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Mens / October 18 2008 8:45 AM

I Hate Nappers

Edited by


I Hate Nappers
I Hate Nappers

Their rhymes are weak. Their style sucks. And they can’t dance for shit.

Why are they becoming popular?

Oh, yeah cause people are fucking stupid and easily fall for a gimmick.

The Jazzy Jeff/Pre-Million Dollar Movie Deal Will Smith look was never cool. These guys haven’t even attempted to make the look interesting by updating it. It looks like they just watched a full season of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and photocopied everything they saw. You’re not the new hipster, you’re not even close to being a blipster and I refuse to consider your shitty attempt to rehash the 90′s it’s own style category other than Napper (Nerd + Rapper = Nappers) because you are seriously putting us all to sleep. What’s so annoying is that this was purposely started. I’m sure it was a conversation at some Billyburg Salvation Army that got these boys talking about wearing 90′s retro wear and now they’re doing it and stinking up the streets with their visual vomit endouching style.

I’m starting to miss the good old days of rap, when cocaine and heroine dealers like Jay Z and Biggie Smalls ran the streets of Brooklyn. Now with all the white kids moving in we get vanilla flavored attempt at gansta.

So let it be known far and wide. The Retro Kids = Nappers. Kids that dress like they tripped into Kid n Play’s closet = Nappers. The Fresh Prince’s of Brooklyn = Nappers.

And I fucking hate Nappers.

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THE BURNBOOK / September 9 2008 5:00 AM

Before They Became Porn Stars: Child Sensations

Edited by

Keshia Knight Pulliam aka Rudy Huxtable from The Cosby Show

Before:
Before They Became Porn Stars: Child Sensations

After:

Before They Became Porn Stars: Child Sensations

Soleil Moon Frye aka Punky Brewster from The Punky Brewster Show

Before:

Before They Became Porn Stars: Child Sensations

After:

Before They Became Porn Stars: Child Sensations

Danica McKeller aka Minnie Cooper from The Wonder Years

Before:

Before They Became Porn Stars: Child Sensations

After:

Before They Became Porn Stars: Child Sensations

Tiffani Amber Thiessen aka Kelly Kapowski from Saved By The Bell

Before:

Before They Became Porn Stars: Child Sensations

After:

Before They Became Porn Stars: Child Sensations

Tatyana Ali aka Ashley Banks from The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air

Before:

Before They Became Porn Stars: Child Sensations

After:

Before They Became Porn Stars: Child Sensations

Nicole Eggert aka Jamie Powell from Charles In Charge

Before:

Before They Became Porn Stars: Child Sensations

After:

Before They Became Porn Stars: Child Sensations

Alyssa Milano aka Samantha Micelli from Who’s The Boss?

Before:

Before They Became Porn Stars: Child Sensations

After:

Before They Became Porn Stars: Child Sensations

 

Thanks to Dwyer & Michaels for the amazing display of failing careers!

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