Reality television — aside from heralding the downfall of Western civilization — is a booming market with an insatiable audience hungry for more fights, more breakdowns, more thrown glasses and flipped tables and more inevitable trips to rehab. Therefore American Media Inc. — the publisher of such prestigious titles as The National Enquirer, Star and OK! — has tapped into that hunger with Reality Weekly. Hitting newsstands the first week in January, the tabloid sells for a paltry $1.79;  justly earning the slogan “Less money/More fun!”

Sidebar, that was originally the tagline for The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

RW‘s editor, Richard Spencer — who also pulls double duty as the editor of OK! — extols the virtues of reality stars and their lack of virtue when it comes to any sort of discretion: “[Y]ou can’t keep them away. It’s always ‘Come to my wedding!’ or ‘I just redid my baby’s room. Want to see it?’ ” Whereas the stars love the constant exposure, the producers of the show love the free promotion.

When approached by American Media about Reality Weekly,  Simon Cowell – noted wearer of tight T-shirts and producer of America’s Got Talent — said: “Why hasn’t anyone done this before?” Off-hand, I would say integrity, but considering the nature of the tabloid industry, that can’t be right.

With features such as “Biggest Fights of the Week,” “Hottest Shots of the Week” (in reference to bikini shots) and a format that — according to Spencer — “you don’t even have to read to know what’s going on,” Reality Weekly is destined to be extended beyond its 13-week test period.  And America is destined to descend further into cultural despair.

Now excuse me while I catch up on my Teen Mom reruns. [NYT]

The idea was that of madame editrix, Anna Wintour, who is secretly hilarious — in that incredibly dry and mocking British way:

I had to read the e-mail from the editor in chief several times to be quite sure. There, buried like a time bomb in a bouquet, was this chilling sentence: “I have signed you up to compete in The X Factor…You can sing,” says Anna…”This will be easy for you.” Her enthusiasm buoys me along, until a moment over dinner at the Metropolitan Opera…when she insouciantly announces that she is, in fact, completely tone deaf.  

Months of vocal training along with a word or two of advice from Liza Miinnelli :

“Just kinda talk through it and then sing the last bit real pretty, so that’s what they’ll remember,” she counseled, doing just that by way of example. “And remember to sing every song as if it’s the last time you are ever going to sing it!”*

And Bowles traveled to Newark, NJ — which was surprisingly the biggest indignity of the entire production — to take the stage.

Under the guise of Leo Mercuré (a character from a Noël Coward play, natch) — a  hairdresser who “once gave Anna Wintour a blow-out” —  Bowles crooned out a “hip-swinging” rendition of  Britney Spears‘ classic ode to lost innocence, “Oops!…I Did It Again” to the delight of the judges and a studio audience of 4,000 vultures.

Sadly, Bowles did not make it to the next stage of competition, but he was at least spared Cowell’s trademark brutality and Paula Abdul even said she wanted to hang out with him. And really, isn’t the prospect of doing karaoke with that glorious train-wreck to “Opposites Attract” reward enough? [Vogue]

*Which for Liza, it very well may be.

Lady Gaga earned $90 million over the last year, which is pocket change compared to O’s $290 million, but the deciding factor was the Lady’s social media presence.

With 32 million Facebook friends, 10 million Twitter followers and 1 million digital downloads of “Born This Way” in 5 days, it’s Gaga’s world and we’re all just living in it.

She had better watch out, however, as Justin Bieber is nipping at her tranny heels. The 17-year-old pop punk netted $53 million last year and dances his way to a debut on the list at the #3 position.

Rounding out the Top 10 are Broadway babies U2, Elton John, professional philanderer Tiger Woods, “musician” Taylor Swift, Bon Jovi, loveable curmudgeon Simon Cowell and baller/shotcaller LeBron James, thus proving that someone actually still cares about U2, Elton John and Bon Jovi.

