Laugh it up while you can, girls. Those boots are comin' off by 1st period.

In a letter to parents, Pottstown principal Gail Cooper announced the ban citing students hiding “items in their boots that  are prohibited in school.” Chief among these so-called “items” are cell phones, which according to the school handbook “must be turned off” and “kept in the student’s locker from 7:55 am to 2:30 pm.”

Understandably, the prospect of being without one’s cell phone for a six-and-a-half hour period is daunting for anyone in this day and age. I freak out if my phone’s not within clawing distance. But I’m also a hundred years old. Why twelve-year-olds needs their cell phone on them at all times when literally everyone they know is in the same building is beyond me. Besides, parents can simply call the school if they need to reach their pubescent progeny. My guess is Pottstown wants to cut down on all the damn sexting and tweeting and whatever the hell kids are doing these days. And if banning Uggs is the solution, so be it.

It should be noted, though, that students can still wear their Uggs to school, but have to ”change into a pair of sneakers or shoes before entering homeroom.” Meanwhile, “lace up, tight at the ankle, boots, shoes and high top sneakers” are still permissible. I wonder, where does Principal Cooper stand on Crocs in the classroom? [The Mercury]

Triskaidekaphobia, the morbid fear of the number 13, has led to buildings without a thirteenth floor, airports without a 13th gate, a neverending film franchise and of course, the most notorious day of the year. For your Friday the 13th viewing terror, here are 13 style superstitions to heed and fear:

1. Crack a coke mirror, get 7 years of bad blow.

2. Cross a black catwalk, fall on the runway.

3. Naomi Campbell-walking under a ladder will bring several dirty looking pebbles to you in the night.

4. Botox a day keeps the wrinkles away.

5. Listening to Lady Gaga will make you gay — as will  one drunken time in college.

6. Step on her crack, Whitney Houston will break your motherf*cking back.

7. Opening an umbrella indoors makes it rain on a whore.

8. For the lucky bride — something old, something new, something borrowed, and no pre-nup, boo.

9. Hanging Sarah Jessica Parker‘s shoe on the wall will bring good luck.

10. Never wear Uggs after Labor Day — or ever.

11. Find a tranny on her head pick her up, all night long you’ll get free shots.

12. Kissing a toad gives you warts — as will kissing a guido.

13. Garlic protects you from vampires, evil spirits and ever having a date.

Take it easy out there today kids for as a wise blind man once said, “Superstition ain’t the way.”

Cargo Shorts

Useful. Yes. Practical. Sure. Awful. You betcha. Give me a utilitarian article of clothing anyday of the week, but there’s a time and a place for a multi-pocketed cargo short. And that time is called hiking outdoors or robbing a 7-Eleven.

1. Crack a coke mirror, get 7 years of bad blow.

2. Cross a black catwalk, fall on the runway.

3. Naomi Campbell-walking under a ladder will bring several dirty looking pebbles to you in the night.

4. Botox a day keeps the wrinkles away.

5. Listening to Lady Gaga will make you gay — as will  one drunken time in college.

6. Step on her crack, Whitney Houston will break your motherf*cking back.

7. Opening an umbrella indoors makes it rain on a whore.

8. For the lucky bride — something old, something new, something borrowed, and no pre-nup, boo.

9. Hanging Sarah Jessica Parker‘s shoe on the wall will bring good luck.

10. Never wear Uggs after Labor Day — or ever.

11. Find a tranny on her head pick her up, all night long you’ll get free shots.

12. Kissing a toad gives you warts — as will kissing a guido.

13. Garlic protects you from vampires, evil spirits and ever having a date.

Take it easy out there today kids for as a wise blind man once said, “Superstition ain’t the way.”

A total of 118 fake Ugg raids were conducted in 2010. In the largest of these, law enforcement swooped in to seize 244,648 pair of counterfeit boots in China.

Holy camel hair! That’s a lotta fake sheepskin.

Link Love: WWD

Word has it Tom Brady is trying to beat out Gisele Bundchen for the role of supermodel. It has been announced that the football player is going to be the new face of UGG. Apparently Mr. Brady was approached because “he’s always been a fan of the sheep-skinned boots.” Don’t get me wrong, I love my UGGs, especially during the winter, but it never occurred to me that Tom Brady had a pair of his own to love. Can’t wait to check out this ad campaign, should be very interesting.

