While the print is less controversial than her previous Hindu disaster, Lisa Blue now seems to want you to leave the beach with a barcode on your belly.

A model walks the runway for the Diesel show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim at Raleigh Hotel on July 14, 2011 in Miami Beach, Florida.

Number of reality shows: 2 – The Hills; Laguna Beach

Average TV viewers from most recent starring season: 3.7 million

Twitter followers: 1.5 million

Facebook fans: 145,000

Books “written”: 4

Branded products: LC Lauren Conrad Clothes

Debut single: N/A

Lauren looks svelte and cool in this blue dress from her Lauren Conrad Collection at the 2008 MTV Movie Awards, but she seems awkward like she lost her confidence.

At The Hills Season 4 finale, Lauren looked adorable in this 3.1 Phillip Lim Resort 2009 dress with her classically cute haircut.

Minus the ridiculous weave, Lauren is rocking this Moschino Fall 2009 dress at the 2009 MTV Movie Awards.

Remove the weird Disney princess hair and powder the shiny nose, and Lauren looks lovely in this white lace Marchesa dress at a Barnes & Noble book signing in New York City.

Although I am bored by Lauren wearing her own line at the Us Weekly Hot Hollywood Party, it’s amazing how much her confidence on the red carpet has blossomed and evolved from the beginning.

What do you think of Lauren Conrad‘s fashion evolution? Stay tuned for another Reality Star Runway tomorrow.

LINK LOVE: Fast Company

Lauren Conrad being a great philanthropist, is finally taking on fashion fuckups. This is a serious dilemma going around and I am glad it now has a celebrity endorsement even if it is Lauren Conrad. It just goes to show that anyone can right a book. But seriously fashion fuckups are no joking matter!

Was it written into their contracts that they must go into fashion following their exit from the show!?

Kristin Cavallari is following in Lauren Conrad‘s shoes almost literally, because she’s picked up a gig designing a pair of shoes for Shoe Dazzle.

The former Hills actress announced her new job at the Salt premiere on Monday night:

“I’m designing a shoe for Shoe Dazzle right now, which is like a one time, one deal show which a portion of the proceeds will go to my charity ‘OneKid OneWorld’. I’m excited about that because I want to have my own shoe line so it’ll be like a good first shoe to get my feet wet with.”

At least it’s for a good cause!

Would U buy Kristin’s shoes???

Image via FayesVision/WENN.

LINK LOVE:Kristin Cavallari, Shoe Designer

In the latest fashion news, reality television star Kristin Cavallari plans to become a shoe designer. The star of MTV reality show “The Hills” is currently designing a pair of shoes for Shoe Dazzle, and will donate a portion of the money from sales to the charity OneKid OneWorld. OneKid OneWorld provides education to children in impoverished communities.

Cavallari, 23, says that shoes are her favorite fashion accessories, telling People magazine “Shoes are my number one thing.”

Now that “The Hills” is over, Cavallari is eager to move on, despite the fact that the show was responsible for sparing numerous fashion trends. She recently told E! online that the semi-scripted show often forced her and the other cast members to say things to heighten the drama. But apparently it wasn’t all bad. Cavallari met her boyfriend, Miguel Medina, a cameraman, on the set.

LINK LOVE:Kristin Cavallari to Design Shoe for Charity

Become a FashionIndie.com contributor. Subscribe to Envy.

LINK LOVE:Kelly Cutrone Says “The Hills” Isn’t Scripted

Become a FashionIndie.com contributor. Subscribe to Envy.

The after show was kind of disappointing also. I wish the hosts would have asked more questions, but Lauren Conrad was there and that is all I needed. The other Indies are always laughing at me because I was addicted to the show, but I’m not ashamed to say that I love those girls!  They represented the American dream to me. When I was a student in France, their work in the fashion industry and great lives full of drama inspired me. Luck for me, The City might have another season, and I can’t wait to see what’s going on next for Whitney and Olivia. Since I am a raging fanatic, I hope that Lauren Conrad will make an appearance on an episode.