Meanwhile, on the fashion front, only 3 models made the list: Gisele (#60), Heidi Klum (#83) and Kate Moss ($94).

Though this list is kind of arbitrary — earnings are based on pre-tax income and don’t include management/agent fees — one cannot deny the global phenomenon that is Lady Gaga. Born This Way drops this Monday and is poised to be the biggest album of the year — so who’s already bootlegged it? [Forbes]

Everyone and their post-partum depressed mother hovered on down to Chicago’s United Center for the filming of Surprise Oprah! A Farewell Spectacular — her two penultimate shows before the Apocalypse finale May 25th.

Oprah, through forced laughter: "Who the hell let you in here?"

Tom Hanks, noted maniac Tom Cruise, noted maniac Madonna, Dakota Fanning, Halle Berry, noted coma victim Katie Holmes, scissor sisters Queen Latifah and Rosie O’Donnell, the Pinkett-Smiths and BFFs Gayle King and Maria Shriver — who had a brave face put on for her last minute as her husband had just admitted that in addition to iron he was pumping the help — all showed up to “surprise” and pay tribute to their queen.

Sidebar: Oprah is omniscient, like all deities, so there was no pulling the wool over those bag-ridden eyes.

Madonna: "I can barely get my arms around you!"/ Oprah: "Keep trying."

Surprise performers included Beyoncé (who had to perform “Run the World (Girls)” twice at the behest of producers), Patti LaBelle and Josh Groban (“Over the Rainbow”), Stevie Wonder and Jamie Foxx (“Isn’t She Lovely,” and Stevie even wrote a new song for Oprah that will no doubt be adopted as our national anthem), as well as Kristin Chenoweth, Alicia Keys, Usher and another queen in her own right, Aretha Franklin, who took everyone to church with “Amazing Grace.”

Simon Cowell, openly bored.

Someone even let Stedman out of his cage to make a little speech!

And of course what tribute to Oprah would be complete without national treasure and global renaissance woman Dr. Maya Angelou? The 83-year-old offered up a poem to honor O. Luckily a box of tissues was on hand for each audience member, tucked knowingly under their seats.

Oprah clearly doesn’t fuck around and considering these were her second and third-to-last shows, I can only imagine what the final episode will  be: disaster.

Link Love: Us Weekly / Photos: Socialite Life

Oprah, through forced laughter: "Who the hell let you in here?"

CHICAGO, IL - MAY 17: Oprah Winfrey and Madonna attend Surprise Oprah! A Farewell Spectacular at the United Center on May 17, 2011 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Timothy Hiatt/FilmMagic)

Madonna: "I can barely get my arms around you!"/ Oprah: "Keep trying."

CHICAGO, IL - MAY 17: Simon Cowell, Jackie Evancho, Oprah, Will Smith, Usher and Tom Cruise attend Surprise Oprah! A Farewell Spectacular at the United Center on May 17, 2011 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Daniel Boczarski/Getty Images)

Simon Cowell, openly bored.

With a number of celebrities vying for a spot as judge on the next season of “American Idol” it seems only right that Nick Cannon would endorse his wife, singer Mariah Carey, for the position. In an interview with MTV News Cannon revealed that he’s all for starting an “Idol” campaign for his wife. “I don’t know if she has enough time, though, but if they could work with her schedule, I know she would love to do ‘Idol,’” Cannon explained to MTV. “Let’s start the campaign!” Cannon, who currently serves as the host of “America’s Got Talent,” also spoke on how Simon Cowell leaving “Idol” will change the dynamics of the show. “Simon Cowell was the anchor of the show. And when he stepped out, it’s like, now what? But as long as Ryan Seacrest and Randy Jackson stick around, I’m watching,” said Cannon.

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The company is supposedly making its debut in a few weeks, but no one really has an idea of what that even means…

Thoughts?

SOURCE: Elle

Hey hipsters!

Think twice this morning before you put on that deep-V American Apparel tee…!

From INO.