STREET ZEROES: This Pinata is Too Legit to Quit

Edited by Saynt

You know how sometimes you go through your parents old photos and notice one horrific outfit which just calls back to that time period like platform shoes on dad or headbands and leg warmers on mom, we’ll in twenty years it’ll be photos like this that make our future children happy they have a better grasp on timeless  style.

It’s okay to laugh, there’s a 90% chance this jacket comes with an attitude as obnoxiously annoying as Micheal Kors on Project Runway.

STREET ZERO: God Bless The USA, And Swine Flu

Edited by Hillary Frazier

I’m a happy tourist in the USA with my American flag shorts and my flip flops…but I’m also wearing a Public Enemy shirt so maybe I’m not a tourist because I don’t want people thinking I’m a terrorist…so maybe I’m just having a good time…but I’m also wearing a SARS/Swine Flu mask and that is NOT a good time…wait, I’m confused!!! Are those buttons on my do-rag?

STREET ZEROES: My Sister Is Stalking Verizon Customers RIGHT NOW

Edited by Hillary Frazier

I am now about to go on a rant about how much I don’t like the Midwest:

My sister is currently texting me with live updates of her trip to the Verizon store in Ann Arbor.  This further explains why my sister and I are the same person:

“Hot pink dollar store flip flops, white sweat pant shorts up the butt. One of those initial purses from Claire’s (you can see it better in the second pic), Brooklyn USA tank, having a conversation about tanning and more. Oh, and fake Oakley sunglasses. And Cosmo in her purse.”

I couldn’t believe this was true..but it gets better

“Well I’m like fifth in line and it’s hilarious. I thought you’d enjoy. Oh now she’s discussing what shampoo to use. Pulled out a notebook to record ‘big sexy hair.’ Classy”

I conclude, Michigan people not only lack style, but they find themselves thinking that they are in tune to what’s ‘fashionable’ or ‘in right now.’  You can bash and hate me all you want, but I have lived here for twenty one years. I know what’s going on.

Another update:

“Holy crap! Another lady in here: Crocs, khaki capris, red baggy tee with what appears to be a huge drool spot, frizzy hair. You would hate it here. Or die.”

And I would like to close with:

“Gold pants. The lady next to me has a bruised swollen face from plastic surgery. This place is insane. Girl in front of me in an all black dressy outfit, brown purse, and white Nike grandma walking shoes.”

Rescue me. Rescue me now.

STREET ZEROES: The Notorious Passout Girl

Edited by Corey Moran

Ah the infamous girl who passes out at the concert before the second performer hits the stage. It’ quite obvious at events like this who the real party goers are. Mental notes people, by all means get your money’s worth at open bar, but be careful of the infamous snowball effect. Clearly this girl found herself at amateur hour tonight. Oh well, you’ll learn!

STREET ZEROES: Oh. My. Gosh.

Edited by Hillary Frazier

There are so many things wrong about this photo. The acid wash, the belly chain, the clear bra straps, the open back shirt, the overly, overly cheap, bedazzled purse. EW.

SOURCE: Miss Dior Couture

THE TEN: Fashion Trends We Hope Remain In The Grave

Edited by Hillary Frazier

Everyone knows trends find a way of phasing themselves back in (we’ve been going through a severe 90s grunge comeback for awhile now), but there’s a few trends that we hope never make it back to life (although some of them are trying desperately, or maybe already have):

1. Thong leotards over biker shorts- Wasn’t a good look when Kelly Kapowski from Saved By The Bell did it, and isn’t even a good look for 80s parties.

2. Shutter shades- I know once Kanye was spotted in these everyone went crazy over them, but in my opinion, shutter shades were never okay, and will never, ever be okay. They serve no purpose besides making you look like a douche.

3. Visors- I have a feeling that sooner or later, hipsters are going to think that grandma visors are ‘ironic.’ I’ll just put it out there now to save everyone the $5: they aren’t ironic, they’re ugly. 

4. Mesh- so not okay. Small mesh (like the Brian Lichtenberg or American Apparel dress) = good. Big mesh = this guy.

5. Crocheted tank tops or bath suit tops as shirts- Just plain ugly.

6. Tying up dress shirts (a la ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’)- This was cool for like, a day, but trying to be ‘sexy’ while being fifteen and in catholic school is not happening.

7. One size fits all shirts- I really don’t know who thought this was a good idea. These are the ugliest shirts I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

8. Guys in flared jeans/pants- I know this actually happens. I’ve been a witness to many guys still wearing flared jeans, most of the time girls’ jeans, but occasionally True Religion will make a pair of flares.  Note to all guys: if you’re going to wear girls jeans, at least get ones that look like they could belong to a guy. And also, this is not the 70s.

9. Dark lip liner- Beyond trashy. Seriously, what the hell

10. Scrunchies- I really, really, REALLY hope this isn’t happening.

To all of the trend setters of the world, please do us a favor and stay away from reviving these, or prepare for a permanent spot in Street Zeroes.

STREET ZEROES: My Jersey Experience

Edited by Hillary Frazier

After being convinced by Corey and friends that going to Jersey with them was a good idea, we decided to go to the mall and see Bruno.  There were a plethora of zeroes to be found, but my phone wouldn’t let me capture them all. At least she matches? 

TRENDSPARK?: Not Wearing A Bra

Edited by Hillary Frazier

Not sure if she has no idea what is going on, or that she just doesn’t care. Can’t say I’ll be doing this anytime soon.

SOURCE: Fashionising

STREET ZEROES: Paris Fashion Week #fashionfail

Edited by Hillary Frazier

I couldn’t decide if I liked this or not, I think what is throwing me off the most is the Star Trek-esque jacket, or maybe it’s because I still don’t know how I feel about leather pants. What do you guys think?

SOURCE: Street Style Recap: Thursday, June 11th 2009

STREET ZEROES Homeless Woman Happens to be Hot (#fashionfail)

Edited by Saynt

If there is one thing I hate about people who don’t look like total Boyles is that occasionally they insist on dressing like shitake to prove that they are still attractive. This woman attempted to do just that. A ratty blanket an outfit does not make. Please get off the soup line and head to a Saks.