By the way, tonight is The Hills finale and I already know that I’ll be locked in my house in front of MTV, crying my eyes out… Bongo is available at Kmart and Sears.

Whiteney’s earring s retail for about $85 and are from Bing Bang, which continues to be the favorite amongst celebrity tastemakers such as Jessica Alba and Jennifer Lopez.

You can get Roxy’s camilla and marc jacket from Shopbop.

Comedian Jonah Hill teamed up with Elvis’ model granddaughter, Riley Keough, for a Harper’s Bazaar photospread parodying The Hills’ Heidi and Spencer Pratt. More pics after the jump…

“It’s important to be the best and to have the best–whether it’s watches, cars, or groceries. I always find the ripest melons in the whole market,” Jonah says. “Shopping is my life. My life is shopping. If Kitson became a country, I would pack up my belongings, move there, and apply for citizenship.”

LINK LOVE: Pop Crunch

Lauren Conrad apparently wrote a book (totally didn’t know that) and now she’s going to make a movie based off this phantom book. The good news for her is that, unlike The Hills, it is socially acceptable for this to be scripted. So is it still considered a biography if it is based of fabricated events?

LINK LOVE: Just Jared

#3702738 Former star of 'The Hills,' Lauren Conrad, leaves new West Hollywood nightclub Mi-6, named after the British Secret Intelligence Service (a.k.a. MI6) and meant to conjure the sleek luxury of the James Bond movies. Fame Pictures, Inc - Santa Monica, CA, USA - +1 (310) 395-0500

Thank God for screen shots, I had to capture this moment.  Spencer Pratt managed to make me think he’s even more of a douche than I thought he was before on this week’s episode of the Hills. Why am I watching this online right now?

LINK LOVE: MTV

The Hills bad girl Kristin Cavallari takes us to Jay Ahr to pick out her VMA dress with Myspace.  Will someone do me a favor and count how many times she says “rock and roll” in this video? I lost track..

LINK LOVE: Myspace

The Daily Beast got wind of the contract stating how much each cast member of The Hills makes per episode. I’m really glad to know that they’re being adequately compensated for all of their hard work. They deserve it, don’t they? They’re all such good actors!

Lauren Conrad - $125,000 per episode (her contract also stated that nobody on The Hills could make more than her)
Kristin Cavalari - $90,000 per episode
Heidi Montag - $100,000 per episode
Audrina Patridge – $100,000 per episode
Lo Bosworth – $100,000 per episode
Spencer Pratt – $65,000 per episode
Brody Jenner – $45,000 per episode

LINK LOVE: D Listed

LINK LOVE: NY Mag

For those of you that weren’t aware, Heidi Montag had quite the interview with Playboy. Not a big surprise there. But what is surprising is what they talked about behind the scenes. When asked about her plastic surgery, both nose and boobs, not only did Heidi admit to having them done, but she expressed her hopes to have her boobs done again in the future! Why? She wants to make them bigger for Spencer. I guess I shouldn’t really be surprised, and by all means Heidi, if you want them done again then go for it, but do it for yourself, Spencer’s just not worth it.

LINKAGE: NY Daily News

05_Flatbed_2 - AUGUST Original Filename: SEP COVER.jpg

With the eco-friendly movement gaining more momentum, it was only a matter of time before our favorite reality stars marched right on with it. Whitney Port has become the newest member of eco-friendly cosmetic company, PlantLove. The City star has created a hot pink lipstick to be featured alongside various other products of the PlantLove line. Eve Pinky is set to hit Sephora stores next week! And just incase saving the planet wasn’t enough reason to buy the lipstick, here’s another: two dollars from each sale of Eve Pinky goes to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

“If you give me a script, I’ll do what you want. I’m not a reality star. I’m on ‘The Hills.’”

