perfume just got some serious — and seriously gross — competition. [Refinery29]

- Chanel Iman is a workaholic. I love this new breed of supermodel, but I miss the days when supers were every other kind of “-aholic.” [W Editor's Blog]

- Mariah Carey‘s baby shower was a veritable “Who’s That?” of Hollywood also-rans, featuring Penny Marshall, Lorraine Bracco, Randy Jackson, Brett Ratner and Piers Morgan. And to top it off, her fans sent her a book of well wishes entitled “Always Be My Babies.” Is it too early to reserve two rooms in Betty Ford for the twins? [Life & Style]

- Calling the Emmys, get ready to hurl a trophy at Jules Moore’s impeccable face. The Oscar-nominee will play Sarah Palin in the HBO film Game Change, based on the book of the same name that chronicled the 2008 presidential election. Who else wants Betty White to play McCain? [Deadline]

An alleged “insider” tells Popeater:

“Her ego is out of control at this point. Ever since Dancing With the Stars, and the fact that she appeared on more consecutive covers of US Weekly than any celebrity ever, she thinks that she has what it takes to run for office.”

This insider sounds suspiciously like Kate Gosselin, or at least her agent, who, I imagine, also doubles as her weekend nanny. Was it really necessary to mention that DWtS debacle or that “prestigious” honor of “gracing” so many Us Weekly covers.

Especially since those covers document her continuing downward spiral from dumpy housewife to an egomaniac with cheap extensions that bafflingly cost $7000:

Kate doesn’t have the qualifications, the brains or –  let’s face it – the likeability to run for office. So what could possibly make her think that politics is a viable option?

Hmm…perhaps this little tidbit from a “friend” of Kate holds some answers:

“After meeting and spending time with Sarah, Kate realized that if she could run for office then so could Kate.”

I don’t know who should be more offended here. Sarah, for Kate insinuating that she is basically an idiot. Or Kate, for not realizing that her own idiocy could take her as far as a Vice Presidential nomination when she’s been laboring away with 8 kids on basic cable.

What a waste of a perfectly good, semi-functioning, badly-dyed brain.

LINK LOVE: Popeater

The two set out for the wilderness of Alaska to film an episode of Sarah’s reality show titled…wait for it…Sarah Palin’s Alaska on TLC.

Didn’t TLC used to be about learning, or something? I mean, it does stand for The Learning Channel. The only thing I’ve learned from it of late is that watching TLC is an awful idea.

Anygay, Kate even strapped her eight little  Gosselins to her underbelly and dragged them along. Not as hearty, rootin’, or tootin’ as Sarah, though, Kate started to cry from hunger and cold.

A ranger warned them about bears, but sadly, neither Kate nor Sarah were eaten by an ornery grizzly, thus ridding the world of two unnecessary evils.

LINK LOVE: Daily Mail

Bristol Palin, the Ma Barkey of the Palin Clan?

There’s something fishy going on here. My guess is that the unexpected news of the pending nuptials between Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston is really just a ruse and not even true. The whole story is a publicity scam generated out of Sarah Palin’s office. Well, seeing that her publicist is Bristol Palin, BSMP, LLC, the idea was to show the world just how forgiving and generous Sarah Palin is. And given the sensitive, personal nature of this matter, Sarah will come off as a magnanimous force of nature, hence a great candidate for the Presidency in 2012. Here’s how it went down:

