Despite scathing reviews and dysmal box office returns, The Tourist and Burlesque were both nominated for Best Picture – Musical/Comedy, which just goes to show you that…actually I’m not really sure at all what that goes to show anyone. Other nominees include Alice in Wonderland, Red and  The Kids Are All Right, which has already won by default.

Both Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie were nominated for Best Actor and Actress, respectively, in the same genre, however Cher is conspicuously absent. Now, who does the HFPA think they’re fooling? They can nominate Depp and Angie for sleepwalking through a movie no one saw, but snub Cher after wielding a crowbar in her first film in over 7 years? Someone call the AARP, the Globes are abusing a senior citizen.

Elsewhere, the Globes mirror the CCAs in their unabashed hard-on for Black Swan, The Social Network and The King’s Speech, each receiving multiple nominations in the acting categories, as well as a nomination for Best Picture – Drama. They’re joined in that auspicious category by Inception and The Fighter, with Danny Boyle‘s 127 Hours mysteriously snubbed.

The flick’s star, James Franco, is however nominated and released a statement to MTV about how “grateful” he is. And he also released a statement to Matt Lauer of the Today show about his love of texting pictures of fat animals.

I’m seriously excited about his various award speeches in the coming months.

Marky Mark Walhlberg (The Fighter) replaces Jeff Bridges in the competitive Best Actor – Drama category, otherwise, the nominees are exactly the same as the Critics’ Choice. Meanwhile, the nominees in the Best Actor – Comedy section will be getting drunk on the free champagne while Johnny Depp chuckles to himself at getting nominated twice for essentially the same character he’s been playing for the past 15 years.

It’s becoming clearer and clearer that the race to watch this year is Best Actress. Natalie Portman, Michelle Williams, Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Lawrence all re-scored the nomination, with Halle Berry somehow sneaking into the Drama category. Annette Bening has already engraved her name on the Best Actress – Comedy trophy, as her only real competition coming from her Kids Are All Right co-star, the incredible Julianne Moore.

Below, the full list:

Best Picture – Drama
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The King’s Speech
The Social Network

Best Picture – Musical or Comedy
Alice in Wonderland
Burlesque
The Kids Are All Right
Red
The Tourist

Best Actor – Drama
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Colin Firth, The King’s Speech
James Franco, 127 Hours
Ryan Gosling, Blue Valentine
Mark Wahlberg, The Fighter

Best Actress – Drama
Halle Berry, Frankie and Alice
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine

Best Actor – Musical or Comedy
Johnny Depp, Alice in Wonderland
Johnny Depp, The Tourist
Paul Giamatti, Barney’s Version
Jake Gyllenhaal, Love and Other Drugs
Kevin Spacey, Casino Jack

Best Actress – Musical or Comedy
Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right
Anne Hathaway, Love and Other Drugs
Angelina Jolie, The Tourist
Julianne Moore, The Kids Are All Right
Emma Stone, Easy A

Best Supporting Actor
Christian Bale, The Fighter
Michael Douglas, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Andrew Garfield, The Social Network
Jeremy Renner, The Town
Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech

Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, The Fighter
Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech
Mila Kunis, Black Swan
Melissa Leo, The Fighter
Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom

Best Director
Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan
David Fincher, The Social Network
Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech
Christopher Nolan, Inception
David O. Russell, The Fighter

Best Screenplay
127 Hours, Simon Beaufoy and Danny Boyle
Inception, Christopher Nolan
The Kids Are All Right, Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg
The King’s Speech, David Seidler
The Social Network, Aaron Sorkin

Best Original Song
“Bound to You,” Burlesque (performed by Christina Aguilera; written by Samuel Dixon, Christina Aguilera and Sia Furler)
“Coming Home,” Country Strong (performed by Gwyneth Paltrow; written by Bob PiPiero, Tom Douglas, Hillary Lindsey, Troy Verges)
“I See the Light,” Tangled (performed by Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi; written by Alan Menken & Glenn Slater)
“There’s a Place For Us,” The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (performed by Carrie Underwood; written by Carrie Underwood, David Hodges, Hillary Lindsey)
“You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me Yet,” Burlesque (performed by Cher; written by Diane Warren)

Best Original Score
Inception, Hans Zimmer
The King’s Speech, Alexandre Desplat
The Social Network, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
Alice in Wonderland, Danny Elfman
127 Hours, A.R. Rahman

Best Foreign Language Film
Biutiful
The Concert
The Edge
I Am Love
In a Better World

Best Animated Feature
Despicable Me
How to Train Your Dragon
The Illusionist
Tangled
Toy Story 3

Stay tuned for the TV Edition…once I freebase some coffee and rip a salvia bong hit.

LINK LOVE: Gawker

After a very heavy weekend of serious issues hanging over our heads…Ground Zero + Mosque = Nightmare, let’s take a respite from hard news. Today the airwaves are filled with a bunch of nobodies. In light of our failing economy, endless wars, catastrophe in Pakistan, we could use a dose of mindless blather. No? Let’s see who rates as major nobodies.

Patti Stranger, the Millionaire Matchmaker, proves the classic case of do as I say, not as I do. The orange person recently broke off her engagement to NJB, Andy Friedman. He didn't want kids? I think it is more of a case that he thought she and Snooki were the same color.

See what I mean. Who want to marry someone orange?

Speaking of washed up at the jersey Shore, Ronnie Ortiz was arrested again. So, what, each season he gets to show us what a low life he is?

Who on earth goes to see Tila Tequila perform, and I don't mean sexually, I mean singing? At least these kids had the good sense to thrwo shit at her…literally…they threw doody at the stage. Everyone's a critic.

Uch…those pursed lip puss. If you read my entry from last week about Steven Slater guy, I am sure I was 100% right. And he was offered a reality show already.

Violet Kowal is the newest member of the Nobody News sprinkles with a member ship to the Gross Baboon of the Year nominees. And guess who she hired? Yup…Madam Gloria Allred.

You know, Dina Lohan should really clam up. For her to go on The Today Show and bla bla bla about Lindsay is really annoying.

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Seriously? What the heck. You aren’t Lady Gaga, and I hate one-armed dresses.

SOURCE: Chic Stories