I thought this line was really cool until I clicked on the online store and saw the entire cast of The Hills, Miley Cyrus, Vanessa Hudgens, and Katie Perry. I’m just going to pretend I didn’t do that.  The fall collection is vampire inspired (isn’t everything these days) and has a little story that says, “Boys will come and go” the girls will say, “but vampires are forever.”  The lookbook shows girls in blood-red lipstick, some with fangs, or drinking cans of ‘blood,’ all in over-exposed light and semi-hipster fashion.  There’s some really cool shirts, and some ‘wild child’ leggings that I’m thinking about picking up…if Lauren Conrad doesn’t beat me to it…sigh. Check out the rest of the lookbook in the gallery.

GALLERY: Wildfox Couture Lookbook

SOURCE: The Clothes

After:

If your used to watching Whitney Port on The Hills or The City, this is sure to give you quite laugh. Whitney told all of her fans on her blog that she was an avid little-league player in her childhood years; those years before she got hold of a stylist of course! You’d never guess that she’d be involved in fashion from her before picture, she’s hardly even recognizable!

Sometimes seemingly small incidents occur that really rattle your foundations and make you reevaluate your beliefs. My week began with some drama as I was embroiled in a bit of an internet mini-scandal involving a “rival vapid fauxcialite.”

I attempted to put it behind me for Monday night’s Ballet Hispanico Benefit at the Soho House. As flamboyant as I may be, I am not actually a fan of the ballet—though to be fair, nor am I a detractor. I have nothing against men in tights prancing around, it’s just that why pay to see others do that when I do it in the street on a nearly daily basis? So it wasn’t necessarily for the dancers that I paid $75 (tax-deductible) to attend the charity event.

My logic was that I would probably spend just about that much on a regular night out of drinking and cabs, so why not donate it to charity while enjoying a fabulous setting? There was an open bar that quickly ran dry of champagne but I felt entitled to every last drop of alcohol so I had begun drinking rum into the second hour, determined to get my money’s worth.

Zac Posen had donated the dresses worn by the exotic (non-Hispanico) dancers but the man himself was sadly a no-show—I maintain a glimmer of hope that we will one day meet and live happily-ever-after.

Usually after a night like that, I would have had my fill of chi-chi, pretentious society events, but I came crawling back the next evening to the Hudson Hotel for the A Private Club party. A Private Club is like A Small World—but even smaller. It’s the Skull and Crossbones Society of social networks: slightly mysterious, laughably exclusive and entirely contempt-worthy.

Everyone more or less knew one another and my new internet enemy Kristian Laliberté was there pretending I didn’t exist, which was quite fine by me. While the environs where chic and the crowd was comprised of the self-coronated social royalty including Jules Kirby, Luigi Tadini and others, the atmosphere couldn’t have been any stuffier. I felt like Rose in The Titanic when she has an epiphany during a lavish dinner in First Class that her life sucks and she tries to throw herself off the boat.

Instead of hurling myself off the balcony of the Hudson, I instead trekked downtown to the Eldridge for the Urban Zen charity event hosted by Justin Parks. I don’t know what Urban Zen does, but I did know that there was going to be an open champagne bar so that was enough for me. As I looked around and saw a frumpy middle aged woman brushing her hair at one of the banquets, clearly unaware of just where she was, (if you’ll allow for a little Carrie Bradshaw-esque self-introspection) I couldn’t help but wonder what the significance of being a part of the “social crowd” was. Does it really matter at the end of the day that you can get into exclusive places and are photographed doing it? I was beginning to feel as empty and vapid as a character on The Hills.

On the brink of an existential crisis, I forced myself to stay in and skip the GenArt party on Wednesday in favor of an Ugly Betty marathon. But don’t you worry you social-enthusiasts, I was back out in full force on Thursday!

My first stop was the Esquire Big Black Book launch at the B&B Italia store in SoHo. The BBB has heretofore been an annual issue of classic style, but this marked the first seasonal issue for Spring. The party turned out to be the best all week with champagne, hors d’oeuvres and very attractive men.