INT. PALIN HOME OFFICE / WASILLA – DAY

SARAH: (Wringing dish towel) These friggen Tea Baggers are driving me to drink.
BRISTOL: Yeah, I see what you mean. I leave your side for a fashion photo shoot in New York City and one little party and this is who you cozy up to? You can’t be left alone for one minute?
SARAH: What am I going to do? These nut bags are dragging down my Q rating.
BRISTOL: Look, I am not the head of my own PR firm for nothing. I’ll figure something out.
SARAH: Well, hurry up. Barack Obama and I are quickly becoming the laughing stocks of politics. And I’ll be damned if I let Hillary Clinton waltz into the top spot.
BRISTOL: Oh Mother, stop being so paranoid. (Beat, light bulb) I got it. You won’t like it, but it is a doozy.
SARAH: I’m desperate, shoot.
BRISTOL: Well, what were you thinking with that prayer for the oil spill. Yikes.
SARAH: Listen young lady…
BRISTOL: I’ll marry Levi.
SARAH: That’s ridiculous. I’d rather become a Democrat.
BRISTOL: No, hear me out. We will stage a secret rekindling of our romance, announce it to a tabloid, and not tell you first. Total betrayal.
SARAH: That’s disgusting. I love it.
BRISTOL: You will be the unsuspecting victim that any parent in the same situation would be mortified. You and Daddy with get millions of sympathy votes beyond.
TODD: Do I get to pose nude for Playgirl, punkin?
BRISTOL: Oh, daddy, please. (Scratches head) Hmmm, we’ll make that Plan B.
SARAH: But darlin’, I can not stand that little pervert.
BRISTOL: Oh, Ma, what mother actually likes her son-in-law?
TODD: Yup, she’s got a point there.
SARAH: (Winks) Alright, let’s do it.

Seems like Bristol Palin has turned out to be the smarty pants of the Palin clan. Come on…she became the first out of wedlock, teenage mother to serve as spokes-model for abstinence…an Emperor’s New Clothes situation like no one’s business. She has proven to be a PR maven at the ripe old age of nineteen. When I was her age, I was already on my third addiction.

LINK LOVE:Punking Sarah Palin

The answer to Barack Obama's prayers. Turn the Gulf of Mexico into the Fountain of Youth.

There is little I can say about the catastrophe that is under way in the Gulf of Mexico, besides how upsetting it is. Am I furious at British Petroleum? Of course, AND because I am not Sarah Palin…who is surprisingly silent at this time. Am I going to sit here and complain about Barack Obama? You betcha. But only for a minute, because it was not his fault that this happened. It is his lame, passive response that has me up in arms. And where is Michelle, besides on the pages of every style blog? She needs to get her Wellies on and march down to Louisiana. Barack Obama now has a huge cross to bear for his George Bush-ian response to this tragedy. By the way, where was David Axelrod, who would shove Obama into the glare of the media ad nauseum in the past?

Rather than join all the bloviators and newly established experts that are creeping out of the woodwork to fill hours of cable airtime, I’d rather be on the side of making positive suggestions to help turn this otherwise horrendous situation into a possible good thing. So here is my perfect world solution. Take all that oil and mix it up with these great ingredients:

Mineral Oil, Water (Aqua), Beeswax, Paraffin, Cocoa (Thoebroma Cacao) Butter, Sodium Borate, Grape Seed (Vitis Vinifera) Extract, Elastin, Collagen, Panthenol, Stearyl Alcohol, Wheat (Triticum Vulgare) Germ Oil, Tocopherol (Vitamin E), Vegetable Oil, Retinyl Palmitate, Ergocalciferol (Vitamin A & D), Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Diazolidinyl Urea, Propylene Glycol, Methylparaben, Propylparaben, Fragrance (Parfum).

These are the elements in Queen Helene Grape Seed Extract Skin Firming Cream, the greatest product ever, which for some reason has been discontinued by Para Laboratories. Now, I may not be a scientist or anything, but that sludgy oil looks like it could do wonders to dry skin. Based on that, if we infuse these other lovely ingredients and you just might have an ocean full of youth enhancing moisturizer. Not only that, but you are coupled with the power of the sea, like Ahava, a popular Israeli skin care line that touts the benefits of the Dead Sea and other such hullabaloo. Now, if you don’t think every woman…and queen…on Earth wouldn’t line up to pay big bucks just to swim in some of that newly enhanced Youth Muck (working title) sludge…well…think again. We are talking about turning this whole situation around by promoting this unnatural disaster as the new fountain of youth. Do you realize the amount of spas that can be opened along the mouth of the Gulf? Move over French Riviera. OK, so the shrimpers lose their livelihood, but hey, they can become spa workers and masseurs. They can use their shrimp boats to take groups of ladies who lunch on day tours of the Youth Muck. Sure, it sounds crazy, but so does golf balls and hair clumps in the hopes of clogging that sucker.

