Actually, it’s their new line for dogs, it’s just called Mulberry for Mutt…can’t wait till I can buy Uggs for my pups!

Ok. I don’t want to offend anyone, but look. Gladiator sandals. Why, ladies? I simply don’t understand. Do you want to look like an extra from Troy? Almost no one can pull off this shoe without looking like their bottom half comes from a different century. Ok, maybe this look can be totally rocked by a half-naked Italian model who spends her time being photographed by Guy Bourdain while draped languidly over obscenely expensive furniture, but this is not you. As much as you’d like to imagine yourself as a waifish, fashion-forward lady warrior, I’m sorry to say it, but you look awkward. Pairing gladiator sandals with denim shorts and a t-shirt from the Gap is a look that says “Hey, I totally read Vogue magazine, I get it, I’m trendy. I’m also an editorial assistant who makes under thirty thousand dollars a year and can only afford clothes from Marshalls—and unfortunately, as much as I’d like to strut around Newbury Street looking like I own half of Marc Jacobs’ inventory, I can only pull off looking like someone dissected Jason and the Argonauts and paired his bottom half with a freshman college student’s torso.” Is this really the message you want to give to passers-by?

Some trends are meant to be ignored. Maybe Mischa Barton can look good in it, but you’re not her. You’re a totally normal person. So dress like one. No Uggs (seriously, I don’t care it they’re warm and comfy. You can get warm shoes that don’t look like you stole them from an unconscious Australian backpacker. Also, especially don’t tuck your jeans into them. You will look like every teenaged girl I’ve ever seen. Be your own person.

Oh, and don’t even get me started on Crocs. The only people who are allowed to wear them are nurses. And nurses, since I’ve allowed you to wear Crocs, will you do me a favor and don’t put any of those cutesy little buttons on them?

Since our ‘10 Ghetto Fabulous Don’ts‘ was so widely popular/hated, we decided to create a list of the things white people do that we really don’t understand. We aren’t racist, we promise.

1. Sweatpants/Pajamas in public. I never really understood this, it takes the same amount of effort to put on a pair of jeans as it does to put on all of these things. Ridiculous.

2. Ed Hardy. This photo speaks for itself.

3. Oakley mirrored/rainbow sunglasses. When is it really necessary to be wearing rainbow tinted sunglasses?  White people love how these make them look like a surfer/snowboarder/DOUCHEBAG.

4. Jean skirts + leggings + UGG boots. I am STILL waiting for this “trend” to go out of style. If it’s warm enough out for you to be wearing a skirt, you shouldn’t be wearing UGG boots..if it’s cold enough for you to be wearing UGG boots, you shouldn’t be wearing a skirt. Pick one or the other, please.

5. Socks and sandals.  Look at how short that guy’s pants are! This screams tourist/dad to me.  Who ever decided that this was acceptable?

6. Humor state-themed shirts.  Somewhere along the line, white people decided that it was hilarious to use semi-witty phrases along with whatever state they lived in.  Thus, the humor state shirt was born, and has sadly not died off yet.

7. Stupid tattoos. Butterflies, tribals, skulls, barbed wire, etc.

8. Crocs. I don’t care if they’re “super comfortable,” Crocs are and will always the THE UGLIEST FUCKING THINGS ON THE PLANET. Why they keep inventing different styles (sandals, flats), I have no idea.

9. Cargo shorts. White people LOVE these.  But why do you need all of those pockets?

10. Critter pants. To me, these seem like a cross between cargo pants and pajamas. Either way, not cool. And they look exceptionally dumb with those flip flops.

Don’t hate me more than you already do.

You know, for a lot of people, certain jokes get real old real fast.

Pamela Anderson does not seem to be one of those people; but I don’t know if the joke’s on her or on us…

Our favorite albino kitty cat was snapped with some Starbucks and her perennial Uggs. Puns about Uggs being ugly are just beneath most of us by now, and I would hope that the actual shoes would be too. Especially with an ill-fitting white tee and white shorty shorts.

Her kids are past the spit-up stage, right?

My guess is Tommy Lee isn’t.

I can’t take my eyes off her Crypt Keeper peepers. Alas, back to the trailer she goes!

Images from Hollywood Tuna.

Lily Allen was seen rocking what looks like a homemade Chanel shirt. Reports claim that it is a custom made, one of a kind Chanel shirt that was given to her as a gift from Chanel. If you don’t mind me saying…BULLSHIT!! Her latest album is not set to come out for another month or so, and it looks to me like she’s running off the last few dollars from her last album. Let’s be honest, it’s London in the winter, there is no way it isn’t cold as hell there. She was seen rocking jean shorts and Ugg boots, this bitch is poor! And one of a kind shirt my ass, I’m currently sprawled out on the floor of the office with a massive felt tipped marker and a old ratty undershirt making my own “custom Chanel shirt”. You know the drug habit is bad when you have to resort to fake designer shit, but then again Lily Allen is the fake Katy Perry anyways, so I’m not that surprised.