Even as I was decked out in Armani and fur, I still felt out-fashioned by many of the male guests–Esquire editors no doubt–in their classic, immaculately tailored-suits. I tried to make eyes in hopes of finding either a job or employment (chew on that for a moment) but apparently fashion editors are too much into themselves to pay attention to anyone else. Go figure.

Once the party had run its course, I walked a few blocks downtown in the rain to the Timberland store for the Nature of a City photo exhibit. Let me address the most important issue first: I have never been to an event with better or more copious food. Catered by Dean and Deluca, you can bet that I got my dinner’s worth of hors d’oeuvres, literally standing at the cheese table alternating between bread sticks and the passed plates that included everything from mac & cheese puffs to fried shrimp and mini cheesecakes. It was like a forty course meal.

The last stop of the night was Above Allen at the Thompson LES Hotel for the Prince Peter party celebrating both his birthday and his T-shirt collection. It’s lucky that we had indulged our gluttony at Timberland because by the time we arrived at the Thompson, the last bottle of champagne was being swilled by a manifestly manner-less guest.

Guests, who may or may not have all been there for Prince Peter, included Talia Eisenberg of the downtown Heist Gallery, nightlife fixture Malik So Chic and a few fresh-faced male models.

I forced myself to go home early as I had an 8AM flight to Austin, Texas the next morning to interview Carson Kressley. The sojourn couldn’t have come at a better time as I was in desperate need of some perspective and my night of bar-hopping in Austin where the handsome southern men exhibited none of the self-conscious bitchyness of their distant (in nature and difference) Manhattan social counterparts was just what I needed to bring me back down to earth.

As much as I would have like to stay in the land of people where flip-flops are considered acceptable wear in fifty-degree weather, I know where I belong and won’t relinquish my title as “chuckle-worthy fauxcialite”—I’ve worked hard for that moniker.

Adrien Field

Photography duo Smallz and Raskind shot Audrina Patridge for Divine Rights of Denim’s S/S 2009 ad campaign.

I’m not an Audrina fan, but she looks good; and LC should take note: if you model someone else’s clothes, it won’t hurt as much when they go out of business.

Also, I think this is Audrina’s first time actually looking into the camera.

GALLERY: Audrina Patridge for Divine Rights of Denim.

After signing a three-book deal with HarperCollins in September, Lauren Conrad is releasing her first young adult novel, L.A. Candy, June 16.

Conrad’s own synopsis is priceless: “[It tells] a behind-the scenes story of a young girl [named Jane Roberts] who moves to L.A. and unexpectedly becomes the star of a reality television show.”

The good news is that the book can’t possibly get optioned for a TV show.

I wonder if the next installment will find Jane selling generic jersey dresses at a drastic discount?

From People.

Lo Bosworth is wearing a Target skirt that I was actually going to pick up yesterday as I was looking for early signs of McQueen. Gotta admit, for $27.99, this skirt looks really cute, especially paired with a plain black tank and flats (of course, the outfit isn’t complete without the Chanel bag, but that you cannot pick up at Target).

PHOTO: ICYDK

©BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM "The Hills" stars Lauren Conrad and Lauren "Lo" Bosworth leave a frenzy of photographers at the show's filming set to go on a shopping spree in Beverly Hills, stopping in at Chanel and Neiman Marcus. EXCLUSIVE February 24, 2009 Job: 90224NQ4 Beverly Hills, California www.bauergriffin.com www.bauergriffinonline.com

It looks like Whitney Port is packing up her bikini and taking to the streets of New York with her new spinoff of The Hills produced by MTV. The City, despite the fact that it is a spinoff, looks pretty serious to me. Crying models, backstabbing boyfriends, jealous acquaintances and workplace scandals are just some of the things the teaser shows will go down in the Big Apple. NY Mag made a pretty solid prediction as to what is going to happen by the looks of the trailer. If they are correct, it looks like I can graduate from the overdramatic Gossip Girl and start laughing my butt off at the ridiculous drama and seditious characters of The City…as long as Lauren Conrad’s ugly dresses aren’t worn on screen…