LINK LOVE: Cocoperez

Anna Wintour, for fear of being trampled, used her bob as a shield and stole away under the aegis of André Leon Talley‘s greatcoat.

The new collaboration is ready for pre-order at the Ugg website now. I don’t know about you, but I’m not really impressed. The only one that isn’t completely trashy and “Long Island Princess”-ish is the Siobhan, a Donegal Cable knit cashmere blend boot detailed with antique nickel studs, lamb suede fringe detailed with antique nickel double faced studs.

Take a look for yourself and tell me which one is you favorite.

LINK LOVE:! FIRST FRUIT EXCLUSIV@ OF OUR NETWORK http://www.alienrock.ning.com THE UNUSUAL SKULL OF THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL MYSTIC ! ; The CHUPACABRAS; SHORTAGE IN VENEZUELA ¡

We all know that as employees in retail stores people are sometimes told to abide by specific dress codes. But what happens when the rules don’t stop there? Last week American Apparel made quite the mistake when someone leaked the employee dress code and beauty requirements. There were a few standard guidelines, for example, employees must never set foot in the store with a pair of Uggs on their feet. But what seemed to get people hyped up wasn’t the dress code, but rather, the beauty guidelines. Among the list were minimal makeup, perfectly plucked brows and naturally colored, long hair. Take a look at the detailed requirements below:

For the women:

a) Makeup is to be kept to a minimal- please take this very seriously. Liquid eyeliner, pencil eyeliner and eyeshadow are advised against; mascara must look very natural (ie. should not be clumpy or a color that does not compliment your skin and haircolor). Blush must not be overdone- should not have glitter or sparkles. Liquid foundation is prohibited (undereye concealer is understandable if it looks natural- ie. not clumpy or caked on, must match your skin tone). Please do not use a shiny gloss on your lips; any lipcolor must be subtle.
b) Eyebrows must not be overplucked. Full eyebrows are very much encouraged. Please do not dye your eyebrows a different color.
c) We encourage long, healthy, natural hair, so please be advised of the following:
-Hair must be kept your natural color.
-Blow-drying hair excessively could cause heat damage, so this is advised against.
-”Bangs” or “fringe” are advised against. It is not part of the direction we’re moving in.

For the men:

a) Hair should look natural. Excessive product to the extent of creating stiffness and an unnatural or greasy appearance to your hair is advised against.
b) Eyebrows should be natural. Please do not dye your eyebrows a different color or overpluck them.
c) Males should not wear makeup.
d) Facial hair needs to be kept clean and well groomed. Any mustache or goatee of a contemporary style are advised against.
e) No gauges allowed whatsoever.

LINK LOVE: NYMag

LINK: The 13 Ugliest Shoes In The World Style File

Add Your Own Stories on ENVY The Fashion Network

The last Jaeger London collection I truly loved was the label’s Fall 2008 collection, but designer Phoebe Philo finally resurrected the thumbs-up appeal of her label. It was a predominately English vibe with khaki suits, plaid leather buckle jackets, loosely knit sweaters, belted trenches and English-riding like hats. But perhaps the best element of the collection were the shoes, a combination of Ugg boots and leather booties.

Find more photos like this on ENVY. THE FASHION NETWORK

LINK LOVE: Style

Let’s face it, jeans aren’t comfortable, and sweatpants don’t look so good. So what do you wear (besides your Juicy Couture tracksuit of course)? The answer: Pajama Pants!!! Yep, wear them with your fave Snuggie and don’t forget those Uggs!

LINK LOVE: VideoGum

Jimmy Choo has plans to collaborate with Uggs. Tamara Mellon told WWD, “Ugg Australia is the only other footwear I have in my wardrobe,” therefore she’ll design a limited edition collection of five different sheepskin boots with classic Jimmy Choo design details, which will debut next Oct and set you back anywhere from $595 to $795.

LINK LOVE: Fashionista

Love the floral mini, but why does she have to ruin it it blue Ugglies?Image via ICYDK

Actually, it’s their new line for dogs, it’s just called Mulberry for Mutt…can’t wait till I can buy Uggs for my pups!