Thanks Dlisted for the image.

First and foremost, sorry for the image being blurry, I had to blow the image up huge so you could see this guy. So anyway, Kingston Stefani is by far my favorite little kid in the world. His mom and dad are pretty stylish people, and that definitely reflects in little Kingston. Sure these are probably his pajamas, but those little legging/sweatpants he has on are so cute with his Uggs (note: Uggs are only acceptable in the confines of one’s home, or on the feet of cute children).

Not to mention, could he look any cuter riding on top on the luggage on the little airport carts? Kingston gets my vote for coolest/cutest kid in America. Sorry Suri Cruise, but if I had to pick between you and Kingston, you’d be half way to adoption by now! Can’t wait to watch Zuma grow up too!

Thanks to Just Jared for the original image. Sorry I had to crop it and stuff.

According to The Independent, Ugg is attempting to boost their popularity in the men’s market. Please excuse me while I break everything in my general vicinity and suppress my anger by punching infants. This is the dumbest, most unfashionable thing ever. Ugg boots are terrible trend that should never leave the confines of your house. If you are a man and you own Ugg boots you don’t deserve to have feet!. The guy above should be a big enough reason to never own these. According to the article they are pushing the product through celebrities (DUH!). Justin Timberlake, Brad Pitt and a bunch of Chelsea soccer players have been photographed in the shoes. Justin Timberlake is a joke, Brad Pitt is like 50 and Chelsea should just down right know better. They me but comfortable, they may be warm but so are a lot of other less ugly alternatives. Don’t think for one second I won’t push you into on coming traffic for trying to spark this trend.

Thanks Flickr for the images.

The first Northeast Ohio snow flurries sprinkled my freshly straightened hair as I walked into work this morning. I hate snow with all my heart, but I despise Ugg boots more. And in Kent, OH, snow can only mean a parade of these precipitation-stained ogre shoes.

This post should come with a warning because what you’re about to see may shock, frighten, and/or induce seizures. The new Uggs have just arrived, and they are uglier than ever. This hybrid mix of revolting pink suede that is spewing sheepskin all over the outside of itself has left me speechless. And since we are tormenting ourselves already, I’ve included a photo of my favorite style, the camouflage Uggs.

I’m hoping this little squall is a minor phase in the weather until the end of November. But you never know, so I’m preparing myself for the worst. Because trust me, you’ve never dug your car out of the snow until you’ve done it while the girl beside you in pastel-purple Uggs is whining about the weather into her gem-encrusted cell phone. Don’t fuck with me Mother Nature, it’s too soon.

I typically love flipping through the glossy pages of Nylon Magazine or scoping out some new trends on their website, but a recent fashion suggestion really had me questioning the intelligence of their writers. At first I was really digging the new line of snowboard boots by Nike. What’s not to like, right? Trendy “Air Walk” style Nike’s making all the kids on the slopes jealous. But whoever thought it would be a good idea to advocate wearing them as actual boots, off the slopes, is an idiot. I hate Uggs just as much as the next fashion conscious girl, but never in a million years would I replace them with a pair of snowboard boots.

Take it from a snowboarding obsessed Buffalonian, you do NOT want to wear snowboard boots out in public. Not only will everyone make fun of you for looking like a tool (especially if you don’t actually snowboard and are wearing them for the sake of fashion) but the boots aren’t exactly graceful to walk in. Snowboard boots force you bend your knees when you walk, so by all means, if you want to imitate the kid next-door with cerebral palsy, then wearing snowboard boots is the way to go. 

Visit NYLON for the idiotic article.

There are perks to living in the suburban MidWest that you just can’t find in the city. The air doesn’t smell like garbage, you can take a breath without getting a lungful of pollution and a few shiny dimes will rent you a massive apartment. Obviously, suburbia comes with substantial downsides like pollen allergies, malls and girls who believe dressing like baby prostitutes is fashionable. An ass-revealing denim skirt paired with a shirt stolen from a second grader and finished with Ugg boots seems to be the uniform of choice for many ‘round these parts. Upon thinking of how many times I have seen this outfit in my four years of college, I have to take a Vicodin to ease my dreadful migraine. And if winter isn’t bad enough in the Snow Belt, I will get to see sweatpants tucked into those same Uggs in a matter of weeks. Seems like the perfect season to start a blinder fad!

Note: this is not doctored, this photo is just that good.

Question: Kate Moss is exacerbated because…

a. her crew of 20 stalkarazzi refuse to let her out.

 

b. the woman in front of her just let one out.

 

 

OR

c. UGGGGGGS!!!!!