We don’t have an exact date for the premier of this show, but MTV claims The City will air sometime in the spring. In the meantime, I would love to see Comedy Central do a spinoff of their own called The Mountains: Spencer dies in a freak snowmobile accident, leaving Heidi stranded alone in a desolate log cabin without internet for online shopping. Whitney begins designing winter coats but Lauren refuses to do her PR work because she is too busy designing hideous dresses of her own. Audrina quits work at Epic Records and begins work as a zamboni driver at the local ice-skating rink, leaving her too poor to afford rent with Lauren. Then all the girls go on an epic journey to rescue Heidi but are killed in an avalanche. Now Heidi must fend for herself until the Teen Vogue comes to the rescue! Can she do it? Stay tuned. 

Thanks US Magazine!

I know what all you little whinny commenters are going to say before you even say it, so here it goes. “Kelly Cutrone was famous before she was even on The Hills!” Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah (assume an annoying snotty tone). Here’s the bottom line people. Yes, Kelly Cutrone was well known in her field/industry before she ever appeared on The Hills. However, she was not popular enough to get her own show, which exactly what this People’s Revolution iron fisted boss is getting. The original producers of Project Runway (The Magical Elves) are teaming up with Catrone to bring viewers the “nitty-gritty” side of the publicity world. Being the PR person I am (imagine that I’m not even a writer, so get off my ass about my rare grammatical errors) naturally interested in the show. Keep an eye out for your Corey Moran/Fashion Indie cameo bitches! No word on when the show is going to start up, but we’ll keep you posted as we hear more!

If you grew up with Rodeo Drive in your backyard, interned two summers at Womenswear Daily and currently hold the position as fashion contributor at Teen Vogue, we would certainly hope that you have at least an ounce of style. Well Whitney Port, you might be “The Hills” glamour Barbie, but your clothing line is anything but glamourous and falls miles short of being impressive. 

Port’s new cocktail and nightwear clothing line, Eve & A, was recently picked up by Kitson Boutique. But I guess I’m not the only one vomiting over Port’s poorly executed ruffle-neck dress or her hideously constructed, costume-like sequin dress. Port’s line is listed as Whitney Eve on the Kitson website…that isn’t even the name of her clothing line! Maybe Kitson is so embarrassed of their agreement to sell Port’s line that they changed the name so people couldn’t find it! 

And just look at those gnarly prices! Who in their right mind, especially with the current economic situation, would drop $400-$500 for such crap? I suggest you take that money and invest in some Campbell’s Soup stock.. Honestly, what is going to make you feel safer? A delicious homemade bowl of chicken noodle soup or knowing that one of those monstrous garments could potentially attack you in your sleep?

Thanks NY Magazine!

As if we already didn’t know Brody Jenner is a complete loser, he has to go around on a regular basis reminding us. The only thing that could make this image better would be Chuck Norris coming through the crowd and roundhouse kicking Brody in the back of his stupid head. Is Brody even famous? He is more or less an extra in a stupid, fake reality show that features a wannabe designer who is the ugliness that is Lauren Conrad. Oh the price I would pay to see Brody Jenner in a situation reminiscent to the movie Hostel.

Thanks Jezebel for reminding me of how much I hate the Cali trash bitch!

“She works haaaard for the money, so haaaard for the money!”

Or does she? The salaries for characters on The Hills have made their way into the media, and it is UGG-ly. Everyone on that show is ridiculously overpaid, but Lauren Conrad is making a whopping $75,000 per episode. That is at least $10,000 more than any other character on that vile show. I suppose this piece of information has given me hope of starting a Hollywood career for myself. I am also a bitch who has no acting talent whatsoever, but apparently I can make some cash money looking like a ditz in front of the camera. I have a feeling that Donna Summer is truly appalled about this.

