Beyonce will be gracing the cover of Vogue’s upcoming Shape Issue. The diva was photographed by Mario Testino. The shots of her are boring as fuck, with no sign of Sasha Fierce anywhere, but what can you do when you’re stuck between the pages of the one issue of Vogue that yearly attempts to talk about fatties and excercise.

LINKAGE: Beyoncé’s Shape Issue Vogue April 2009

Well Indies, we’ve come to the end of this gaping maw of a butthole we call 2008. As the resident douchecack, I felt I needed to violate you one last time like R Kelly at a Girl Scouts sleepover before we cross over into 09′. This year has been bitter sweet hasn’t it my Fashionophiles?

We got our 1st black president but we lost a hot, stacked soccer mom with power suits that made Hilary Clinton’s snicker doodle implode with jealousy.

Britney brought sexy back but Amy CrackHouse started looking like something out of Thriller.

Christian Siriano released magnificent product, taking his spot as a candidate for fashion’s future but this season’s Project Runway sucked man-berriez like eager back alley prostitwats.

Fashion Indie’s Fashion Week Brooklyn was the toast of New York but Marc Jacobs continued to flash bystanders that malnourished little peen from under his crushed velvet man skirt………..NYPD did nothing, PIGS!

Daniel Saynt and Rebecca Alexander joined in matrimony, filling the world with love and beauteously raunchy married relations but Spencer and Heidi threatened us with the possibility of producing offspring, filling the world with fear and horror, sending some into suicidal fits of madness.

Sasha Fierce killed in Grace Jonesesque chic but made stinky poo glitter all over music.

Kanye West pushed the limits of urban fashion but Kanye West pushed the limits of urban fashion…………..and yes he’s still ‘IGNANT’, his brain’s still in his ass!

Fashion Indie got more awesome-er but Annie Wintour is still in power devouring the souls of our young, all whilst enjoying high tea.

And lastly but most importantly, I’ve never been more sexifull…………Put A Ring On It!

See ya on the other side Indies

- Z’maji of HauteBlogXOXO