I almost blew my ice tea through the nose when I saw this item on WWD about the 2010 How America Shops MegaTrends Study – ‘The Odyssey Begins to the New Retail World‘. Apparently, we ladies were effortlessly tucked into 5 different shopper types with silly names.

Shopping airhead types according to the report:

24% – Bubble Bobbie: “Hurt by the recession, not much money, but a girl’s just got to shop.”

Translation: Bobbie is a special kind of lady.Well … not that special, they’re all the same in the end. She doesn’t have a lot of
money because who would take seriously or hire a grown woman going by
the name ‘Bubble Bobbie’? She would probably spend most of the day doing
her nails and chit-chatting to her equally ‘Bubble Bobbie’-ish
girlfriends and then leave early because you know, a girl just got to
shop.

21% – Shop-a-lot Sue: “Hurt by the recession, but determined to shop smarter to get what she wants.”

Translation: Sue probably managed to put away her female chachkes and knickknacks for long enough a time to get some type of
community college degree. But you can still sell pretty much anything to
her, just make sure the discounts you flaunt in front of her face are
in the double digits. There’s nothing like a rush of saving a buck,
right?

20% – I’ll-pass Patty: “Never joined the shopping culture so the recession doesn’t hurt much. Why would anyone want to shop?”

Translation: She’s a dyke. Don’t bother with her.

18% – Miserable Mona: “Hurt by the recession, always struggles, but that’s her lot in life. Why shop if you can’t buy?”

Translation: Mona is really a Bubble Bobbie on PMS. Give her some space and she’ll come around. What you gonna do. Women.

17% – Chic chic Charlotte: “Spared by the recession. A devoted (affluent) shopper, but with a new reserve about excess consumption.”

Translation: She’s got an expensive taste and a rich husband that tells her that shopping won’t look so good when you’re on the
bailout payroll. You can still sell things to her, just convince her
it’s her own, very smart, choice.

Yup. There you have it. I’m sure you’re settling into one of these already, without even noticing it.

Link Love: Fashion Lover

LINK LOVE:Are You a Miserable Mona or a Bubble Bobbie? Shoppers Get Catergorized by WWD

Abercrombie is feeling a pinch in their perfectly toned abs.

They just suffered a $26.7 MILLION DOLLAR LOSS.

The Solution: Lower prices.

Now even the underprivileged can look like douchebags.

LINK LOVE: wwd.com

Seems like Esquire might be on the chopping block. Ad revenue dropped 22% in the first quarter, which isn’t technically horrible compared to other publications, but Gawker is reporting that the magazine’s staff, and its corporate peeps are on their last leg.

“According to a tipster: Publisher Kevin O’Malley told the staff that even though Esquire did (very relatively) better than rival GQ last quarter, it wasn’t good enough—he wants them to be picking up the market share lost by Portfolio and Best Life. Other complaints: GQ got more National Magazine Award nominations, and some high end advertisers think Esquire is becoming too “gimmicky.”"

Couldn’t agree more. This magazine totally has lost it. The E-Ink thing with the flashing cover was totally lame and all the articles are so dull. Can’t wait to see this one go under. Hopefully it frees up some room for titles like Antenna (which I totally adore).

LINKAGE: Esquire Is Getting Nervous [Rumormonger]

One of the nations largest luxury retailer is getting ready to give the boot to 1,100 corporate and store employees. It’s a necessary cut considering their stagnant sales and the economy’s growing ability to thoroughly kick everyones ass.

LINKAGE: Saks Lays Off 9% of Work Force