Leave the beer at home, kids. This is grown-folk drinking:

1. The Sidecar – Ditch your preferred mode of conveyance and hop in a Sidecar then floor it to DrunkTown, USA;  population: everyone cool.

2. Tom Collins - I hear Tom Collins is related to Joan Collins, who, if she were a drink, would probably bitch slap you into a pool by the end of the night.

3. Old Fashioned – As an old-fashioned kind of girl, I like an old-fashioned kind of drink. And when I’m drinking my old-fashioned drink, I like to wax nostalgic of my days as a jazz baby and Ziegfield girl. Come on everybody, let’s Charleston like it’s 1929!

4. Martini – The ultimate in sophistication, martinis evoke the spirit of Manhattan society when ladies wore mink stoles and men wore tails…and also when blacks and Jews weren’t allowed in nightclubs. Hey, I’m not saying it was all shits and giggles.

5. Henry C. Ramos’s Gin Fizz - I don’t know or care who this Henry C. Ramos is, but apparently the “longer you shake [his] cocktail, the frothier it gets.”

That’s what she said.

6. Whiskey Sour - Now this is a gentleman’s drink. The kind of gentleman who may sleep with whores, but treats them like ladies.

2 oz. whiskey
2 tbsp. fresh lemon juice
2–3 tsp. sugar
3–4 ice cubes
Orange slice
Maraschino cherry

7. Fur Collar – I think all drinks should be named after fabulous fashion pieces. Maybe next year I’ll work on creating my own sartorial potables: the Sequined Pantsuit; the Tranny Heel; the The Drop-Crotch…which can have several connotations.

1 oz. vodka
1 oz. apricot brandy or liqueur, preferably
Rothman & Winter Orchard apricot liqueur
1 oz. freshly squeezed orange juice

8. Manhattan Noonday - Who doesn’t love a nooner?

1 1/2 oz. bourbon
1 oz. sweet (Italian) vermouth
1 dash Angostura bitters
1 dash simple syrup
1 maraschino cherry

9. Kentucky Club Margarita – This ain’t your $3 frozen margarita from Benny’s Burritos. Which saddens me a little since I love getting those free bowls of chips and salsa.

1 lime wedge
Kosher salt, to taste
1 1?2 oz. silver tequila
3?4 oz. freshly squeezed
lime juice
1?2 oz. Cointreau

10. Dirty Shirley - The Shirley Temple is a classic virgin cocktail, but all virgins need to bust that maraschino cherry eventually. Add a bit of vodka and Shirley Temple suddenly turns into Shirley MacLaine, circa her Rat Pack heyday when she was knockin’ ‘em back with Frank, Dino and Sammy.

LINK LOVE: Saveur

Shirley MacLaine at the "Coco Chanel" premier.

ABC News correspondent Cynthia McFadden discusses the role of Coco with Shirley MacLaine.

Last night marked the world premier of Lifetime’s upcoming presentation, “Coco Chanel,” the story of the troubles and triumphs of an icon in fashion history. Joseph Urban Theatre housed the event, filling hundreds of seats with some of the fashion industry’s most crucial players.

As in any event, the evening kicked off with a social event for guests to eat, drink and be merry. Following the hors-d’oeuvres was an interview with ABC’s own Cynthia McFadden and Academy Award winning actress, Shirley MacLaine. MacLaine humorously commented on her experience playing the infamous cavalier, Coco Chanel, and left the guests in stitches over her farewell: “Goodnight, enjoy the bitch.”

The film itself was a bit of a letdown in comparison to MacLaine’s enchanting description of the role. The audience expected scenes filled with dazzling garments, couture fashion and the industry’s drama. What they got, however, was cliche love scenes in the snow, awful French accents and sappy quotes about determination. Sorry Coco, but I think what we wanted was a little more of your couture fashion and a little less of your relationship passion!

 On a lighter note, Shirley MacLaine performed phenomenally as the wicked fashion witch and stirred constant laughter with her sarcasm and believable arrogance.

“Coco Chanel,” starring Shirley MacLaine, premiers on Lifetime on September 13, 2008 8:00ET. If you don’t mind a bit of sap and want to journey through the life this fashion icon, you and your television have got a date!

Thanks Zimbio!