The B + T Knowles Express Storms the Runway for Dereon UK Debut

Edited by Lester Brathwaite

Expecting mother Beyoncé and expecting grandmother Tina Knowles hopped the pond Saturday night to launch their House of Deréon line in the UK.

Beyonce Still Slumming It for House of Dereon

Edited by Lester Brathwaite

Poor Beyoncé. On the heels of announcing her pregnancy in true diva style — dramatically and with a tossed microphone — she’s back helping mom Tina Knowles on that blight on fashion’s facade fashion line House of Deréon*. One  minute you’re woman-handling two hyenas in  Givenchy Haute Couture, the next you’re in a snakeskin-print jumper because your mom paid for voice/dance/tranny heel lessons 40 years ago.

INDIE NEWSROOM: Mugler’s Bionic A-Man…Gaga Grinds Some Gears…When Ugly Shoes Attack!

Edited by Lester Brathwaite

- Thierry Mugler has employed hottie amputee track star Oscar Pistorius  as the face and prosthetic legs of its A-Men fragrance. [NYT]

MUSE OF THE WORLD: Liz’s White Diamonds to Bring Christie’s Luck, A Collective Eye-Rolling Over Blake at Chanel & Hollywood’s Newest Dysfunctional Couple

Edited by Lester Brathwaite

- Christie’s is rumoured to be auctioning off Dame Elizabeth Taylor‘s legendary jewelry collection, at one time valued at $150 million. I’d like to put in my initial bid for the 69-carat Taylor Burton Diamond. Let’s just take a quick look-see at the ole bank account…is $41.57 enough? [People]

Former Assistant Goes Inside Beyoncé and Jay Z’s Relationship

Edited by Lester Brathwaite

And bores the hell out of me. You’d think a former assistant to the biggest diva on the planet would have something better to say than: “I soon realized that the passion hidden behind Beyonce‘s vocals was fueled by her devotion and love for none other than Jay Z.”  I’m just going to assume that Jessica LaShawn was obligated to sign a non-disclosure agreement tighter than B’s weave so I will act as translator to figure out what’s really fueling this relationship. An early guess: cocaine and sex parties.

BEAUTY BADASS: Beyonce Introduces Line of Temporary Tattoos

Edited by Amanda Gabriele

Following in the footsteps of Chanel and Betsey Johnson, Beyonce has added temporary tattoos to her line. She loved the tattoos Temtu created for the Deréon fall 2010 campaign so much, she and her mother Tina Knowles decided to sell them. Read more…

Beyonkey Donkey Flaunts Her Mugler

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

Look at all that Beyonkey Donkey poured into a breathtaking Thierry Mugler original. It’s like a bucket of KFC original but tastier and much more greasy. Oh to be the Spanx huggin all 32′-24′-36′ of that jelly. Beyonce taunts we the fashion elite on the set of her tour promo shoot in a Mugler one of a kind that is clearly NOT House of Dereon, Mama Tina gon’ kill her a few stylists before lunch. I don’t know if you all remember, but Mugler has designed all the costumes and pieces for Beyonce’s new world tour, including that of her dancers and band. I don’t know how much that costs but let’s just say to pay for it, I’m sure Sasha Fierce is gonna have to shake that monkey until it shatters and falls to pieces. If this is just a taste of what Mugler has designed for B’s new tour, clearly I’m going to need a wet nurse and a fresh pack of Depends cuz I’ll be soiling myself with sheer delightz. Actually, I’m soiling myself right now and you all have been a part of it………….and that just makes is that much more special Indiez. Now pass me a baby wipe……..thank ya dear.

-Z’maji of HauteBlogXOXO

BASH: Tina Knowles HSN Collection

Edited by Zmaji Robinson

Warning: HSN products cause nausea, scabies, the cancers, the crazies and a big ol booty. Click at your own risk – Tina Knowles HSN collection

I lovez you Tina!

Indies, in case none of you received the note I sent via carrier pigeon, I personally have a crush on Mrs. Tina Knowles *singing Here’s to you Mrs Robinson/Jesus loves you more than you will know*. Hot old chicks rock! However, anytime anyone starts peddlin’ wares on HSN, my spidey sense starts tingling and I get a huge rash on my butt the shape of Texas. We all know that the whole House of Dereon thing hasn’t gone so well since most of what they’ve put out can only be worn on stage ‘Survivin’ with Destiny’s Child or pattin yo weave on the set of Single Ladies. Don’t get me wrong, I’d still drank Beyonce’s bathin’ water after a rough and sweaty world tour but Dereon wasn’t what I thought it would be………………or actually it’s exactly what I thought it would be *sad face/disappointment in life*.

Everything’s just so random and the word “cohesive” is like a child no one wanted but no one had the courage to get rid of so they just ignore it. I stang by how yummi Tina Knowles make me feel on the inside part but it’s time to put this project sleep in the sweet rest of Jesus and euthanasia. Of course, I am talking about HSN and that’s where fashion is murdered slowly along with your salary. Which brings me to my 2nd point, I’ll be starting an HSN rehabilitation group soon……..not for me, for you………really………..don’t judge Z’maji!

-Z’maji of HauteBlogXOXO