Let’s start with the best of the derby, a hats off to those who tried their very best.

ESPN reporter Erin Andrews has my vote for best dressed at the 2011 Kentucky Derby. Her hat is spectacular, and she looks stunning in black and white. Give me a fitted top with palazzo pants any day.

I’m getting a little drowsy looking at Niki Taylor‘s nude and white outfit, but at least she looks elegant unlike some of the other heathens in attendance. Love the hat, but wish I could barf all over those sandals; they are pretty atrocious.

Look at Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas turning it out on the red carpet! I love that she wore a floral dress and matching pink shoes. I have a hat exactly like hers, and she has inspired me to dust it off and wear it this summer.

This is my favorite type of look for the Derby, and Kate Walsh got it just right. Neutral dress, nipped-in waist, sexy shoes and a single feather hat – Perfection.

Pepa & Salt are out of control, and I adore them. The ridiculous matching hats and dresses are priceless, love seeing them on the carpet together.

Now on to the worst of the derby, examining the “celebrities” that need serious fashion, and perhaps even mental, help.

If Aubrey O’Day was going for best stripper personality, she would have won for Little Bo Peep. But it seems she was trying to look good at the Kentucky Derby, which was a complete fail. I would pick apart the outfit and tell you why this is bad, but that would be wasting everyone’s time. This look is 100 percent awful.

THIS is why American Idol is a bad idea. I actually feel anger towards Jordin Sparks and her terrible outfit right now. Did she stain her dress at the last minute and have to borrow this from one of the horse stables? Or maybe her dry cleaners burned down? Whatever the excuse, apology not accepted.

I dig the fascinator, Maria Menounos, but the dress appears to be crafted with tissue paper by children. I don’t understand this craze with the extremely childish dresses, but it’s really time to grow up.

And here it is, the absolute worst outfit of the 2011 Kentucky Derby. There are dozens of things wrong with Miranda Lambert‘s look, but those cowboy boots should be burned so they never hurt anyone ever again. The slutty saloon girl wants her outfit back, and Lambert better oblige before my corneas combust with utter horror.

I hope you enjoyed this very special Kentucky Derby 2011 edition of Red Carpet Report Card. Who are your picks for best and worst dressed?

We learned that…

Kirill is fast becoming a staple in nightlife photography.

Stylist Julie Matos has a solution for every fashion mishap.

Tavi is making the move from online blogger to magazine editor.

Lookbooks.com picked their next batch of Ruffian Streetstyle winners.

Even fashion designers have secret strippers pasts.

I really love that these costumes are perfect for both normal girls on Halloween and strippers on a daily basis.

“Wear Fur and I’ll Eat Your Fucking Head Off!!!!”

PETA just hired strippers from Rick’s Cabaret to represent their anti-fur campaign. Apparently, they know a thing or two about keeping themselves “fur-free”. That was pubic hair joke if you didn’t get it.

LINKAGE: PETA Hires Strippers for New Anti-Fur Ad Campaign