If anyone is interested, here is the recap of the anticipated (I don’t know why) guilty pleasure “The Hills.” Click on more.

We open at People’s Revolution, where Lauren and Whitney are talking and, um, staring at jeans. Lauren tells Whitney that they’re throwing a birthday party for Audrina (providing the requisite “party scene” later on in the show, obviously), and also that she has a date. A date! Whitney’s face contorts. Lauren explains that back in the day she went to this kid’s prom with him. “Oh my gosh,” says Whitney. “Such a small world.” From now on, we’re counting how many times Whitney says “Oh my gosh” per episode.

We’ve landed at Bolthouse, where Heidi and her work “friend,” Kimberly, are chatting on a couch. Heidi says her sister is coming to visit, but she’s not excited, because her McDoucherton boyfriend just moved back in and she hasn’t told him yet. We’re sad we didn’t get to see the actual move-in, when Spencer just took his stuff out of the closet and from under the bed … since they NEVER ACTUALLY BROKE UP. Whatever, we’re over it. Does Heidi have a Birkin? She does! My god, Hermès is going down the tubes.

L.C. goes on her date with the funnily named Doug, who looks a little like Ryan Reynolds, complete with too-close-together eyes. He’s a total idiot, but so is she, so it kind of works. “What have you been doing for the last four years of your life?” he asks her. HILARIOUS. Lauren hasn’t been up to anything special, Doug, we swear. Just normal becoming a reality-TV superstar/starring in a sex tape/not really in college/starting a fashion line/becoming a millionaire stuff. Before they even get their drinks, he asks her if they can go out again, and we smell a Hills hanger-on! Lauren invites him to Audrina’s birthday party, and he’s in. Yay.

Cut to Audrina’s fiesta: Doug walks in wearing a sleeveless Lakers jersey. Ew: Never trust a guy in tank top. L.C. doesn’t pay too much attention to him for the rest of the party, so there you go. Then Audrina’s punk friends roll in: There’s a guy with a huge mohawk and a guy with an earring that takes up his entire ear. Lo is turned off by the freak parade, of course, and Lauren tells her to “be the charming and friendly Lo that I know and love.” Wait, who’s that? Lo responds by going upstairs to be antisocial and play with the dog. But wait — JUSTIN BOBBY HAS ARRIVED. We are SO happy to see him. He’s wearing a leather jacket with writing on it, and he immediately tries to throw Audrina in the pool. That guy really knows how to make us laugh out loud.

Back from commercial, Heidi’s sister — who now has a whole new set of horrible hair extensions, thanks to her big sis — is leaving town. She suggests moving out to L.A., as she doesn’t have anything going on in Colorado (good work with your daughters, Montag parents) — Spencer looks pissed, and now we have another plotline for the season.

And here’s that climatic talk, worthy of this episode’s title. Lo has to confront Audrina; she says Audrina’s not making an effort, and Audrina says Lo is mean and that she and Lauren gang up on her. Audrina’s priceless, heartbreaking line: “I have friends that treat me good and I feel included and you don’t do that.” Awwwwwww. She has friends that treat her good! Even though she wears shirts that say “Hyper Crush Sex.” Then she says, “We’ll never be friends.” Lo seems taken aback by this display of confidence and ends it with, “I’m going to leave you to your place.” She is such a snot.

Next week: The return of Stephanie Pratt! We can’t wait. We hope she and Holly become Hills-star-sister friends and conquer the world together.

Thanks NY Mag

TRANSPORTATION
LC tooled around Laguna Beach in a Toyota (TM) Forerunner in high school, and upgraded to her mom’s hand me down BMW 3-series upon making the move up to Hollywood. But now Lauren’s got a pair of new wheels of her own: A black Mercedes (DAI) CLK 350 Convertible, MSRP $54,500. And considering LC’s Forerunner was also handed down to her sister Breanna, we’re guessing the Conrads like to buy, not lease, their cars.

