All Posts Tagged With: "the hills"

Don’t Move While Lauren Conrad Captures Your Soul

Here’s a quicky for you indies. Lauren Conrad, that chick from the brain draining The Hills (like you didn’t already know that), will be designing an accessories line for (drumroll please)… AVON!!

Thank god. I haven’t picked up an Avon catalog in, well, um, never cause I’m a dude and Avon’s for poor folk and Middle American’s (let the hate mail begin), so I will not be forced to vomit all over a copy of the pamphlet when I turn to the Lauren Conrad page filled with cheap ass jewelry and handbags for Avon’s Mark collection.

More after the jump.

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There are few things in our society more annoying to me than The Hills. On a scale of one to ten, one being a fly in the room, ten being the War in Iraq, The Hills hits a 20 on my scale of shit I can’t stand.

Of course, that’s coming from someone who’s never watched the show and is only commenting on how such television brain crack is destroying the gentle fabric of the female in todays society.  This show is the equivalent of a womans version of the WWE.  Weak story plots, overhyped off camera squabbles, and a mind numbing vocabulary level sprinkled with “likes”, “ums” and “totally’s” make this show as interesting as watching Lauren Conrad run her fingers through her hair in an attempt to look “contemplative”.

As much as I would love this scripted reality series to go away (scripted reality basically means they couldn’t afford real actors so they found a bunch of no names with little talent to spew out random lines) it seems it’s hitting a catalystic tipping point; the cover of Rolling Stone!!!

Under the title “The Truth About The Hills” Rolling Stones attempts to reconnect with their long lost female reader by channeling their inner Us Weekly.  I hope the magazine stays on the shelf and becomes their lowest seller ever, but alas that probably won’t happen since a photo of all four girls together can fetch a paparazzi $200,000 (and a good marksman major cred in my book).

Hopefully the only “Truth” that’s revealed in this issue is a cancellation of the show. Of course, that would probably put a couple of writers, like, totally out of a job or something, right?

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