Justin Bieber was the “Fastest Rising” search term of 2010, behind only Chatroulette and the iPad, proving that pedophiles love technology just a hair more than they love the Biebs.

Fastest Rising

Project Runway contestant from both season one and season two of the show popped up at the Los Angeles auditions of American Idol last night.

Although we did not hear him sing, we did get to hear him say that he is a combination of Adam Lambert and Susan Boyle.

I’m concluding that he was rejected and might be slightly addicted to appearing on reality television.

“I love Susan Boyle. She is my woman of the year. She has achieved more in this year than most artistes will in a lifetime. Our styles are different, but it would be great to work with somebody of that talent…..”LINK LOVE: PopCrunch

Susan didn’t land the cover, but she did get a large spread in the Sept Issue of Harper’s Bazaar.

LINK LOVE: NY Mag

Yes, she has the voice of an angel, and yes, she’s more famous than I’ll ever be, but is this runner up worthy of a Fashion Mag cover?  Apparently, Harper’s Bazaar is considering Susan Boyle for the cover of their Sept issue. If this happens, I vow to quit fashion!!!

1. Twilight New Moon. Yes, we hate Twilight New Moon more than Twilight.  How can we come to this realization without actually seeing the movie? Because we just saw the preview and that living Troll doll Kristen Stewart is still in it. Even worse, there are now bad CGI werewolves. So basically this movie is a teener-bopper version of Underworld without hotties like Kate Beckinsale in it to make it bearable to watch. Worse of all it will probably make a load of money making Robert Pattinson the richest twink in the world. For shame…

2. Robert Pattinson. Do you really have to ask why?

3. Jon & Kate Plus Eight. Wait, people actually waste their time watching a chick with bad hair and a dude with a bald spot deal with their 8 brats? How in the fluck is the entertainment?!? I mean, if there was at least a creepy uncle/priest or a recent sex offender released in their neighborhood, there might be some entertainment value as they freak the fuck out everytime one of their kids goes missing, but I just watched an episode and they basically spend their time playing at the park. Really people? I’d question anyone who watches this show who isn’t a midwest wife with no life. Seriously, there’s something completely wrong with you if you find this entertaining. It literally defines you as someone who is (a) desperate for children, (b) can’t stand your own kids or (c) derive pleasure from watching other peoples kids. All of them are pretty bad, so please just stop.

4. Beth Ditto. I imagine her smelling really, really bad. Does that make me a fatist? Maybe, but the chick insists on a diet that consists of processed deli meats, McDonald’s french fries, and hairy fish tacos. Probably gonna get hate mail for  this, but can we get a slightly thinner/less vomit enducing fat style icon? 

5. MTV 2009 Movie Awards. For being Twilight’s bitch.

6. Bust-a-Nut Facials. For $250 this salon in NYC will rub sperm on your face. Currently wondering if they accept donations. 

7. College Musical. You know it’s coming. Expect Efron to “experiment”.

8. “Accidentally” Leaked Celebrity Nude Photos. Rihanna, Cassie, Vanessa Hudgens. We get that is sucks that your boyfriend beats you/is old enough to be your dad/doesn’t know you exist but that’s no reason to go around taking badly lit naked photos of yourself. Jebus, ladies have some self respect and call Hefner. At least he’d pay you for shots of your no-no zone.  

9. Susan Boyle. Wow, talk about a total let down. The hottest woman on Youtube lost to a group of Jabberwocky biters. 

10. The Montag Monster. Another genetically altered mutant freak washed up on the shores of the Hamptons only this time it wants you to buy it’s album on iTunes.

Here’s the next sensation coming out of the UK…

You have to give it to the Scot. She cleans up quite nicely. Can’t wait until her next performance on that talent show that isn’t American Idol. Weigh in indies, love the look or hate it?

LINKAGE: Susan Boyle got a makeover