LINK: Racked via Love

Ok. I don’t want to offend anyone, but look. Gladiator sandals. Why, ladies? I simply don’t understand. Do you want to look like an extra from Troy? Almost no one can pull off this shoe without looking like their bottom half comes from a different century. Ok, maybe this look can be totally rocked by a half-naked Italian model who spends her time being photographed by Guy Bourdain while draped languidly over obscenely expensive furniture, but this is not you. As much as you’d like to imagine yourself as a waifish, fashion-forward lady warrior, I’m sorry to say it, but you look awkward. Pairing gladiator sandals with denim shorts and a t-shirt from the Gap is a look that says “Hey, I totally read Vogue magazine, I get it, I’m trendy. I’m also an editorial assistant who makes under thirty thousand dollars a year and can only afford clothes from Marshalls—and unfortunately, as much as I’d like to strut around Newbury Street looking like I own half of Marc Jacobs’ inventory, I can only pull off looking like someone dissected Jason and the Argonauts and paired his bottom half with a freshman college student’s torso.” Is this really the message you want to give to passers-by?

Some trends are meant to be ignored. Maybe Mischa Barton can look good in it, but you’re not her. You’re a totally normal person. So dress like one. No Uggs (seriously, I don’t care it they’re warm and comfy. You can get warm shoes that don’t look like you stole them from an unconscious Australian backpacker. Also, especially don’t tuck your jeans into them. You will look like every teenaged girl I’ve ever seen. Be your own person.

Oh, and don’t even get me started on Crocs. The only people who are allowed to wear them are nurses. And nurses, since I’ve allowed you to wear Crocs, will you do me a favor and don’t put any of those cutesy little buttons on them?

1. Sweatpants/Pajamas in public. I never really understood this, it takes the same amount of effort to put on a pair of jeans as it does to put on all of these things. Ridiculous.

2. Ed Hardy. This photo speaks for itself.

3. Oakley mirrored/rainbow sunglasses. When is it really necessary to be wearing rainbow tinted sunglasses?  White people love how these make them look like a surfer/snowboarder/DOUCHEBAG.

4. Jean skirts + leggings + UGG boots. I am STILL waiting for this “trend” to go out of style. If it’s warm enough out for you to be wearing a skirt, you shouldn’t be wearing UGG boots..if it’s cold enough for you to be wearing UGG boots, you shouldn’t be wearing a skirt. Pick one or the other, please.

5. Socks and sandals.  Look at how short that guy’s pants are! This screams tourist/dad to me.  Who ever decided that this was acceptable?

6. Humor state-themed shirts.  Somewhere along the line, white people decided that it was hilarious to use semi-witty phrases along with whatever state they lived in.  Thus, the humor state shirt was born, and has sadly not died off yet.

7. Stupid tattoos. Butterflies, tribals, skulls, barbed wire, etc.

8. Crocs. I don’t care if they’re “super comfortable,” Crocs are and will always the THE UGLIEST FUCKING THINGS ON THE PLANET. Why they keep inventing different styles (sandals, flats), I have no idea.

9. Cargo shorts. White people LOVE these.  But why do you need all of those pockets?

10. Critter pants. To me, these seem like a cross between cargo pants and pajamas. Either way, not cool. And they look exceptionally dumb with those flip flops.

Don’t hate me more than you already do.

You know, for a lot of people, certain jokes get real old real fast.

Pamela Anderson does not seem to be one of those people; but I don’t know if the joke’s on her or on us…

Our favorite albino kitty cat was snapped with some Starbucks and her perennial Uggs. Puns about Uggs being ugly are just beneath most of us by now, and I would hope that the actual shoes would be too. Especially with an ill-fitting white tee and white shorty shorts.

Her kids are past the spit-up stage, right?

My guess is Tommy Lee isn’t.

I can’t take my eyes off her Crypt Keeper peepers. Alas, back to the trailer she goes!

Images from Hollywood Tuna.

Lily Allen was seen rocking what looks like a homemade Chanel shirt. Reports claim that it is a custom made, one of a kind Chanel shirt that was given to her as a gift from Chanel. If you don’t mind me saying…BULLSHIT!! Her latest album is not set to come out for another month or so, and it looks to me like she’s running off the last few dollars from her last album. Let’s be honest, it’s London in the winter, there is no way it isn’t cold as hell there. She was seen rocking jean shorts and Ugg boots, this bitch is poor! And one of a kind shirt my ass, I’m currently sprawled out on the floor of the office with a massive felt tipped marker and a old ratty undershirt making my own “custom Chanel shirt”. You know the drug habit is bad when you have to resort to fake designer shit, but then again Lily Allen is the fake Katy Perry anyways, so I’m not that surprised.