SHELTER
LC made the jump from renter to homeowner at the end of season two when she purchased a 3,009 square foot, 3 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom home with guest house (got to put Audrina somewhere!) in Hollywood for a cool $2.36 million. And the depressed market made it worth her while, the house was originally listed for $2.495 million. Assuming Lauren put 30% down on a 30-year fixed mortgage at 6.34%, she’s shelling out an estimated monthly payment of $10,365.83. Hope Audrina and Lo are kicking in some rent!

BEAUTY
LC was recently spotted devoting two hours at the Warren Tricomi salon in Los Angeles, getting her locks specially sun streaked. Highlights at the exclusive salon start at $221, and cuts start at $136! (And a golden girl can’t let those dark roots show, so LC touches up her locks at least every six weeks to maintain the perfectly natural look.)

WARDROBE
LC favors skinny denim and blousy tops by day and trendy dresses and heels for nights on the town. Here’s a sampling of duds straight from Lauren’s closet.

Day wear
Blouse by Tibi: $310 (marked down to $155) at Revolveclothing.com.
J Brand 12” Jeans – $165 at Los Angeles boutique Ron Herman.
Marc Jacobs Collection Quilted Margot Bag – $1,275 at eLuxury.com.
Every Hollywood girl needs at least a couple pairs of shades. LC has been spotted wearing these:
Marc Jacobs MJ Gold Aviators – $305 at Bloomingdale’s. (M)
Chloe Filao Sunglasses – $330 at Net-a-porter.com.
Rayban Wayfarers – $139.95 at the Sunglass Hut.
Dita Supa Dupa Sunglasses – $225 at Dita.

Evening Wear
D&G Dolce & Gabbana Mesh Overlay Dress (LC wore this to the New York Dark Knight premiere) – $645 at eLuxury.
Catherine Malandrino Watercolor Mini Dress – $347 (on sale from $495) at Neiman Marcus.
Christian Louboutin Very Noeud Slingbacks – $795 at Net-a-porter.com.

It Bag
Whether at Whole Foods (WFMI) or a fashion shoot, LC is rarely seen with out her jumbo Chanel 2.55 black quilted purse. For sale at Chanel boutiques – $3,000.

SAFETY NET
She’s reportedly paid about $1.5 million dollars to play herself on television each season, has endorsements with Mark cosmetics and AT&T, and designs her eponymous fashion line on the side.

But even if all those pursuits fail, she still probably won’t have too much trouble footing her bills. Her parents Jim and Kathy’s 8,000 square foot Laguna Beach home that was featured on Laguna Beach just went market for $17.9 million.

“OMG, Whitney just texted me that Brody brought Heidi and Spencer to my birthday party…” Oh wait wrong show

You can tell this isn’t Gossip Girls because he’s wearing a wetsuit. He’s so hardcore, he surfs at night!

This woman is the only reason I plan to watch this show. There’s nothing funnier than an overly self-medicated Grandmother!

So are you going to watch this West Coast version of Gossip Girls

[Source]

Lauren Conrad-and a giant camera lens-cover this week’s edition of Entertainment Weekly. In her cover story with EW, the wealthy fashion maven, poked fun at her ever-present entourage of paparazzi (hence the cover photo). The Princess of MTV also offered a few spoilers on the new season of The Hills, debuting August 18th at 10 p.m.

“It’s about empowering girls,” Lauren says of the explosive reaity series. “You’re gonna have bad boyfriends and best friends-turned-enemies. You need to be yourself, you need to work hard and you’ll get there.”

Read the entire interview here.

Heidi probably had to blow the hillbilly in this picture to get this Jelliquarium for free, but hell was it worth it.  Can these two please stop posing in front of things? It makes me really hate everything that’s in the same picture with them.  Currently added to the list; Jelliquariums, hillbillies, beepers (really, people still carry these?!?), man highlights, oversized polo shirts, and faded jeans. I mean I hated those things anyways, but now I extra hate them.

Thanks to Trend De La Creme for linking us this pict.