VIEW ORIGINAL POST:Oil Of Oy-Vey

After weathering scrutiny as a pregnant teenager during her mother’s vice-presidential campaign, Bristol Palin is forging her own path as an independent single mother. Harper’s Bazaar captures an intimate family scene with Bristol and her son, Tripp, in a charming tea party-themed fashion spread, which showcases gowns by Carolina Herrera, Lanvin, Isaac Mizrahi, and Michael Kors.

In the interview, she opens up about her new life as a working single mom and more.

On being pregnant during the 2008 presidential campaign: “It’s not like we all sat down and were like, ‘Alright, here’s the birds and the bees.’ Truly, my parents just assumed that I wasn’t doing anything. And it was a shock for us all.”

“It was kind of humiliating. . .Great, I’m 17 years old, I’m 40 pounds overweight with a big belly on me, all my friends are at school watching this on the news. This kind of sucks.”

On taking responsibility as a working single mother (Bristol works as a medical assistant, serves as an ambassador for Candie’s foundation, and fully supports herself and her baby): “I’m on my own. I’m really proud of it. I’m a hard worker.” “I don’t have time for friends or anything like that. It’s just like, Right, crap, there is a hockey game tonight that I want to go to but I can’t. Or, I do have to go to work today, because I’ve got bills to pay.”

On dating: Bristol is not seeing anyone at the moment: “I’m in no rush. One day I’ll find a nice guy.”

On her son, Tripp: “I thought I would be somewhere warm at college with my friends, but that was definitely not possible with having Tripp. I love my baby more than anything. He’s like a Gerber baby. He’s the cutest baby in the whole world…I just want Tripp to be happy and healthy.”

Sarah Palin on her daughter, Bristol: “We’re very proud of her for taking responsibility. It’s not an easy road, but it’s the right road. Decisions were made, and we can’t unwind those decisions. Consequences are being dealt with. I’m sincerely proud of her.”

The issue hits newsstands June 1st

Photo Credit: Danielle Levitt

The problem with the Internet is that when awesome images like this appear, you automatically wonder if it’s been Photoshopped. I’m not sure either way, but reportedly this was snapped in Reno on Tuesday.  Oops!

Image from Newsweek.

This year, show your support for the only Vice Presidential candidate you’d want to see in a bikini.  Sarah Palin finally gets some fashionable credit for sparking the most unwearable, yet hilarious, Halloween costume of the year. Grab a rifle and a pack of Coors Light and you’ve go the perfect Sarah Palin costume, without dressing like Tina Fey. Maverick!

Thanks Gawker for posting this photo.

You can train a pit bull to pick up a newspaper.

Come one Sarah, you couldn’t give a “shout out” to Fashion Indie…

p.s. totally know this is an old story now, but just read the joke this morning.

Nah, just joking. It’s just the closest thing we’ll ever see to it.

Diddy attempts to take us back to the late nineties with his horrible Blair Witch impersonation. The mogul figured he’d share with all of us his “fear” of Sarah Palin by reenacting his favorite scene from the overhyped shaky camera shitfest. Seriously dude, I’m more scared of the fact that you think it’s right to subject your minions to such an over remixed pop reference. You couldn’t do a Cloverfield-stye video and have Sarah Palin step in for the monster terrorizing New York. Or at least a Saw-reference as that’s the only “scary” movie that has had some staying power.

Poor attempt at parody dude, and where the hell is Cassie? If I was marrying an MySpace hip hop hottie I wouldn’t be alone in my bed diddling with my Final Cut Pro, if you know what I mean.

Plus dude, the Muppets did it better…