Thanks Dlisted for the image.

First and foremost, sorry for the image being blurry, I had to blow the image up huge so you could see this guy. So anyway, Kingston Stefani is by far my favorite little kid in the world. His mom and dad are pretty stylish people, and that definitely reflects in little Kingston. Sure these are probably his pajamas, but those little legging/sweatpants he has on are so cute with his Uggs (note: Uggs are only acceptable in the confines of one’s home, or on the feet of cute children).

Not to mention, could he look any cuter riding on top on the luggage on the little airport carts? Kingston gets my vote for coolest/cutest kid in America. Sorry Suri Cruise, but if I had to pick between you and Kingston, you’d be half way to adoption by now! Can’t wait to watch Zuma grow up too!

Thanks to Just Jared for the original image. Sorry I had to crop it and stuff.

According to The Independent, Ugg is attempting to boost their popularity in the men’s market. Please excuse me while I break everything in my general vicinity and suppress my anger by punching infants. This is the dumbest, most unfashionable thing ever. Ugg boots are terrible trend that should never leave the confines of your house. If you are a man and you own Ugg boots you don’t deserve to have feet!. The guy above should be a big enough reason to never own these. According to the article they are pushing the product through celebrities (DUH!). Justin Timberlake, Brad Pitt and a bunch of Chelsea soccer players have been photographed in the shoes. Justin Timberlake is a joke, Brad Pitt is like 50 and Chelsea should just down right know better. They me but comfortable, they may be warm but so are a lot of other less ugly alternatives. Don’t think for one second I won’t push you into on coming traffic for trying to spark this trend.

Thanks Flickr for the images.

The first Northeast Ohio snow flurries sprinkled my freshly straightened hair as I walked into work this morning. I hate snow with all my heart, but I despise Ugg boots more. And in Kent, OH, snow can only mean a parade of these precipitation-stained ogre shoes.

This post should come with a warning because what you’re about to see may shock, frighten, and/or induce seizures. The new Uggs have just arrived, and they are uglier than ever. This hybrid mix of revolting pink suede that is spewing sheepskin all over the outside of itself has left me speechless. And since we are tormenting ourselves already, I’ve included a photo of my favorite style, the camouflage Uggs.

I’m hoping this little squall is a minor phase in the weather until the end of November. But you never know, so I’m preparing myself for the worst. Because trust me, you’ve never dug your car out of the snow until you’ve done it while the girl beside you in pastel-purple Uggs is whining about the weather into her gem-encrusted cell phone. Don’t fuck with me Mother Nature, it’s too soon.

Take it from a snowboarding obsessed Buffalonian, you do NOT want to wear snowboard boots out in public. Not only will everyone make fun of you for looking like a tool (especially if you don’t actually snowboard and are wearing them for the sake of fashion) but the boots aren’t exactly graceful to walk in. Snowboard boots force you bend your knees when you walk, so by all means, if you want to imitate the kid next-door with cerebral palsy, then wearing snowboard boots is the way to go. 

Visit NYLON for the idiotic article.

There are perks to living in the suburban MidWest that you just can’t find in the city. The air doesn’t smell like garbage, you can take a breath without getting a lungful of pollution and a few shiny dimes will rent you a massive apartment. Obviously, suburbia comes with substantial downsides like pollen allergies, malls and girls who believe dressing like baby prostitutes is fashionable. An ass-revealing denim skirt paired with a shirt stolen from a second grader and finished with Ugg boots seems to be the uniform of choice for many ‘round these parts. Upon thinking of how many times I have seen this outfit in my four years of college, I have to take a Vicodin to ease my dreadful migraine. And if winter isn’t bad enough in the Snow Belt, I will get to see sweatpants tucked into those same Uggs in a matter of weeks. Seems like the perfect season to start a blinder fad!

Question: Kate Moss is exacerbated because…

a. her crew of 20 stalkarazzi refuse to let her out.

 

b. the woman in front of her just let one out.

 

 

OR

c. UGGGGGGS!!!!!