Don’t Move While Lauren Conrad Captures Your Soul

Here’s a quicky for you indies. Lauren Conrad, that chick from the brain draining The Hills (like you didn’t already know that), will be designing an accessories line for (drumroll please)… AVON!!

Thank god. I haven’t picked up an Avon catalog in, well, um, never cause I’m a dude and Avon’s for poor folk and Middle American’s (let the hate mail begin), so I will not be forced to vomit all over a copy of the pamphlet when I turn to the Lauren Conrad page filled with cheap ass jewelry and handbags for Avon’s Mark collection.

More after the jump.

Why is this allowed?  Cause MTV reaches the “cool” kids, the “cool” kids love The Hills, which stars “cool” kid Lauren Conrad.  What’s great about this scenario is that “cool” can be easily replaced with “desperately seeking validation of ones life through watching self absorbed brats engage in mindless chatter with vocabulary levels equal to a really smart tards”. Oh Lauren, as the new Paris Hilton, you’re moving along swimmingly with your rise to fame, can’t wait to see the guillotine drop.

P.S. Where’s the flipping sex tape?  This whole “finding you interesting thing” is getting pretty boring without some full frontal nudity to keep my interest going.

I think the Fashionistas might be following our anti-Hills lead.  For one single day they decided not to talk about the show or any of it’s characters. Could we be starting a trend on the fashion blogosphere?

Okay, maybe not cause everyone with at least half a brain cell knows this show is fucking idiotic. What I do appreciate are the comments left by their readers. Choice ones below…

I’m so glad you’re detoxing from the Hills. When i watch that show i feel my braincells melting with every utterly inept remark.

Those girls would be boring to listen to in person. I can’t believe people watch them on tv.

i can’t blame him, the hills is so whatever now, i mean the camera focused on about ten seconds of them (Lo, LC, Audrina) just chewing because there’s nothing interesting on anymore

The Hills is only revelant when the show have something about fashion ie Teen Vogue, People Revolution, Kelly Cutrone and fashion shows. I could care less about the sex tape-heidi-spencer drama.

I miss the brain cells I lose when I watch The Hills. But I’m addicted. I think my mind goes numb whenever I watch it. But I know it feels so good.

There are few things in our society more annoying to me than The Hills. On a scale of one to ten, one being a fly in the room, ten being the War in Iraq, The Hills hits a 20 on my scale of shit I can’t stand.

Of course, that’s coming from someone who’s never watched the show and is only commenting on how such television brain crack is destroying the gentle fabric of the female in todays society.  This show is the equivalent of a womans version of the WWE.  Weak story plots, overhyped off camera squabbles, and a mind numbing vocabulary level sprinkled with “likes”, “ums” and “totally’s” make this show as interesting as watching Lauren Conrad run her fingers through her hair in an attempt to look “contemplative”.

As much as I would love this scripted reality series to go away (scripted reality basically means they couldn’t afford real actors so they found a bunch of no names with little talent to spew out random lines) it seems it’s hitting a catalystic tipping point; the cover of Rolling Stone!!!

Under the title “The Truth About The Hills” Rolling Stones attempts to reconnect with their long lost female reader by channeling their inner Us Weekly.  I hope the magazine stays on the shelf and becomes their lowest seller ever, but alas that probably won’t happen since a photo of all four girls together can fetch a paparazzi $200,000 (and a good marksman major cred in my book).

Hopefully the only “Truth” that’s revealed in this issue is a cancellation of the show. Of course, that would probably put a couple of writers, like, totally out of a job or something, right?

Another forgettable star of The Hills is coming out with a line of clothes.  Whitney Port will be creating a contemporary label called Eve & A to compete with queen bee’s Lauren Conrad’s line of Rachel Pally knock-offs.  The collection will be geared towards girls who hate being second banana so expect some accessories perfect for back-stabbing.

For those of you who don’t know who Whitney is, she’s the less interesting on in the picture at left.